Althouse: If you're going to bury a half-million dollars in jewelry along with the dead body...

May 7, 2012

If you're going to bury a half-million dollars in jewelry along with the dead body...

... you really shouldn't tell the whole world about it. And if your solution is a round-the-clock security guard... well, why would that guy be enough to hold back the nefarious grave-robbers?

Absurd!

33 comments:

Known Unknown said...: Why bury the jewels?

Wouldn't they help pay for Bobbi Kristina's habit?; 5/7/12, 9:35 AM
Sorun said...: An interesting and rewarding job like that should attract many stellar candidates.; 5/7/12, 9:36 AM
MadisonMan said...: In the past, my family has yanked out gold teeth from corpses rather than interring them. Good old Yankee Thrift!; 5/7/12, 9:37 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "An interesting and rewarding job like that should attract many stellar candidates."

It's a dead end job.; 5/7/12, 9:38 AM
kimsch said...: This is why I insist on a cardboard box through the crematorium. I don't need any makeup or fancy dress. I especially don't want my family paying for a fancy box with a comfy silk lining.

I'll be dead. Gone. No further need for my physical body. Definitely no need for jewelry or anything my heirs could keep or sell...

Note to Whitney's family (or whoever is doing this - it sure isn't Whitney) She's not a pharaoh and nobody takes it with them...

**and even if she, while alive, said she wanted this - she's dead. You don't have to do it. She won't know.; 5/7/12, 9:41 AM
Michael said...: I'm sorry, but a wasted junkie life being buried with lots of expensive bling is everything that's screwed up about black culture. Not that whites haven't done it too, but talk about missing the point of one's own or one's relative's life.; 5/7/12, 9:42 AM
bagoh20 said...: I see the theme here today:

The world's oldest problems still unsolved.

Or, idiots continue to be put in positions of responsibility.; 5/7/12, 9:43 AM
bagoh20 said...: I can't believe anyone thinks this is a way to honor someone. It fouls the memory of her to throw away half a million dollars rather than give it to a needy cause which would honor her.; 5/7/12, 9:46 AM
Eric the Fruit Bat said...: It's only proper that a beautiful celebrity should dress nicely for the necrophiliacs.; 5/7/12, 9:47 AM
Paddy O said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 5/7/12, 9:47 AM
Paddy O said...: "throw away half a million dollars rather than give it to a needy cause which would honor her."

Sounds like the potential benefactors got stiffed.; 5/7/12, 9:49 AM
Wince said...: Call me old fashioned, but don't grave robbers tend to strike AT NIGHT!?; 5/7/12, 9:54 AM
Ipso Fatso said...: I guess she is part of the dead 1%.; 5/7/12, 10:02 AM
edutcher said...: It didn't work for the Pharaohs.; 5/7/12, 10:25 AM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: It didn't work for the Pharaohs.

Their security guard contracts expired. Otherwise....great plan!; 5/7/12, 10:34 AM
Richard Dolan said...: So who had the pharonic fixation here -- Whitney Houston or her family? And if it was the family, was there an ulterior motive in play (like keeping the franchise going)?; 5/7/12, 10:36 AM
bagoh20 said...: I suspect this resulted from not being able to resolve who else would get the bling. By default it stayed with Whitney.; 5/7/12, 10:46 AM
Rusty said...: Michael said...
I'm sorry, but a wasted junkie life being buried with lots of expensive bling is everything that's screwed up about black culture. Not that whites haven't done it too, but talk about missing the point of one's own or one's relative's life.

Fluky Stokes!; 5/7/12, 10:47 AM
John henry said...: Click through to the article and look at the pictures of the guard.

This guy really inspires a lot of confidence. He looks like he got turned down for a job at McDonalds.

He looks sort of like John Candy playing a hapless and incompetent security guard.

He is unarmed, doesn't even appear to have a radio or cellphone. No idea what he will do when I show up with a backhoe.

I can probably just feed him some Twinkies, pat him on the head and he will be my friend forever.

John Henry; 5/7/12, 11:57 AM
John henry said...: To echo what some others have said:

What the Hell is the point? What kind of scumbag was Whitney Houston (assuming that this was her idea) or her family (for letting her)?

Their money of course and if she wants to piss it away like this, that is their right.

But think how many people in Newark could have been helped by this.

They could have used that money to send some children to decent schools. Or something.

John Henry; 5/7/12, 12:01 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: It's probably to his benefit that he looks non-threatening. The robbers might not shoot him. Better to be tased and tied.; 5/7/12, 12:39 PM
Freeman Hunt said...: I thought it was funny that grave robbers were called "sickos" in the article, as though they're associated with necrophilia.; 5/7/12, 12:39 PM
Presley Bennett said...: How sad! Here we have a guy just trying to make a few bucks in this ghastly Obama economy we're all struggling with, taking whatever kind of work he can find and he ends up being laughed at because he doesn't look like a Navy Seal. But dangerous people can often appear somewhat unassuming and for all we know he's got mad ninja skills at his disposal. Or maybe not. At least he's got the day shift.; 5/7/12, 1:06 PM
Revenant said...: If you're going to bury a half-million dollars in jewelry along with the dead body...

... you have WAY too much money!; 5/7/12, 1:58 PM
Rabel said...: Is the guard's name Pat?; 5/7/12, 2:46 PM
Martin L. Shoemaker said...: For half a million dollars, a concrete case will NOT be a deterrent.

This is stupidity on a level only celebrities can afford.; 5/7/12, 3:32 PM
Mary Beth said...: Manufacture a problem to keep her name before the public. You wouldn't want CD and DVD sales to go down, would you?

Who is paying for the security guards, the cemetery, the city or the family? What proof is there that anything of value was buried with her?; 5/7/12, 4:01 PM
raf said...: Perhaps the guard is there to ensure that no one finds out that they really didn't bury the jewelry. Unreported income potential, you know.; 5/7/12, 5:01 PM
Rabel said...: That guard looks susceptible to a BB gun attack.

Wonder if you could get a buzz from smoking the grass over Whitney's grave?

From what I've seen of the family, I'd bet my bootleg Greatest Hits album, that there ain't no jewels in the grave.; 5/7/12, 5:05 PM
NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...: According to legend, Alaric, the Goth who sacked Rome, was buried by an army of slaves beneath a river with the treasure that he looted.

All the slaves were killed to hide the secret.; 5/7/12, 5:33 PM
caseym54 said...: You could put 10 poor kids through college with that. This is worse than lighting cigars with $100 bills; there at least you get to smoke a cigar. Where's Obama on this?; 5/7/12, 6:17 PM
Amartel said...: You can take it with you. It's just that you can't defend it if you do. Sooner or later someone comes along with a metal detector and a crowbar, security guard or no security guard. And maybe it will be the security guard. The Houstons are going to have to open up the coffin to get that thing out if they want her to rest undisturbed. Even so, it may be too late. Bad times are coming and someone will remember.; 5/7/12, 6:35 PM
wyo sis said...: It's their business if they want to bury her with gold. They seem to be willing to deal with the consequences. My question is "What happens when the family needs the money?" I'll bet some minds will change in a hurry.; 5/7/12, 8:13 PM