ADDED #1: Hey, I made it home. No flight delays, but you should have seen how buried my car was. Well, you will see, because I took pictures. Anyway, I can see you're way ahead of me talking about this. 29 comments as I start. But the TiVo is running, and I've seen the really charming Errol Morris film that kicked things off. A sweet, self-effacing attitude. And now, here's Ellen DeGeneres, continuing the sweet, charming, self-effacing tone. She's wearing a dark red velvet tuxedo -- with white shoes -- and looks very sharp. Her first joke makes me laugh. She has a nice joke about Americans not voting for Jennifer Hudson (on "American Idol") and then how they did vote for Al Gore. For no apparent reason, a gospel choir comes out and Ellen dances and plays tambourine. Now, for the first award, for Art Direction, and it's Nicole Kidman, looking very Barbie-like, all plastic-y and shiny. She's wearing an impossibly tall, thin red dress, with a knot at the side of the neck. The award goes to "Pan's Labyrinth."
ADDED #2: They didn't start with a supporting acting award. Good! Now, there's a comedy song, and I'm using it as a chance to try to catch up with you guys. On to the next award: makeup! Again, with the "Pan's Labyrinth." The makeup did look pretty cool. Ooh, now it's Abigail Breslin and Jaden Smith. Kids. They're short, so they do the nominees for shorts. Sorry, it's another fast-forward opportunity.
ADDED #3: Wow, you guys are up to 43 comments. I'm desperately trying to catch up with you. Ooh, it's Rachel Weisz. She looks just great in a strapless beige dress that has a nice jeweled swirl across the chest. I like her dark red lipstick and piece-y dark brown hair. She's doing the Supporting Actor award. Aw, Eddie Murphy looks like he really wants to win. It's Alan Arkin. My favorite. I love this guy. He puts the Oscar down on the floor so he can pull out his speech. The film -- "Little Miss Sunshine" -- can help us in our "fragmented times." It's a choice not to act out the speech. Surely, he could have memorized it. Maybe he was acting the part of a guy reading a speech.
ADDED #4: Melissa Etheridge performs the song from "An Inconvenient Truth," and then out come Leonardo DiCaprio and Vice President Al Gore. Al looks happy (and carries his great weight well). Leo asks him if he's got anything he'd like to announce. He says he's "just here for the movies." He thanks Leo for being "such a great ally" in his anti-global-warming efforts. Leo's all "thank you, sir," and the camera -- pretty randomly -- goes to Jerry Seinfeld, who's caught looking like this:
Cameron Diaz, who also has piece-y dark brown hair, gives the award for animation to "Happy Feet," and she's unbearable cutesy and phony. Nice clip show about movies about writers. At the end, we see Jack Nicholson -- who was featured in the clips for both "The Shining" and "As Good As It Gets" -- and he's shaved totally bald. (A tribute to Britney Spears?)
ADDED #5: "The Departed" wins Best Original Screenplay. Hey, you guys are up to 75 comments. I'm still not reading them, because I'm trying to catch up. I'm sure it's all clever and stuff. There's a great commercial for American Express -- must be a Jerry Seinfeld thing, explaining the "random" shot noted above. And a beautiful ad for iPhone... of lots of hellos from movies. (No need to convince me to buy one of those things when they are available, so the commercial seems to just be about getting me more excited about it.) They're doing the costumes award now. "Marie Antoinette" wins. Tom Cruise presents the Jean Hersholt "humanitarian" award to Sherry Lansing. We're in the depressing "dead" center of the show now, so let me regale you with pix of my car, as I encountered it after my long trip home. It was in this deep:
And here's how it looked after digging just enough of a space to back it out:
How did I get it dug out? Am I the kind of person who keeps a shovel in the trunk? No, but as I was walking to the car, dreading seeing how locked in it was, I ran across a woman with a shovel, and she loaned it to me. Then, carrying a shovel, I attracted a man who helped me because he needed a shovel and a second man who had his own shovel. These two guys dug out the snow while I scraped the windows and lights. (I do keep a scraper!) And I was out in no time. And don't just say: Guys! Because there was also that woman with the shovel. I asked her, "Do you work here?" And she said no, she just drove over with a shovel because a friend called her up, and she trusted me to return the shovel to a spot in the snow that we agreed on. I left that trust with Guy #1 and I'm sure he kept it.
ADDED #6: Speaking of movies, I got my little movie up at last in the previous post. You can hear me and my long-time ex-husband RLC talking about things seen in a record store window. Whoa! You guys are up to 119 comments! Okay, I've gotta rush. Visual Effects. Doesn't Naomi Watts look lovely in that yellow-gold, strapless dress with a thick black band under the breasts? "Pirates of the Caribbean" wins. Now, we see Catherine Deneuve for... what the hell is this? Ah! There's Sacha Baron Cohen in the audience. He's so adorable! "Best Foreign Language Film. "The Lives of Others." Oooh! It's George Clooney. He's handsome! Best Supporting Actress!!! Jennifer Hudson!!!!! She says: "Look what God can do!"
ADDED #7: It's Jerry Seinfeld. He's doing the Documentary award. Oh, so they showed him before when Al was on stage because later he was going to present the award for which Al is nominated. Seems too fix-y to me. And Al wins the Oscar!!!!! Closeup of the oh-so-pleased Steven Spielberg. Why did they make the film? Because of the problem of global warming??? Oh, no: "We were moved to act by this man." So says the director, reaching over to touch the hem of Al Gore's garment. He's gasping with awe. It's kinda embarrassing. He pumps the Oscar weirdly twice in Al's direction and he says "We share this with you." The camera goes to Larry David, clapping righteously. Now, Gore speaks: global warming is "not a political issue, it's a moral issue." I like Al. He makes his wooden squareness hip and cool.
ADDED #8: Kirsten Dunst is wearing a beautiful, witty dress. It's gray and has a see-through section at the top with a collar that seems to belong on a prim blouse. It's intelligent. And the dress makes me love Kirsten! The award is Original Screenplay, and it goes to "Little Miss Sunshine." Now, we see Jennifer Hudson sing a song, which must be fun for her, having already won the Oscar. I try to imagine how Simon Cowell would detect deficiency. Beyonce joins her, and -- isn't it true? -- Beyonce is the better singer. Does Beyonce feel she needs to prove her superiority?
ADDED #9: There's a Michael Mann montage about "America." We're racist war mongers, you know. Then the elegant Thelma Schoonmaker wins the editing award for "The Departed." Now, we see Jodie Foster, dragging excess yards of slate-blue fabric along with her. But she's introducing my favorite segment, In Memoriam. I'll impolitely name the ones that had the most effect on me: Don Knotts, Sven Nykvist, Robert Altman.
ADDED #10: Phillip Seymour Hoffman arrives to give the Best Actress award. It's no surprise that the wonderful Helen Mirren wins. I love the array of actresses as the award is announced. They all do a perfect performance of the thought: Indeed, Helen Mirren is grand! I love the way Mirren "salutes" Elizabeth Windsor.
ADDED #11: It's Reese Witherspoon, here to give the award for Best Actor. She's got major hair extensions and a simple black strapless gown. Oh, don't you want Peter O'Toole to win? Yikes, what is that incredibly smarmy look Jada Pinkett Smith gives Will? Does she hate him + is a terrible actress? And it goes, as expected, to Forest Whitaker. The look on Peter O'Toole's face says: And now, it's impossible. He's very old. Whitaker raves -- touchingly -- about how acting is the belief that we can connect to others and create a new reality.
ADDED #12: Coppola, Lucas, and Spielberg gang up to deliver the long-awaited Oscar to Martin Scorsese, and the Oscar really does go to Marty. Li'l Marty hugs C, L, and S. He stammers and just thanks a lot of people. "So many people over the years have been wishin' this thing for me."
ADDED #13: Damn! I never caught up! I've been struggling and fast-forwarding, but I never could make it. I hope you accept my belated scribblings! Well, Best Picture now. Presenting: Diane Keaton (swathed in black) and Jack Nicholson (gloriously bald). I'm just thinking about how nobody made a political statement tonight. They kept it clean and elegant. And the winner is... "The Departed." Excellent!
ADDED #14: I turn off the lights and collect my bags to trudge upstairs after a long day. I peer out the front door and see the people came to shovel my walks as I was watching the Oscars. I'd parked my car in the street and stalked through foot high snow when I got home tonight. So I put on my big down coat and went outside to pull my car into the driveway. Let me leave you with one last shot of my car at the airport. Actually, this one is so abstract, I'm not positive it is my car:
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Helen Mirren on Barbara Walters can't understand why American women wear shorts.
Hmmm, Ellen Degeneres is lame. Her opening monologue is making the Oscars seem very small-fry, like the intro to just another show.
And now kissing Al Gore's ass. lol She's kissing everyone's ass. Billy Crystal was a kiss up, too, but at least he would do a funny musical number to get things rolling in grander fashion.
Now she's going on about the "diversity" of the people in front of her. I guess, to some extent. But still...99% champagne liberals. lol
I thought he was the new Lex Luthor.
To: Al & Leo
From: Me
Re: Going Green
It'd be a lot easier to offset carbon emissions if the Oscars went back to being a simple banquet ceremony instead of the massive (conflict-free) diamond-encrusted bukakke fest it is now, don't you think?
Smooches,
tiggeril
Where is Jon Stewart when we need him? Mein Gott.
LOL Leonardo is Al Gore's boy toy.
Gore says the Oscars are green this year. But wouldn't it be more green if they sped it along and shit the power off an hour earlier?
Note about cutting carbon emissions: Can we cut hot air emissions too? I mean, patting onesself on the back by trying to call the ceremony "green" with all the lights and electricity use, and hundreds if not more limousines, props trucks, travel by press (using their own lights, cameras, etc), and each individual invovled in the production as well as tangentally (i.e. security and additional police presence) is more ridiculous and clueless than Marie Antoinette's "cake" remark. I mean, please!!
-------
Yeah, mark the pundit, I was thinking the same thing: Get a room guys!
------
Going back a bit: Is it just me, or did the animated shorts look like they were waaaaay more interesting films than the full length animated features did?
No offense, at all, to anyone else's contribution here, but Tiggeril's 8:42 comment is my favorite so far, so much so that I included it in my own simulblog.
Tibore--
Yes, the animated shorts were generally better and more interesting than the full length shorts. Except for the one that won, of course, which was the most pretentious, boring, and predictable piece of poorly animated claptrap of this year's nominated films. The Little Matchgirl was confusing and convoluted, but at least it was pretty. The others were all quite funny--the comedians' song would have been especially poignant after that award.
They always are, tibore. I also need to track down West Bank Story because it looked awesome. I almost always prefer the shorts to the feature-length movies.
Aw, thanks, reader_iam!
And me without my borrowed Harry Winston. :(
Who's the little 10-year old that's nominated? I think she's adorable, especially because she has her stuffed monkey with her.
Ah, the obligatory overblown costume drama. God bless 'em.
My question is, does Gore gain more cachet by being adored there, or do the Oscars sink into abject dorkitude by his being adored there?
And I can forgive Ellen almost anything by virtue of her joke at the Oscars post 9/11: "We’re told to go on living our lives as usual, because to do otherwise is to let the terrorists win, and really, what would upset the Taliban more than a gay woman wearing a suit in front of a room full of Jews?” However, I'm going to watch the Fox comedy show instead.
My question is: Does Gore gain weight while being there?
Oh boy, time for them to be hip with the kids and their "digital cameras" and "Myspaces."
Ruth Anne,
Naw, the camera just didn't pan down low enough.
:-O
5'9" my a**...
He does a lot of that, Ruth Anne.
[Or is it the other way 'round?]
Children of Men was robbed.
How else would she communicate with the hired help?
I'm glad you're home safe - Orin Kerr couldn't get of Chicago and I nearly got myself killed several times before giving up and getting a hotel.
I need to see Pirates 2. I haven't gotten around to it yet.
Welcome home, Ann!
But will she tell Simon to kiss her ass?
Ha! That's what I get for not refreshing before I post.
If An Inconvenient Truth wins I swear I will puke in a box and send it to the Academy.
At least Seinfeld had the stones to call the nominated features "depressing". I'll give him that.
BAAAAARRRRRRRRRRF
"Climate change": It's a moral issue!
Not so much a science issue, but it's a moral issue!
Who's not looking forward to her Environmental Science class tomorrow?
Why, that's me!
Morricone. :)
Oh, no!
CELINE DION INCOMING!
I can NOT believe I just turned on the Academy Awards. I don't even think I saw a movie in 2006.
Celine Dion looks like Jennifer Aniston (sp?).
I dig well done montages too, but in smaller doses. This one for Morricone has gone on too long.
And airline food? Well, Cathay Pacific's honestly got some good grub. Seriously. But anyone else: Blech!
Well, at least it's a pretty necklace she's wearing.
Okay, not to beat a dead horse, but does anyone besides me find it funny that Clint Eastwood's gotta lean over to talk into the mic, but Tom Cruise doesn't?
Is it wrong for me to comment here even though I'm not watching the Oscars? (I'm just watching the IMDB front page get updated.)
I've got five out of seven right so far. I should've known the "message" of Happy Feet would trump the quality of Cars.
The Nazi's winning surprised me, though I guess it shouldn't have. Pan was on so many "best of" lists, tho'.
Ennio Moricone, speak American!
So, I guess he works out of Italy, not Hollywood, then? Huh.
Also, I'm guessing that the Teleprompter speaks better Italian than Clint does. ;)
ARRRG... THEY WUSSED DOWN THE GM ROBOT COMMERCIAL!!
Shame, shame... the robot jumped off the bridge in his dream, I saw it!...
Wimps...
For those who are wondering, Jack Nicholson is portraying a cancer victim in his next movie, and that's why he's bald.
Not sure how many people noticed him? How could anyone miss him with that jacket on??!!
I like Quincy Jones, but damn... there's funky, and there's WTF, ya know? Anyway, yeah, I noticed him. I think everyone who looked in that direction noticed him.
Yay, classic Spider-Man theme!
are they a couple, kirsten and toby?
Tibore, I'm not watching. Was Tom Cruise also standing on a box? He's taller than Prince, but that's about it.
Don LaFontaine's being all flirty.
Ew.
Do they add these little factoids every year? ("To write the script, dude quit his job working for Matthew Broderick"). I do not like.
Who's this black chick with the bodacious ass? She seems nice. I like the musical numbers. Celine kept it on a short leash.
A medley? Oy.
Ennio Morricone's award was what I was looking forward to the most. He's one of the greatest! Unfortunately Celine Dion had to stink it up.
I swear, Beyonce was specially engineered for evening gowns.
Beyonce is better than Mariah.
Oh, so that's Jennifer Hudson. She changed her hair from just like 20 minutes ago.
THE RETURN OF XENU
Ann, fellow commenters, please excuse me for the forthcoming language.
FUCK YOU AL.
No! Bad Academy! Since when did Best Song become a political category?
I feel uncomfortable listening to the thank you speeches.
Wow, that snow on your car is amazing.
Thank you, Ruth Anne. Much like the Oscars, it's a once a year phenomenon. ;)
But seriously, the next car I buy will be the biggest, most obnoxious SUV I can afford. Because... honestly now.
Of course, I've only seen snow once before in my life so what do I know about amazing.
Man, all that snow. Chicago got it easy compared to you guys.
Tiggeril, is it just me, or have you been ansent for a while? Either way, I'm glad to see you back in the comments section.
Blade Runner!
I taped the 1/2 Hour Comedy Hour (to see if the critical pans are accurate) and Michelle Malkin's new show tonight, but I'm starting to think I should've just flipped over to them at 10.
I'm glad that Coen movies keep making it into these montages though! (Barton Fink, O Brother...)
I didn't have any opinion on the song until the pretentious, preachy, self important message display during the performance. After that, I was actively rooting against it.
To me, anthropomorphic climate change is like AIDS: It's important enough to warrant something better than the narcisstic attention of the self-contratulatory, self important crowd that confuses wearing pins and "raising awareness" with having actual impact. They're real issues that deserve real attention, not the ridiculous patting of one's own back that the cause-seeking continually indulge in.
Oh, I want to see Little CHildren. Must put that in my queue.
slim tyranny:
Someone on this thread has to say it:
Al Gore IS An Inconvenient Truth.
(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)
Haha!
"My partner just said, “Now all of you get behind that scrim and make the shape of Iwo Jima!”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/17333639/
Ann: Great story and photo about the car. They must have shoveled fast! I believe you are right - the shovel will probably be at the agre upon place, after the 47th person finishes getting her car out.
Oh, the Departed. I saw that. It's a Scorcese (sp?) movie. Guess what? Everyone shoots each other at the end!
I heartily agree, Ruth.
I've been lurking lately, Peter. Homework and all. :)
Whoa, Jodie Foster. Where's she been?
If they like The Departed so much, how come the superior original version, called Infernal Affairs, didn't get any Oscars?
For the same reason Tony Leung doesn't win Best Actor every year. ...because no one's seen it.
cf. The voice-over factoid people refering to it (IA) as a Japanese movie earlier (when Departed won for adapted screenplay)...ridiculous.
-kd
Rather tepid applause for the Montage O' Corpses this year.
I didn't know Mako died!!
Aw, man... I'm sad now... damn, I really liked him. Even in very unnoticed parts, like his voiceover work in the Samurai Jack cartoons, I really enjoyed his stuff.
Man...
I always enjoy the "best dead people" part because the people who died are usually old, which means the clips they show are from the days back when movies were good. Before the dark time. Before the Empire.
I wonder if Her Majesty is actually watching. I read somewhere she hasn't actually seen the movie yet.
Well, it's like 5 in the morning over there, so maybe one of the pages is TiVoing it for her.
Wow. That Al Gore turns out was a pretty smart guy.
Viva ManBearPig!
Seriously, who do I have to pay off to get Jon Stewart hosting again? I will start saving pennies and selling internal organs tomorrow if I have to.
Reese Witherspoon is, like, the quintessence of a good American girl.
because no one's seen it
There's no real reason more Asian movies can't be distributed to mainstream cineplexes with money pumped into a marketing campaign. They're already popular enough that Best Buy sells the DVDs like hotcakes.
-----
Kate Winslet should just go and wrench her Oscar from Gwyneth Paltrow's scrawny little paws.
Yeah, but the way their careers have gone since, Kate continues to do really good movies while Paltrow will soon be forgotten in the distbin of history.
Peter O'Toole was robbed!!
Whitacker has the best speech award too. :) I like him.
Forest gets it. 10/12. O'Toole was right to want to reject that honorary award in 2003.
ruth: i liked his speech, because it was from the heart.
And Scorsese finally gets his little golden dude.
Factoid lady, die die die!
The Departed was mediocre at best, esp for Scorcese.
"I'm so moved!" That's one I commonly use as snotty joke.
Hey! Scorsese got it! My first pleseant surprise of the night! I wanted either him or Eastwood to get it, but I figured that Babel's director was a forgone conclusion.
Whaddaya know.
Scorsese's being way too gracious. I'd be hurling all kinds of invective at the Academy if I was him.
LoafingOaf said...
There's no real reason more Asian movies can't be distributed to mainstream cineplexes with money pumped into a marketing campaign. They're already popular enough that Best Buy sells the DVDs like hotcakes.
Oh, I agree...I saw Infernal Affairs at the Music Box theater in Chicago, and it was terrific. But, there's no way a movie like IA could ever get the distribution and publicity of The Departed. I'm told that there's a true remake of The Killer with Chow Yun Fat (though not directed by Woo) that's set for a US release...that could change things, but I doubt it. Many people that saw and raved about the movie aren't really interested in see that story unless it has Mark Walberg and Leo Dicaprio in it.
-kd
And he's miffed all his practice sessions....
He's the one I remember the most from the Globes, and I suspect he'll be the one I remember the most from tonight. But then, I'm kind of a fan of his, so I'm biased.
Ah, Diane, looking smashing as ever.
Diane Keaton is kinda hot for an old lady.
"Please don't be mad, Martin. Please? Pretty please?"
Okay, now the factoid lady really needs to shut up.
They keep cutting back to Diane Keaton cuz she's so hot. Even tho' the guy's giving his acceptance speech!
Good night, everyone! It's been a pleasure, as always.
It's over... It's only 9:17 in CA.
Standing on a box?? LOL, madisonman... that's way further than I even thought about going. Answer: Heck if I know; I only remember him being shown from the waist up.
Standing on a box... I'm still chuckling over that one :) ...
Ok... time for us Eastern Time Zone folks to go to bed. Nice hanging out with everyone! G'night!
It's early, so I'm going to hang around and watch the Althouse updates. And the Babwa Wawa special.
Barbara just said you have to listen closely to Jennifer Hudson to hear a star being born. How do you listen to Jennifer Hudson closely? You'd kind of have to turn down the volume to listen to her closely.
Mmm...just remembering watching Jennifer Hudson on American Idol when I was in Hawaii.
OMG! Helen Mirren was in Caligula!!! I saw that movie. I want to say, "EWWWWWW!!!" I never wanted to have sex again after watching that movie. (That desire faded.)
She's wearing uncommonly dark nail polish.
Does Barbara seem less probing now than she used to, or has she always been...not so probing? Terry Gross can interview circles around this woman.
Yeah, you're clearly right Ruth Anne. I so rarely tune into this kind of television. Doing so is often a bit revelatory.
Didn't watch much but saw the part about the Herrick Library -- I was there once and got to pick up a real Oscar. Quite beautiful and heavy, actually, so I'm always amazed when people wave them around on stage. Maybe it's the adrenalin, like when people pick up a car to release somebody trapped underneath?
I'm sorry I missed the we're-racist-warmongers montage. Getting back at us for loving Netflix more than them, huh?
Ten Scorcese pictures far better than The Departed (in chrono order)
The Aviator, Casino, Goodfellas, The Last Temptation of Christ, After Hours, The King of Comedy, Raging Bull, The Last Waltz, Taxi Driver, and Mean Streets
Ten pictures released in 2006 better than The Departed (that I've seen, I've missed many)
Pan's Labyrinth, Monster House, Casino Royale, Volver, The Queen, Last King of Scotland, Curse of the Golden Flower, Inland Empire, United 93, and Snakes on a Plane
(one of those 2006 titles may be listed as a joke, but I'm serious about Departed not even being in Scorcese's personal top ten)
The Academy has been more wrong in the past (Crash, Forrest Gump) but not by much.
Well, I can see why Alan Arkin's heroin sniffing gran'pappy snagged the best supporting actor Oscar. The voting membership of AMPAS must have been huffing something nasty to give The Departed best film and best adapted screenplay, while snubbing the sublime Pan's Labyrinth for best foreign language flim. (Sorry, bur I think it was pretty obvious Scorsese finally got the best director Oscar he should have had twenty-six years ago because it would have been too much to pass him over when he'd handed in the biggest commercial/critical hit of his career - even if it really deserve a special Oscar for 'most embarrassing hack remake of a vastly superior foreign film by someone who should know better, ever'.
Oh, and would someone tell Al and Leonardo there's nothing more embarrasing that people with no detectable sense of humour trying to be funny?
Rule Britannia what?
"The Muses, still with freedom found,
Shall to thy happy coast repair;
O blest Isle! With matchless beauty crowned,
And manly hearts to guide the fair."
Manly hearts guiding the fair? These days? Is that legal? Stephen Frears presumably.
Hey, thanks to everyone for keeping up the flow all night. You know, when Tiggeril wrote "FUCK YOU AL," I thought it was "FUCK YOU ALL," and I just couldn't understand where the weird hostility was coming from.
Here's what Hollywood's future (and present) big-ticket audience was doing last night:
My Son, age 14: Playing an online game, listening to the Rolling Stones. Wandered in to the TV room twice for about 30 seconds each time, was totally bored. Left.
My daughter, age 12: Kept asking "What are these movies? I've never heard of any of them!! Who are these people?...This is boring." Watched until 10 pm or so and was completely bored.
Other daughter, age 10: Asked her if she wanted to watch the Oscars. Her reply: "What's that?"
Good luck, Hollywood!
Ah, I don't have that kind of hostility in me.
Usually. Takes more than Hollywood to bring it out. Like important debates about "soda" vs. "pop."
My 13-yo daughter watched the Oscars at a friend's house -- it was a regular Oscar Party for the 8th-grade set.
I can't believe Peter O'Toole lost. I thought it would be like Henry Fonda and On Golden Pond -- a shoo-in! The younger voters must have no conscience.
Al Gore's wooden squareness as hip? I thought of him as channeling William Shatner while he was making his big announcement.
I could care less about the Oscars and I love you, Anne, but I object to your criticism of Nicole Kidman who is the living god.
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