Well, that sounds awfully easy. Why aren't we seeing these more often? Check out the examples at the link to see how simple these are. (Much easier than limericks.) The first one ever written was:
Sir Humphry DavyWhich sets the standard. Easy, no? Perhaps you'll feel inspired to write one about the most famous man on the face of the earth (Donald J. Trump) or some other famous person.
Abominated gravy.
He lived in the odium
Of having discovered sodium.
I don't remember ever seeing this word before, but I've discovered the on-line archive of NYT acrostic puzzles and I've been working my way back in time, got to the puzzle from July 27, 2014 and was stymied by the clue "Four-line verse poking fun at a famous person."
(From the same puzzle, I learned that the word "orchestra" originally meant "the circle where a chorus sang and danced" and that the first intercollegiate football game was hosted by Rutgers. Love the randomness of the information in acrostics. Much more interesting than the crossword.)
Posts
91 comments:
Hillary Clinton
Never fit in.
So her husband Bill
Found other holes to fill.
Barack Obama
Loved his mama
And spends his life
Taking shit from his wife
Double dactyls are considerably harder.
Donald Trump
Has made the GOP a rump
By showing those fools
Have no family jewels
Donald Trump
Took a dump
Hitler Also Pooped!
The New York Times scooped
Malachi Mulligan,
Two dactyls in
a row make it
sound like a snake pit.
Little Baby Satan
Was a Master of Hatin'
He's on the Boob Tube
Vanilla Ice Cube
There once was a man called Obama
Who didn't like his Grandmama
She's too White
He said with Delight.
Will your stomach churn?
As you feel the Bern?
The sheep say Baaaaaa
At angry grandpa
Althouse would probably appreciate:
Dylan Thomas
showed early promise.
His name's no dimmer, man
on old Bob Zimmerman.
(Not my personal favorite example of the genre, but there it is.)
A wife of Trump
Is never Frump
But the wife of Bush
has a very large tush.
Bernie Sanders
Doesn't have handlers
To tell him what to say
But he's losing anyway
What difference does it make?
Your accent is fake
Bark like a dog
Benghazi? The fog!
John Kasich
Pronounced like basic
Wants to get along
But is getting schlonged
I am not rich
I am Kasich
Pay me some money
I will be your honey!
Professor Ann Althouse
Allows us all t' grouse
In this welcoming forum
With varying decorum.
Hillary Rodham
Foggy Bottom
Secrets were spilled
People got killed
Donald J Trump
Spoke from the stump
Drove the progs mad
Made the reps sad
Amanda the poet
Didn't know it
AABB you see
Is not ABAB
Donald Drumpf
Leaves me stumped.
But give the man his due:
An FU clarihew.
Perfessor Althouse
And her puparrazi doghouse
Write and consign with wit
Those of us inclined to web flit
I wish somebody would attack me
The quiet peace of serenity
I can fix your brain, you know
Got to catch a train and go
Hill, “wife” of Bill,
Is a shrew who sounds shrill.
SOS: epic fail.
But will not go to jail.
Tis sad but true-
the interests of Althouse commenters be few,
despite myriad nudging tricks, they
Think of naught but politics.
I actually wrote one of these once, inspired by the Humphrey Davy one, which I always loved:
Max von Planck
Attacked and sank
With a quizzical, physical touch:
He asked "How much?"
I've been doing the Times Acrostics since about April of 2014. Always liked the idea of acrostics, but the letter transfers on paper were too much of a drag. It's so much nicer when the transfers happen automatically.
I've been lured recently by the Times archives, but there's only so much time to waste. Looking back, I had done the 7/27/14 one Althouse is referring to (and the orchestra clue was a gimme for me) in one of my better times.
Will be heading to Stamford (ugh) next weekend for the Will Shortz crossword tournament. After a 30-year lapse, I went to the one in Brooklyn two years ago to meet up with a high school friend. Being in Brooklyn for the first time (and spending some time in Brooklyn/Manhattan) was probably a lot more interesting than Stamford is going to be.
I was better at it than she was, but my mother was doing the crosswords in the Chicago Sun-Times and Sunday Tribune into her 90s. When I was "home" for Christmas, I always had to finish the Sunday puzzles for her.
--gpm
Donald J Trump
Put the poles in a lump
And has mastered the podium
To broadcast his odium.
Here's a few for the longtime althousers...
The late unlamented Downtown Lad,
Faux outrage and anger were all he had.
He'd often come over here to fight us.
We're so much better off with Titus.
Sippican Cottage
Arrested for frottage.
I can't think of any other reason
Why he hasn't been here for many a season.
Come on, people, the poem has like three rules! It's not that hard to follow all of them!
It is interesting to me that, given how simple the form is, all the most entertaining responses here are the ones that hew exactly to it instead of taking liberties.
I have a cousin who once requested poems from her facebook friends for her birthday instead of just a simple greeting. One of her brothers responded with about a dozen different ones, all in different forms, including a clerihew, which was the first time I encountered one. (They are very convenient for birthday greetings, certainly.)
Ann Althouse
Chose a spouse
Some claim he's a troll
But she seems to find him droll
Tis sad but true-
the interests of Althouse commenters be few,
despite myriad nudging tricks, they
are nothing like Paco Wové.
Donald J Trump's mind runs hither and thither
Brain waves dance to the tune of mad zither
Like a bats in the belfry and squirrels in the attic.
Mouth moves, tongue wags with words erratic.
Fixed it, thanks Michael. :)
I really miss Palladian
He'd often draw this lady in
With his wise and well-reasoned discussions
But I never answered in the comments because I was a little concerned about the possible repercussions.
Back to the Future 2
For me and for you!
As soon as I buy one
I will fly one
Chump Trump's bump
ain't much to hump
Authoritarian dilettante
Loves the voting sycophant
Cruz swore twasn't I!"
That posted naked hip and thigh
Trump bellowed a threat
"Your wife I'll get yet!"
Garage Mahal
is standing tall,
A lone loony lefty posting contrary opinions without fear
I don't think I've ever agreed with him, but I'm glad he's here.
Blogress Ann Althouse
Sometimes mentions her spouse
In her daily reports
On celebs, news, and courts
Titus:
Delight us
With more pictures of your Indian-American husband with the amazing guns. It's
Who I assume that picture in your profile is. Tits.
Evan Izer
Left us all the wiser;
Many have tried, but none can
Replace the long lost Palladian.
Althouse says echo chambers are boring
General agreement leads to snoring
Vive la différence
Succumb not to ignorance!
Chip Ahoy,
enthusiastic as a boy
filled these screens with glyphic wit
but lately wouldn't give an avocado pit.
Ann Althouse, Professor
And Meade, who impress'd her
Con-Law she unmuddies
Plus Critical Breast Studies
Amanda commentor
Many resent her
Its hopeless, you see
All succumb to me!
Liberal chick though I be
Like hanging out here, don't you see?
Making conservatives feel outrage
Such fun and frolic to rattle their cage.
Hillary Clinton,
Had Yoko Ono's clit on,
Her lips,
Now she has hips.
Donald J. Trump
Never will slump.
Hillary's low stamina
Is how he'll be slamming her.
Liberal trolls, a dime a dozen
Amber encased, your mindsets frozen,
Convinced your're on a quest for that which is true,
Most often that cage you're rattling actually encloses you.
Edvard Grieg
was fat as a peeg.
He wrote Peer Gynt,
I sure wish he dint.
(Not mine, sorry.)
EDH initials he's unwilling to hear
Voices different, relax, don't fear
Even conservatives can be wrong
Be not rigid, you may learn a new song.
Paul Ryan a conservative true blue
Today said the term "takers and makers" he will eschew
You see, Paul Ryan said he was wrong
To demonize poor folk for so long
Funny contributions.
Technically, remember, the first line should consist only of the famous person's name.
Mrs.Meade
Says the rules you must heed
Forced rhymes are often
So just keep your pants on
Paul Ryan
Is a dying
To be a president
Trump needs to relent
Ann Althouse,
Famous for taking a commenting spouse,
Tackles all topics from fashion to dogs
When she blogs.
Cath
Like Bob Boyd's poopy math
Caused meadehouse much hee haw hoo hoos
With their clever and crazy and quick clerihews
Chris Christie
Gets all misty
Hollering in the tent
Promoting Trump's bowel movement
@Ann:Technically, remember, the first line should consist only of the famous person's name.
Besides that, and AABB:
It should say what the person is famous for
While it can be silly, and maybe even satirical, it should not be vicious.
My favorite was always this one:
Ted Hughes
Sylvia's muse
Was rather good-looking,
Let his wife do the cooking.
Kasich
What a dick
Ghost of Marco
You finished quatro.
Does Kasich have a secret alliance?
With the bad man with the finance?
As questions go, it's not too deep
Sue me, I want to be veep!
Trudy Roth
Knits well she doth
Until a slub
Makes her flub.
Saint Croix says, "okay, wash my feet."
Although I got cracks and other faults to tweet
Saint Croix is brave, he has no fear
Although he did chicken out last year
Dog is good, dog is nice
Dog will protect you from Vanilla Ice
Big dog, small dog, all dogs good
Dog will rescue you if he could
Barack Obama
President-O-Rama
Voyaged on a tour ship
Of perpetual self worship
Hillary Clinton
Deserves a stint in
Prison, for her lies.
A waddling criminal enterprise!
Donald J. Trump
Stood on a stump
Throwing a fit
And shoveling shit.
Professor Ann Althouse
Larry’s her spouse.
He helps her with blogging
And the sink when clogging
Donald J. Trump,
Like him or lump,
Wants to build a huge wall;
We'll find out this fall.
Professor Ann
Says yes you can
Comment here don'cha know
And please through the Amazon portal go.
Professor Ann Althouse
Larry’s her spouse.
She writes a blog.
He walks the dog.
Pajama Boy
Didn't get that toy
He wanted- that's not fair!
Instead he got Obamacare:(
Meade
Had a need
Like an Internet stalker,
To post, many times, "Stand With Governor Walker"
Dog is messy, dog is fuss
In the parlor leaves a muss
Some people are so contrary!
For instance, that bitch Mary
Mitch McConnell, he's the man!
Gives the Brennan clerk the back of his hand
Nominate somebody who will read and follow
Or so help us, the seat stays hollow
Alt house
Is a very fine gardener's spouse
When cats come in the yard
She shoo's them from the chard
Bronson Koenig
had to rein in
his nerves for the sake of his team
Deep in the corner just net at the buzzer and presto! the Badgers — Sweet Sixteen
Mr. L. J. Spatula
ever the bachelor
Asked where'd the bodies go?
Says simply "I am Laslo"
Good Sir Archie
His language was starchy.
I propose him this toast:
Sir, I miss you the most.
Damn smartphone spell check ruined my pun.
Donald J Trump
Put the proles in a lump
Has mastered the podium
To broadcast his odium.
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