3 સપ્ટેમ્બર, 2026

Unsaid things.

That's a favorite tag of mine and I've even blogged about the tag.

In 2014, I said: "I feel that I've found the psychic key to my favorite tag: 'unsaid things.'... Did you know that before I started blogging I believed myself to be a person without political opinions? I used to read the New York Times every day and feel that I had no opinion. It was such a distinctive feeling — no opinion was my opinion — that for a while, to counteract it, I challenged myself, upon reading at least one article a day, to arrive at an opinion. What do I think of that? In blogging, early on, I had to tell myself to stop before moving to the next item and write one more sentence. You have to say something about that. I had to make it a discipline: To write one more thing...."

And in another 2014 post, I wrote: "Unsaid things is one of my favorite topics, and things that fall into this category are things that, aptly enough, most people would leave unsaid. There's a convention in human society not to outline the secret motives of others. As long as someone hasn't actually said something, you ought not to act as though you know what that thing is. But I'm here to transgress on that convention. I think I can and should do it...." (7 reasons why are said at the link but I will leave them unrepeated here.)

So naturally, I'm powerfully drawn to this article by Ariana Eunjung Cha in The Washington Post: "The 'Gen Z stare' — and the decline of saying things out loud/We’re speaking fewer words every year. Scientists worry what that’s doing to our brains" (gift link).

First, I don't like the focus on the number of words. What matters is the number (and substance) of thoughts expressed. If young people are staring before speaking, maybe they are collecting their thoughts and deciding what is worth saying. Maybe they are choosing their words and achieving concision, dispensing with blabby intros and weasel words and insincere pleasantries. That takes more brain work than just saying more words. 

But the article pretty quickly moves on to the old "Bowling Alone" topic: We're spending less time in the physical presence of other humans. "The Gen Z stare" entails face-to-face conversation, but I think what is happening is that a person who mostly communicates through texting feels normal staring blankly while thinking of what to type. If they haven't worked on presenting a sociable face to the world and they display the same facial behavior out in public, they have the distinctive look that's insultingly called "the Gen Z stare."

But is that a symptom of low cognitive development?  The article says: "A live conversation places particular demands on working memory and attention. You have to keep track of what another person has said, decide how to respond and listen as you formulate what comes next. Texting and email relieve some of that pressure. A message can be considered, revised and re-revised before it is sent; the conversation itself remains on the screen, eliminating much of the need to remember what came before."

I thought this article was going to be about the way people are self-censoring and making themselves bland. The headline refers to "the decline of saying things out loud." But if it only means people are writing instead of talking, it's an entirely different question. It's a very old question. It's Plato, in "Phaedrus," quoting Socrates:
You know, Phaedrus, that is the strange thing about writing, which makes it truly correspond to painting. The painter’s products stand before us as though they were alive. But if you question them, they maintain a most majestic silence. It is the same with written words. They seem to talk to you as though they were intelligent, but if you ask them anything about what they say from a desire to be instructed they go on telling just the same thing forever.

That's the ultimate in unsaid things: a book.  

48 ટિપ્પણીઓ:

Dave Begley કહ્યું...

After an Omaha Public Power District Board meeting, I tried to engage in a merits debate with Creighton undergrads about CAGW and the need to close OPPD's North Omaha coal-fired power plant. Their response was, "I won't engage."

They certainly got that from their Leftist professor.

So, college students who are supposed to be living in the world of ideas won't debate. They have their strongly held opinions and won't change them.

For me, a big part of college was about debate and exploring new ideas. That's not the case today. Indoctrination is the game.

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

One of the most annoying things at work since 2022 is people are addicting to texting aka IMs. I'm known as "odd old guy" at work because I'm constantly calling people up and demanding to talk.

The youngsters would rather spend 5 minutes texting about a subject than have a 1 minute phone call.

gilbar કહ્યું...
આ ટિપ્પણી લેખક દ્વારા દૂર કરવામાં આવી છે.
Jamie કહ્યું...

My family has always been champions of not saying things. After my brief youthful first marriage, though, my parents prevailed on me to go to therapy (CBT, thank goodness, though I don't know if they researched the therapist's philosophy of treatment first or just got lucky), and I became the family scold, more or less, insisting on talking about all the things we'd always left unsaid.

I still do it, and it still makes my mother uncomfortable. I have at least toned down both my language choices and my volume.

gilbar કહ્યું...

..college students who are supposed to be living in the world of ideas won't debate. They have their strongly held opinions and won't change them..

You cannot reason someone out of something he or she was not reasoned into.
Think i'm kidding?
try to reason a tiktoker out of "Lindsay didn't do it!"
try to reason rcola out of "The JOOZE!! THE JOOZE!! THE JOOZE!"

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

BTW, a lot of IM programs are slow - our is. So, you wait there while the computer screen says "So and so is typing" - its like torture. That's probably why young people pause, they're used to slowly, very slowly, expressing their thoughts. Or waiting for the IM Program to show what's been said.

CJinPA કહ્યું...

"First, I don't like the focus on the number of words. What matters is the number (and substance) of thoughts expressed."

There was a brief time about a decade ago when the NYT was trying to make the "word deficit" the next Racial Disparity to Worry About -- black children were exposed to many fewer words at home than white children and it affected their cognitive development.

One response was NYC schools sending staff to homes to assess and address these situations.

So, some folks out there are focusing on the number of words.

Aggie કહ્યું...

What parent hasn't been sitting together with their teens and their friends, seeing them engrossed in their phones and slowly realizing that they're texting back and forth about you?

Smart phones have allowed us to disengage selectively, self-isolate at will. The blank stare is a sign of unrecognized rudeness, some of it not even recognized by the offending person. It's not as if it's just unintentional, it's a case of it not even occurring to them that it's rude. That part is unsaid, too.

100 years ago we would have called them 'slack-jawed yokels', or maybe just a dozen years ago, on The Simpsons.

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

True motivations that are left unsaid and not pointed out. Well, that sounds like American politicians. Who knew until Tucker came along that Ted Cruz's true motivation for being a Senator was to "help israel"?

I wonder if that's why Romney ran for POTUS. How many knew that he was a great personal friend of Netenyahu and they worked for the same hedge fund? When Oct 7th happened Romney flew to Israel and gave Netanyahu some sympathy and dougnuts (or something equally dumb).

Ann Althouse કહ્યું...

"The youngsters would rather spend 5 minutes texting about a subject than have a 1 minute phone call."

They have a record of what was said. That can be useful, if their work is questioned or if they have a problem with you.

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

Of course, the left are the masters of disguising their true motivations. Pretty much everything they do is fake and designed to gain and keep power. Or they're using the "salami technique". Back in the 90s it was "Why we're not in favor of open borders, why we just want to be fair to the immigrants". And now they've dropped the mask, and are demanding no enforcement of the immigration laws and for illegals being allowed to vote.

Ann Althouse કહ્યું...

"They have a record of what was said. That can be useful, if their work is questioned or if they have a problem with you."

You probably don't look at TikTok but you should get up to speed with what George Stern is talking about: https://www.tiktok.com/@georgesternleadership

Ann Althouse કહ્યું...

"What parent hasn't been sitting together with their teens and their friends, seeing them engrossed in their phones and slowly realizing that they're texting back and forth about you?"

Ha ha. Back in the old days, we had ESP for that.

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

"They have a record of what was said. That can be useful, if their work is questioned or if they have a problem with you."

They must have been talking to you. That's their excuse. But they're college educated professionals, and they should be able to remember a 1 minute conversation. And if its truly important i will draft up a Record of discussion and send it to them.

Ann Althouse કહ્યું...

"There was a brief time about a decade ago when the NYT was trying to make the "word deficit" the next Racial Disparity to Worry About -- black children were exposed to many fewer words at home than white children and it affected their cognitive development."

Dwarfing of the soft variables.

Ann Althouse કહ્યું...

I think lots of kids are hearing mindless chitter chatter. The same fewer words over and over in short simple sentences and fragments. Silence would be better.

Jamie કહ્યું...

"There was a brief time about a decade ago when the NYT was trying to make the "word deficit" the next Racial Disparity to Worry About"

I was thinking about that study - the "million-word gap," about children's exposure to books from birth to age 5. I just stuck it into Google and this (in part) is what came out:

"Never read to: ~4,662 words
1–2 times per week: ~63,570 words
3–5 times per week: ~169,520 words
Daily: ~296,660 words
Five books a day: ~1,483,300 words"

Gemini did not mention the racial disparity, but I remember its being a primary focus when these stats first came out.

The remedy was supposed to be increased access to children's books (I'm morally certain that Dolly's Imagination Library was at least influenced by this study) and home visits to assess mothers' (ok, parents') habits of reading and talking to their infants. Of course it doesn't scale. Also of course, it didn't disentangle things like hearing the same hundred words (including expletives) constantly, reading the same books constantly (which most very young children love), what the difference is between direct parental engagement with a child and plunking the child down in front of Blue's Clues and its ilk for hours a day (or, these days, handing a 2-year-old a screen with Miss Rachel on it - did I get that right?)...

I used to keep up a line of patter to all my kids from birth onward, whatever I was doing, wherever we were - in the grocery store, in the car, cleaning the kitchen. I don't see a lot of parents of babies talking to their babies in public these days.

Jamie કહ્યું...

Huh. It seems I was on the same general page as our host.

Leslie Graves કહ્યું...

If you are a reader, and you are reading someone who cues things up, but then doesn't write that last sentence...it's fun to say to yourself, "And I know what your next sentence would have said, if you had typed it up." You feel like you know, but you're not quite sure. I like being in that state of some puzzlement.

wildswan કહ્યું...

Isn't this frustration with a book's refusal to answer the basis of tradition in the West anyhow. We read the Iliad and we say: Don't you feel sorry for the people of Troy facing you, O man-killing Achilles, those people watching their city burn, becoming exiles? But Achilles just does it again.
But then Virgil writes a sequel which says all the unsaids. We hear the sadness of the exiles, then we see them finding a new home and, incredibly, they found the Eternal City, Rome. For a thousand years people read these two books. But what does it mean to read a book and then read the unsaids? Virgil never says until Dante, lost in a dark savage place, finds Virgil by his side offering to be his guide. "Are you that poet who expanded what we can find words for and showed me how to write in a beautiful way, in a way beyond mere useful accounting. O, save me from the beasts that keep from my heart's desire." Virgil says: "You cannot climb the beautiful mountain that seem so close. You must take another way; and I will go with you and be your guide through the land of ancient lamentation, through the land where souls learn to struggle for the right, to the land of heart's desire." And Dante, having read Virgil believes this incredible offer and walks with Virgil right in through a door clearly labelled: " Abandon all hope you who enter here." And later gets to Heaven and comes back to describe it.
A consecutive literary tradition says the unsaid. You have to ask what are the unsaids in the American tradition as of today? Are we more threatened by China, by Big Banks, by AI demons, or by pridefully ignorant, hate-filled fools who have destroyed the teaching of our own traditions?


MadisonMan કહ્યું...

Scientists Worry

Meh. I am unpersuaded by worry-worts.

MadisonMan કહ્યું...

..and let me add: I, too, enjoy listening to George Stern take down bad Managers!

n.n કહ્યું...

Judge people by the content, not quantity of their words, the amplitude of their speech.

Quaestor કહ્યું...

"That takes more brain work than just saying more words."

What did Leonidas say to Mardonius at Thermopylae? Molon labe?

grimson કહ્યું...

While I probably prefer written communication (more care can go into making it clear and so easier to understand, plus it provides a written record), I agree we lose something when relying on it to a high degree, not only cognitively, but emotionally. Plus, there have been occasions where I have read a transcript but later realized after listening to the passage in the speaker's voice that their basic point is not what I thought from just reading the transcript.

Lazarus કહ્યું...

My latest book is "Unsaid Things." All of the pages are blank. Use the link to buy from Amazon.

Kirk Parker કહ્યું...

Lazarus, your book is entirely plagiarized from "Famous Italian War Heroes"

Ann Althouse કહ્યું...

"If you are a reader, and you are reading someone who cues things up, but then doesn't write that last sentence...it's fun to say to yourself, "And I know what your next sentence would have said, if you had typed it up." You feel like you know, but you're not quite sure. I like being in that state of some puzzlement."

Another way that can play out is that the reader feels that HE has generated an additional idea and feels good about himself.

From the standpoint of the writer, I often feel that to write one more sentence is to sledgehammer the idea that has already been conveyed and that's it's better to leave it unsaid so the reader can have the feeling of thinking it.

That can be a sly trick of the propagandist!

Wilbur કહ્યું...

grimson said...
While I probably prefer written communication (more care can go into making it clear and so easier to understand, plus it provides a written record), I agree we lose something when relying on it to a high degree, not only cognitively, but emotionally. Plus, there have been occasions where I have read a transcript but later realized after listening to the passage in the speaker's voice that their basic point is not what I thought from just reading the transcript.

I believe that occurs occasionally in the comments here, where the written word fails to convey the spirit or inflection of the voice in the commenter's head.

baghdadbob કહ્યું...

One of my least favorite reactions to a subject is the unsaid-said thing "I have no words." Have words. Have debates. Try to defend your position, and if you can't, consider changing your position. And if you are incapable of engaging, well, I have no words.

Quaestor કહ્યું...

Kirk Parker writes, "Lazarus, your book is entirely plagiarized from 'Famous Italian War Heroes.'"

There's some serious ink invested in Giuseppe Garibaldi.

R C Belaire કહ્યું...

Texting is the way to go IMO. I'm a >75 y.o. and despise phone conversations longer than 30 seconds. Put it in writing! Most of my texts are created via a laptop app whereby I can massage the text to get it "just right."

Josephbleau કહ્યું...

“ From the standpoint of the writer, I often feel that to write one more sentence is to sledgehammer the idea that has already been conveyed and that's it's better to leave it unsaid so the reader can have the feeling of thinking it.”

Large language models have an “end” token in their vocabulary. When the model is predicting the most likely next token in its answer conditional on all previous tokens, it will eventually select “end” and the model will shut up and close its answer. It is a very interesting token.

bagoh20 કહ્યું...

Reading and writing are pleasurable to me, but I'm pretty uncomfortable with most verbal conversation. First, there is competition for who gets to speak and who gets heard. Second, when writing, I often change my opinion about what I'm writing in the middle of it and rewrite it better. Speaking delivers more poorly built ideas, and nobody ever says, "Forget what I just said, I meant this..."

bagoh20 કહ્યું...

Email is my favorite method of communicating. The record is permanent, and I often forget the details of things discussed, so I can reread them and be right back where I was. Also the option to read it and respond when I'm ready to is a great advantage. Much more efficient communication than speaking.

rcommal કહ્યું...

Right, but use that stare on them when they speak. Now, THAT they often see as being rude, or themselves as not being “heard.”

From personal experience, many do not consider turnabout as fair play. I have no use or respect for that.

Narr કહ્યું...

I'm a text guy all the way when I have a choice (and despite my lovely speaking voice).

Imagine this place in verbal form . . . ugh.

Whatever happened to the Prof's podcasts, anyway?

Off to YouTube now, where I'll try to answer my own question.
(Do I contradict myself? Very well . . .)

Smilin' Jack કહ્યું...

“ It is the same with written words. They seem to talk to you as though they were intelligent, but if you ask them anything about what they say from a desire to be instructed they go on telling just the same thing forever.
That's the ultimate in unsaid things: a book. “

Good grief, are you still using those dead tree things? Modern books give you a gloss on any word or phrase just by tapping on it. If you want more, another click or two takes you to the relevant Wikipedia article. You can even chat with God about it, and unlike the old gods AI will always answer you.

Poor Plato missed out on all that. But on the bright side, he did have slaves.

Howard કહ્યું...

**Letters I've written, never meaning to send**

I always interpreted this as what one mutters under their breath so as to not further trigger a Karen

Meade કહ્યું...

“There's a convention in human society not to outline the secret motives of others. As long as someone hasn't actually said something, you ought not to act as though you know what that thing is. But I'm here to transgress on that convention. I think I can and should do it...."

One thing I love, when watching on tv with you the Brewers play the Cubs, is when between pitches the camera focuses up close and personal on a player or manager’s face and you verbalize the person’s unsaid thoughts, dreams, insights, fears, feelings, and opinions. Especially when that person is Craig Counsell, traitor/manager of the Cubs and especially when he is scratching his head, or rubbing his head, or rolling his head, or losing his head. And by head I mean, the game.

Leora કહ્યું...

I suspect a large portion of Gen Z is hearing impaired from headphone use.

boatbuilder કહ્યું...

"I used to read the New York Times every day and feel that I had no opinion."

Really? I cannot even imagine that. I have had a distinct opinion about just about everything I have read, including the backs of cereal boxes, since I was 10 years old. And my opinion about what I read in the NYT, more often than not, was "this smells like BS. What is really going on and why are they presenting it in this oddly limited way?"

I suppose that the ability to not have an opinion (or the belief in that ability) is what allows you to peruse the publications you do and present them to us from a (mostly--don't kid yourself) neutral perspective. I know I couldn't do it.

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

The problem in business, is you need to hash things out and both sides need to understand what needs to be done. Too often cryptic IM's can be misinterpeted. And its much easier to explain something verbally in response to "Do you mean this way?" And its much easier to brainstorm with someone and find the best way.

Of course if all you're doing is giving yes or no responses "Hey do have time for lunch today?" then text is better.

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

Thune has just said "The Republicans might lose the senate", leaving unsaid what he really means. Which is "We're losing the Senate. Thank God my plan worked. We're so much happier being a minority. Now we can let Schumer stop Trump".

john mosby કહ્યું...

I've received blank stares from people of all ages. Usually when I say something they don't understand, or don't want to understand. I have also given out my share of blank stares, hopefully for the first category. As Begley said, the Z'ers learned this behavior from somewhere.

Think of the scenario many commenters here have related some version of: you're in a group who think you're a lefty, then you suddenly say something nice about Trump. You probably got at least one blank stare out of the bunch, even/especially if they were boomers.

Is it rudeness or politeness? If you can't say something nice....CC, JSM

john mosby કહ્યું...

Ocean: "The problem in business, is you need to hash things out and both sides need to understand what needs to be done. "

Yes, and if someone can't distil their recommendation to a couple of well-crafted sentences, that effort is doomed.

And once you have those few gems of writing, why not disseminate them instantly, rather than having a feudal pyramid of cave-fire squats?

Certainly you experienced this at Wannsee. CC, JSM

Josephbleau કહ્યું...

The last realm of spoken language is in trial court, and its precursor, high school and college debate. That’s where being able to think on your feet matters. If scotus judges start asking questions by email instead of requiring opponents to argue in person we are screwed.

RCOCEAN II કહ્યું...

Yes, and if someone can't distil their recommendation to a couple of well-crafted sentences, that effort is doomed.

You literally have zero idea what you're talking about. I doubt the scientists in the working on the current advanced drone project or CPAs doing an audit of GM (to pick two at random) could get their work done with a "few well chosen sentences".

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