Marso 10, 2009

False Apology Cards.



(Via Language Log.)

28 komento:

Issob Morocco ayon kay ...

Dick Durbin's got an Apology Card store in the Wrightwood district of Chicago and has a delightful section for Military Apologies (" Durbin went to the Senate floor late Tuesday to offer his apologies to anyone who may have been offended by his comparison of treatment of detainees at the U.S. military base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba, to Nazis, Soviet gulags and Cambodia's Pol Pot."-Fox News.).

Dick Durbin, before he dicks you.

Parker Smith ayon kay ...

I'm sorry you believed me when I promised to make entertaining blog comments.

MadisonMan ayon kay ...

Sold out in Washington DC.

rhhardin ayon kay ...

Erving Goffman on what an apology is.

Darcy ayon kay ...

LOL! I knew someone (briefly) who would probably send all of these cards.

And a good reminder not to say "I'm sorry you feel that way". It definitely is a cop out.

Fred4Pres ayon kay ...

I am sorry you are too stupid to get it!

Kenneth L. Reich ayon kay ...

I love these kind of cards. It reminds me of fortune cookies. Like "I'm sorry" cards, I hate the meaningless words in them. I always wanted to get a fortune that said something like "You have twelve hours to live-- enjoy yourself!" or "Your mother always liked your brother better" or "You are in danger of losing everything" or "The soup was poisoned"

You get the idea. Anyway, a truthful card would at least give me a laugh since whatever you did to me didn't.

Tibore ayon kay ...

Goddammit Kenneth! I was going to bring those up!

Mutter mutter grumble, beat me to the punch, bitch moan...

ricpic ayon kay ...

It's like liberals, who are always saddened by the lack of higher consciousness in the benighted who disagree with them.

Shanna ayon kay ...

I always wanted to get a fortune that said something like "You have twelve hours to live-- enjoy yourself!" or "Your mother always liked your brother better" or "You are in danger of losing everything" or "The soup was poisoned"

I love the Simpsons when they were out of the “you will find happiness with a new love” fortune cookies and had to put out the “go back to your wife” ones.

Chip Ahoy ayon kay ...

I made a false pease be upon you card that I never sent. It has several articulations, peas be upon you, piss be upon you, peace be a pond ewe, etc. This variation on the theme is a triple pager.

Chip Ahoy ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
dbp ayon kay ...

This is what a real apology sounds like.

ricpic ayon kay ...

Peace be a pond ewe:
An image of bliss:
Knee deep in water
A lamb taking a piss.

KCFleming ayon kay ...

Sociopaths make the most believable apologies and expressions of regret.

Lem Vibe Bandit ayon kay ...

To the group meeting counselor.

I’m sorry I drank over the weekend... as you are about to pea in a cup that he has to witness.

True story.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

The old gag of adding "in bed" to the end of your fortune works really great with "Your mother always liked your brother better".

Cabbage ayon kay ...

you could always give some Mean Cards http://www.juliannaholowka.com)

El Presidente ayon kay ...

http://www.cardjackers.com/sorrycards1.html

I'm so totally sorry . . .
I used you for sex.

I put you on the internet.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

I'm sorry I called it date rape.

Your positive psychology people have already explained:

he was firm and polite, she malleable and unrefined.

veni vidi vici ayon kay ...

"I made a false pease be upon you card that I never sent. It has several articulations, peas be upon you, piss be upon you, peace be a pond ewe, etc."

And now, "appeasement be upon you."

Lem Vibe Bandit ayon kay ...

"I'm sorry Dave, I'm afraid I can't do that."... "I know that you and Frank were planning to disconnect me, and I'm afraid that's something I cannot allow to happen."

Althouse's toaster when Fairbanks tried to put a fork in it.

Penny ayon kay ...

Blogger Pogo said...

Sociopaths make the most believable apologies and expressions of regret.


They do, Pogo! Of course this is exactly why receivers of these cards need to look for humor instead of psycopathy. I think?

michael farris ayon kay ...

I'm very sorry I had to spend time, effort and money to get this card to try to appease your unforgiving ass.

Methadras ayon kay ...

I'm sorry your arrogance, ego, and pretension have driven me spend my hard earned dollars on an item that conveys a sentimentality that I don't mean, much less care to spend in iota of my time to tell you to fuck off in a nice way anyway. Thank you.

AlphaLiberal ayon kay ...

"I'm sorry your such a conflicted and contradictory sack of shit."

Save the zygotes!
Bomb some country full of non-white people far far away!

Be moral!

Penny ayon kay ...

Ok, I have to look HARD for some humor in given responses.

Still diggin' though!

Freeman Hunt ayon kay ...

Bomb some country full of non-white people far far away!

Ha ha ha. A liberal tries the "you don't care about non-white people" line. You mean like thinking non-white people don't want to be free? Or thinking it's cool and authentic when non-white people live in squalor in other countries? Or that non-white people can never be expected to meet the same standards as white people? All those racist, liberal tropes?

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