Althouse: Bill Maher's Michael Jackson-inspired hypothetical choice.

June 26, 2009

Bill Maher's Michael Jackson-inspired hypothetical choice.

An old question from 2005, linked over in the comments at Protein Wisdom.

47 comments:

bearbee said...: Why is that funny? Why do people laugh at that crap?; 6/26/09, 12:22 PM
Anonymous said...: Actually Maher likes both to be savagely beaten while being gently masturbated.; 6/26/09, 12:27 PM
The Dude said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 6/26/09, 12:31 PM
Unknown said...: This comment has been removed by the author.; 6/26/09, 12:37 PM
MadisonMan said...: I will guess that people laughed because the Applause sign came on.

Is 'masturbate' a funny-sounding word?; 6/26/09, 12:39 PM
paul a'barge said...: I demand the names of the high school students who beat the crap out of Maher.

I want to thank them.; 6/26/09, 12:54 PM
Dust Bunny Queen said...: I don't get it either. Why is that funny?; 6/26/09, 12:56 PM
grackle said...: How about savagely masturbated and gently beaten?; 6/26/09, 1:10 PM
traditionalguy said...: Was that a homophobic joke? I am not smart enough to see his point either.; 6/26/09, 1:11 PM
Jeremy said...: Oh, stop with the "what so funny about that" bullshit.

Most here can't stand Bill Maher because he's a liberal and you all know it.

Transparent wingnuttery.

And by the way, not that this is funny, but it's being reported MJ died of a nice hit of Demerol a few hours before he cashed his chips. The doctor...nowhere to be found.; 6/26/09, 1:38 PM
Ritmo Re-Animated said...: Oh my. Does all humor have to be explained? It's funny because the punch-line is unexpected.; 6/26/09, 1:49 PM
MadisonMan said...: Nothing kills a joke like having to explain it.; 6/26/09, 1:51 PM
Chris Althouse Cohen said...: Bill Maher has a long-running "joke" that it doesn't harm boys to sexually abuse them. It comes from the fact that he never got laid in high school, feels jealous of people who were sexually active at such an early age, and is too ignorant to understand why that's not something to be jealous of. And it's not funny, no matter how many times he tries to make it funny.; 6/26/09, 1:54 PM
Ritmo Re-Animated said...: I've never perceived such a long-running joke -- only when it was a physically "attractive" teacher who was doing the -ahem- molesting.

Priests, OTOH (and unlike Mary Kay LeTourneau and Co.), rarely end up in relationships with their former victims as current significant others. So he may have a point. But you might have to be heterosexual to get it.; 6/26/09, 2:04 PM
bearbee said...: Nothing kills a joke like having to explain it.

Good

Maher is a libertarian.; 6/26/09, 2:11 PM
A.W. said...: can't watch the joke but just the mention makes me remember something dennis miller said about molestation in general (he was not directing it at Jackson). "If you get to the point where you feel like you have to touch a child, just kill yourself. when you go into the afterlife, God will shake your hand and say 'Good one. Way to take one for the team.'" (that's not an exact quote but it is close)

As i said about jackson we really don't know what the truth is about those allegations. but speaking generally miller's comments make alot of sense.; 6/26/09, 2:26 PM
Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...: The whole country is becoming a theocracy

I thought that was the best joke.; 6/26/09, 2:28 PM
Chris Althouse Cohen said...: Aaron said...
can't watch the joke but just the mention makes me remember something dennis miller said about molestation in general (he was not directing it at Jackson). "If you get to the point where you feel like you have to touch a child, just kill yourself. when you go into the afterlife, God will shake your hand and say 'Good one. Way to take one for the team.'" (that's not an exact quote but it is close)

Can we take a break now and define the word "joke"?; 6/26/09, 2:43 PM
Ritmo Re-Animated said...: Dennis Miller also said that the members of the National Association for Man-Boy Love ("NAMBLA") should be castrated. After this they could change their name to the National Association... My Balls Lack Attachment. He said this would be good because then they wouldn't even need to change their name on the letterheads. See, he said? He's "always looking out for the little guy."

That was funny too.

There does seem to be a ridiculously high recidivism rate for pedophiles that makes conventional punishment problematic, to say the least.

On the other hand, a number of conscientious and law-abiding individuals I have been acquainted with have had no problem admitting to me the attractiveness which they see in certain young women who are barely through late adolescence - if that. Apparently, and fortunately for me, this is one heterosexual male foible - and, disturbingly, one much more common than is admitted to - with which I'll never identify. There comes a point when attraction simply must allow for the importance of an intellecutal/emotional/social component of maturity that nobody - I repeat, nobody's body or looks can overcome -- no matter how supposedly fecund one is presumed by virtue of those physical characteristics.; 6/26/09, 2:48 PM
A.W. said...: Chris

You point is well taken, but i assure you that miller was getting laughs when he said it. i laughed. i guess my delivery sucks or something.; 6/26/09, 2:56 PM
Paul said...: "Dennis Miller also said that the members of the National Association for Man-Boy Love ("NAMBLA") should be castrated. After this they could change their name to the National Association... My Balls Lack Attachment."

Now that's the only damn funny thing in this thread.

And Bill Maher is libertarian to about the same degree that Michael Jackson is allergic to plastic surgery.; 6/26/09, 3:05 PM
traditionalguy said...: Thanks. I get it now. He lives in Hollywood Babylon, so whats stopping him. Different strokes for different folks. Shows to go you the progress of the progressives. Forty years ago he would have been banned from TV for life.; 6/26/09, 3:08 PM
AllenS said...: An autopsy is being planned for Jackson. I wonder if the results will be whitewashed?

Yes, I am funnier than Maher.; 6/26/09, 3:08 PM
Ritmo Re-Animated said...: I don't think Maher is a libertarian - certainly not an ideologically constricted libertarian. At least not anymore. In the nineties, with his show Politically Incorrect, things might have been different.

But what is clear is that ever since his admonishment by government in the wake of 9/11, his contempt for the Bush Administration has allowed for whatever political bedfellows he could get - which probably influenced his politics as well. After all, he's a satirist first, and an ideologue... well, in some place other than first.

But take note: The traditional libertarian alliance with the GOP is no longer a foregone conclusion. Many "movement" libertarians had strong convictions against the Iraq war, and that, and Bush/Ashcroft's other actions may push for a stronger trend to "left-libertarianism" than to the traditional, "right-libertarianism".

And political identities are pretty fluid and broad. For chrissakes, Noam Chomsky fancies himself a "libertarian-socialist" - whatever that means - as nonsensical an affiliation as I could imagine. But apparently back in the day constructions like that had meaning. Even if they don't to most Americans nowadays.; 6/26/09, 3:17 PM
Shanna said...: There does seem to be a ridiculously high recidivism rate for pedophiles that makes conventional punishment problematic, to say the least.

On the other hand, a number of conscientious and law-abiding individuals I have been acquainted with have had no problem admitting to me the attractiveness which they see in certain young women who are barely through late adolescence - if that.

I think there is a huge difference in true pedophiles, who are interested in children pre-puberty, and people who start to notice a girl (or guy) who is 13/14. Certainly, that's too young for your average 40 year old, but it's not the same kind of abnormal behavior as comes from a true pedophile.; 6/26/09, 3:19 PM
traditionalguy said...: The age of 14 is a near perfect age for female attactiveness to straight breeder types like me. That's why they are Illegal (jailbait). Laws arent necessary to stop behavior no one wants to do anyway.(Jurisprudence 101). The only law that works is an enforced law. (Jurisprudence 102). The laws applied an idol like Michael Jackson in Hollywood are not these same laws.; 6/26/09, 3:46 PM
Paul said...: "And political identities are pretty fluid and broad. For chrissakes, Noam Chomsky fancies himself a "libertarian-socialist" - whatever that means - as nonsensical an affiliation as I could imagine. But apparently back in the day constructions like that had meaning. Even if they don't to most Americans nowadays.'

Noam Chomsky is first and foremost a fucking liar who never met a mass murdering dictator he didn't like so who cares what he calls himself.

The primary attribute of libertarianism is freedom from coercion. What on earth does that have to do with leftism where the individual is utterly subordinate to the collective "general will"? It's just something ignorant fools who understand neither libertarianism nor collectivism fancy to call themselves.; 6/26/09, 3:49 PM
hombre said...: I think many people would like to be able to choose between having Bill Maher savagely beaten or gently masturbated by a pop star.; 6/26/09, 3:50 PM
Fred4Pres said...: Bill Maher grew up in River Vale in Bergen County, New Jersey. Hardly the mean streets (didn't Prof. Ann live for a while as a kid in Packanack Lake, Passaic County, New Jersey? Not that far away).

Still, it is not too much of a stretch to figure Bill could have pissed off fellow classmates to end up getting a beating.; 6/26/09, 4:13 PM
Fred4Pres said...: The cause of death was food poisoning in the Michael Jackson autopsy.

They found two 12 year old nuts in his mouth.

What’s the difference between a grocery bag and Michael Jackson?

One is white, dangerous for kids to play with and is made out of plastic.
The other carries groceries.; 6/26/09, 4:16 PM
A.W. said...: Fred

that is so wrong.

funny, but wrong.; 6/26/09, 4:25 PM
Ritmo Re-Animated said...: "What on earth does that have to do with leftism where the individual is utterly subordinate to the collective 'general will'?"

One could just as easily ask what on earth conservatism has to do with waterboarding, pre-emptive invasion of sovereign countries, compelling public institutions and individuals to follow some ill-defined code of behavior dictated by "traditional values", and the like. But that would be pointless. The reason that these associations came to be had to do with the right in America being as comfortable making bedfellows with authoritarianism as socialists have been comfortable to do so elsewhere.

A knee-jerk association between "the left" in America and an abdication of individual rights, a subordination to a "collective will", may rally the troops, but it's a rather desperate talking point. The association between "the left" and individual liberties is more venerable than conservatism itself. Read John Locke for details.

As for the relationship between democracy (or as you call it, "collective will") and liberty, read Rummel. More inputs into decision-making dilutes the power of any one individual at the top. I understand this is a bittersweet realization for monarchists like Pat Buchanan. But denying the obvious relationship between democracy and individual rights would be a good way to spit on the hopes of the Iranian people in 2009, those of the Chinese in 1989, etc., etc., etc.; 6/26/09, 4:26 PM
KCFleming said...: Noam Chomsky is a "libertarian-socialist"

Actually he's an idiot savant.

__________________________
mul said "The association between "the left" and individual liberties is more venerable than conservatism itself."

Shit man, that hasn't been true for over 100 years.; 6/26/09, 4:31 PM
Ritmo Re-Animated said...: Shit man, nor has Joe McCarthy been relevant to American politics for over 50 years.

Someday you'll catch up.; 6/26/09, 4:54 PM
Paul said...: "Shit man, that hasn't been true for over 100 years."

At least.

It's pointless arguing with these morons because they are operating under so many erroneous assumptions from years of brainwashing that one doesn't even know where to begin. When John Locke is offered as an example of man of the left you might as well just hurry across the street to get away from the deranged individual as quickly as possible.; 6/26/09, 4:59 PM
Ritmo Re-Animated said...: "It's pointless arguing with these morons because they are operating under so many erroneous assumptions from years of brainwashing that one doesn't even know where to begin. When John Locke is offered as an example of man of the left you might as well just hurry across the street to get away from the deranged individual as quickly as possible."

Translation: I don't really have a point to make or a rebuttal so instead of arguing facts and reason I'll just find new ways to insult my opponent that are just as inventive as the lies I make up about his position and what it is based upon. Not very original. But still inventive.

And Paul, I can describe Chomsky's position without agreeing with him - let alone liking him. Just so you know, asshole. (Or was "moron" the fashionable term of art?); 6/26/09, 5:58 PM
somefeller said...: "Shit man, that hasn't been true for over 100 years."

Yes, doesn't everyone know that the civil rights movement, the women's rights movement, the gay rights movement, and pretty much every movement in recent American history that expanded the civil liberties of previously-oppressed members of the American populace were all led by and supported primarily by the self-described conservatives of their era? Must be that liberal media getting the story wrong again.; 6/26/09, 6:43 PM
somefeller said...: By the way, Althouse, what the hell were you doing spending time around the comments sections at Protein Wisdom? I realize summer is a lazy time in the academic calendar, but come on!; 6/26/09, 6:45 PM
Jeff Tompkins said...: Maher's a lot like Coulter: both are pretty much just provocateurs. Shocking people by saying outrageous things turns out to be a pretty effective marketing gimmick. I can't imagine anyone taking either of them seriously.; 6/26/09, 6:48 PM
Anonymous said...: Well, except Coulter is actually funny.

And any guy upset that Obama isn't nationalizing health care fast enough is NOT a Libertarian of any sort.; 6/26/09, 7:47 PM
rcocean said...: Maher is about as stupid and vulgar as they come. "Dogface Boy" Maher simply shows the truth of the old cliche:

"No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American Public"

Of course, he performs a public service in a way. His fan base of brainless, lonely nerds gets to live vicariously though him.; 6/26/09, 8:24 PM
Ann Althouse said...: "By the way, Althouse, what the hell were you doing spending time around the comments sections at Protein Wisdom? I realize summer is a lazy time in the academic calendar, but come on!"

I check Site Meter and I see where my blog traffic is coming from. Enough came from there to make me click over to see why.

I don't hang out there. Somebody linked to me.; 6/27/09, 7:11 AM
Kansas City said...: I can't stand Maher, but he is sometimes funny, and sometimes more honest than others. I'm a little embarassed by it after reading the other comments, but I thought the line was funny. It was just a joke; he did earlier say that he agreed it was wrong and thought Jackson was guilty.; 6/27/09, 10:20 AM
Kansas City said...: I just read the instructions above the comment window. In the context of this site (which is not idealogically one sided), what is a "troll?"; 6/27/09, 10:22 AM
Paul said...: "Translation: I don't really have a point to make or a rebuttal so instead of arguing facts and reason I'll just find new ways to insult my opponent that are just as inventive as the lies I make up about his position and what it is based upon. Not very original. But still inventive. "

No.

It IS pointless. I have a million points of rebuttal to make but it's Sisyphean task that I've foolishly engaged in in the past with brainwashed idiots like yourself...a waste of time and energy. You're too stupid and intellectually corrupted to be reasoned with so I'm simply electing to walk away.

I will however suggest you read "A Conflict Of Visions" by Thomas Sowell for a primer on political philosophy and the fundamental distinctions that divide the "left" and "right" in modern America in order to disabuse yourself of ignorant notions of what those labels actually stand for in terms of their pedigree, assumptions of reality and human nature, etc.

Not that I expect you will. I think intractable stupidity is your fate. Too much inertia.; 6/27/09, 10:51 AM
Ann Althouse said...: "I just read the instructions above the comment window. In the context of this site (which is not idealogically one sided), what is a "troll?""

The beauty of these instructions — appreciate it! — is that you can follow them without a definition of "troll" from me or from "this site" in general.; 6/27/09, 3:48 PM
bluestatedad said...: Everything Maher said was correct. Nothing Michael Jackson was accused of would've even been a crime in sexually liberated countries like Spain, Japan or South Korea where the age of consent is 13. People in this country need to lose this idiotic notion of adolescents being the same as children, and pretending that they are as pure as the driven snow.; 6/27/09, 10:54 PM