Writes Jill Serjeant at Reuters (prominently linked this morning by Drudge).
First, I just want to say the Golden Globe award is not a "statuette." The Academy Award is a statuette — a small sculpture of the figure of a person, AKA "Oscar."
Both are powerfully phallic, however, so feel free — award winners — to riff on the sexism of the tangible object they want you to hold in your hand as you effuse about movies.
I can think of about 10 jokes that would get you in trouble, but if we are in the Era of That's Not Funny, you should choose the drama category. I'm thinking — when they try to hand you that thing...
1. Silently decline to accept the proffered phallic symbol. Hold you hands up in a gesture of imperious rejection.
2. Proceed slowly to the lectern as the audience absorbs the grandeur of the moment. Smile in a regal manner and let their minds race imagining what you will say.
3. Deliver a perfect line. I suggest: "No. Just... no. Never. You will never (pause) lord (pause) that (long pause) phallus (pause) over us again. No. Just... no. Forever."
4. Walk away with you held held high and without a glance at the standing O.
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46 comments:
the cloud of sexual harassment
The silver lining of stardom.
They should motorize the oscars.
There's a porn actors award too, the AVN award.
"Both are powerfully phallic"
Guys, if yours looks like the Golden Globe a call to your urologist is probably a good idea.
Wait...does Meade's look like that? Yikes!
As in most years they'll be trying to top Meryl. This year they just might.
I agree the whole alleged phallic symbolism thing is so overdone it sinks into ridiculousness.
Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
These are representations of 2 phallic ideals — length and girthiness.
I'm boycotting it along with the NFL. I haven't really watch much the last few years because of the actors embarrassing behavior which causes "vicarious embarrassment."
"Previously, little research had been conducted on "vicarious embarrassment," but a new study found that watching other people make fools of themselves triggers the part of the brain where we process pain.
In the study by British and German researchers, subjects were presented with descriptions of a series of uncomfortable everyday situations, including someone slipping in mud, leaving their fly open, and burping in a fancy restaurant. Whether the character was aware that they had embarrassed themselves or totally oblivious, the situation caused the regions of the brain related to pain — the anterior cingulate cortex and the left anterior insula — to activate. The reaction in the brain was more intense for the subjects who described themselves as very empathetic."
https://jezebel.com/5791928/the-science-behind-your-secondhand-embarrassment
Can't she even carry the nice held held off stage with her?
This seems too iconoclastic. Should all public life refuse icons of the terrible male race as if they are Confederate Generals on horses?
"There's a porn actors award too, the AVN award."
I recommend the David Foster Wallace essay on the subject, "Big Red Son" (in this great collection, also easily found reproduced on line).
Excerpt:
"Thirty-four-year-old porn actor Cal Jammer killed himself in 1995. Starlets Shauna Grant, Nancy Kelly, Alex Jordan, and Savannah have all killed themselves in the last decade. Savannah and Jordan received AVN's Best New Starlet awards in 1991 and 1992, respectively. Savannah killed herself after getting mildly disfigured in a car accident. Alex Jordan is famous for having addressed her suicide note to her pet bird...."
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
Bill Clinton ruined that old line decades ago.
What's needed now is a nice balance of length and girthiness.
I blame vasectomies for this trend. Once birth control was no longer being done to women but began to be done to men with a knife to cut the men, this outcome became inevitable.
The Turner Classic Movies are there to remind us that good men are still needed even if they are now criminalized if not fixed.
“And it’s No, nay, never [CLAP CLAP CLAP CLAP] No nay never No moooooore! [CLAP CLAP]
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar."
"Bill Clinton ruined that old line decades ago."
A cuban or a monica, depends on your taste.
Instead, they will all (or almost all)go for Trump disparagement without recognizing the MAGAnomical progress we are making.
how the industry will handle live on the world’s stage a scandal that has rocked show business
Meanwhile, let's not overlook that in doing so, they will reignite the scandal of the last couple of years of racism in Hollywood and not enough people of color in prestigious roles, directors, producers, etc., as the black folk get displaced and shoved once again to the back of the bus. Just like Charlottesville and BLM did last summer.
I'm probably the only person in the world who hated the movie "Pretty Woman." Having gone to an urban university near what was the red light district, I couldn't take it's romantic portrayal of the life of a prostitute - especially a streetwalker. I knew what streetwalkers looked like (certainly NOT like Julia Roberts) and I knew they were drug addicted, exploited, and abused. They were not going to wind up married to Richard Gere. I was in NYC on Halloween one year and saw a very beautiful woman who was obviously stoned out of her mind with a big hickey on her neck. She was walking next to a man who was obviously her pimp. I thought to myself, "There is the living dead." I feel the same way about those in the pornography industry. Of course, some people do escape, but most don't.
The internet has made the streetwalker a thing of the past. You still see a few, hideous-looking crack or meth addicts in the seediest of areas. But you have to hunt for them.
The red carpet would be the perfect place for a #she knew protest.
Girl actresses should get "Golden Halo" awards.
Pretty Woman isn't about prostitutes. It's about women in general and courtship.
Julia Roberts plays the same role in Notting Hill, different profession. Woman in general.
THREAD WINNER!!
Wait...does Meade's look like that? Yikes!
1/5/18, 6:30 AM
In both cases the guy has all the lines.
The golden globe symbolizes Mother Gaia, nothing phallatiogenic about that. In fact, my mind keeps trying to penetrate the golden globe with oscar.
Round or encircling objects are said to be womb symbols. The Golden Globe is not the most phallic of all awards. Maybe if its phallic impact was further softened by presenting it enclosed in a Gucci handbag, women might be induced to accept it........I was hoping that Meryl would be chastened or apologetic in her pronouncements. No such luck. That woman is invincibly holy and righteous in all her words and deeds.......The right has fucked up a fair number of things. I know this for a fact because there are movies memorializing their stupidity. The left has also fucked up an even larger number of things but you have to read scholarly history books to discover such things,
riff on the sexism of the tangible object
My riff is: Tangible objects are more sexist than intangible objects.
Alex Jordan is famous for having addressed her suicide note to her pet bird.
Actually, Alex Jordan is famous for building the "House on the Rock".
Wallace starts "Big Red Son" with some ridiculous false statements: he claims there are about 20-30 "self castrations" each year, done by men who are seeking, or have given up seeking, the "perfect release" or some such bullshit.
The self-castrations are done by psychotic transsexuals. Look it up.
"No. Just... no. Never. You will never (pause) lord (pause) that (long pause) phallus (pause) over us again. No. Just... no. Forever."
Human nature abides.
Globes are not phallic; rather they represent the universe and the recipient is god-like in their power. They were, and to some, idols and symbols of idol worship, especially in the Hellenic Age (people who knew their penis, pussy, and global power images quite well).
Atlas holds the Universe on his back; not someone's dick--that's the responsibility of some goddess or demi-goddess.
In the Talmud, for example, an image of a king holding a globe (or armillary sphere) were considered idols; without the globe, it was a statue of a king or mere mortal.
I could see objecting to getting the Golden Globe for religious reasons; but, not for sexual symbolism unless it was a poor Gilda Radner impersonation.
Ann Althouse: These are representations of 2 phallic ideals — length and girthiness.
If you can consider a globe to be phallic because it has "girth", then what shape, pray tell, would not be phallic? I think you're over-defining the term to meaningless here, Ann.
Just another self-congratulatory circle-jerk in which I have absolutely no interest.
Hands up, don't spooge!
SeanF said...
I think you're over-defining the term to meaningless here, Ann.
It's funny yet a bit sad.
You'd think girth would be the important thing. A vagina is only 3-4 inches long so it's cervix jostling after that.
"I'm probably the only person in the world who hated the movie "Pretty Woman.""
I neither liked it nor disliked it. I've never seen it.
I don't think I've ever watched these award shows either.
Golden Globe looks like a penis after trying to vigorously get through a chastity belt
If you had to imagine a more tedious, sermonising awards show than those in trump’s election year, this would be it. They might as well get Whoopi back as host, to cinch the ratings disaster, and yet...congratulate themselves at the same time for going for the tiresomely woke hostette.
What SeanF said. Save a cube EVERYTHING has 'girth', so everything would be phallic.
I think you tugged this metaphor too hard.
If anything, the Golden Globe looks...um...globe like. Can we think of any sexual body part which looks globe like, particularly in Hollywood?
Anything? Ms. Yabo seems to have an answer.
Hillarywood- the capital of the sacred golden calf cult.
The matrix of group-think, daddy issue, and self-congratulatory leftist elitist moralizing to the deplorable commoner, making movies for applauding Colbert dip-shits.
Red carpets, yachts, and Barry O. No words on charity.
Maybe they could give Linda Lovelace a Lifetime Achievement Award, jointly with Bob Woodhard.
If the host doesn't first ask everyone that had a sexual encounter with Harvey Weinstein to get a lead part to raise their hands, the show isn't worth watching.
How will Hollywood handle the new MeToo world? Really, you can't predict what almost every person on the stage says?? Really?
The human body has an unmistakably phallic form. And the head... Gaia is sexist.
What might be appropriate for handling these awards: oven mitts (for the men) and boxing gloves (for the women).
They will ignore Harvey and concentrate on Trump. Harvey is, after all, one of them.
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