Mayo 24, 2008

Cookie exudes confidence.

Cookie exudes confidence

29 (na) komento:

Trooper York ayon kay ...

What you are supposed to do is at the end of reading your fortune cookie you should add the words:

In bed.

Works every time.

wgh ayon kay ...

I don't need that kind of pressure, cookie!!!!!

Ron ayon kay ...

That cookie's watched too much Oprah!

Joe M. ayon kay ...

Is that confidence, or merely an expression of disappointment and failure? "You should be able to undertake and complete anything you desire--but you can't."

Joe M. ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
Joe M. ayon kay ...

Here you go, Trooper.

Trooper York ayon kay ...

Hey Joe what can I say. I am an optimist.

rhhardin ayon kay ...

Kroger on Thursday introduces a line of patriotic cookies for the red states.

Don't look for them in Madison.

Trooper York ayon kay ...

Well Madison does have very good Cheese Doodles.

Ron ayon kay ...

from The Comments That Time Forgot:

Hitler faced the upcoming Russian Campaign, buoyed by the confidence his fortune cookie gave him.

Trooper York ayon kay ...

Harry Hinkle: Of course he's upset. He's a lawyer - he's paid to be upset.
(The Fortune Cookie, 1966)

Trooper York ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
George M. Spencer ayon kay ...

It takes much grinding to turn an iron bar into a needle.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

Man is finite; the cookie is lying.

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

NPR interviewed a woman who wrote about the history of the fortune cookie: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19200355

The fortune cookie producers were pressured by restaurant managers to print upbeat messages after patrons complained about ambiguous or potentially negative messages. . . .

Clint ayon kay ...

I think negative fortune cookies would be hilarious.

Maggie Goff ayon kay ...

I'm resisting an urge to brush those crumbs away.

vbspurs ayon kay ...

Heh. I first heard that "in bed" add-on from Ruth Anne here. Works like a gem every time.

BTW, does anyone else collect fortune cookies? I have a bag of them, from every delivery I've had since 2002.

Because of the Lotto Numbers, you see.

Cheers,
Victoria

Ruth Anne Adams ayon kay ...

That fortune is for funeral directors only.

Chip Ahoy ayon kay ...

*You are soon to be audited

*A lock is recommended for your fuel tank

*That wasn't pork.

*Did you see the kitchen in this place?

*Your faith in polls is ill-founded.

*Dry weather and high winds create fire hazard

*Be mindful of your emergency brake, and turn your tires inward. There's a lot of hills around here.

*Enjoy yourself, it doesn't get any better than this.

*Your education doesn't suit you.

*Neglect your food taster at your own hazard

*Ignore those vermin, they're not important

*This restaurant scored poorly on its inspection.

*Your chef is experiencing personal difficulties

*Your waiter has herpes.

*If you must, use the bathroom next door.

*Your daughter will run an escort business.

*Your son will open a shop on Castro St.

*Your boss finds your wife attractive.

*The stock you felt compelled to sell will soon split.

*The city will soon seize your property under eminent domain.

*Fortune cookie writers are on drugs.

*You should have had an Oreo. ®
*Your youngest is growing pot in the basement.

*Your office is relocating.

*Please make Chip stop.

vbspurs ayon kay ...

Chip, how about some blogger fortune cookie suggestions?

- You will be Instalanched

- Your faith in Ace of Spades shall be rewarded

- Your banning from Kos for referring to Armando will be swift

- You don't know Jac

...any others?

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

Omigosh. Was Hillary Clinton seen eating Chinese food?

knox ayon kay ...

funniest thread evah

blake ayon kay ...

I remember one of the iterations of "The Twilight Zone" (not the original) had a guy in some sort of Chinese Restaurant of the Damned (aren't they all), and he had a fortune cookie that read:

You are going to die.

Which sounds scary until you realize it's pretty much the only guaranteed true fortune there is.

vbspurs ayon kay ...

Was Hillary Clinton seen eating Chinese food?

Don't be silly, Michael. Only Bill Clinton eats out.

TexasPatrick ayon kay ...

Best fortune I ever got from a cookie: "Beware of worthless wisdom."

Yeah. My internal irony-o-meter was painfully sore for a week. I couldn't even stand minor amusing hypocrisies without having to sit down . . . .

Jacob ayon kay ...
Naalis ng may-ari ang komentong ito.
Jacob ayon kay ...

Adding "in bed" is funny but I think this suggestion is even better...

Jacob ayon kay ...

And now I see Joe already posted this link. Oops.

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