Enero 29, 2015

"You sit on what is essentially a mini-throne... and a combination of infrared and mugwort steam cleanses your uterus, et al."

"It is an energetic release—not just a steam douche—that balances female hormone levels. If you’re in LA, you have to do it."

38 komento:

rehajm ayon kay ...

If you're in LA, you have to do it

Is there any regulation that won't pass in California?

traditionalguy ayon kay ...

Perhaps this steam thing is what the Patriots used to inflate footballs with hot humid air before the officials tested them prior to games.

Curious George ayon kay ...

"The female reproductive tract does not need to be cleaned at all. In fact, methods of feminine cleansing like douching can do more harm than good."

Even douche canoes know that.

Sigivald ayon kay ...

"Cleanse" and "release" and "balances"?

All signs of 100% pure hippie BS that does nothing.

Bob Boyd ayon kay ...

Didn't the early native Americans used to do something like this in a special canoe?

Robert Cook ayon kay ...

Perhaps Ms. Paltrow is a sly, distaff James Franco, performing a long-term, ongoing performance art piece, and not at all the dizzy, dippy hippie chick--or the dupe of charlatans--her recommendations would indicate.

jr565 ayon kay ...

Will it get rid of the fish smells? Then I'm all for it.

Clyde ayon kay ...

That elevator doesn't go all the way to the top, does it?

rhhardin ayon kay ...

Camille Pagila somewhere in Sexual Personae said what the fish smell was from but I couldn't find it the last time I looked.

There's a chemical name involved.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

Steamed bearded clam?

dhagood ayon kay ...

is mugwort the essence of an ugly muggle?

Beta Rube ayon kay ...

Peter? Is this good hair care technique?

buwaya ayon kay ...

In Los Angeles the making of things is nearly regulated away, but thankfully will be replaced by personal service industries of this sort.
There will be a steamery in every strip mall, or perhaps the business works better centralized, and there will be large steam plants favored by crowds of clients.

rhhardin ayon kay ...

Google is your fish.

"Botticelli's Venus coasts to shore on the half-shell. Sexual love is a deep-sea diving into the timeless and elemental. G. Wilson Knight says, "Life rose from the sea. Our bodies are three parts water and our minds compacted of salty lusts." Woman's body reeks of the sea. Ferenczi says, "The genital secretion of the female among the higher mammals and in man ... possesses a distinctly fishy odor (odor of herring brine), according to the description of all physiologists; the odor of the vagina comes from the same substance (trimethylamine) as the decomposition of fish gives rise to." Raw clams, I am convinced, have a latently cunnilingual character that many find repugnant. Eating a clam, fresh-killed, barely dead, is a barbarous, amorous plunging into mother nature's cold salt sea."

Sexual Personae p.92

The thing to remember is that this was published by Yale U Press at the height of feminist PC, a paean to sexual difference.

walter ayon kay ...

"cleansing like douching can do more harm than good."
Even douche canoes know that.
<
They have some good songs..tended to clam up in interviews.

Not just for LA...

http://www.fastcompany.com/3041307/body-week/i-went-to-a-spa-for-my-uterus-and-this-is-my-story

Where to get it:

New York City: Juvenex Spa. $75.
Chicago: King Spa.$30.
Atlanta: Yoni Steam Spa.$120 (includes a Clay Detox Womb Wrap and Womb Reiki).
Los Angeles: Tikkun Holistic Spa.$50.
You can also purchase a do-it-yourself kit for $150 on EarthDancerWellness.com. (Of course that is the website where you can purchase a vaginal steaming kit. Of course.)

Quayle ayon kay ...

To a secular Hollywood leftist, we all evolved to our present unique and nearly-unfathomable advanced biological state, overcoming innumerable competing biological threats big and microscopic, through volcanic and ice-age periods of climate, prevailing through countless challenges to the survival of our species...

... but nevertheless, we all still need balancing and cleansing, and realignment and natural rejuvenation, which can only best be obtained for a very reasonable 4 figure price at a clinic in Beverly Hills.

And they claim WE'RE ignoring science.

HoodlumDoodlum ayon kay ...

Sounds goopy.

I'd make some "energetic release" jokes but I don't want to be though of as sexist, you know.

David ayon kay ...

Actually, you should do this in the mountains, where the temperature of steam is (slightly) less than 212 degrees.

HoodlumDoodlum ayon kay ...

I have a faint memory of news stories about people who acquired nasty brain parasites from cleansing their nasal passages with impure water. Just thought I'd toss that up there, ah, out there.

buwaya ayon kay ...

This will eventually be part of mandatory coverage in qualified medical insurance plans.

Saint Croix ayon kay ...

How much of the pro-choice movement is really just a severe case of OCD?

Smilin' Jack ayon kay ...

I'm sure I could release Gwyneth's energies without resorting to mugwart steam.

Freeman Hunt ayon kay ...

LA has the greatest concentration of fortune telling businesses I've ever seen. I think this is related.

Sal ayon kay ...

Let me add that mugwort steam is gluten-free.

Freeman Hunt ayon kay ...

Vaccine free too. No word on whether or not the mugwort is GMO.

walter ayon kay ...

On taking a retreat to Sedona, Arizona: “I’ll never forget it. I was starting to hike up the red rocks, and honestly, it was as if I heard the rock say: ‘You have the answers. You are your teacher.’ I thought I was having an auditory hallucination.”

Jaq ayon kay ...

Should have included a Rhythm&Balls tag if you are going to talk about uteri.

Sam L. ayon kay ...

Quintessential L.A.!

Larry J ayon kay ...

It seems that quite a few women think that everything revolves around their vagina. It seems they're objectifying themselves. Strange.

Wince ayon kay ...

Steam your clams!

Steamers: a New England coastal favorite.

Be sure to dip them in drawn butter before eating.

walter ayon kay ...

Well..she did get that "most beautiful" label...which I never understood...how far did "they" look?

PuertoRicoSpaceport.com ayon kay ...

Will it also steam out wrinkly labia? The Jezebel picture showed a steam iron and that was my first thought.

Special offer for the ladies: I will give you a personal upclose steaming for free. No appliances involved, 100% natural using only my hot moist breath.

Extra bonus is a gentle massage.

John Henry

PuertoRicoSpaceport.com ayon kay ...

Why is douchenozzle an insult?

I've always thought that if reincarnation is actually a thing, I'd like to come back as a douchenozzle. They serve a useful purpose and get to go somewhere good on a regular basis.

John Henry

Unknown ayon kay ...

People who speak so carelessly are annoying. Steam and live tissue don't go together well. I don't know if this is careless or just ignorant.

CatherineM ayon kay ...

I have heard it all.

LA is a weird place. I remember the Today show showing some video of Nicole Brown Simpson after her murder at a strange excercise class. The reporter had to explain that the class may seem weird (the class was walking around flailing), but this takes place in LA and is normal for LA.

SGT Ted ayon kay ...

Steam your clams!


EDH wins the thread!

John henry ayon kay ...

EDH: Is a New England steamer anything like a Cleveland steamer?

John Henry

kentuckyliz ayon kay ...

Not in LA?

Rent a Rug Doctor.

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