Abril 27, 2016

Man in Brooklyn gets sucker-punched by a guy who says: "This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf!"

"I didn't even see the guy. I just see his fist coming towards me. It knocked me, and while I was falling down the stairs, all I hear was, 'This is because you look exactly like Shia LaBeouf!'"
Ipinaskil ni Ann Althouse sa 7:34 AM
Tags: , ,

28 komento:

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

You can never be too careful when it comes to Actual Cannibal Shia Labeouf...

https://youtu.be/o0u4M6vppCI

4/27/16, 7:40 AM
Etienne ayon kay ...

In a city of millions, keep your head on a swivel....

...and always, always! carry an ice pick.

Up the belly, and into the heart
Men will fall, and life will part.

4/27/16, 7:45 AM
traditionalguy ayon kay ...

New York needs a Hate Crime Law. One that outlaws the hated Shia Laboeuf

4/27/16, 7:49 AM
Brando ayon kay ...

When they came for the people who looked like Shia Laboeuf, I said nothing, because I look nothing like Shia Laboeuf...

4/27/16, 7:52 AM
ddh ayon kay ...

What's the frequency, Kenneth?

4/27/16, 7:53 AM
rehajm ayon kay ...

If it were the 70s the guy would've stabbed him. This sounds more like the later Ed Koch years.

4/27/16, 8:11 AM
Henry ayon kay ...

"Readers in Washington get sucker-punched by a columnist who says: "Plato would be horrified by Trump’s rise."

4/27/16, 8:14 AM
Wilbur ayon kay ...

"This is because you're named Shia Labeouf!!!"

4/27/16, 8:15 AM
J. Farmer ayon kay ...

Hmm...knockout game?

4/27/16, 8:29 AM
holdfast ayon kay ...

It was an understandable reaction. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull raped my childhood.

4/27/16, 8:50 AM
Eric the Fruit Bat ayon kay ...

I think it was in Yankee Doodle Dandy that the young George M. Cohan got beat up by street toughs because he portrayed Peck's Bad Boy on stage.

Maybe that's meta-something.

Maybe not.

4/27/16, 8:53 AM
Anne in Rockwall, TX ayon kay ...

How does one pronounce Shia LaBeouf? This is what I get for reading more than listening or watching.

4/27/16, 8:57 AM
Laslo Spatula ayon kay ...

Look-alikes to be sucker-punched next:

Jake Gyllenhall. Moon-eyed woe-is-me face.

Ryan Gosling. Sad-eyed face on much too big a head.

Ben Affleck. Used to date Jennifer Lopez face.

Matt Damon. Squeezed donut face.

Brad Pitt. Pretty boy pretending to be soulful face. A second punch for marrying Angelina Jolie. Because.

George Clooney. Insufferably smug motherfucking prick face.

Jeff Goldblum. Pseudo-intellectual self-infatuated face. Like an older Shia LaBeouf, almost.

Philip Seymour Hoffman. Dead, but the lookalike would still deserve it. Puffy squinty self-satisfied pretentious artiste face.

Paul Rudd. Self-aware nice-guy milk face. Punch!

All the male actors in the "Avengers" Series. All of them. You guys are done already. Stop. Mock hero interchangeable faces. Includes Robert Downey Jr: especially.

Paul Giamatti. Quintessential Asking-for-it face.

I am Laslo.

4/27/16, 9:06 AM
vza ayon kay ...

Thank you for posting this story. I laughed myself silly this morning...and lord, I needed that! The comments are hilarious, too.

4/27/16, 9:41 AM
Char Char Binks, Esq. ayon kay ...

Justifiable.

4/27/16, 9:45 AM
Ipso Fatso ayon kay ...

Who the hell is Shia Lebeef?

4/27/16, 9:49 AM
robother ayon kay ...

After all these years, Ann is still exhibiting snobbism toward Brooklyn. The guy is from Brooklyn, but he was sucker-punched at the Delancey Street subway stop on the Lower East Side (that would be Manhattan).

4/27/16, 9:59 AM
mikee ayon kay ...

I, for one, think the attacker just used the victim's vague resemblance to Shia Leboef as an excuse, and likely he would have assaulted the poor guy even if he'd looked like Daniel Radcliffe. And definitely if he'd looked like Rupert Grint.

4/27/16, 10:01 AM
Friendo ayon kay ...

I saw Squeezed donut face open for Insufferably smug motherfucking prick face at CBGBs in '82

4/27/16, 11:23 AM
Dr Weevil ayon kay ...

I wonder how many Americans are like me in knowing who Sleepy LaBeef is (6'7" rockabilly singer) while being totally ignorant of whether Shia LaBeouf is man or woman, singer, actor, dancer, stand-up comic, reality TV star, or what. I've heard the name before, but only know that because it's an unusual name. Should I look him/her up now? I probably will, but mostly to see if s/he has an unusually punchable face.

4/27/16, 12:04 PM
Owen ayon kay ...

Somewhere, the ghost of Bernard Goetz stirs.

4/27/16, 1:23 PM
Laslo Spatula ayon kay ...

I would never knock out a Scarlett Johansson look-alike.

Knock up, maybe.

I am Laslo.

4/27/16, 1:50 PM
holdfast ayon kay ...

Hey Laslo - leave RDJ, Jeremy Renner and Samuel L. Jackson alone. As to the rest - have at it.

But I'll still take Cobie Smulders and Emily Van Camp! You can have ScarJo.

4/27/16, 2:55 PM
n.n ayon kay ...

Knockout Games.

4/27/16, 3:52 PM
Char Char Binks, Esq. ayon kay ...

Owen said...
Somewhere, the ghost of Bernard Goetz stirs.


Probably in New York City, since, at latest report, that's where Goetz lives,

4/27/16, 4:32 PM
Clyde ayon kay ...

I bet that happens to Shia LeBeouf all the time.

4/27/16, 4:59 PM
Bleach Drinkers Curing Coronavirus Together ayon kay ...

Keep it classy, Brooklyn.

4/27/16, 6:37 PM
amr ayon kay ...

Do we know that the attacker was not Shia Labeouf?

4/28/16, 7:18 AM

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