THE SONG: Relient K, "Who I Am Hates Who I've Been"Notice how the criticism -- which is trenchant -- doesn't even point out the oceanic boo-boo. I guess Mr. K couldn't think of a rhyme for Atlantic. Let me suggest: pedantic.
THE LYRIC: "I watched the proverbial sunrise/coming up over the Pacific/and you might think I'm losing my mind/but I will shy away from specifics"
THE VERDICT: Not just the "duh" rhyme of "Pacific" and "specifics," but more importantly, why the proverbial sunrise? How is a sunrise proverbial?
IN THE COMMENTS: I'm told there is no "Mr. K" ... and that I'm either not recognizing the concession that the speaker is supposed to seem crazy or that I'm being too West Coast-o-centric.
पोस्ट्स
३७ टिप्पण्या:
Yeah, that might answer the question about what's "proverbial." Maybe the line's brilliant after all!
The sun comes up over the Pacific for people on the west side of the Pacific.
Or maybe he's in Asia.
Or Hawaii
if only he gave us the specifics
Sippican-
the Horse With No Name.
Gad!!!!!! UGH!!!! Holy-wow I wanna swear-crap do I L-O-A-T-H-E that song.
You think you got somethin' with Hooked on A Feelin'!??!
I'm gonna take you with your broken beer bottle and beat you with a pogo stick...
Bye Bye Miss Ameica Pie
Take that you filthy animal!
{PS If I got the title wrong-I don't care- you all still know the drivel I'm refering to.}
I win.
{Sippican KO 'ed rolling on the floor spitting out his teeth-wishing he knew where or what he could even begin to google for...}
Since SC has correctly identified the worst lyric in Horse with no name, I offer this diversion.
Maggie Estep, on the album/CD No More Mister Nice Guy, has a story about getting a haircut so bad the only job she can get is as a stripper. She ends up dancing to Madonna's Borderline:
"Borderline, Borderline, Borderline, Love me till I just can't see." And I start wondering "what the hell does that mean?" Love me till I just can see--what does that mean? Screw me so much my eyes pop out, I go blind, end up walking crazy naked and horny down 2nd Avenue. What?
Maybe Relient K was in Hawaii when he wrote it....
He could have use "romantic" to rhyme with Atlantic.
Toto has written some pretty sad bits of lyrics. I love the band, musicianship is top-notch, but I cringe at some of the innanities put to harmonies. And they're still goin' at it.
What about Sir Mix Alot: "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." Classic!!
There is a great version of the song here - find the jimmy kimmel link. Richard Cheese has proved to be a great rap translater for me.
A problem I have with most Rap music is that it seems to be nothing more that words strung together with ryhme but no meaning or narrative at all. The ability to rhyme ad-nausium is the thing, the only thing. There are exceptions. Eminem seems to put thought into a lot of his stuff.
Though I don't do much these days, I started writing lyrics when I was 13, and most of them were God awfull. Here is a lyric from the first thing I ever wrote:
Fortune fame and friends,
It sems it never ends,
But then I took a fall,
And seems I lost it all,
But now I see,
It's not them, It's me....
The song is called "Insanity" and yes, it's pretty bad. But hey. What do you want. I was 13 and depressed. I was listening to a lot of ELO at that time, and the lyric patterns are a replica of the Jeff Lynne style of song writing. So if it's bad, blame him! I was only 13.
I tried to write a song inspired by the Kurt Vonnegut book "Galápagos". Putrid and vommitous do not come close to describing the results. It is the only thing I have ever thrown away on the spot, and have NEVER tried to write a lyric based on a book again. EVER!
PS. You never see anyone do articles about good lyrics. Two of my favorite song writers are Paul Simon and Neil Finn (Split Enz, Crowded House). They both have a gift for thoughtfull lyrics. Neil wrote a song called "Pineapple Head", inspired by the feverous ramblings of his eight year old son who was very sick with a temp of 103. It was a great song.
On thoughts of ever cheating on his wife while on tour -
the guilty get no sleep
in the last slow hours of morning
experience is cheap
should have listened to the warning
but the cradle is soft and warm
into temptation
knowing full well the earth will rebel...
Re: "Hooked on a Feeling." Where I went to high school there was a jukebox in the cafeteria and that song was removed from it. "Hooked on a Feeling" had sparked a race riot.
And such a cheerful sounding song, too. Who'd have thunk it?
Sippy - better get that table leg! I'll match your "Hooked on a Feeling" and raise you "Billy Don't Be A Hero"...
Then there is that Debbie Boone song.... God it is sooo bad I have blocked it from my memory - I only remember we had to play the thing in high school band. Thank GOD for repressed memory syndrome.
And people wondered why the band went from 98 members my freshman year to 39 a year later.
But I'm holding back my secret weapon for later. It is a nuke, and no one will survive! ...and no, it's not "Eye of the Tiger"!
Oh Ya! Sippican......
My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard,damn straight it's better than yours, I could teach ya but I'd have to charge...
tout fins la......
You cannot top that bilge...
{madawaskan making for la toilet-this could be a diet of sorts....}
By the way, there is no "Relient K" or "Mr. K." It's a band from northeastern Ohio. And I usually love their lyrics. I think that they're insightful, intelligent, wise, and meant to be fun.
Mark Daniels
Oh gag!!!!!!!
Sippican is the master. I surrender but as I make my retreat-
I'll dump this on y'all-{special request by mango..}
I'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world
Life in plastic, it's fantastic!
you can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let's go party!
...
I'm a blond bimbo girl, in a fantasy world
Dress me up, make it tight, I'm your dolly
You're my doll, rock'n'roll, feel the glamour in pink,
kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky...
The sunrise over the Pacific is surely intentional. The next line (not quoted above) is:
"Cause I don't want you to know where I am". Here are the full lyrics (Warning -- they only get worse.)
For all you bad-lyric-bar-fighters: "Some people call me Maurice..." do I have to go on?
How did they miss this gem from Counting Crows' Accidentally in Love:
Well baby I surrender
To the strawberry ice cream
Never ever end of all this love
My favourite thing about Relient K is that, as a Christian pop-punk band, it's hard to tell when they're talking about Jesus and when they're talking about their girlfriend. For example:
"if it wasn't for him i would still be searching/if it wasn't for him i wouldn't know my best friend"
vs.
"oh god oh god, I needed you. all of this time i needed you."
The second one is actually referring to God but the first one is addressed to his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, thanking him for being a jerk so the girl's now with him.
Aww, c'mon, "Accidentally In Love" is just charming-goofy...it doesn't deserve to be in the company of some of the other root-canal-without-anaesthesia songs that have been bandied about.
Next thing I know y'all are going to tear into R.E.M. or some similar outrage:
"Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom!"
("It's The End Of The World As We Know It (And I Feel Fine)")
I don't care who you are; that's top-shelf, quality nonsense there.
The thing about Steve Miller is a lot of his weird lyrics were allusions to other songs. For example.
Still, I don’t think this explains:
Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
You know he knows just exactly what the facts is
He ain't gonna let those two escape justice
He makes his livin' off of the people's taxes
OK, I'm back from work for the moment. I do need to carify that there is a difference between bad and bland. Bland is any number of songs by Peter Cetera, Phat Heart, or Cher's thirty some-odd years worth of comeback albums. Bland is also repetition, such as Lenny Kravitz "I Wanna Flyyyyy Away, Yeah Yeah Yeah" OK. I'll buy the ticket, now leave already. Here is my warm up for bad:
A) Shameless reference to a hit movie in hopes that it will spur record sales:
Neil Diamond "Turn On Your Heartlight". Not one of the career highlights from a good artist.
There was a disco "Superman" song in 78, but it's not worth looking up.
B) Non-sensicle:
Phil Collins built his career on this one.
"Two hearts, believing in just one mind
Beating together till the end of time". I though it was "beating in just one mind, which would cause an anurism for sure, and still make about as much sense.
And then there is "Susudio, just say the word...". Uhm, NO.
C) Dumb:
Bryan Adams on "Cuts Like A Knife". The song is about a guy who finds out his girl has been cheating on him. He's sad and bummed out that she's "thown it all away". And in the chorus he sings "Cause it cuts like a knife" but follows with "But it feels alright..." Huh???
Or BS:
"People--people who need people
Are the luckiest people in the world,
We're children, needing other children
And yet letting our grown-up pride
Hide all the need inside,
Acting more like children
Than children.
We travel single-oh
Maybe we're lucky, but I don't know--
With them,
Just let one kid fall down
And seven mothers faint.
I guess we're both happy, but maybe--
We ain't. "
Gotta go eat lunch. Will finnish this off with one more salvo....
Yes Steve, you did get lucky no one noticed the "Pometus Of Love" bit, but COME ON! Did you really think you could get away with THIS???
"ABRA-ABRA-CADABRA
I WANNA REACH OUT AND GRAB YA!!!"
Word Ver. "JEPLN", as in "I'm leavin', on a JEPLN". :-)
Sippican- as a sort-of-amusing project, I have been collecting all the recordings of "MacArthur Park" I can find. So far, I have 73 including Liza Minelli, the Ray Conniff Singers, Psychotica, Howard Keel, Sammy Davis, Jr. and the Four Tops.
And, for the Ladies con-tractin',
Johnny get angry, Johnny get mad
Give me the biggest lecture I ever had.
I want a brave man, I want a cave man,
Johnny show me that you care really care for me.
This isn't the A-Bomb. I'm softening you up with some artillary.
D) Bad, but on purpose and all in the name of fun.
Some one already mentioned REM's "It's The End Of The Word As We Know It". You can include any number of Oingo Boingo song in this category. But my favorite?
Squeeze, from the fantastic 1991 album "Play". A song called "House of Love":
She was full of lies and boredom
It came as no surprise that she would cheat
Her nails were long and sharp
But she didnt play the harp
She wasnt an angel I told her
But she wasnt able to understand my words
Rich pickings in reverse
I wasnt shakespeare
Its simple
Did she expect me
To kiss her feet
A very acidic tongue
Waggled in her head
NAAA-AAA-AUA-HUA_ANAAUAAA
Life was lots of fun
At times I had to smile
In front of everyone
We seemed the best of friends
Life had just begun
When on the roof a tile began to slip
The house of love caved in and that was it
She was full of tears by nature
It came to me so clear that she would creep
Her eyes were stale and spun
Like marbles in the sun
She wasnt a princess I told her
And so I witnessed the slaying of my life
That lasted half the night
I wasnt jesus
Believe me
Our love was seedless
And incomplete
A very acidic tongue
Waggled in her head
NAAA-AAA-AUA-HUA_ANAAUAAA...
PS. This album is my all time second favorite, bettered only by "Duke" from Genisis.
"Palladian, I can get you a Sinatra one."
Got it!
As far as I'm concerned, one of the all-time worst songs is Bobby Goldsboro's wretched "Honey":
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy...
This song also has the added bonus of an unexplained and unnecessary death, and an ending that is a reiteration of the beginning of the song, suggesting that the song goes on, over and over, for eternity.
Another REM one:
I am, I am, I am Superman and I know what's happening
I am, I am, I am Superman and I can do anything
You don't really love that guy you make it with now do you
I know you don't love that guy cause I can see right through you
Mango: Country music is notorious for non-rhymes. [And LeAnn Rimes, but that's another story.]
Take the Coal Miner's Daughter, Loretty Lynn:
"Yeah I'm proud to be a coal miner's daughter
I remember well the well where I drew water
The work we done was hard
at night we'd sleep cause we were tired
I never thought I'd ever leave the Butcher Holler."
I swear. When she sings it, "tired" does rhyme with "hard".
I hate to do this to everyone but:
Someone left the cake out in the rain
I don't think I could take it, `cause it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again, oh no!"
OK. I may not be able to type for long. I was transcribing the lyrics to the A-Bomb song, and my computer crashed, complete with the blue screen of death.
I TOLD YOU the song was not only hideous, but possibly so bad as to be deadly.
Sippican- as a sort-of-amusing project, I have been collecting all the recordings of "MacArthur Park" I can find. So far, I have 73 including Liza Minelli, the Ray Conniff Singers, Psychotica, Howard Keel, Sammy Davis, Jr. and the Four Tops.
Be careful. If you play them all in the wrong order, the twelfth imam will appear.
No kidding aside, I think I can safely say no one's going to beat Levi Stubbs singing that one. I can't think of anyone offhand who sounds more like they're having a tooth out over every line.
As promised - The A-Bomb!
Would I calm her down by throwing stones at her?
If you have to ask this, then I think you are the one with the disconnect. These are the lyrics from the sixties band "The Move" and the song is "The Lemon Tree".
There's a girl next door to me who's round the bend
But she wonders why she can't make any friends
From her garden she could see me
In her silver plaid bikini
Singing, dancing round her fruit
Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister can you hear me
Here we go round the lemon tree
Mister don't come near me
Would I calm her down by throwing stones at her
If only I could make the right approach to her
Think I'd rather tame the tiger
Turn those lemons into cider
Still I'd like to get beside her
CHORUS
(silly bridge with violins)
Morning came and into action went my plans
Went to meet her dressed in bright green underpants
I crept in and sang discretely
Seemed to change her mind completely
Danced together singing sweetly
Here we go round... blah, blah, blah
Capitulate and Surrender Sippy!
How I came across this gem of a song is posted on my blog.
Proposition: Nominees for the worst-ever song lyrics should get extra points in proportion to the popularity of the song, and if it tends to have another dreaded aspect (to be revealed below.)
Nominee for the worst
song lyrics:
Clair, the moment I met you, I swear
I felt as if something, somewhere
Had happened to me, which I couldn't see
And then, the moment I met you, again
I knew in my heart that we were friends
It had to be so, it couldn't be no
But try as hard as I might do, I don't know why
You get to me in a way I can't describe
Words mean so little when you look up and smile
I don't care what people say
To me you're more than a child
Oh, Clair
Clair
Clair, if ever a moment so rare
Was captured for all to compare
That moment is you in all that you do
But why in spite of our age difference do I cry
Each time I leave you I feel I could die
Nothing means more to me than hearing you say
"I'm going to marry you
Will you marry me, oh hurray"
Oh, Clair
Clair
Clair, I've told you before "Don't you dare"
"Get back into bed"
"Can't you see that it's late"
"No you can't have a drink"
"Oh, alright then, but wait just a minute"
While I, in an effort to babysit, catch up on my breath
What there is left of it
You can be murder at this hour of the day
But in the morning the sun will see my lifetime away
Oh Clair
Clair
Oh Clair
------------------------------
Can't prove it, but I would guess
this is a revised version, substituting "Oh hurray" for "Uncle
Ray," possibly because of the implications of extremely illegal behavior - which I do not suppose actually occurred. ("Wait just a minute" also appears to be a revision from "just a bit," which rhymes with "baby-sit," but who knows why that would be revised.) Interestingly (to me, anyway... not that I am by any means some kind of nitpicking dweeb) I been familiar with this song for decades, only now realizing that the "Uncle Ray" part
could actually be somewhat redeeming, as the songwriter's real name is
Ray! Anyway, I probably should be ashamed of myself for picking on this innocent song... but I am stuck with my evaluation that the lyrics are among the worst ever.
Worse still, every time I think of this song, like now, I get it stuck playing in my head for hours!
Apologies to any reader of this who remembers the song and is likewise afflicted. I must get back to "The Boys Are Back in Town," if possible. WTRA
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