Ode to Masculinity. Since I spent most of the day witnessing male genius in the form of Beethoven and Tarantino, let me enumerate the lesser manifestations of masculinity I observed today, in reverse order of dorkiness.

4. At the restaurant, a young guy is wearing a shirt that bears the slogan "Pain is weakness leaving the body." On closer inspection, it turns out to be a Marines T-shirt. Low level of dorkiness assigned on the assumption the young man is a Marine.

3. At the movie theater, the young guy in front of me periodically moves to the edge of his seat and blocks the lower left corner of the screen. Not only does this cut off part of my view, but it distracts me with the knowledge of what sorts of things excite him, such as the preview for the movie "Hero." Sidenote: I love the utter straightforwardness of this quote from the director of "Hero," Zhang Yimou (speaking to the Chinese press): "My idea of the film was for it to be not too lofty or sublime. I just thought let us make a good film, make it attractive and get people to come and see it."

2. Two boys have a big trampoline set up under a basketball hoop, which allows them to make great jump shots.

1. A teenage guy is wearing sneakers that have a little skate wheel hidden in the heel. Even though he's walking with a pretty teenage girl, every once in a while, he goes up on one heel and slides ahead for a few yards.

Saturday at the Ironworks. More pictures from 9 Beet Stretch:

Kill Bill, Vol. 2 is gargantuan. An enjoyable afternoon was spent at the movies, seeing the new Kill Bill. I'm just going to say one thing general and one thing specific about the visuals and one thing specific about the music.

One thing general about the visuals: There were always numerous interesting details on screen to look at, which rarely happens in film and counts for a lot with me.

One thing specific about the visuals: In the scene at night in the graveyard, with the coffin lid up and the decayed body of the corpse partly exposed, the corpse's hand is sticking up and formed into a position to cause the shadow on the coffin lid to be a rabbit's head, as if the corpse were making a shadow puppet.

One thing specific about the music: In a key scene, the music is composed in part of a slowed down version of The Zombies' "She's Not There." If I were insane, I would take this as a personal message to me, because I am on record loving "She's Not There," and I spent the morning experiencing a slowed down piece of music (see below). In fact, as we were driving away from the ironworks, we were talking about the potential for slowing down other pieces of music. The Zombies' song was much less slowed down than the Beethoven however, which is now into its last half hour and must be evanescing into the sublime round about now.

UPDATE: Why a rabbit? I'm not positive it is a rabbit. It's a tiny detail. I'd have to see the movie again to check it out. But I note that there are at least two rabbit references in Kill Bill, Volume 1: "Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" and (in Japanese) "Time for the rabbit to come out of her hole" (at page 60 and 87 of the script found here). Ah, you figure it out!

"9 Beet Stretch" has reached the fourth movement. Beethoven's Ninth Symphony has been playing at the Kupfer Ironworks on the East Side of town (see previous post) since 8pm last night. It will end at 8pm tonight. I arrived around 11 and had roughly calculated that the long fourth movement would have begun. I could not decipher the ambient sound I was hearing, until the long silence set in. When the sound resumed, I knew it was the profound beginning of the fourth movement. Even the melody became perceptible. Here are some photos of the ironworks, where you should certainly go if you can make it to Madison before 8. The scene was arty and somber, but a party atmosphere should set in. They were setting up a barbecue of all things and there was evidence of some other refreshments.

Don't forget that elongated Beethoven thing! Discussed below, it's going on now, and up to 8 pm tonight. It's a big installation, but I don't think too many people know about it. It's free. Check it out. I will and will report back. If you're in Madison, you've got to go, even if just to check out the building and hear how the thing sounds for a couple minutes. Go to the Theo Kupfer Ironworks building at 149 Waubesa St. Where's that? Start going East on East Washington, and per Yahoo's instructions "go 2.1 miles, Turn on MILWAUKEE ST - go 0.2 mi, Turn on WAUBESA ST - go 0.2 mi, Arrive at 149 WAUBESA ST, MADISON." Now you can't say you didn't know how to get there.

Video on Demand ... "The Dalton Girls" ... "Born Rich" ... The Apprentice. I caught the documentary "Born Rich," which is playing on HBO on Demand. And let me just pause to say I love the whole video on demand technology--except the way on my service if you leave it on pause too long a too-happy female voice booms "Welcome to video on demand!" Since I pause a lot, leave the room, enter into conversations and so forth, that "Welcome!" voice is the least welcome thing on TV. But a little video on demand and you can't help wanting the future of TV to arrive quickly. Right now some of HBO, Cinemax, and Showtime is available free and some other things are available for a price, but why isn't every movie and TV show ever made available? Why isn't TV more like the Internet? Why can't I just watch any old episode of, say, Dobie Gillis or I'm Dickens, He's Fenster whenever I want? Why can't I sit down any night and call up, say, "The Dalton Girls"? (Althouse trivia experts should know that was the first movie I ever saw in the theater. According to an IMDB user summary it's "Just another 'B' western, except the outlaws are babes." I see the plot was "After the Dalton boys are killed by the law, one of the Dalton girls is forced to kill a lecherous mortician who tries to rape her. Being branded a murderess, the sisters follow in their brothers tracks and take up a life of crime." Hey, this was some 1950s "Thelma and Louise"! Hmmm ... I wonder if that shaped my whole life. And how bad were my parents to let me see that when I was six? Ah, don't worry, she's not going to get the mortician rape part. She'll just see a bunch of cowgirls. Like Sally Starr! She loves Sally Starr!)

"Born Rich" was a nice documentary, made by a born-rich guy who had access to other born-rich kids, because (as I learned in the documentary), born-rich people are an inbred subculture. They hang out with each other and interact with each other, in part because only another rich kid can understand the sorrows of inherited wealth. The rest of us can look on with horror, amusement, sympathy, or whatever we like, now that we have this film to watch.

There's a nice variety of rich kids to react in different ways to. And I must say one of the nicest ones was Ivanka Trump, which has to remove a layer of loathsomeness from Donald Trump. And here's a good article in today's NYT on the aftermath of The Apprentice, for those who are still wondering if Bill Rancic is actually going to be trusted to run that billion dollar Chicago construction project. ("This is a large and sophisticated project, and the job is like being the conductor of an orchestra ... I don't know how somebody can conduct the Chicago Symphony Orchestra if they've never gone to a concert before, and if they've never played any of the instruments.") Read about the complexity of the project, and consider how absurd it would be to only make $250,000 (Bill's new salary) for running it. So why didn't Trump pick a more practical project to put Bill in charge of? Are you kidding?

"I felt that this was a great opportunity to promote a great project," Mr. Trump said.

Well, isn't the whole TV show an infomercial for Trump's projects? He features one project or another not because it makes for a good prize or competition, but because he needs to advertise it, as the end of the finale show on Thursday made crashingly obvious.

Comparing campaign letters. In a seeming testament to my political moderation, today's mail brought envelopes from both the Democratic National Headquarters ("Bushspeak/What you hear isn't what you get") and the South Dakota Republican Party ("Tom Daschle is hoping you will throw this letter away..."). Well, that's fair warning not to open either letter, but I did anyway.

"Ann, not only is this a fight we CAN win ... it is a fight we MUST win." Thanks for the personal touch. Either letter might have said that, but that line is urging me to fund the fight against Daschle, for his "extreme partisanship and obstruction of President Bush's agenda." According to the SD Republican Party letter Daschle has a 59% disapproval rating among South Dakota voters, and somehow this should encourage me to send them money. If SD voters dislike him so much, presumably he'll lose.

The Democrat's letter, from Nancy Pelosi, is mellower than her previous missives. It studiously avoids using the words "lie," "lying," and "liar," and goes with "haven't been straight," "misled us," "made promises they haven't kept," "I'm going to tell you the truth," "misleading rhetoric," "empty promises," "credibility gap," "the truth is," "in fact..," "the truth is," "the stark reality is," "his rhetoric is far from reality," "Bush has said one thing and done another," "what's really going on," and "get the word out about the real President Bush." Well, that's nice. I hate overheated rhetoric, that is, I'm not fond of it. And these so polite Democrats are not just asking for money, they want me to sign a "Statement of Affirmation," which seems a bit creepy to me:

As a proud American and a loyal Democrat, I am today rejecting the politics of privilege for the few and callous neglect of the many, and affirming my belief:

In a government characterized by fairness that keeps its promises to its citizens

In a government strong enough and caring enough to promise "compassion" to those in greatest need and really mean it.

In the deep conviction that the most blessed and affluent democracy in the worlds history--one that can spend billions on war and the weapons of war--can also create jobs for those that want them, educate its young, care for its elderly and infirm, provide hope for its destitute and downtrodden, protect its environment and guarantee equal rights and opportunity for all its citizens.

"Affirmation"? "Blessed"? It's just politics, people, it's not a religion. And why doesn't this "affirmation" appear on the web anywhere (so I could link to it)? Insiders only? Afraid of mockery?

Signs of end times. It's the second to the last weekend of the Law School semester, and signs of the end abound:

Conlaw class was ten minutes shorter today, because I had the students do teaching evaluations. Conlaw class was more freewheeling today, because of the newfound freedom in knowing that anything that goes wrong now cannot be a source of criticism on the evaluations. I used that freedom to become distracted by a loud buzzing coming from a locked closet in the room. Don't we always fritter away our freedom? (The buzzing itself was a sign of Lord knows what).

Packing up my laptop and final editing project to head out for coffee, I caught a glimpse of the small coterie of lawprofs who were practicing a song and dance number for the Law Revue. The Law Revue is another sign of the end. It's nice that there are lawprofs willing to do a little song and dance on stage to demonstrate their funloving nature and eagerness to participate in a student activity. I'm not that nice or funloving or eager. But good luck to all! Actually, I have no idea how to make fun of the Law School and its faculty and its students without being mean and inappropriate. I don't see how you can pitch that humor on the right level. Either it will be unfunny and boring or it will be quite nasty and unpleasant. But, again, good luck! Comedy is difficult. A musical stage show is difficult. Yet every year we put on a show. I never attend, so maybe I'm wrong about the prospects for entertainment and good feelings. I hope so!

The Apprentice: Pre-scripting, Post-scripting, and Omarosing. Was The Apprentice scripted? In a way. The cast was chosen in part to provide entertainment as they interacted, and the competitions were scripted like an improvisation exercise, designed to maximize drama and interaction. Clearly, once the footage existed, stories were created through editing.

I think someone had to be keeping an eye on whether the emerging story was going to produce interesting enough footage and that probably led to giving some contestants some direction. For example, maybe three people believe they are seriously trying to get a business deal to work, but the fourth is told to go ahead and make trouble for them, by oh, maybe taking a nap on the floor or taking an important phone call and then ignoring it. Things needed to get out of control, chaos-making was needed. These people were able to make a practical plan and stick to it, but somehow, things always turned frantic. I think the producers kept an eye on who could be the best chaos maker. For a while it seemed like Sam, but clearly Omarosa got the part. She was obviously the star of the show. Bill "won" and has the job (presumably--though how many times did Trump assure him that he'd be somebody's underling, kept on a short leash?), but Omarosa is the one everyone wants to see more of. She could very well have perceived this opportunity on her own, however, and realized that she wasn’t going to win the actual competition or even that it wasn't worth winning, but that there was an alternative competition, that she could set the terms of, to become a big celebrity with a future in show business.

A general life principle can be extracted: When you are invited to play in someone else's game, identify a competition that you can win and win it. Let's just call that Omarosing.

Kwame, I told you to fire Omarosa. Well, I predicted the plot of the Apprentice finale, and I was wrong. (And I broke my vow too, for which I make no excuses.) But, I was right that the Jessica Simpson/celebrity golf tournament challenge was a big nothing, and I was right that what ought to have happened is that Kwame should have fired Omarosa. Trump was pretty clear that Kwame ought to have fired Omarosa, and he lost because he didn't. Kwame's response was that he didn't know he was allowed to fire her. Well, there's your key to winning The Apprentice, then, isn't it? You should have listened to me!

"Classic urban warfare." Jeffrey Gettleman writes a brilliant account, in today's NYT, of brilliantly successful urban warfare in Falluja. An excerpt:

One of the most important tools for this battle comes from the garden shed: sledgehammers. On Wednesday, marines punched "mouseholes," just big enough for gun barrels, in the brick walls of the homes they occupied. They also smashed windows to scatter shards of glass across the front steps.

"It's an early warning system," Capt. Shannon Johnson explained, as he crunched noisily across the glass, "something the old guys taught us."

Nearby, a squad of young men with crewcuts swung heavy hammers under a punishing sun. They were knocking down the low walls along the rooftops so they could move on catwalks from roof to roof.

"This is classic urban warfare," said Maj. Gen. Jim Mattis, commander of the First Marine Division. "It's all the stuff World War II taught us, along with Korea, Vietnam and Somalia. People will be studying Falluja for years to come."

"You're not listening." Kerry got testy at a City College event:

Retired college professor Walter Daum angrily accused [Kerry] of backing an imperialist policy in Iraq and called on him to demand the immediate withdrawal of U.S. troops.

"You voted for this," Daum shouted. As he spoke, a group stood silently and unfurled a large sign that read, "Kerry take a stand: Troops out now."

Exasperated, Kerry said at one point, "You're not listening."

Speaking with reporters afterward, Kerry argued that stability in Iraq is his top priority and dismissed the notion of withdrawing U.S. troops. He indicated he would support any request for more U.S. forces in Iraq. Bush, at his news conference this week, said he would support an increased U.S. military presence in Iraq. ...

"I think the vast majority of the American people understand that it's important to not just cut and run," Kerry said. "I don't believe in a cut-and-run philosophy."

Kerry, arguing that there are "very real differences" between him and Bush on Iraq, said, "I believe it is possible to reduce the cost and the burden and the risk to American soldiers."

"We shouldn't only be tough, we have to be smart. And there's a smarter way to accomplish this mission than this president is pursuing," he told reporters.

Well, what is it? If you still don't know what he would do differently from Bush, do you deserve to be snapped at for "not listening"?

The short answer about what to wear for spring. Here’s a nice set of essays in Black Table, all written by women on the subject of what men should wear for spring. The short answer is: no shorts.

And let me add: that goes double for the mailman. Could the Postal Service please ban shorts, at least unless the temperature is going to be in the 80s? I’m living in Wisconsin. There are maybe three months of the year when it is hot enough that there is a real comfort issue justifying the wearing of shorts. But the temperature goes into the 40s and guys start wearing shorts around here. Perhaps there's a belief that exposing oneself to cold is a demonstration of manliness. But the trouble is: shorts are children's clothes. There might be some sports exceptions there, but who is the best dressed man in sports? I mean, while playing. Clearly: Tiger Woods. Have you ever seen him in shorts?

Here are some choice words from Jessica Pressler’s Black Table essay:

Shorts.

Just say it: Shorts. The word itself is ugly. The lazy shh, the fat, gaseous "ort".

Shorts, of all kinds, are very, very wrong. They are unfortunate with hairy, knobbily legs shooting out of them, boring when covering the tiny bum of a skaterboader or indie rocker, and disturbing when pressed against a wide, flat ass. Most of all, of course, they are tragic when revealing ...

In a word: Shorts are pants, emasculated. Emasculating.

A woman who doesn't consider herself shallow may even find herself in the throes of SRS (Sudden Revulsion Syndrome) as the seasons change….

Funny Air America response to Drudge. (Via Instapundit.) Do I recognize the authorial voice that once gave life to The Yellow Press here in Madison, Wisconsin? I think I do!

This Liu-ser was ripping off our boss Evan Cohen big time (he can’t do that, that’s our job). Evan found out about it and he stopped payment on a check to keep Liu-cifer from ripping him off even more. You can touch Evan for the occasional meal or drinks but a million bucks is crossing the line. And if we ever get low on cash, we can always call Barbra Streisand. Or any of the Baldwins. Except Stephen.

So we got screwed, Liu’d, and tattooed. How Liu can you get? In Liu of payment. Liu’d and lascivious behavior. These write themselves. What we’re getting at is that we hate him.

Tainting the 9/11 commission's conclusions? Jim Rutenberg in today's NYT:

Democrats and Republicans alike have raised concerns about the degree to which [the 9/11] commission members are discussing their deliberations on television and, even, in newspaper columns — to the point that they are spinning their views like the politicians that many of them are ....

The accessibility of the commissioners to the news media, not to mention the openness of their views, is a departure from similar independent commissions of the past. Its members' openness troubles some officials here, who say they worry that it is giving the panel an edge that will taint its conclusions — especially when coupled with what some have called a partisan tone to members' questions at the hearings here.

"Taint"? Only just a worry that there might be a taint?? We are so far beyond mere taint, it seems pointless to pay any more attention to them than to the next political TV ad. It seems to me that some commission members are using that status to procure free airtime for what is essentially political advertising. Why should anyone take their conclusions seriously? What a shameful display!

Connecting Jon Peter Lewis to the right 60s pop star from Manchester. As noted last night, Quentin Tarantino likened JPL to 60s British pop star Freddie Garrity (of Freddie and the Dreamers). And I agree that Freddie was awfully geeky, in fact, way more geeky than JPL. And JPL isn't really more geeky than anyone since Freddie: David Byrne was geekier than JPL (and so were a lot of those 70s new wave guys). Freddie tied back to the Buddy Holly line of popdom, and in fact, emphasized his resemblance to Holly by wearing the same type of glasses. We know JPL's favorite 50s star is not Holly, but Elvis, based on key song choices, such as last night's Jailhouse Rock. His dance style is an homage to Elvis (even as it is a touching and open acknowledgement of the impossibility of being Elvis).

The 60s Manchester pop idol that JPL actually resembles, who was much less geeky then Freddie, was the teen-boyfriend cute Peter Noone--"Herman," of Herman's Hermits. Oh, how I loved Herman's Hermits. I still enjoy listening to their greatest hits CD. They should do a British Pop 60s night on American Idol so JPL can sing "I'm Into Something Good."

Manchester bands were an interesting contrast to the Liverpool (and London) bands in the 60s. For some reason, at that time, Manchester produced poppier bands. The greatest one was The Hollies. (How can you not enjoy a Hollies greatest hits CD? Look Through Any Window, Bus Stop, He Ain't Heavy He's My Brother, etc.). Another Manchester band was Wayne Fontana and the Mindbenders. I didn't care about them, but the Mindbenders had one truly sublime single after Fontana left the group. I'll never forget the single with the light blue label that I played over and over: "Groovy Kind of Love."

UPDATE: Perhaps a love of Buddy Holly rather than Elvis actually is the explanation of the difference between the Manchester and Liverpool bands of the 60s. The Beatles' love of Elvis is very well known. Freddie's connection to Holly is noted above. The Hollies connection to Holly is right there in the name. How about Herman's Hermits? One of their earliest album tracks was a perfect rendition of Holly's "Heartbeat," which was nice because they also had a hit called "Can't You Hear My Heartbeat?"

FURTHER UPDATE: And now JPL is gone! Goodbye, JPL!