tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post1383389268210457242..comments2024-03-28T14:25:25.193-05:00Comments on Althouse: "It’s this notion of this growing equality between husbands and wives having this paradoxical effect of growing inequality across households."Ann Althousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01630636239933008807noreply@blogger.comBlogger69125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-21559954944387680572016-02-29T17:37:11.237-06:002016-02-29T17:37:11.237-06:00Well, when I and my Lovely Bride married almost 34...Well, when I and my Lovely Bride married almost 34 years ago, I was a school teacher and she was finishing a degree in Education with a view to teach elementary school. She started a job that lasted 27 in a school district and I switched jobs and worked for the Federal government for fifteen years. I then returned to teaching and retired 10 years later.<br /><br />What does all this mean? Not a Hell of a lot. We married because we had decide we couldn't live without each other. Thirty-three plus years later with both of us retired, the feeling remains the same.MAJMikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02518049595313706775noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-32522448936090962082016-02-29T17:24:48.904-06:002016-02-29T17:24:48.904-06:00Of course, the main problem is that paying women m...Of course, the main problem is that paying women more has meant they simply pay men less. It's not like, Gee, we need to give them both $70k! It's more like, let's just give everyone $35k and let them find a mate.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16347252551647848502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-44976699174205668652016-02-29T13:44:54.858-06:002016-02-29T13:44:54.858-06:00"It’s this notion of this growing equality be..."It’s this notion of this growing equality between husbands and wives having this paradoxical effect of growing inequality across households."<br /><br />And even worse than that, associative mating will drive multi-generational inequality as well. <br /><br />The solution? We obviously we need a Handicapper General:<br /><br />https://archive.org/stream/HarrisonBergeron/Harrison%20Bergeron_djvu.txt <br /><br />Peterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16099940931064117337noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-7291275477592366112016-02-28T23:43:36.429-06:002016-02-28T23:43:36.429-06:00Just getting back from a long hiatus since my earl...Just getting back from a long hiatus since my earlier post, I was just teasing on the tiny house idea, as I know you follow and blog on newsworthy items on that topic. As to what do I save on, I have always lived well below my means. Investing right out of college, buying an affordable house, buying cars that last and holding them for most or all of their life, saving/investing any unforeseen income such as bonuses, incentives and such, not subscribing to cable tv, not spending on the latest fashion trend in clothing or housewares, keeping my vacations (so far) to domestic locations, and avoiding expensive restaurants as an everyday thing. Where I have spent quite a bit of money is for K-12 education in parochial schools and undergraduate college assistance for each of my three children. I did this on a single earner income, which allowed my wife to be a stay-at-home mom, and will soon be retired for two years at the end of May, at which time I will be turning 62.Dannohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03570137229911763191noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-38480612977171467172016-02-28T20:20:11.622-06:002016-02-28T20:20:11.622-06:00I'm not sure why this is surprising, Ann. It ...I'm not sure why this is surprising, Ann. It was all laid out in <i>The Bell Curve</i>.<br /><br />With as much attention as that book got, not an awful lot of people seemed to have read it.<br /><br />In the media, that book was about black people being dumber than white people. In reality, that book was about assortative mating and the resulting cognitive stratification.Gabrielhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18188485747371986575noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-51820306485777729342016-02-28T19:30:12.172-06:002016-02-28T19:30:12.172-06:00"You are right about lawyers & their mati..."You are right about lawyers & their mating ways, Professor...."<br /><br />I don't know why you are confining my comments to lawyers. I didn't. My experience in college and all of my life until my late 20s had nothing to do with lawyers. My sense of how my generation thought about these things isn't about lawyers. Ann Althousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01630636239933008807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-18914127151357414782016-02-28T17:08:08.398-06:002016-02-28T17:08:08.398-06:00But when she's a doctor, that's really not...<i>But when she's a doctor, that's really not good - that's 10 years of med school and training that is going to waste. And another doctor missing from the health system.</i><br /><br />Most of the women doctors I know spend child years working part time and some take those years off but keep up licenses, etc. Some marry cops and EMTs and firemen who work 3 day weeks, like my son. They can work child care pretty well and most of those macho male occupations are not into jealousy about money.<br /><br />One of my medical students a few years ago, who was absolutely gorgeous, married her high school boyfriend who was an auto mechanic. I assumed he had talents I had not observed.Michael Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18127450762129879267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-22985569168780505692016-02-28T17:05:37.074-06:002016-02-28T17:05:37.074-06:00Smart men want smart women, but they rarely care a...<i>Smart men want smart women, but they rarely care about credentials.</i><br /><br />Will third this. <br /><br />My husband has two master's degrees and makes a great living as an executive in a midsize tech company who consults/writes/speaks on the side. He could have chosen a similar woman--he's handsome and funny and accomplished and surrounded by single thirtysomething women with impressive educations and careers--but he didn't want the DINK or nanny+housekeeper+gardener lifestyle. He wanted a smart, well-read woman who can carry on an intelligent conversation, serve as his number one advisor and sounding board and who loves to keep a pleasant home and raise happy, grounded children. He doesn't think that my not having finished college detracts from my ability to do this.<br /><br />I have known lots of marriages like this, even in my generation (born in 1980).I Have Misplaced My Pantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14325799399154580481noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-90901571728890342082016-02-28T15:28:46.511-06:002016-02-28T15:28:46.511-06:00This means things like fair wage laws, better supp...<i> This means things like fair wage laws, better support of workers, reasonable childcare policies, parental leave for women and men, and even earlier down the road, more emphasis on education and employable skills. </i><br /><br />That top-rated comment is a perfect illustration of how people rely on bromides to guide them in their view of the world even when the bromides are silly.<br /><br />Childcare policies require cheaply paid women to supervise children. This is of little help for low income women. We need to understand this from a systemic view - government subsidizing cheap child care so that poor women can go to work to earn low wages isn't an actual solution to a problem for that child care subsidy has to come out of your taxes.<br /><br />Parental leave requires an army of temporary workers who fill in for a few months and then get fired. I've always been struck by the injustice of having to fire a temporary worker who is filling in for a woman on maternity leave when the employer is actually happier with the work of the temp than the woman who is on maternity leave. Any sensible person should realize that you never give your boss, or anyone, an opportunity to compare you to someone else if your boss has it within his authority to fire you because they prefer the other. You're much better off not allowing the boos to have that information. Or your lover. Or your friend. Back to the point - while parental leave is good for the employee, how is it good for the replacement? Does this do anything to create a more equal society?<br /><br />More emphasis on education. Again, missing the mark. Labor economists study the returns to education and the studies do show returns. However, when cognitive ability is controlled in these studies, the returns to credentialed education fall drastically. Employers want to hire intelligent people. Your credential in feminist oppression studies, while education of a sort, is of absolutely zero value to an employee. Putting people on the education treadmill is no magic solution. Learning marketable skills will help, but even here, returns to cognitive ability are higher than returns to skills.<br /><br />I have no idea what fair wage laws are, because the definition usually depends on the person's ideology. To me a fair wage is an employer offers me a wage, if I accept the job offer, then we've struck a fair bargain. Seems fair to me. I also have no idea what "better support of workers" means, so I can't pick that apart.<br /><br />This comment being top-rated is a sad testimony to people simply relying on ideological talking points, most of which are nonsensical and most of which are a form of wishful thinking, in place of analyzing a problem. Of the suggested solution, I don't see merit in any of them being useful to address the problem of inter-family inequality.TangoManhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18228734445464184781noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-19841229971940153432016-02-28T14:58:13.399-06:002016-02-28T14:58:13.399-06:00@Althouse,
Are you 80 years old? You're sayin...@Althouse,<br /><br /><i>Are you 80 years old? You're saying something that the people I knew in college — 40 years ago — would have scoffed at. Maybe I'm in an elite segment of American culture, but I think that guy's friends would think why are you marrying her?</i> <br /><br />Well, I'm almost 60, and, unlike you as a NYC lawyer & an academic, I've worked in IT since 1980, a profession which is about 85% male, and I've heard plenty about what men want in a woman.<br /><br />You are right about lawyers & their mating ways, Professor, But lawyers are, of all the professions I have serviced as an IT consultant since 1991, the most given to be deliberate social climbers. Lawyer men, & especially lawyer women, really do think about these things & choose their mates, just like their cars, their private schools, and their neighborhoods, accordingly. Most of the rest of humanity, aside from sugar babies & golddiggers, not so much.YoungHegelianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02723316130501823658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-35196555600181416722016-02-28T14:25:40.810-06:002016-02-28T14:25:40.810-06:00"What do you save on? It could be travel, but...<br />"What do you save on? It could be travel, but some people put travel first and scrimp on everything else. It could be the house or the car or clothes. It could be eating out. Save where it works for you. Do it yourself on the things that make sense for you (e.g., cooking, childcare, housework). It's about being rational and not accepting any of the choices as given and recognizing that all you really have is your time. What are you doing with it? Trading it for money? Then throwing the money away on stuff? When are you really living? Why are you not living and loving life nearly all the time?"<br /><br /><br />I love this. Bircheshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00045640752795693223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-78406673753216584452016-02-28T13:55:26.749-06:002016-02-28T13:55:26.749-06:00"Smart men want smart women, but they rarely ..."Smart men want smart women, but they rarely care about credentials."<br /><br />So. Much. This.holdfasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15206911009978107266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-65888799631371208212016-02-28T13:49:54.253-06:002016-02-28T13:49:54.253-06:00Living in a town with a lot of these assortive mar...Living in a town with a lot of these assortive marriages I'd note two other problems:<br /><br />1) It's really hard to run a family when both adults are working crazy banker/lawyer/young doctor hours. Even if you have a nanny, gardener and housecleaner, those people need to be managed, paid, replaced etc., and the kids activities need to be organized, etc.<br /><br />2) After a while, one spouse will tend to drop out of the workforce to stay home and run the family. That's usually the woman. When that woman is a lawyer, ad exec or banker, that's fine - who cares about lawyers, ad execs and bankers? But when she's a doctor, that's really not good - that's 10 years of med school and training that is going to waste. And another doctor missing from the health system. holdfasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15206911009978107266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-14159956956068926332016-02-28T13:45:58.100-06:002016-02-28T13:45:58.100-06:00First, of course the author's prescription to ...First, of course the author's prescription to fix all these ills is MOAR SOCIALISM Just like the cure for GlowBall Worming is MOAR SOCIALISM! And the cure for everything else from toe fungus to hemorrhoids is MOAR SOCIALISM!holdfasthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15206911009978107266noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-20632607139998289412016-02-28T13:18:20.735-06:002016-02-28T13:18:20.735-06:00After two failed marriages, I made a deliberate se...After two failed marriages, I made a deliberate search for a woman whose earning potential was at least as great as mine. We have swapped places, from time to time being the greatest earner. Right now I bring in more. We have now been married 31 years.ken in txhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14345764031059905578noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-16357855221179641602016-02-28T12:29:14.991-06:002016-02-28T12:29:14.991-06:00"Feminism" is something new in the world..."Feminism" is something new in the world, that seeks to rationalize the most fundamental of human relations. Rather like the French Revolution. It should not be surprising if the results turn out to be somewhat different than advertised.<br /><br />Women supposed, that since men controlled everything, the things men had must be the best things to have. So they set about getting those things, with considerable success. They neglected the facts that<br /> a) Men aren't all that happy with those things. They mostly get them to attract women. And in any case, <br /> b) Women aren't men.<br /><br />Men and women are two different kinds of thing, that require each other in order to reproduce. The asymmetry of their reproductive roles leads to asymmetry in many other things. At the same time, there are limits to how different the sexes can become, given that they share all but one chromosome.<br /><br />It is conceivable that the advances we have made, as a society, in the control of material goods, have altered the calculus of reproduction to the point where it is evolutionarily sound for women to behave more like men. But if that were the case, the evidence would be that such women have more children. What seems more likely is that the female genome is optimal for the traditional society in which it evolved. It didn't matter much what women wanted, when they couldn't get it, so it was not shaped much by evolutionary pressure. But they can get it now, and evolution will take note. <br /><br />Where it will all lead, I can't even imagine. I kind of suspect that people will revert to being people. Either by our society moving back toward normal relations between the sexes, or by our society being replaced by one with normal relations between the sexes.<br /><br />Jupiterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13008508862847561845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-53170418486516199822016-02-28T12:09:27.677-06:002016-02-28T12:09:27.677-06:00" the girls who don't keep up with the gu..." the girls who don't keep up with the guys they want to marry are mostly going to lose to the women who do. "<br /><br />My first wife was a college student with me and we were very young. I went to medical school and she wanted to be the stay-at-home wife with a nice house. I worked after class to make extra money and she had a nice house and a maid by the time I was a third year surgery resident. <br /><br />What broke up that marriage was my ambition to go east for my surgery training and maybe an academic career. At that time an academic career was out unless you trained in one of the big east coast programs. She would not leave LA. So, we stayed and I finished and went into practice in a suburb where she had everything she wanted.<br /><br />A few years later, it wasn't enough and we divorced. I married the proverbial nurse. We had blended families and lots of stress and split up #2.<br /><br />Now, 25 years later, we are back together. Wife #1 is a friend and had a career in banking after the divorce but I always resented (even though I didn't realize how much) giving up ambition to suit her wishes.<br /><br />Life is what happens when you are making plans.Michael Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18127450762129879267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-74812361173231572862016-02-28T12:08:45.828-06:002016-02-28T12:08:45.828-06:00Everything went downhill after women got the vote....Everything went downhill after women got the vote.Char Char Binks, Esq.https://www.blogger.com/profile/10649888089413308406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-77247819552799228452016-02-28T12:03:49.900-06:002016-02-28T12:03:49.900-06:00Smart men want smart women, but they rarely care a...Smart men want smart women, but they rarely care about credentials.Freeman Hunthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16202310075717963694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-87645830450969504102016-02-28T11:53:50.060-06:002016-02-28T11:53:50.060-06:00'Said University of Wisconsin sociology profes...'Said University of Wisconsin sociology professor Christine Schwartz, quoted in a NYT article titled "Marriage Equality Grows, and So Does Class Divide."'<br /><br />What I want to know, is when did we, as a society, agree to be taxed so that something called a "sociology professor" might exist and even flourish? Who supposed that professors of sociology were a public good? Jupiterhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13008508862847561845noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-25743924653416948682016-02-28T11:50:29.701-06:002016-02-28T11:50:29.701-06:00I saved aggressively during my working career, cog...I saved aggressively during my working career, cognizant that the future was uncertain. When the future intruded, it allowed me to retire. I'm spending more in retirement than I did while working. Not extravagantly, that's not me. But I've got the money to enjoy interesting pursuits.<br /><br />"Live like no one else now, so you can live like no one else later."Original Mikehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01714345479248980398noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-22476886693824413052016-02-28T11:30:35.615-06:002016-02-28T11:30:35.615-06:00A doctor I knew made the joke that doctors marry b...A doctor I knew made the joke that doctors marry bar maids, call girls, or nurses because those are the women they spend the most time with, and propinquity is the dominant factor in choosing a mate..........Pehaps this is an unintended consequence of opening up professional careers to women. Doctors still marry nurses, but the nurses have become doctors. Ditto with legal secretaries who have become lawyers.....This is nothing new. For many centuries aristocrats married aristocrats. It was against the law for them not to marry aristocrats. For the first two generations the Rothschilds not only married rich women, they married rich Rothschilld relatives. It helps to keep the money in the family if you marry within the family........The incest laws should be relaxed. It would be so great if Donald Trump could find a mate whose genes were comparable to his own. Maybe if he becomes president, he can push towards an easement. There was a precedent set by FDR who kept his marriage and some of his affairs within the family.Williamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07837540030934495651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-51563983358595921992016-02-28T11:26:35.989-06:002016-02-28T11:26:35.989-06:00I've known a few MD couples and always got the...I've known a few MD couples and always got the vibe that they didn't like each other much. They did enjoy the status of being Mr. & Ms. MD and were fiercely concentrated on raising successful children, but I saw few signs of the simple affectionate exchanges that are the tell of a happy marriage. As has been noted by others, I think a healthy relationship is one where there is the flexibility to bring different things at different times to the relationship as needed. And, hopefully, YH can introduce me to that waitress.The Cracker Emcee Refulgenthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14092601135276316645noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-16505255746749875132016-02-28T11:19:08.463-06:002016-02-28T11:19:08.463-06:00Over 40% of kids are born to single parents. Marr...Over 40% of kids are born to single parents. Marriage is getting to be an institution of the upper income. Lot of factors that go into that but the culture is what it is with illegitimacy rates, divorce rates, etc. Soon many people will stop going to college since it's not worth it for most people. College and marriage will be for the upper income. <br /><br />But people will still be having sex and kids, but the fertility rate will decrease to European levels. And so will the attendance of church. We'll have a secular society with low employment, low income, low births, low marriage, high crime and high debt. It will be the worst of Europe and Africa.<br /><br />mcculloughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03168402889404727565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-2441486384619205622016-02-28T11:15:25.532-06:002016-02-28T11:15:25.532-06:00When I was working I would semi-jocularly state th...When I was working I would semi-jocularly state that one of my goals in life was to be the secondary breadwinner. My wife was a professional as well, and in no way was I threatened by the thought of her making more than me. (Never happened, BTW -- darn it) I find it astonishing when I meet highly accomplished men who see a higher-salaried wife as somehow a bad thing. The most recent case is a gent who's president of a large division. But then, he's a tri-athlete so maybe it's just a competitive thing. He won't let her win when they run or cycle either. Robt Chttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10908620589286432142noreply@blogger.com