১০ ডিসেম্বর, ২০২৪

"Along with three quarters of a million other people, I’m a member of r/AmIOverreacting, a forum on Reddit devoted to the problem of potentially freaking out too much...."

"If anything, r/AmIOverreacting is a kind of reactivity buffer zone—a place where reactions can be mediated, and so slowed down. In that sense, it’s part of a larger, society-wide effort.... Mindfulness is another way of managing one’s reactivity. Broadly speaking, mindful minds seek to replace the question “Am I overreacting?” with the neutral observation that, yes, a reaction is happening. In the pre-baby mindfulness workshop I attended, our instructor told us to imagine our emotions as locomotives. 'You can watch the train leave the station without getting on board,' she said. She encouraged us to react to our reactions with nonjudgmental attention...."
I don’t feel that I overreact, in the sense of habitually responding with too much intensity or duration to specific situations in my life. But I do feel that I’m over-reacting, in the sense of being too frequently poked and prodded into feeling something by someone or something else. The other day, taking my kids to the library, I passed a car festooned with bumper stickers; one of them—“Donald Trump Matters”— caught my eye, and I thought about it on and off for the next half hour, as my son made a Christmas ornament at a craft table and my daughter tried to stand using a beanbag chair. It’s easy for such moments of provocation to chain together, so that a day becomes ensnared in little ringlets of reaction. I often want to break the chain....

A day ensnared in little ringlets of reaction... that sounds like a blog.

৩৭টি মন্তব্য:

Mike (MJB Wolf) বলেছেন...

The New Yorker is promoting stoicism? Incredible.

Rusty বলেছেন...

If you let bumber stickers dictate your day you need to get a life.

Kate বলেছেন...

"The pre-baby mindfulness" workshop? I feel I might overreact to how utterly ridiculous that sounds.

Mike (MJB Wolf) বলেছেন...

He actually wrote that he felt provoked by a bumper sticker. Provoked! Dude, yes you are overreacting, internally but also physically by writing about it. You're waaaaay past that "half hour" that you think you spent contemplating it. Note to Josh: you are still thinking about it.

"Am I overreacting?" LOL. Your first clue should be that you joined a group dedicated to answering the self-assessment, "Am I overreacting?"

Mike (MJB Wolf) বলেছেন...

Second note to Josh: "Along with three quarters of a million other people" is an awfully long and unnecessary introductory phrase (probably to satisfy your longing to "belong" somewhere, or at least suggest you do) just to get to the "I" subject. Take a clue from that other self-absorbed overreactor Obama and just put the "I me my" right up front where you really wanted it.

planetgeo বলেছেন...

In a post yesterday I observed that there are numerous young people on pretty much every campus today who are literally being groomed to "overreact" by certain professors. It's not at all an isolated occurrence, and it's despicable that universities continue to tolerate such "violence grooming" in their midst.

rhhardin বলেছেন...

It's a generic women's concerns column. It's from a lack of any way to react other than feelings. Like, for men, being interested. What system does this fit in, etc.

Just an old country lawyer বলেছেন...

If you have to ask if you are over reacting, the answer is almost always, Yes.

Steve বলেছেন...

I have spent so much time mired in the irony, sarcasm and hatred of Reddit (and the rest of the internet) that I don't know if a "Donald Trump Matters" bumper sticker is a sign of support or hatred for our incoming president.

I am the walking embodiment of Poe's Law, "without a clear indicator of the author's intent, it's impossible to distinguish between sincere expressions of extreme views and parodies or sarcasm of those same views." Was the bumper sticker on a truck or a Prius?

Eva Marie বলেছেন...

Luigi Mangione overreacted. He even posted a comment about how smart people are more prone to be swayed by confirmation bias.

Dogma and Pony Show বলেছেন...

"I don’t feel that I overreact, in the sense of habitually responding with too much intensity or duration to specific situations in my life. But I do feel that I’m over-reacting. . . ."

No hyphen in "overreact," but then hyphen in "over-reacting." What gives?

Randomizer বলেছেন...

He?

I hadn't noticed the writer's name when reading Ann's post. [Since the election, we are allowed to assume that Joshua is a 'he'.]

Joshua, a guy isn't supposed to be provoked by a mundane bumper sticker. That's the realm of cat ladies. Get your shit together, do something productive, and stop lamenting on Reddit.

We should be thankful that Joshua's son isn't making holiday ornaments, and the daughter isn't attending storybook hour led by a deviant sex clown.

Steven Wilson বলেছেন...

Try this Josh. Two incidents in 2004/05 reaffirmed my belief that I couldn't live long enough to vote for another Democrat. My significant other at the time was a passionate Republican because she was something of an absolutist on right-to-life. Her position was that nothing changes from the point of conception--you just grow larger. Now I have never been interested in political rallies or attached in a worshipful manner to any politician, but Rosemary was.

Unbeknownst to me she obtained tickets to an appearance by George W. Bush in Wheeling. I went along for the curiosity factor as much as anything. I parked a couple of blocks away and we walked to the venue. Along the way we passed demonstrators who were using the same streets as access. When we returned to my car we found the passenger's side window had been broken out from the outside. When I mentioned this to people those on the left always sought the explanation of it being a hot day and the glass had exploded. I've watched enough crime shows to know in that case the glass would have been on the sidewalk and not on the car seat. I wasn't as angry as Rosemary, and I just marked down as another example of from where the political violence was likely to arise.

The following summer Rosemary and I took our annual trip to New England to visit friends and relatives in CT and then work our way up to Littleton NH. Along the way we stopped in Hartford to visit the Wadsworth Art Museum. Rosemary had left the Bush/Cheney bumper sticker on her car and when we returned we discovered someone had taken a hammer or similar object to her tail light. One precisely placed blow immediately above the bumper sticker.
Later, on this trip we played golf at Cape Arundel where the Bush's played golf while vacationing in Kennebunkport. One of the employees, someone about my age, noticed the damage and asked what happened and I described it as a "political statement" about last year's election. He was more shocked at my assertion than the incident itself. "Oh, no one up here would do that."

I'm not nearly naive or self righteous enough to believe that there are no such incidents but from the right but neither am I willing to accept that it's anywhere near a 50/50 proposition. Most of the political violence minor and otherwise (the execution of the health care executive) springs from the left. They are made to feel entitled and the unstable among them act on it. Academia inspires and enables them. So, if Josh wants solace for his hyper attuned sensibilities I suggest he come and live among the people he seems to be triggered by. He will discover that we would really like to live and let live and not be dictated to by our "superiors."

The late great Florence King wrote a column, probably two decades or more ago, about the how the high strung among us just couldn't imagine that someone could find satisfaction in manual labor or factory jobs etc. Within that column she dubbed those people the "High stranglers" or some such. I think that describes Josh and his confreres. My God, am I tired of their sensibilities and their observations about such. I think they ought to be described as apprentice curmudgeons.

RCOCEAN II বলেছেন...

As in so many things, the USA right and left are the ying and yang to each other. The Left constantly "overreacts " while the Right "Underreacts". I'm more concerned about the latter, than the former. You gotta wonder when conservatives and Rightwingers are going to wake up and smell the political coffee, instead of patting themselves on the back for being so reasonable and tepid. We've above politics. We believe in principles, not winning. We're not snowflakes, etc.

You can't have enough political activism without having people overreact. Every movement has a "Lunatic fringe" because without the "fringe" pushing the envelope your movement goes nowhere. That's why the Left is constantly getting the Right to denounce their "Fringe" while pretending their "Fringe" doesn't even exist. And the Rightwingers fall into trap.


Dixcus বলেছেন...

They are literally saying we should bring back childhood bullies. This is where kids learn the rough and tumble of real life ... it's on the recess playground.

Dixcus বলেছেন...

Reddit only makes money if people read it. They are trying to go public (i.e. sell the company to Wall Street who can then turn around and sell it to a bunch of suckers on Main Street.)

Now ... what are the financial incentives for just making shit up?

Tim Sisk বলেছেন...

The thing about having big buttons is that they are begging to be pushed.

CJinPA বলেছেন...


"I’m a member of r/AmIOverreacting, a forum on Reddit devoted to the problem of potentially freaking out too much...."

I'm sure a bad person for being judging this person as weak because he's a man. Doing crafts with his son. Judging him for such things makes me susceptible to judgment.

Pete বলেছেন...

I'd say the "Donald Trump Matters" bumper sticker really worked!

Dixcus বলেছেন...

There's two kinds of: "overreacting" and "over-reacting."

Overreacting is when your wife throws a fit over nothing because she's on her period.

Over-reacting is always being on the defensive and never getting the upper hand, so you are always reacting to situations instead of acting decisively.

He may have overreacted to his over-reacting.

Jamie বলেছেন...

If you have to ask if you are over reacting, the answer is almost always, Yes.

But of course I read the title of this Reddit thing in the same was as the AITA? one: those participating are expecting that a jury of their peers will say, "No, of course you're not!"

Yancey Ward বলেছেন...

Rothman should probably look into getting a working set of testicles.

Mason G বলেছেন...

Sounds like the guy in Florida who was caught on camera keying a car and got a visit from the police because the "FJB" bumper sticker made him mad. So many lefties seem to have the emotional maturity of three-year-olds.

Mason G বলেছেন...

He will discover that we would really like to live and let live and not be dictated to by our "superiors."

People often seem to sort themselves into two groups- those who say "Leave me alone" and those who say "No".

Tom T. বলেছেন...

The New Yorker article is low-key aimed at Daniel Penny. If you're afraid of a screaming lunatic on the subway, you're overreacting.

Yeah Right Sure বলেছেন...

Youngest daughter is a swamp creature working for a Fed agency with none but Pauline Kael-type friends. All were quite distraught over the election over the insanities ("concentration camps" for trans) that result from a tightly-closed bubble and a steady diet too-rich with hyperbolic extremism.

So I offered all a wager. Make 3 predictions that are measurable. If ANY come true, the winner gets a $100 Amazon gift card and can go back to lighting their hair on fire. If they don't, they have to pay this non-MAGA conservative. Only one has. Slowing one's mind down and thinking about the practicality of your fears, say, the logistics of removing 11 million people from the USA, works to decaffeinate the brain.

PM বলেছেন...

"mindfulness" Of fucking course.

Lem Vibe Bandit বলেছেন...

How to write about Trump without even using his name? I’m guessing he’s name never came up.

Aggie বলেছেন...

Living proof that 'Donald Trump Matters'

mccullough বলেছেন...

Every 60 years or so people have to re-learn the lessons that work. Toughen up. Let it go. Quit overthinking it.

A society with people who have to much free time is going to produce too many neurotics. This guy should not be thinking. He doesn’t have a contemplative temperament like Hume. He’s a nut job like Rousseau

Clark বলেছেন...

I'm trying to figure out which of the three possible meanings of "my daughter tried to stand using a beanbag chair" is intended, and wondering why the author chose to utter this clause without letting us know what he means by it.

mikee বলেছেন...

The stereotypical New York interaction of a taxicab beeping its horn at a pedestrian crossing in front of them, and the pedestrian laconically but loudly responding, "Hey, I'm walking here!" is the perfect example of how New Yorkers should behave. Recognition of the behavior by the Other, with absolute self-centeredness of purpose and action.

Former Illinois resident বলেছেন...

I've progressive-liberal friends who thought Harris was inexperienced and ill-equipped to be president, but thought there'd be enough "aides" to guide her along once elected. Well, I guest Biden could be a (poor) example of this "aided" presidential process. These friends were convinced anyone, including admittedly weak candidate-pair Harris-Walz, would be a "better" president than Trump. They certainly would've preferred to vote for Biden again, despite his mental incapacities, lousy performance as president, and obvious corruption.

Mikey NTH বলেছেন...

Does anyone just take a deep breath and count to ten anymore? You know the old way you would be told to get a grip on yourself?

Just wondering.

Biff বলেছেন...

I looked for "bumber" in the OED, but there was no entry for it. Bumber needs to be a word!

boatbuilder বলেছেন...

Bill Burr on "overreacting." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M8uiNaZpO8o

0_0 বলেছেন...

AITA and AIO are some of the most fake karma farms extant.