August 16, 2006

How can you be so careless with the female form?

"Project Runway." We're reminded that there is no immunity from last week's show, and I'm reminding you that I predicted, based on the excessive Michael-love in last week's edit, that Michael, last week's winner, would be auf'd soon.

No open-toed footwear. That's what Tim says. The designers are driven out to New Jersey, and the scenery flows by like the opening sequence of "The Sopranos." And it's trash! Make an outfit out of trash.

"This is kinda fun for me, cuz I grew up white trash, and my sister and I used to always go dumpster diving. I spent my whole life in the trash can." Says Kayne, quite adorably.

"I let things evolve. I don't own the future. I don't go there. You know what I mean? I just let it come. Let it come. And that's how I work." Says Vincent, and the accompanying plunking bass notes say: he's in trouble. We see him grimacing, and Laura's saying "He's not mentally stable."

Then we see Kayne and Robert talking about how Laura's nuts. And Laura's making a dress that says -- across the ass -- "for nuts only."

Meanwhile, Kayne is making something inexplicable, with stiff, white paper painted with atrocious green flowers. They're all gonna laugh at you.

Michael has made a really cool gold bustier. But that skirt! It seems like a blank canvas.

Ooh, Alison and Tim are talking about how her model is a little large. She's larger than all the other models... Oh, poor Alison! She needs to win so she can auf her model! Have I ever mentioned how much I love Alison. Look at that subtle color, those pleats. And I'm trying not to be swayed by her ultra-sweet appearance. She looks like a woman on an album cover from the 50s that my father would have loved.

And Michael wins again! Cool! Jeffrey comes in second and -- like an idiot -- he expresses his jealousy: Michael won for a "diabetic" outfit. No flavor.

Kayne is spared, and it's between Vincent and Alison. Oh, no, don't take my Alison away!

"There's a fine line between innovation and insanity," Heidi says to Vincent. But Alison, how could you be so careless with the female form. And Alison is out! Oh, no!

Laura freaks about the bad model Alison got stuck with. Shhhh... shhh, Kayne says. Let us enjoy our last moments with Alison.

9 comments:

KCFleming said...

I. Just. Can't. Stop. Looking. At. His. Hideous. Neck. Tattoo.

Someone help! Please! What about the male form? Yecch.

Second thing, what's with the complaints from the judges that the paper, plastic, and other recycled trash didn't move properly? They're kidding, right?

price said...

Project Runway jumps the shark! Cutting Alison was bizarre from both a creative and a production standpoint. She was an appealing, talented designer AND her dress was not as awful as Vincent's. Whatever credibility this show had to set it apart from trashier reality TV is completely gone. They went and cut my favorite PR contestant ever!

Matt Brown said...

Vincent should have been sent home. This was Alison's first time at the bottom, and he's been in the bottom several times. Cutting Alison at this time makes no sense, especially when she was near the top last week.

Oscar Madison said...

I was outraged. Vincent has been among the three worst every week, and Allison has shown real talent each of the first four weeks. But you knew Allison was gone when Heidi said, "would I rather wear something ugly that's long and thin, or something that makes me look fat?"

Irene Done said...

The Jubilee Jumbles Award -- how funny!

The highlight for me was Michael Kors turning to Jeffrey and saying something like, "your dress is ugly-beautiful which is kinda your whole aesthetic, right?"

That must have been tough to hear. Good news: Michael Kors gets your style. Bad news: he just called it unpleasant to look at.

Adam said...

My recap and blog's discussion is over here, and it's weird that the worst sin in HeidiLand is "making someone look big".

That said, say what you will about Vincent, but at least he's got an aesthetic. I don't know what Allison's is.

Blondie said...

Irene -

I thought Jeffrey actually identified with the "ugly-beautiful" comment ... because isn't that his thing? He's a rock-and-roll, destroyed, distressed clothing designer pre-PR, so his designs, at least to me, are ugly-beautiful.

And I agree with all of you, Alison is a big loss. Vincent should have gone. They voted her out because she - as a female designer - didn't design well for the female form.

But doesn't this give all the male contestants some kind of competitive advantage in a way, since they are male, and therefore could be judged less harshly than the female designers, at least in this capacity? You're female, you are supposed to understand the female form better than your male competitor (in this case Vincent for Alison).

Kind of a crock.

Irene Done said...

Blondie -- good point. Jeffrey really did seem to embrace that comment when he called Michael's design "diabetic." But Jeffrey's immediate reaction to the comment on the runway seemed to be a little mixed. Like he didn't know how to take it. Maybe it amused only me because I can't stand the guy.

knox said...

You're female, you are supposed to understand the female form better than your male competitor (in this case Vincent for Alison). Kind of a crock.

Yes, I thought that was bogus too. But I did think Allison's basically looked like a bunch of stuff taped together in desperation---the least deliberately designed of them all.

I'm certainly ready for Vincent to go, too. Interestingly, I've read several interviews with different designers and many of them have said that, crazy as the footage and editing makes him seem, he was the nicest, most supportive person on the show.

Jeffrey's a jerk. How many times now has he slagged off someone's work that is clearly as good or better than his own? If he's not doing that, he's appraising the entire work room and saying everyone's work sucks but his! Here's a clue Jeff--your tired refrain is boring, and there's a reason you haven't won yet.