June 29, 2005
"Egyptians ate lettuce to boost sex drive."
That's what it says here. Something to do with the god Min, who is "invariably depicted with a large, erect" -- and probably lettuce-y -- penis.
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Even if it's not stuck in your teeth, have you ever noticed how unattractive people are when they are eating salad?
If you keep reading, you'll find that it might have more to do with those shirtless sweaty male Egyptian lettuce pickers than the phytochemicals in the lettuce.
Lmeade: Jeez... that photograph didn't make me "feel calmer."
Ann: You gonna eat the rest of that salad?
A woman of my acquaintance contracted breast cancer, and decided to heal it the natural way. No knives, radiation, chemotherapy, none of that Western scientific stuff. The cure was to be produced by a base diet of specially prepared, very expensive wheatgrass juice, along with supplementary condiment herbs.
At the time I first saw her, I was unaware of the cancer. She came to a garden party in a somewhat tight, clingy blouse. A part of the treatment was that the affected breast had to be un-braed at all times, and on occasion wrapped in cabbage leaves.
Man is weak. One specific form of weakness is that he looks. I looked. I never saw anything in the ordinary, garden-variety breast way quite like her. So, one man, one vote, and I vote: lettuce, cabbage, they are not ever going to be aphrodisiacs for me, no matter how administered. Why, even a poultice of sauerkaut wouldn't work.
(Ut's been a year. She's still alive. The tumor apparently waxes and wanes, but is still present. So the evidence is not in, yet, on the efficacy of the natural cure.)
ohhhh...head...of lettuce. Now I get it!
Whoops!
ladies, ladies no need to fight...plenty of lettuce for everyone...
Don't bring in cabbage. My cabbage-blogging day was back here.
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