Althouse: Today's wedding photos are "all about the unexpected," because: "Brides are older these days..."

January 31, 2013

Today's wedding photos are "all about the unexpected," because: "Brides are older these days..."

".... and have been to more weddings than you can shake a stick at. They’re tired of anything that feels cookie-cutter."

Plan the unexpected. People expect it these days. They are old, and they've been shaking a stick and cutting cookies for a long, long time.

47 comments:

Methadras said...: Maybe we should just be glad they got married. Congrats to them.; 1/31/13, 1:10 PM
mccullough said...: It's only rock-and-roll; 1/31/13, 1:11 PM
kentuckyliz said...: Sevier County TN on a long weekend. Get the license Friday, get married in a mountaintop wedding chapel so high up a mountain with a steep road, it takes four wheel drive to get there. Hang out in the Smokies all weekend. Go back to regular life.

$500 or less. Emphasizes the marriage over the wedding.

I find weddings ridiculous but humor those who want them. I just spent $800 on airfare, hotel, and car rental to go to my bestie's wedding in May.

Her second. I hope it's not an embarrassingly large soiree out of proportion to her age, income, and position in life. She had the big soiree for her first wedding. The guy after the guy who bought her a boob job and a Harley. Suckah.; 1/31/13, 1:13 PM
Skyler said...: Weddings are just another way to suck money out of people.

My wedding was done over video phone between my home and where I was mobilized with the Marines. Free. No fuss, no muss. My marriage is as legitimate as anyone's. No need to waste tens of thousands of dollars for a party.

The other biggest scam for wasting money is funerals. If I can find a way to die for free, I will.

I'm not cheap, I just like getting value for money.; 1/31/13, 1:14 PM
kentuckyliz said...: She showed me the pic of her trying on her wedding gown at the boutique. Strapless to show off her ink. Yes, her chest, back, and arms are covered with tats.

The times they are a changing.; 1/31/13, 1:15 PM
edutcher said...: Why did the word "sexting" or the phrase "Pier Six brawl" pop into my head when I saw the title of this post?; 1/31/13, 1:21 PM
Eric the Fruit Bat said...: I'd admire a photo of the wedding party gunning down a bunch of school kids.; 1/31/13, 1:25 PM
Anonymous said...: It's true! My daughter's Madison photographer produced some gorgeous photos. Very few pictures were posed, thereby making our family roar with laughter when we first saw them.

Grandchildren caught in cuteness and naughtiness both. Groupings of elderly female relatives kvetching while watching the wild and crazy young folks on the dance floor. Tender moments between bride and groom when they thought no one was looking. Tear streaked face of the mother of the bride (thank God I wore waterproof mascara), the wedding singer looking puzzled when the audio system failed, a bridesmaid (my other daughter) scolding her husband, that was priceless, my son in law loved that one:) the great grandma rocking of her youngest great grandchild in her arms.; 1/31/13, 1:26 PM
bagoh20 said...: If you ever see my wedding photos, I can guarantee the whole thing was unexpected.; 1/31/13, 1:28 PM
mccullough said...: MtB,

That was hilarious. Thanks; 1/31/13, 1:31 PM
KCFleming said...: My little girl is getting married this summer.

I hope she favors the fundamental over the ephemeral, and doesn't sweat the minutiae. But I'm only muttering advice here and there. Weddings are a juggernaut; best to stand aside.

After the ecstasy, the laundry, we all know. So make it joyous, but be a little more zen about it, and less Kardashian.; 1/31/13, 1:31 PM
Shouting Thomas said...: The guy after the guy who bought her a boob job and a Harley. Suckah.

Come on... I find it hard to believe that a fool of that magnitude exists on this earth!

The guy, I mean. The first one, that is. Well, the second one, too.; 1/31/13, 1:33 PM
Shouting Thomas said...: Damn kids! What do they know?

The should follow tradition and get married the way their hippies parents did.

I suggest an entirely nude affair in Golden Park!; 1/31/13, 1:45 PM
KCFleming said...: When my folks got married, and photographs were rare, each one became valuable. There are maybe 10 photos altogether; I've practically memorized them.

Now there are hundreds and hundreds of wedding pictures; a debased currency.; 1/31/13, 1:48 PM
Ignorance is Bliss said...: What, they couldn't find a mountaintop in Colorado?; 1/31/13, 1:53 PM
Hunter said...: I'm a fan of this kind of wedding photography. It's not for everyone, of course, and it can be done well or badly, of course. But we all know that wedding albums are traditionally boring. If you're paying a few grand for a photographer it makes sense to get something you'll want to show off.

Our wedding pics aren't anything as wacky or crazy as the stuff at the link, but they are more fashion-shoot looking and a notch (or ten) above what our parents and friends have. Being an advanced amateur who follows lots of photographers helps though, when it comes to hiring quality.

Most of the advancement in wedding photography these days is thanks to digital technology where it's both possible to get great images in very low light and non-cost-prohibited for the photog to snap a few thousand frames in the course of a day, neither of which was the case with film.; 1/31/13, 1:54 PM
DADvocate said...: As nuch as it's "all about the unexpected," I've yet to see a couple sing the Barny song for their vows.

i love you,
you love me.
We're a happy family.
With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you.
Won't you say you love me too.

Yeah, that would be unexpected.; 1/31/13, 1:57 PM
Hunter said...: Another thing, I am a firm believer in spending on photos and as little as possible on everything else. Our wedding was under $9k, and more than a third of that was the photographer. We have a beautiful album and zero regrets.

I would sooner recommend staging a wedding in someone's backyard and a photographer to make it look great and capture the little moments than to throw a beautiful wedding and only have crappy pictures to remember it by.; 1/31/13, 1:58 PM
Larry J said...: kentuckyliz said...
Sevier County TN on a long weekend. Get the license Friday, get married in a mountaintop wedding chapel so high up a mountain with a steep road, it takes four wheel drive to get there. Hang out in the Smokies all weekend. Go back to regular life.

My wife and I met in college. Both of us were older (non-traditional) students. We had the smallest marriage allowed by law (ourselves, two witnesses and the minister) on a Friday afternoon and were back in class the following Monday morning. Total cost was less than $200. That was 30 years ago this June. That same week, one of the big 3 news weeklies (IIRC, US News and World Report) had a cover story titled, "Big Weddings...They're Back!" I wonder how many of those couples are still together 30 years later.

The wedding is a ceremony and a party that's over in a few hours. You want the marriage to last. Focus on the marriage.; 1/31/13, 2:02 PM
traditionalguy said...: Divorce Lawyers offer the bride and groom their sincere congratulations. And here's my card.; 1/31/13, 2:02 PM
McTriumph said...: kentuckyliz said...

"Strapless to show off her ink. Yes, her chest, back, and arms are covered with tats."

That explains the Harley, instead of a Triumph. Just kidding, I'm happy for your daughter, congratulations.; 1/31/13, 2:02 PM
KCFleming said...: Weddings show how you are a sacred, unique snowflake of special unique specialness.; 1/31/13, 2:03 PM
Larry J said...: kentuckyliz said...
Sevier County TN on a long weekend. Get the license Friday, get married in a mountaintop wedding chapel so high up a mountain with a steep road, it takes four wheel drive to get there. Hang out in the Smokies all weekend. Go back to regular life.

My wife and I met in college. Both of us were older (non-traditional) students. We had the smallest marriage allowed by law (ourselves, two witnesses and the minister) on a Friday afternoon and were back in class the following Monday morning. Total cost was less than $200. That was 30 years ago this June. That same week, one of the big 3 news weeklies (IIRC, US News and World Report) had a cover story titled, "Big Weddings...They're Back!" I wonder how many of those couples are still together 30 years later.

The wedding is a ceremony and a party that's over in a few hours. You want the marriage to last. Focus on the marriage.; 1/31/13, 2:05 PM
Anonymous said...: Mc Triumph, I think that was Kentucky Liz's best friend's wedding, not her daughter's.; 1/31/13, 2:07 PM
ricpic said...: Although I suppose there's that one in a hundred guy who cares whether or not his wedding was "memorable," but this is overwhelmingly a gal thing, which means it's about scoring status points in the gal's circle. I mean it can't be about the day itself, a single day which is gone like smoke. So it has to be all about status.; 1/31/13, 2:10 PM
Anonymous said...: The money some people are willing to spend for something that will last at most a few years. What are they going to do with their subsequent weddings?; 1/31/13, 2:10 PM
Hunter said...: I would have preferred a courthouse marriage and to spend that money on an epic honeymoon (or two)! As it is, we had an awesome honeymoon anyway, but between the bride and our families, not throwing the party was not an option. Her dad paid for it, so it's not like we can complain.

If it had meant going into debt ourselves, that would have been a different story. I'd have taken the photos!; 1/31/13, 2:11 PM
Shouting Thomas said...: So it has to be all about status.

Well, yes, but what exactly is wrong with that?

Marriage is about a commitment to status, primarily a commitment to building a financial and family life together.; 1/31/13, 2:12 PM
McTriumph said...: Inga
Thank you for the clarification, I read it Betsy, not bestie. I assumed a daughter, time to wash my hands and get the Rubin grease of my glasses, tax season and eating at my desk.; 1/31/13, 2:16 PM
ricpic said...: You're right, ST, it's easy to knock status pursuit but one way or another staus is the secret ingredient in happiness or the lack thereof.; 1/31/13, 2:17 PM
Sam L. said...: I didn't when I got married a few years back. Our families and friends. No need to impress anyone.; 1/31/13, 2:18 PM
Renee said...: If a couple really loves one another and will take the marriage seriously, that's the best gift to yourselves and the guests. Weddings can have nostolgic horror stories you can laugh at years down the road, but divorces are just a horror.; 1/31/13, 2:19 PM
Anonymous said...: It's an awful custom that the bride's parents are to pay for their daughter's wedding.

The Vanderbilts paid an arm and a leg to marry their daughter off to an English Duke, Chruchill's cousin. The moneyed bride marries the titled groom. Everyone is happy.

Why do middle class parents pay for their daughter's wedding? To thank the groom for taking their daughter off their hands?; 1/31/13, 2:40 PM
Balfegor said...: Re: elkh1:

Why do middle class parents pay for their daughter's wedding? To thank the groom for taking their daughter off their hands?

I assume because weddings are more for the brides than the grooms -- I don't think many men particularly care for weddings. Many would probably be just as happy getting notarized by a judge, or having some priest intone Dearly Beloved over them in the local church.; 1/31/13, 2:46 PM
DADvocate said...: What are they going to do with their subsequent weddings?

My sister's third wedding was the most expensive of all of her's. She had money from a successful career and she married a rich guy.; 1/31/13, 3:03 PM
MadisonMan said...: Don't parents pay for it because they're hosting a party? If people are coming to see my daughter, and they're from out of town, I want them to be comfortable and victualed.

And there will be an Open Bar.

Now, if you want me to talk about the insanity of the dresses, I can do that. Why marry in a dress you use once? Why force bridesmaids into hideous confections that are worn once (unless they become subsequent Halloween Costumes).; 1/31/13, 3:06 PM
Chip Ahoy said...: At my parents house my bedroom is at the top of the stairs and it's kept pretty much as I had it.

Except, I opened the closet door and it was stuffed full with a single white dress, and I have NO idea what that is about. I did ask. My father said it belonged to my mother, she has her stuff in all the bedroom closets, every one of them, as the kids moved out she moved her crap into their closet, but Mum said it belonged to my sister and both sisters said they don't know.; 1/31/13, 3:52 PM
Lem Vibe Bandit said...: The gay weddings are unexpected... so the women are having to improvise.

or something.; 1/31/13, 5:17 PM
Kelly said...: My daughter got married last summer. We had a huge wedding planned here, until I discovered my daughters future in-laws are insane..she had been saying for awhile that they were, but seeing is believing. I gave her and her (now) husband options, a destination wedding, elopement and she and the groom could pocket the wedding money, a cruise ship wedding. They chose the cruise ship.

It was nice, not for everyone I'm sure. There were about 20 people in attendance, about ten of us went on the cruise with them. Weird going on your kids honeymoon, but it's not like we were with them all the time. The pictures were wonderful, taken over the entire seven day cruise.; 1/31/13, 5:39 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: Somewhere there is a disposable camera with a picture my neighbor took of my husband and I when we arrived home from the justice of the peace.; 1/31/13, 6:08 PM
AHL said...: ricpic said: "So it has to be all about status"

I agree. When I called both my mom and fiance a few months ago crying and begging just to have a small immediate family only affair for the marriage ceremony, they would not agree to it. But, it is remaining quite modest and we planned it in four days over winter break. The father-of-the-groom is insisting on having an open bar for the majority of the evening, in which he is paying. Now, that is definitely a status thing.; 1/31/13, 6:17 PM
I Have Misplaced My Pants said...: My wedding was at a chapel in the mountains in Idaho. There is exactly one picture of the event--the lady who played the keyboard and served as the witness snapped a picture of us standing in front of the fake tree in the corner. We exchanged plain white gold bands that we'd bought with our tax refund a month earlier. $500 total, hotel for the weekend included.

My daughters, however, will have awesome weddings if that's what they want. I dearly hope that they will get married in church, though, and that this godawful strapless dress trend will go away by then.; 1/31/13, 7:49 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: We got married, second one for both of us, at our little fair grounds in a pretty gazebo. It was an informal affair followed by a pot luck and salt crusted prime rib barbeque. Open bar provided by the bride and groom. All in a pretty outdoor setting under the trees and on the grassy field behind the "flower" building where they judge the dahlias and other blooms for the annual summer fair.

The highlight of the after ceremony party was the cattle drive down the middle of the road behind the idylic parklike setting. The mooing from the cows, the whistling from the mounted cowboys and the excited yipping of the cow dogs went on for at least 15 minutes. It was pretty unexpected.....not to mention the cow flop all over the road. We all had to stop talking because the cows were pretty loud and complaining a lot......get some more drinks [of course]....and laugh at the dogs and watch the cows.

Normal for us...but really a shocker for the relatives from the city.

We didn't know about the cattle drive. Unexpected enough?; 1/31/13, 8:52 PM
Known Unknown said...: If everyone does it is it no longer unique?; 1/31/13, 10:00 PM
Synova said...: http://althouse.blogspot.com/2012/08/engaging-in-trend-called-trash-dress.html

Thought so... from last year. Remember?

I had a cheap wedding at my home church, wore my mom's dress, got flowers from the farm for the church, nice cake but snacks instead of dinner, uncle took pictures, aunt played the music, cousin sang the song, no dance because Grandpa disapproved of dancing so it just wasn't done.

"Big" in my traditional context is how full the church is, if people in town *like* you, not how much you spent. Lots of nice pictures at the ceremony and afterward, and a sit down at the photographer's studio for portraits (which I regret because the guy talked us into a *huge* portrait and my mom and dad got stuck paying for it.)

Fun snapshots are... fun. When you're the one getting married it's all a blur so mostly I know who was there because there are snapshots of guests. I just don't get exchanging the boring group picture and romantic couple picture for something that wasn't even part of your wedding. You're not going to look at it and remember the wedding, you're going to remember the photography event. Yay!

Kids are doing the same dumb thing with senior pictures when the graduate. It's not a portrait, it's a... exposition. The person gets crowded around with all the "stuff" they decide they really like a lot and feels *defines* them when they're 17 years old so they end up only one element of the clutter.

Ugh.; 1/31/13, 11:35 PM
Unknown said...: What is the difference between the normal wedding and the wedding hosted by officiant?
grand rapids wedding minister; 2/1/13, 2:23 AM
Unknown said...: As a wedding photographer based in Ibiza, I see every time the unexpected. It´s what makes my clock tick.

Tamas
Ibiza Wedding Photography; 2/22/13, 4:26 AM