Nobyembre 6, 2006

"Naked man arrested for concealed weapon."

That happened.

18 komento:

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

With that headline I figured, we had a Germany or Florida? situation.

But to my disappointment (or maybe delight?) it was a homegrown story from right here in Southern California.

Woohoo!

(and ouch)

AllenS ayon kay ...

"The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path"

I think he may have some issues.

Unknown ayon kay ...

Rectum? Damned near killed him!

Palladian ayon kay ...

If you're goin' to San Francisco,

Be sure to insert an awl in your rectum,

If you're goin' to San Francisco,

You're gonna meet some scary people there.

For those who come to San Francisco,

Summertime will be a love-in there;

In the parks of San Francisco,

Gentle people with awls inserted into their rectums.

Unknown ayon kay ...

You know, if this starts happening more often, I think we're going to have to start training our police officers with one of these. (Hat tip Dave Barry)

Palladian ayon kay ...

This guy fits awls well in ends well.

Palladian ayon kay ...

From Mcg's link:

"1 Adult lumbar torso (unisex)

4 rectal units
1 prostate model
1 endocervix model
1 jar of Vaseline
1 storage box

Specifications may change without notice. "

To quote Slim Pickens in "Dr Strangelove": "Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff!"

Unknown ayon kay ...

"Where is the weirdest place that you have had the urge to put an awl?"
"That would be in the butt, Bob."

Doug ayon kay ...

Rectum? Damned near killed him!

Damn you, I got done reading that story and was ready to post that, LOL, but you beat me to it.

Sanjay ayon kay ...

Aw, fer cryin' out loud, that nature trail runs by my duaghter's preschool -- he can't be five minutes' walk up it.

Sorry, xwl --- NOT Southern Cal!

BJK ayon kay ...

I'll be the one to ask:

Does self gratification while simultaneously consealing a tool in one's rectum qualify as a one-man threesome?

AllenS ayon kay ...

"Does self gratification while simultaneously consealing a tool in one's rectum qualify as a one-man threesome?"

Depends on where the other hand was.

Ruth Anne Adams ayon kay ...

I'm stumped about this one awl-right.

Maybe he was trying to stab a gerbil?

Hindi-nagpakilala ayon kay ...

My mistake, I saw that it said El Cerrito, and even mentions that the incident happened near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station, but my mind read it as Cerritos.

Oops.

Append the above post to read that it was a homegrown story from right here in California.

(Southern, Northern or Central, we're all citizens (OK, many of us aren't citizens, residents anyway) of the Golden State)

KCFleming ayon kay ...

Next time?

1. Tool belt
2. A seat cushion
3. A room

thefewandtheplenty ayon kay ...

I'm pretty sure there's an Onion article that predates this.

But I admire the police for sticking to procedure by asking a naked man if we was carrying anything. We have procedures for a reason people!

Revenant ayon kay ...

If this guy had just had the presence of mind to turn himself blue or invent his own private gold-backed currency he'd have had a lock on the 2008 Libertarian congressional nomination.

knox ayon kay ...

When you're talking about an awl or an ice pick and you're dealing with somebody who's fresh out of prison, it's a weapon.

I'd also argue that when some guy's pulling it out of his rectum, it's a weapon. Keep your distance, indeed!

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