Nobyembre 9, 2008

Mariah Carey tells the world that she waited until after the wedding to have sexual intercourse with Nick Cannon, her second husband.

Link. Possible responses:

1. You're 38 and it's your second marriage, no one cares about your pretentious chastity, and this is lame publicity seeking.

2. When you're old enough to be jaded about everything, this is a great way to make your wedding exciting.

3. She may be a publicity hound and she may even be lying, but she has influence over some people, and I love seeing her use it this way.

4. No one cares, and it just embarrassing to act like she thinks anyone cares.

5. Hey, why can't I have an adorable husband with a cool name like Nick Cannon?

26 (na) komento:

AllenS ayon kay ...

Maybe they didn't have sexual relations. Maybe they only practiced oral sex. Don't you remember the rules of the game?

ricpic ayon kay ...

I was going to post that Nick Cannon, er...relieved himself with other ladies during the engagement period, but Allens is probably closer to the truth.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

5. Hey, why can't I have an adorable husband with a cool name like Nick Cannon?

When I was a kid I wanted to be a cool guy named Rock Granite. With shades I walk into the bar..."I'll have the usual and put it in a dirty glass. Pronto."

Meanwhile I was like 11 years old.

6. You are engaged to a black guy and figured if he could "f" you before marriage then the wedding would be canceled.

AllenS ayon kay ...

Maybe they didn't have sex, because one of them, or both of them, had a herpes flairup.

AllenS ayon kay ...

Which would rule out comment #1.

paul a'barge ayon kay ...

Hey, why can't I have an adorable husband with a cool name like Nick Cannon

You had a husband, and had children by him. What happened to that? Was his name not cool?

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

"Maybe they didn't have sex, because one of them, or both of them, had a herpes flairup."

Funniest and most likely.

Bissage ayon kay ...

You can search eBay all you want but you will never find the blood-stained bed sheet from their honeymoon.

I’ve got it and it is not for sale.

Next Halloween, I will go trick or treating.

Ann Althouse ayon kay ...

She's clear in the linked article: "It's not that we had no intimacy, we just didn't have complete intimacy."

I consider that too much information. I should have had a fifth possible response: No one cares about your branching out into an additional sexual practice.

Ann Althouse ayon kay ...

Paul, settle down. It's a "possible" response.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

Bissage:
"You can search eBay all you want but you will never find the blood-stained bed sheet from their honeymoon.

I’ve got it and it is not for sale.

Next Halloween, I will go trick or treating"

Okay, yours is the funniest but allens is still most likely.

AllenS ayon kay ...

Damnit, Lars it's AllenS. Blogger comment format sucks.

Ben (The Tiger in Exile) ayon kay ...

"Cannon was born in San Diego, California, to 17 year old accountant Beth Gardner (née Hackett), and James Cannon"

So the mom at 17 was an accountant and had already picked up a husband with whom marriage had obviously failed b/c she was having children with another man.

Wow -- they work quick in San Diego...

Darcy ayon kay ...

Geez, paul. What an asshole comment.

As for Mariah Carey...yeah, TMI.

Jennifer ayon kay ...

6. I suppose that explains why you got married like a month and a half after you started dating...?

Radish ayon kay ...

My sister married her first husband so they could have sex without feeling guilty about it. But she was 19. You do stupid things when you're 19.

chickelit ayon kay ...

Divorce is contagious

Palladian ayon kay ...

I wonder if she presented him with a contract rider for the honeymoon suite specifying a bottle of Roederer Cristal champagne and a box of "bendy straws".

Maybe Nick Cannon was the "fresh fruit, washed and uncut".

Ron ayon kay ...

Women want to marry Nick Cannon, but eventually settle for Fred Blunderbuss. Sad, really.

Trooper York ayon kay ...

Hey it least she didn't marry Rick Derringer.

He wouldn't be able to touch the sides.

Trooper York ayon kay ...

Plus as I understand it, Mariah has a remarkably smelly twat.

So he was just praticing holding his breath.

Susan ayon kay ...

Maybe it took them 2 months to get her out of those sausage casings she calls clothes.

blake ayon kay ...

Mariah who?

They used to call the wind "Mariah", I'm told. Not sure why that is.

Shawn Levasseur ayon kay ...

My response:

A boast of one's chastity reveals a lack of modesty. I thought the same when Brittany bragged of her virginity years ago.

Ralph L ayon kay ...

I hope that photo of him has been retouched, cuz baby ain't got back. Or thighs.

Trooper York ayon kay ...

No, they used to say the wind smelled like Mariah.

But that was only down by the Fulton Fish Market.

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