Althouse: "Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful?"

March 16, 2012

"Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful?"

"Years ago, when I was researching an article on research into stress, one social scientist passed on a simple tip: 'At some point every day, you have to say, "No more work."' No matter how many tasks remain undone, you have to relax at some point and enjoy the evening."

30 comments:

Rob said...: There is a tendency to think that things lead to happiness, as in, "I wish I had that... (house, car, etc....)" Experiences are far better happiness creators than things. Going to a concert, play or movie; listening to music, spending time with friends; traveling, going to the beach, etc....

That is my interpretation of the research on happiness.; 3/16/12, 8:55 AM
Timeforchange said...: I feel Healthy,

I feel Happy,

I feel Terrific.; 3/16/12, 8:56 AM
Henry said...: Mine is not a mantra but an activity. "Look at the sky through the trees." My two favorite times of day are early morning and early evening.; 3/16/12, 8:58 AM
Rob said...: I guess the motto would be: "Experiences are more important to happiness than things."; 3/16/12, 8:59 AM
Scott M said...: Less a philosophy than a motto or mantra, but in the lowest ebbs of my life, it has always gotten me through. When I reflect back on thinking it once times get better, it hardens my resolve for the next time life tries to sneak a 3-2 curve ball past me.

It's simply this thought, expressed however you want to phrase it. "God will never give you more than you can handle."

Simple, elegant, and immensely effective.; 3/16/12, 8:59 AM
kjbe said...: A good night's sleep and practicing acceptance. Ain't nothing like it.; 3/16/12, 9:06 AM
purplepenquin said...: I ain't sure if it is a mantra or not, but when I start feeling unhappy I remind myself that a lot of other people have it much worse than myself....helps me keep things in perspective.; 3/16/12, 9:10 AM
rcommal said...: "Refuse to accept others' mantras for what makes, or will make, or should make you happy. Reject one size fits all."
--R,L; 3/16/12, 9:16 AM
chickelit said...: Didn't Bob Dylan say that happiness wasn't a priority? link; 3/16/12, 9:21 AM
Rialby said...: "Cowboys like smoky old pool rooms and clear mountain mornings, little warm puppies and children and girls of the night"; 3/16/12, 9:29 AM
edutcher said...: The one in the post isn't bad. Leave the job at the job helps a lot.

The Blonde likes "Oh Hell, Oh Hell". It makes her laugh.; 3/16/12, 9:39 AM
SomeoneHasToSayIt said...: Happiness is the difference between what you have, and what you think you need. The smaller the gap, the happier you are.

You can narrow the gap in two main ways.

1. Convince yourself you "need" a lot, and bust your ass trying to get it, possibly succeeding.

2. Work on being satisfied with simple wants.

#2 is way easier. And here is one technique for it: "Think of something you already have (and are possibly taking for granted) and imagine how you would feel if you suddenly lost it." Works every time it's tried.; 3/16/12, 9:41 AM
Phil 314 said...: Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.; 3/16/12, 9:51 AM
KJE said...: Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emmerson, (attributed); 3/16/12, 9:53 AM
rcommal said...: The one in the post isn't bad. Leave the job at the job helps a lot.

I accept this, but there is a corollary for those whose work and home lives are enmeshed (especially by choice). Negotiate the integration to make it work for you. Embrace the complication. I have found this to be more simple than perhaps most think.

(But then, both my husband and I grew up in families whose work/business was intertwined with their personal lives. So maybe we were raised to it and so don't find it that daunting or particularly uncomfortable.

That "no one size fits all" thing again... .); 3/16/12, 9:55 AM
rcommal said...: On a "fluffier" note:

If you are a garlic lover, make sure your partner is also one.; 3/16/12, 9:56 AM
Anonymous said...: “Happiness is always a by-product. It is probably a matter of temperament, and for anything I know it may be glandular. But it is not something that can be demanded from life, and if you are not happy you had better stop worrying about it and see what treasures you can pluck from your own brand of unhappiness.” -- Robertson Davies; 3/16/12, 9:59 AM
Anonymous said...: Singing, don't worry be happy, to a calypso beat.; 3/16/12, 10:11 AM
Anonymous said...: "Is there a happiness mantra or motto that you’ve found very helpful?"

"Leave me the fuck alone."; 3/16/12, 10:43 AM
Anonymous said...: "If you knew how much you are loved, you would never cry again."; 3/16/12, 10:48 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "Mine is not a mantra but an activity. "Look at the sky through the trees." My two favorite times of day are early morning and early evening."

Meade and I were doing just that yesterday evening, lying on the front lawn. It was about 5:30, completely warm, and the light was lovely.

Then a neighbor walked by with a dog, so we got to play with the dog. Which is a fine happiness activity: Play with other people's dogs. (Don't get a dog!); 3/16/12, 11:13 AM
Ann Althouse said...: I had a mantra that I used for many years, something I'd made up. It had 4 lines. The first 2 were: The world is alive/beauty is everywhere...

I won't tell you the other 2 lines. I'd be embarrassed! The 3d line is too serious and the 4th line is too silly to belong in the group.; 3/16/12, 11:16 AM
rcommal said...: “Once the soul awakens, the search begins and you can never go back. From then on, you are inflamed with a special longing that will never again let you linger in the lowlands of complacency and partial fulfillment. The eternal makes you urgent. You are loath to let compromise or the threat of danger hold you back from striving toward the summit of fulfillment.”
― John O'Donohue, Anam Cara: A Book of Celtic Wisdom; 3/16/12, 11:38 AM
rcommal said...: “When I was little and running on the race track at school, I always stopped and waited for all the other kids so we could run together even though I knew (and everybody else knew) that I could run much faster than all of them! I pretended to read slowly so I could "wait" for everyone else who couldn't read as fast as I could! When my friends were short I pretended that I was short too and if my friend was sad I pretended to be unhappy. I could go on and on about all the ways I have limited myself, my whole life, by "waiting" for people. And the only thing that I've ever received in return is people thinking that they are faster than me, people thinking that they can make me feel bad about myself just because I let them and people thinking that I have to do whatever they say I should do. My mother used to teach me "Cinderella is a perfect example to be" but I have learned that Cinderella can go fuck herself, I'm not waiting for anybody, anymore! I'm going to run as fast as I can, fly as high as I can, I am going to soar and if you want you can come with me! But I'm not waiting for you anymore.”
― C. JoyBell C.; 3/16/12, 11:40 AM
rcommal said...: Both of those two remind me of Althouse in some way (though to be sure parts of both don't), having read here so long.; 3/16/12, 11:43 AM
Sydney said...: I take a moment to be still and try to know that He is God.; 3/16/12, 11:57 AM
Crunchy Frog said...: For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.; 3/16/12, 1:43 PM
sonicfrog said...: I have one I wrote that is more a lyric than mantra, about coming to term with things that were holding you back and letting them go:

"Yeah, this is my story.
I've done what I had to
Now it's time to move on
There's untouched places just waiting to be found
These feet are gonna shadow new ground
Yeah, It's time to move on."; 3/16/12, 2:14 PM
Joe said...: "Fuck it."

Identify the cause of the stress, decide you don't care, say "Fuck It", and move on.; 3/16/12, 3:19 PM
Nora said...: My mantra, when something bad happens is - it could be worth (and it's usually true, of course) And when good things happen, who needs a mantra.

I also like what Churchill said: "... I am an optimist - it does not seem to be much use being anything else ..."; 3/16/12, 3:25 PM