One of
many questions — serious questions — for the 58-year-old virgin. His answer:
I think so. I worry if I will be able to bring pleasure to my mate? Will I be a complete drag? I’m scared of getting rejected afterwards and also just not knowing what to do. I might not measure up to her expectations. I think there must be some sort of learning curve involved in it before it becomes fun. Any activity requires practice before you are really going to enjoy it.
"Do you think you have a fear of relationships as well?"
Yes. I’ve seen firsthand how bad marriage can be. So many people are just focused on their own needs. I consider myself damaged enough, emotionally, to never be able to function in a relationship. I think you need a certain amount of stability to cope with the dynamics. I can’t handle criticism and lack the social skills to relate to another person intimately. I have such low self-esteem; I can’t take it when someone says something mean to me.
That's at New York Magazine, which prompts us to check out "related stories":
"What It’s Like to Have a Micropenis" ("I don’t hate my poor little penis. It’s fine as far as I am concerned, but it’s not terribly good at getting on with the rest of the world") and
"What It’s Like to Date a Horse" ("So, she chooses to come with me, and I leave her food and she puts her head on my chest and we snuggle and I whisper sweet nothings in her ear and rub her cheeks — what she likes.").
Posts
25 comments:
Wow, how have I ever survived without subscribing to this font of wisdom?
So... A 58-year-old virgin, born in 1956, comes of age in the '70s while the sexual revolution is in full-flower, before the AIDs scare, before "yes means yes", and decides to sit the whole game out? Good. We don't need this type in the gene pool anyway. I am infinitesimally grateful for the infinitesimally greater amount of vaginal access I have enjoyed in the past forty-odd years as a result.
Sex sells.
first order and second order click bait :)
Them and Althouse
I was a little surprised at the "horse" article, given that a "horse" also means a man with a very large penis. It reads like a parody, but I don't think it actually is one.
Women = good
Men = bad
Was that last story about Matthew Broderick?
(Sorry, I don't even think SJP is that "horsey", but I couldn't help myself.)
EDH, Thanks for starting my morning with a big laugh.
"I might not measure up to her expectations."
The perfect example of what all this talk about women having an orgasm and finding pleasure in sex has brought us. Back in less enlightened times he could've just hopped in the saddle for thirty seconds and not have worried about a thing, and would've felt wonderful afterwards, rolled over to the dry side of the bed and had a fulfilling nap. Now he is sexually paralyzed by anxiety over his 'responsibilities' to the woman and her experience. And -- coincidentally -- this is how evolution brings us to the micro-penis.
I am Laslo.
"So... A 58-year-old virgin, born in 1956, comes of age in the '70s while the sexual revolution is in full-flower, before the AIDs scare, before 'yes means yes,' and decides to sit the whole game out? Good. We don't need this type in the gene pool anyway. I am infinitesimally grateful for the infinitesimally greater amount of vaginal access I have enjoyed in the past forty-odd years as a result."
Whether or not this man had sex or not has no bearing on how much "vaginal access" you did enjoy or could have enjoyed. Sex with others in not a zero-sum game.
Reading the article, it's really rather sad.
Social anxiety and fetish behaviors. Well, at least they are expanding the conversation. I wonder if a judicial decree will overcome latent fears and overt disgust. Forward.
Reading the article, it's really rather sad.
I read most of the article, couldn't finish it. Seems like being a 58-year old virgin is less of the story than that the guy turned out OK despite his childhood. Abusive father, infant brother died after being left out in the rain because his father couldn't tolerate the crying, at age 12 considered jumping out of airplane piloted by his grandfather because of the way is father was verbally abusing him (imagine the stress that pilot was under!).
No one would have been shocked if this guy would have become a serial killer of prostitutes.
They say rape isn't about the sex - I think this article isn't really about the sex either.
I am here to help.
Step One: call a discreet brothel and enquire about the least-intimidating call girl they have on staff.
Step Two: spend a week screwing up the courage to make the appointment.
Step Three: schedule three consecutive days of blow-jobs only from the least-intimidating call girl. You are paying her to give you pleasure, and -- really -- receiving a blow-job doesn't really require any experience on your part. By blow-job number three hopefully you have built up to a full minute before lift-off.
Step Four: vaginal intercourse. It may sound counter-intuitive but do NOT start with the missionary position: you are not ready for face-to-face intimacy. Doggy-style it is.
Step Five: repeat Step Four two more times, with the last being missionary position. It is probably best that you keep your eyes closed and run through multiplication tables in your head.
Step Six: anal sex. This will cost more, but it is necessary. You will learn that -- when engaging in anal sex -- women really don't want you banging away for a long time: this works in your inexperienced favor. And you now have a repertoire.
Step Seven: you are fifty-eight years old -- your options have become, sadly, more limited. Try attending funerals and look for widows that don't seem to be grieving too much. For an eighty-three year-old widow you are a Young Stud. Put your spurs on, Pardner.
I am Laslo.
Vaginal access? Sounds like a road sign
...you are a Young Stud. Put your spurs on, Pardner.
Laslo- you started out strong from the gate on the 58-year-old virgin story, but ended up trapped against the rail on the dating-a-horse story, and ended up finishing two lengths back.
Seems like being a 58-year old virgin is less of the story than that the guy turned out OK despite his childhood.
Really, you think he turned out ok? I don't . He's hurting and in a bad way. You're not ok if you can't trust yourself.
I read it.
It's really sad.
So... A 58-year-old virgin, born in 1956, comes of age in the '70s while the sexual revolution is in full-flower
I was a hostage during the sexual revolution.
Very sad story and a great example of how false assumptions about oneself, fueled by others, in adolescence can wreck an entire life. Ten minutes with the right girl and his story could have been radically different.
Sex is wildly overrated, which is a good reason for premarital sex. Get that out of the way and see how it looks then.
Napoleon was unfortunate in his choice of coroners. His coroner cut off his penis and kept it as a conversation piece. The penis was only 1.5 inches long. Perhaps the Napoleon complex refers more to his penis size than to his height, which was not notably shorter than that of his contemporaries. Maybe that was behind that whole world domination thing. If it were, it worked. Once he became the Emperor of Europe, women were willing to overlook his physical deficits. He was actively sought out by beautiful women. His wife Josephine cheated on him when he was just another general. After he became Emperor, she was never unfaithful, not even after he divorced her. Women are too venal to judge a man solely by his penis.
Favorite Woody Allen movie line from 'Play It Again, Sam," Girl on a date with Max(Woody) says: "I've been a nymphomaniac all my life, there's not a man I look at that I don't go to bed with." Max leans over and kisses her. Girl slaps him, "What kind of girl do you take me for?!"
rhhardin said...
Sex is wildly overrated...
Yes, sex is wildly overrated. Making love to someone you care about deeply, and who deeply cares about you, is wildly underrated.
Unfortunately, too few people learn the distinction.
Ignorance is Bliss:
Sexual revolution... No, progressive morality! Treat human lives as a commodity. The side-effects are predictable.
Post a Comment