"... do their own laundry, organize their own lives. That’s changing, according to Monteigne Long, a co-founder of Campus Mom, who said the parents of this generation of college students are much more involved in their children’s day-to-day lives.... Campus Mom offers 'holistic wellness check-ins,' laundry services and sorority recruitment support packages, sent to the sisters to up a child’s odds of acceptance. Carrie Eckhardt, the Bama Mama, will clean students’ dorm rooms and check in if parents haven’t heard from their child in a few days ('just pop in and say hi, and take a picture and send it to their mom').This month, one parent told Eckhardt it seemed like her daughter was going out to a bar every night. But she had opted to stay in, and the mother wanted to celebrate the decision with a 'stay-in basket' that included her favorite ice cream, cookie and socks...."
From "Worried About Your College Kid? Now You Can Hire a Local Mom. At some universities, parents can pay to make sure their children are cared for, the way they were back home" (NYT gift link).
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६३ टिप्पण्या:
God forbid the precious little babies should ever have to fend for themselves or lift a finger.
…in Boston rich families buy their kids condos in concierge buildings so the kids have service. Ritz Carlton Residences is ‘Assisted living’…
Needed after their Islamic lobby - blame Israel for everything genocide class.
My parents didn't do a damn thing for me in college. We paid for our daughters tution, and she even had a car thanks to us. But me? I was able to go live at home while on summer vacation and Christmas vacation, but otherwise I had to pay for tution and room and board.
But then i grew up riding a bike without a helmet. And was never asked what i was doing as long as I came home in time for dinner. Mabye that's why we were helicopter parents.
When do expect these children to be allowed to grow up? Should parents keep hiring "help" until the age of 40? 50? Until the parent's final dying breath?
Is this really all that different than what dorm managers would do? Or house moms? Maybe we got away from that with gen x and millenials being treated as adults, so maybe it's swinging back. Rich parents are always gonna do the crazy stuff anyways.
I should have read that ^^^^^ before I posted it. Sorry for the incoherence. I think you get the point.
"When do expect these children to be allowed to grow up?"
Just when they're about to grow up menopause hits and they can't be responsible for anything after that.
Pervasive communication devices (phones with cameras) really change the way we interact with the world. Would the parents of genx and earlier have changed the way they raised their kids if they have the same things, I would think, of course.
Is anyone here surprised that RCOCEAN II "grew up riding a bike without a helmet"? Explains a LOT.
Sounds like a parody, no? The future looks cloudy...
I had one of those. Drill Sergeant Cutty. I can hear him yell at me 51 years later.
Aren't we talking about adults who can vote, drive, drink, own a firearm, get married, have kids, and go to war, because it sounds like were talking about children who shouldn't be allowed to do any of that..
Pure entrenurial genius. The free market working.
I find no need for their services, and I too look askance upon those who do, but it doesn't bother me that the service exists in the real world. The future may feature a lot of jobs like this.
Americans have been infantilizing their adult children for the last 50 years. There was once a consensus that the age of majority was a bright line separating childhood from adulthood. For most of our history, that age was 21, which seemed to work pretty well for some 180 years. Then it was lowered by way of the 26th amendment to 18 - in order to get young people who knew little to nothing and had (except for those in the military) no skin in the game to start choosing our elected leaders. Which is when all this nonsense started.
We now have a murky and fluid definition of majority characterized by an inchoate period of adulthood from age 18 to 26. 18 year olds cannot legally drink, buy tobacco products, rent a car, gamble, or buy handguns until they are 21 years old, and often stay on their parents’ insurance policies until age 26. It seems that we can trust them with the vote, but little else outside of getting tattoo’s, getting hitched (which few do), and taking out inadvisable loans (with a real adult as a co-signer, of course). And now it seems we cannot trust them to take care of themselves at college without, again, a real adult to look after them.
It seems clear that the 26th amendment was a colossal mistake that has retarded the development and maturation of our young pseudo-adults. Bring back the bright line!
I guess you don't need a license to raise a child. At least, not yet. After mid-terms, I guess we'll see.
Plenty of people preying on students on college campuses. Maybe this service helps counter that...
My nephew at Alabama used to pay a friend's family, who had a business doing that to store his stuff over the summer, pick him up at the airport, etc. Nice for out of state kids...
back when i was dating an Assistant Professor (WAY Back in 2008), she SHOWED me letters that she had received from mothers pleading/complaining for/about their daughter's grades.
I was unbelieving UNTIL i actually read them..
yep; mommies saying: "little suzy worked SO HARD* on that project, she DESERVES an A.. not an A minus"
i hate to think what things are like Now
SO HARD* oh, she Also showed me some of the projects..
They were pathetically bad [did i spell it right this time?]
My only-recently-coed college had laundry service, which unfortunately also included half-poly sheets. The women hated all of it, so they got rid of it after I left, firing untold thousands of local black people who enjoyed ironing rich white kids' undies.
Where do these kids go for blue hair and metal bits - while mom washes their clothes? Up next - ICE watch rage club.
I think it really depends on the school. I've taught undergrad on and off since 2013 and have never heard from a parent once. The students aren't always responsible but own it for themselves. Maybe it's because I've taught at Christian schools (APU, Westmont, etc.) and the students tend to have experience going on trips with church.
I actually did hear from a mom at my new school, but I have been friends with her for a while and her son just started, so I didn't read it as parent running the show.
As to the other stuff, that's been going on for a long time. It's a well-known trope that college students bring home laundry. The difference, I think, is that what used to be limited to the particularly wealthy with other support stuff is now much more widely available because privilege has trickled down quite a bit.
Why wait for them to get to college to teach your children how to do their own errands, their own laundry, or organize their lives? I get it, University of Texas uses the graduation commencement speech to tell graduates to make their own bed. But we are no longer in the Obama years, so hopefully we can return to Americans becoming adults before age 26.
I've had a few parents contact me about their college student kids over the years. Fortunately there's a HIPAA-type law (I forget the acronym) now that allows (requires) me to ignore them.
My Grade 10 daughter wants nothing t do with university these days.. She wants to run her own business(es) as I've done for 60 years.
She's being told "Don't waste your life by not going to university.. You're too smart not to go." Her reply is awesome -- "If I'm so smart, why is amy decision not to waste four years with a bunch of clueless kids -- to say nothing of $60,000 debt -- a bad one?"
Get in now, moms, before the robots take over all these jobs.
First year away from home can be stressful - but it should not be because you are unable to take care of yourself.
Missing the comforts of home is totally normal.
Look at the wasteland of most public education - and the sad fact that our children are not learning what is needed to compete and to thrive. So much leftist indoctrination instead of actual learning. No wonder they need a mommy. Life is hard when all you know is hair dye and global whining.
In the 1950s, many college students (the men at least) mailed their dirty laundry home to their mothers, who would wash it and mail it back.
Swaddling and breast feeding available for a slight up-charge.
Back in the dark ages, I called my mom, once per week, collect from the hall pay phone. I cannot imagine that today.
Just the kind of persons a sentient ai will gladly? cater to.
Elsewhere in the NYT: Dems to Lower the Voting Age to 16!
"Swaddling and breast feeding available for a slight up-charge."
Helicopter moms draw the line at letting another woman breast feed their college students.
'...In the 1950s, many college students (the men at least) mailed their dirty laundry home to their mothers, who would wash it and mail it back. ...'
Yeah, not believing that one for a second. For one thing, the mail would have taken too long. Do you have some kind of personal experience with this? My dorm room was cinderblock walls, and the bathrooms were communal, one per floor. Laundry in the basement.
If you live in a college town but aren't a student, can you hire a Campus Mom to, um, check on you? Asking for a friend. CC, JSM
That seems absurd. I went to college to elude proper adult supervision. When I was in college, I could make enough cutting lawns to pay for my tuition, so my parents couldn't say 'boo' about my course of study, or living arrangements.
Which did involve some campus nudity (not me, but adjacent), a summary offense at a National Park, hosting 4 semi national bands for shows in my fraternity living room, almost shooting a campus security guard with an WW1 Mauser, and still graduating in 4 years in good standing. The 1980s were fantastic. That I survived merely adds to the era.
Is college supposed to be a time where 'young adults" gain 'a sense of independence' or are they supposed to actually become independent?
Get used to it.
When a college education can cost of much as your house, of course you want to protect your investment. Especially when you only have 1 or 2 kids, instead of the 4 or 5 that used to be normal, you put more energy into each one.
Sending your child to college is child abuse at this point.
This is a standard Democracy -> Aristocracy transformation.
All of this bullshit is powered by the growth of Government/HR/University bullshit jobs so that we can "Close the wage gap" and empower all of those women to live their boss babe dreams.
Kids of plumbers and carpenters aren't getting a "college mommy."
This is for kids of DEI coordinators and middle manager queen bees.
Left Bank of the Charles said...
In the 1950s, many college students (the men at least) mailed their dirty laundry home to their mothers, who would wash it and mail it back.
Only democrats would be stupid enough to believe this.
When I was leaving for College in the early 70’s, my mother suggested that perhaps one of the coeds at the nearby girls’ college would do my laundry. It truly was a different world.
Do I need to say that I did my own laundry? The laundromat downtown was across the street from a classic Upstate New York college bar.
Now, to a degree, college is also a meat market / spousal accumulation zone. i found the latter (married 38 years), and as a gentlemen won't comment on the former.
College students used to live in spartan dorm rooms eating cafeteria slop and top ramen. Graduating, working an entry level job, and renting an efficiency or sharing a flat with roommates was a step up in comfort. But now that the flood of student debt has transformed college campuses into luxury resorts, students graduating into the working world (with the added burden of repaying all the loan money their alma mater sucked away) must feel like they have been expelled from the Garden of Eden.
This sort of thing is only going to make it worse.
Planned... uh, surrogate parenthood.
Affordable care with forward-looking, sustainable debt.
OK, so no one wants to comment on the real problem, which is the incipient status of 18 to 26 year olds, and their coddling by anxious parents, but would rather regal us with their personal experiences some 40-50 years ago in their college years….Ergo….
I was in the mid-late 1970’s university cohort. Attending a large midwestern school (U of MN, main campus), I lived off campus doing my own shopping and laundry, cooking my own meals, and managing my own academic program (using university counsellors, of course). On the weekends I caroused around with my buddies and/or dated coeds, one of whom (a PHd student) I’ve been married to for some 47 years. As for parental interaction, my Mom called me once a week to see how I was doing. She understood that I could take care of myself.
The very idea that 18 year olds can’t manage life without parental involvement suggests a serious failure of parenting for their previous 18 years.
"The very idea that 18 year olds can’t manage life without parental involvement suggests a serious failure of parenting for their previous 18 years."
Manage life away from home without parental involvement? When I was still living at home in high school, it was explained that laundry would be done on my mother's schedule and if I wanted something washed for a specific occasion, it was up to me to see that it got done.
No one should feel surprised that coddled children need coddling as young adults. Here to refresh your memories is Grok on CNN and the Adam Walsh murder:
NN launched in June 1980. Fourteen months later, on July 27, 1981, six-year-old Adam Walsh was abducted from a Sears in Hollywood, Florida. His severed head was found two weeks later. That case, carried by a brand-new 24-hour news network and later by a mass-audience TV movie, became one of the main engines of a lasting shift in how American parents assessed risk.
What changed
Before 1981 it was ordinary for children to wait in a toy department while a parent shopped a few aisles away, ride bikes across town, or play outside without constant adult supervision. After the Walsh case, that baseline flipped for many families. Store security tightened. Milk-carton photos, fingerprinting drives, “stranger danger” assemblies, and later child-safety legislation followed. John and Revé Walsh used national television—including an early appearance on CNN that put Adam’s picture on the hour—to keep the case in public view and to push for the Missing Children Act (1982) and the Missing Children’s Assistance Act (1984), which created the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children.
The 1983 NBC movie Adam reached tens of millions of viewers and ended with photos of other missing children. Combined with repeating cable coverage, it turned a rare, gruesome crime into a felt epidemic. Advocates and some officials circulated figures of 50,000 stranger abductions a year or 1.5 million missing children. Those numbers mixed runaways and family/custody cases with the far smaller set of stereotypical stranger kidnappings. Actual FBI-style “stereotypical kidnappings” have historically been on the order of dozens to a few hundred per year, not tens of thousands.
CNN’s specific contribution
CNN did not invent the fear, but it changed the delivery. Evening-network news had a finite slot. A 24-hour channel could loop a parent’s plea, a child’s photo, and later the discovery of remains. The Walsh family understood that and used it. Sociologists and journalists later described the result as a classic availability-heuristic problem: the most vivid, worst-case story became the mental model for everyday risk. Criminologist Richard Moran put it bluntly: the Walsh case helped produce “a nation of petrified kids and paranoid parents” in which unstructured play gave way to scheduled, adult-supervised activity.
Lasting effects
The institutional legacy is real: better inter-agency databases, faster alerts, and some recoveries tied to public tips (later amplified by America’s Most Wanted). The cultural legacy is more mixed. Fear of strangers became a default parenting posture even as overall violent crime later fell and most abducted children are taken by someone they know. Pediatricians in the late 1980s already warned that milk-carton campaigns were frightening children at the breakfast table. That pattern of elevated vigilance—more check-ins, less independent mobility, playdates instead of pickup games—has been durable.
In short: a horrific crime met a new medium that never signed off. The combination raised awareness and improved some systems. It also locked in a level of parental hypervigilance that has outlasted the statistical rarity of the event that triggered it.
My last job was at a big law firm in Seattle. Many of the services and benefits they offered led me to believe that many employees came from such coddled academic environments.
This starts in college and continues after graduation.
My son, a UW grad, is a recruiter for hedge funds.
He had an in person interview and was notified that the candidate had arrived. He went out to reception and there’s the candidate sitting with his mom.
Introductions were made and when he wanted to take the young man back to the conference space the mom stood up like she was going to come along!
He told her in the nicest way possible to say she wasn’t welcome.
Yikes! Guess what! The kid was never asked back for follow-up interviews.
" It also locked in a level of parental hypervigilance..."
And punished those who would have preferred to not participate in the hysteria.
Christ on a crutch
I deliberately went to school far enough away that I couldn't get help from my parents for the ordinary tasks of life.
We need to change the laws about voting. Because anyone who is getting these services is not an adult, and unqualified to vote
A few weeks into my freshman year at St. John's in Santa Fe, N.M. I was in the laundry room when a slightly older woman in my class walked in as I was prepping my laundry for the washer. She stared at me in amazement and said "I've never seen a guy separate the whites and coloreds!". I told her something innocuous like that was what my mother taught me, which was true.
Even the 17 year old me had enough sense not to say something like "Us Alabama boys are used to separating the whites from the coloreds, young missy!" to a California girl!
It must also be mentioned that there is a lot of only child syndrome going here.
Girl Bosses with one child they had when they are 35 and eventually divorced the dad tend to raise broken children.
YoungHegelian,
Here's an antithesis for you: my freshman year coming doing laundry in the dorm, is when I discovered you don't really have to separate out the whites.
“ But she had opted to stay in, and the mother wanted to celebrate the decision with a 'stay-in basket' that included her favorite ice cream, cookie and socks...."
Wow…her eight-year-old daughter is in college? Seriously, while it’s the thought that counts, I think a pizza might have been a bit more appropriate.
What is weird is that these "safe" environments are where the kids are suppose to be pushed to learn all these life skills. Where when they mess up, it isn't eviction, and hunger. Yet, these parents keep short circuiting all the learning.
You should have and likely get fired from your first job when you are 16. When losing your pay only means maybe not being able to afford to go out or you have to watch your gas gauge.
And kids should have to learn to live on a budget
All the non-college kids whose parents have broken their plate are having to learn in a sink or swim environment.
My BFF Gemini says, to my surprise:
Yes, it is true that college students frequently mailed their dirty laundry home to their mothers during the 1950s and earlier decades. [1] (https://blog.litchfieldhistoricalsociety.org/?p=1334), [2] (https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/6im4pt/til_that_laundry_was_for_50_years_often_mailed/), [3] (https://www.quora.com/How-did-college-students-do-their-laundry-back-in-the-1930s)According to the Smithsonian National Postal Museum, this practice lasted from the 1910s into the 1960s. Students, summer campers, and military personnel used specialized, durable shipping containers—such as canvas-encased cardboard or aluminum laundry mailers—to send clothes back and forth via cheap Parcel Post. [1] (https://www.facebook.com/SmithsonianNationalPostalMuseum/posts/this-rectangular-aluminum-container-was-used-to-ship-laundry-by-parcel-post-circ/1495049182662758/), [2] (https://postalmuseum.si.edu/collections/object-spotlight/laundry-box), [3] (https://www.reddit.com/r/todayilearned/comments/6im4pt/til_that_laundry_was_for_50_years_often_mailed/)Mothers typically washed, ironed, and mailed the clean clothes back, often tucking homemade cookies or brownies into the return package. This method was cheaper and more convenient than local commercial cleaners or trying to hand-wash clothes in poorly equipped dorm basements. [1] (https://www.bates.edu/news/2016/05/06/bates-laundry-in-the-1950s-by-mail-male-or-at-the-hobby-shoppe/), [2] (https://www.facebook.com/SmithsonianNationalPostalMuseum/posts/this-rectangular-aluminum-container-was-used-to-ship-laundry-by-parcel-post-circ/1495049182662758/), [3] (https://www.quora.com/How-did-college-students-do-their-laundry-back-in-the-1930s), [4] (https://postalmuseum.si.edu/collections/object-spotlight/laundry-box), [5] (https://blog.litchfieldhistoricalsociety.org/?p=1334)
Aggie and Achilles, soldiers used laundry mailing boxes too (which I assume were only used when deployed at U.S. bases not overseas).
That link has a great picture from 1923 of post office trucks filled with laundry boxes for delivery to University of Michigan students.
I know two young men who are in their early 20s who have never had a job and don't have a driver's license. Well, one of them had a job for a couple of weeks but then just quit.
But then I know two others who are actually kind of more responsible than I was at their age.
One reason for the issues of college kids is that it used to be a fairly exclusive thing, getting a college degree; then the universities decided they could make it an extension of high school and that tuition-paying butts in seats was more important (=lucrative) than academic rigor. Once Big Daddy Government took over loans it was a race to the bottom. Instead of rigor and a degree that was actually worth something, students got perks.
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