Hunyo 6, 2008

I apologize to the flies... and taunt bees.

Okay, okay, I get it. The "cute bee" is not a bee at all. It's a hoverfly. So flies can be cute, and it's not proved at all that bees are cute. They are ruthless killing machines. They are the devil. They are naughty. I get it! I apologize to the flies.

And when a bee dies? (Be aware — bee, aware — that there are a couple flashes of naked bottoms in this hilarious Ricky Gervais clip with Karl Pilkington talking about a dead bee.)



I think I could write a good childrens book called "I Apologize to the Flies" if you would just help me figure out an equivalent rhyme for about 20 other insects.

51 komento:

wgh ayon kay ...

If you go down to Willow Farm
to look for butterflies
gutterflies
flutterbyes

Ann Althouse ayon kay ...

Thanks, but my requirement of an "equivalent rhyme" is rigid. It should be one sentence that begins with "I" followed by a verb that rhymes with the name of the insect and ends with the name of the insect. And very few words in between.

Ron ayon kay ...

I failed to please the bumblebees!

Bissage ayon kay ...

I focused on the locust!

wgh ayon kay ...

I think Doug ate a sting bug.

wgh ayon kay ...

Oops.. stink bug =)

AllenS ayon kay ...

I think it all started with this:

"Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee."

AllenS ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
AllenS ayon kay ...

Italian:

"I'ma likea you pupa."

bearbee ayon kay ...

I debugs bedbugs.

I hugs ladybugs.

Sisyphus ayon kay ...

The caterpillar is a thriller.

Or

The caterpillar is just filler [picture of caterpillar in a happy, cute bird's mouth].

Bissage ayon kay ...

I needle the Japanese beetle!

Ann Althouse ayon kay ...

I wheedle things from a beetle.

AllenS ayon kay ...

I have ants in my pants.

Bissage ayon kay ...

I spy the blue-tail fly!

Was that taking poetic license or just plain cheating?

Well, Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care!

Cedarford ayon kay ...

You are what you eat.

Bees start off as happy little grubs safe in wax honeycombs eating wonderful pollen and nectar from flowers.

Flies start off as writhing maggots eating turds and rotting flesh.

bees=good (except killer bees)
flies=disgusting

Whereas, by my logic, people should stop eating delicious lobsters and other scavangers of rotting animal matter like king crabs and crawfish.

(There's a little bit of lost Alaskan Bering Sea fishermen and sailors in every bite of king crab you eat, or their forebearers...Everytime a good cyclone or Tsunami sends tens or 100s of thousands of bloated dead people and dead livestock out to the Indian Ocean, the crab catch next year is excellent.)

Jeremy ayon kay ...

I reproach the cockroach.

vbspurs ayon kay ...

List of official US States insects

(Americans are too wonderful!)

Guess what? Wisconsin's official insect is the European Honeybee!

Florida's the Zebra Longwing Butterfly. I've seen them many times without ever knowing its name. Vladimir Nabokov would've been appalled at me.

Oh, yeah, the rhyme, let's see.

"I, Titus, the mantis"

I'll work on it.

Cheers,
Victoria

AllenS ayon kay ...

I plea to the flea, don't bite me.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
Zachary Sire ayon kay ...

While they might not give you rabies, it's best to stay away from scabies.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
Zachary Sire ayon kay ...

Oh, and in case there was any doubt about the danger of bees, everyone needs to watch this.

And don't laugh while you're watching it! It's terrifying.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
Jennifer ayon kay ...

I am innocent. Katydid it.

bearbee ayon kay ...

I despise flies.

I tease fleas

I appease bees

Keith ayon kay ...

Trade pleasantries with flees and bees.

complain, I shant, around an ant

I shall not spat with any gnat

Good night I'll wish to the silverfish

warmly approach a nice cockroach

But stay incognito around a mosquito

vbspurs ayon kay ...

"I shall not spat with any gnat"
"But stay incognito around a mosquito"


LOL! *applause*

Palladian ayon kay ...

Jesus it's like being in a room full of Noël Cowards.

Palladian ayon kay ...

Off-topic, but this is scary. It's like going to Wal-Mart and finding the building shuttered and abandoned.

vbspurs ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
vbspurs ayon kay ...

Off-topic, but this is scary.

I fought back, a DNS attack.

Bissage ayon kay ...

I flick a crawling tick!

Palladian ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
Palladian ayon kay ...

Amazon doesn't get shut down by DNS attacks! I've never seen it down before!

Anyway, for posterity.

vbspurs ayon kay ...

Palladian, I love your monitor wallpaper!!

I'm totally serious, where did you get it?

(My God, you ARE gay, though)

Palladian ayon kay ...

There's nothing gay about appreciating beauty, my dear.

And given your heritage I thought you might recognize it. It's the ceiling of David Garrick's 5 Royal Terrace in the Adelphi in London, designed by Robert Adam, now in the Victoria (ahem) & Albert Museum.

rcocean ayon kay ...

Don't be bossed by a Wasp

Don't go into debt with a Hornet

There's no fee with a bee.

Henry ayon kay ...

I froth the moth.
ticket the cricket
slip on the thrip

MadisonMan ayon kay ...

I'm contrite towards the mite

people should stop eating delicious lobsters and other scavangers of rotting animal matter like king crabs and crawfish.

One of my favorite scenes in Have His Carcase by Dorothy L. Sayers has all the hotel managers at a seaside resort telling the chefs to take crab off the menu for two weeks after a coroner's inquest for a man whose face had been disfigured by various sea crustaceans.

ricpic ayon kay ...

Guy Praying Mantises
That make passes at
Gal Praying Mantises,
With or without glasses,
Take BIG chances.

Mr. Forward ayon kay ...

I preach to the leech.

Mr. Forward ayon kay ...

I got tipsy with the moth, Gypsy.

Mr. Forward ayon kay ...

I had to snore, she was an ash borer.

Mr. Forward ayon kay ...

I mite.

Zachary Sire ayon kay ...

Sort of off-topic...I just wrote a very important post, here, about bees...which was inspired by Ann's post yesterday, of course.

blake ayon kay ...

A stumper.

I believell the weevil.
I explider the spider.
I prayphid the aphid.

Dr. Seuss knew that it was best to make up nouns for rhyming purposes.

I pummel and kick at the camel cricket.

I'd stop and flop for a lepidoptera.

I'd give first aid to a cicada.

I've planted a mantid.

I dig an earwig.

I'd never fail a bristletail.

I complain about the red Vulcain.

I despise the betrayals of the common swallowtails.

I'd park with a monarch.

(OK, I'm heavy on the butterflies.)

vbspurs ayon kay ...

There's nothing gay about appreciating beauty, my dear.

There is not indeed! But there is perhaps in speaking about it without shame.

And given your heritage I thought you might recognize it. It's the ceiling of David Garrick's 5 Royal Terrace in the Adelphi in London, designed by Robert Adam, now in the Victoria (ahem) & Albert Museum.

Palladian, I absolutely adore Robert Adam fireplaces. Excellent taste!

But I confess, and as a Historian this makes me wilt in shame, I really dislike the hodge-podge dotty quality of the V&A.

It makes me nervous somehow...

Cheers,
Victoria

Palladian ayon kay ...

"I really dislike the hodge-podge dotty quality of the V&A."

Yes, but they have an absolutely marvelous collection. There's a few medieval pieces from the V&A collection here in New York at the Metropolitan Museum right now, loaned out since part of the V&A is getting a face-lift.

I like Adam quite a bit, although I do sometimes see Horace Walpole's point when he remarked after a visit to Carlton House: "How sick one shall be, after this chaste palace, of Mr Adam's gingerbread and sippets of embroidery."

Palladian ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.

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