Writes Adam Gopnik, in "No, Not Aaron Rodgers! It’s hard to name a position in the history of sports so manifestly cursed as that of quarterback for the New York Jets" (The New Yorker).
I love the way Donald Trump intrudes himself even into an article about football almost as much as I love the diaeresis in "reëlection" and the screwy use of "happened" in "If the worst thing... happened... I will not sound...."
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I thought there could be nothing lower than Waldman, Chotiner, and Lepore.
But Blumenthal. Ignatius (even though critiqued a little). And now Adam Gopnik. On sports!
This is truly from Through the Looking-Glass World. No sane man could dare go one meter (look, it's happening to me!) farther.
Trump Derangement Syndrome is both amazing and disturbing - and I find it everywhere
If the worst thing humanly imaginable happened—i.e., Donald Trump’s reëlection—I will not sound more disbelieving or distraught. Zach Wilson is, of course, the Jets’ recent No. 2 over-all draft pick at Q.B.
What's with all the dots? Was there a sale on dots? Does the Canadian government allocate them to their citizens?
Also, in true New Yorker fashion, If Trump is reëlected, promise us all you'll kill yourself...
Trump is not Aaron Rodgers; that was a weak dream by Jets fans.
Trump is Tom Brady. He will win a 3rd election for president and be the GOAT!
As I wrote yesterday, Aaron can now go back to his life of promoting psychedelics, misinformation and quackery.
Football was a nice cover for a while, though,...
The Iranians could detonate a nuclear device in New York Harbor and the news media would find a way to work Trump Inyo the story.
rehajm said...
"Also, in true New Yorker fashion, If Trump is reëlected, promise us all you'll kill yourself..."
AMEN
Written while standing on a chair due to mouse sighting.
Did Trump intrude himself, or was the writer obtruding his own politics, into the story?
Seems like a lot of Heinlein’s bad luck happens often for New York media writers and consumers. You take stupid risks, you win stupid prizes.
Adam Gopnik is such a hopeless moron. The umlaut always goes over a consonant. Has fity years of death metal taught him nothing?
The New Yorker has a sports section?
The Iranians could detonate a nuclear device in New York Harbor and the news media would find a way to work Trump into the story.
What I find irritating about such insertions - and this is something writers and artists across the political spectra often fail to understand - is that it poisons "shared space". Years ago I read a delightful little book about different kinds or levels of friendship.
That couple sitting next to me at Professional Sports Game at Sports Stadium might have social/religious/political views I find utterly repellent. But at the Sports Event we are fellow fans and we can cheer for Sports Team together.
So when people who support Trump read this article suddenly we are no longer nodding along with Gopnik about the plight of quarterbacks for the New York Jets. We get punched - metaphorically speaking - in the arm by Gopnik's gratuitous and wholly unnecessary dig at Orange Man.
Entertainers do this regularly. We can no longer simply attend a concert or a play. Or listen to an album. Or watch a movie. Suddenly that event is turned into a skirmish where our "side" is being ridiculed or (more commonly) reviled. People who think/believe like us are called evil, despicable, bigots, phobes, idiots. And we wonder why the bleep we paid good money for this???
In Russia "gopnik" is what they use to referr to juvenile delinquents
"happened" in "If the worst thing... happened... I will not sound...."
Back to the future.
I see I'm not the only one attempting the #TrumpChallenge. That is, find a way to bring in Trump into every discussion about everything, within the bounds of the blog's 'moderation' rules. It's not as easy as it sounds, but it would be extremely difficult if the derangement had not... metaphorically metastasized.
And we wonder why the bleep we paid good money for this???
I stopped. Find ways to get it for free. It feels good...
We don't want a strong economy and a closed southern border.
Go Crook-Mob JOE!
Remember when the Obamas found a way to have Michelle Obama chime in at the Oscars, from the White House?
That was awkward.
Joe is sucking up to Iran because of his fuckup in Ukraine, and now Iran has provided Russia with effective weapons, and suddenly, Biden realizes that we can't just bully Iran around any way we want, and now he has to go on bended knee.
Remember when Chyna made Yellen bow and scrape in that sudden meeting there? What do you suppose she was forced to ask for that China made her do that, since whatever happened could not be publicly acknowledged in any other way? This little project of Joe's in Ukraine is forcing us to compromise in a lot of other areas, isn't it.
I think that if Biden's cabal of handlers thought that we could make a credible fight of it, we would be at war with Iran already, just to try to ensure Joe Biden's re-election. Trouble is that Joe already spent our Strategic Petroleum Reserve for political reasons, and Iran could cut off our access to oil by cutting off the Strait of Hormuz.
Not to worry, I am sure that if Middle Eastern oil was interrupted, Russia would come to our aid, if we asked nicely. Funny that we have more oil reserves than anybody, and every month, Joe Biden locks a little more of it into the ground with some new diktat. Some systematic strategic thinker.
I've just decided "Everything Everywhere All at Once" (2022), which I haven't seen, is really about Trump.
the worst thing humanly imaginable
Some people are severely lacking an imagination if Trump being re-elected is the worst.
At first I thought Althouse was blogging about an "AMDG" offering, not an "Adam Gopn9ik" article, given the similarity in tone and content.
The Jets are the worst luck team ever. Now they’re still on the hook for that contract. If the Writers Guild Association weren't on strike I'd swear they'd written this perfect story
It's impossible to say how the bastard first entered my brain, but once ensconced, he haunted me day and night. Reason there was none. Passion alone drove me. I hated the old man. He had never wronged me. He had yet to tweet me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think was his hair! yes, it was this! He had the hair of a mad genius - a pale golden hair - with a comb-over it end all comb-overs. Whenever my eye fell upon it, my blood ran hot; and so by degrees - very gradually - I made up my mind to destroy the old man and thus rid myself of the hair forever.
Packers dodged a bullet, kinda. Sure, they're still paying a lot of dead cap money. Sure, they lost out on a 1st round draft pick. But it could be worse. It could be Zach Wilson worse. It could be Joe Biden is reelected worse.
Could writing 'reëlection' that way mean he secretly wishes for someone whom he is not allowed to wish for?
It's the kind of thing some people would do when they write a love letter. Adorn the words.
Hate is the greatest love of all... or something
Rick67- I wholeheartedly agree!
It never ends. Sentence 1 from the article:
"The special tool we use here at The New Yorker for punching out the two dots that we then center carefully over the second vowel in such words as “naïve” and “Laocoön” will be getting a workout this year, as the Democrats coöperate to reëlect the President."
America's Newspaper of Record "Experts Believe Aaron Rodgers Ankle Injury A Result Of Being Unvaccinated"
"Taking the vaccine would have likely prevented this," said Dr. Arthur MacArthur, a sports physician who has never treated Rodgers. "Research that we just came up with a few moments ago indicates there is a new COVID-19 variant that specifically attacks tendons and ligaments, particularly in the ankle. So Aaron Rodgers, due to his unvaccinated state, clearly came down with a sudden case of what we are referring to, as of right now, ‘COVID ankle.'"
It is not permitted to submit an article to The New Yorker or Vanity Fair that does not include a reference to Trump.
"The umlaut always goes over a consonant."
It's not an umlaut. As noted in the original post, with a link to a whole article about it, it's a diaeresis.
What I love is the WI sports bar promising free drinks should the Jets win. When Rogers went down the boozing became serious. There's schadenfreude and there are just desserts and then there's yuge bar tabs to be paid when Jets win in OT.
Of come on--the Jets had Broadway Joe Namath. So why are you griping?
'It's not an umlaut. As noted in the original post, with a link to a whole article about it, it's a diaeresis.'
I'm sure the professor is correct.
Besides, if it were an umlaut it would have annexed the rest of the paragraph...
"The umlaut always goes over a consonant."
It's not an umlaut. As noted in the original post, with a link to a whole article about it, it's a diaeresis.
It was a joke about death metal.
If the re-election of Trump is the worst thing Humanly responsible, why are most members of the media acting in ways which make his re-election more likely?
La Emerita is correct about umlauts. Quaestor is wrong, purposely so. (I got the joke)
Umlauts go over only some vowels in German--- a,o,u. "Umlaut" indicates a dipthong and was originally represented in German writing as a small e over the appropriate vowel. the small e evolved into the two dots.
The word 'umlaut' means 'change sound'.
Goetz von Berlichingen
PS: In modern German, you can replace the 'oe' in my name with an umlauted 'o'. You can also do the reverse.
This will be on the quiz tomorrow.
GvB
I read the whole article(quickly). I didn't find Donald Trump intruding HIMSELF into it. The author needlessly brought him in.
Gopnik doesn't have much of an imagination.
A "gopnik" is Russian for that last little turd you try to extrude that doesn't quite make it out.
"Entertainers do this regularly"
In 2004, I attended the annual Thanksgiving concert at Orchestra Hall in Minneapolis. Garrison Keillor was the MC and at one point he started going off on then President George W Bush, who'd just been reelected. And I thought -- What the fuck, dude, it's a holiday concert not a Paul Wellstone memorial service. I wonder how Keillor is doing these days.
Just as a note to Jets fans — from 1982 through 1991 the Washington Redskins went to four Super Bowls and won three of them. The last two were won with, basically, quarterbacks who were more at the upper end of journeyman skill level. However in all four cases they had an amazing offensive line. So before you go out and get a great quarterback, maybe get a heck of an O-line. Good centers, guards, and tackles are cheaper than a HOF quarterback and great linemen will let you win without breaking the bank for a great quarterback near the end of his career.
i correspond with an old college friend who never left Madison. I pointed out to her that the latest set of indictments were a tactical error because they energized Trumps support. She said it was a cult. But there's another cult equal in force and opposite in direction of Trump-hate. Hate can make one do things that are stupid, or at least counter-productive.
It'll be pretty funny when Rodgers leads the Jets to a victory in the 2025 Super Bowl...and is congratulated by President Trump.
Adam Gopnik wears that fat girls underwear on tv you pee in.
As I tell my Jets fan son-in-law, when I became a Pats fan the Jets had just won the Super Bowl and the Pats were the pathetic losers.
It doesn't cheer him up at all.
I haven't the heart to razz him about this one. Oog.
"As I tell my Jets fan son-in-law, when I became a Pats fan the Jets had just won the Super Bowl and the Pats were the pathetic losers."
THIS.
My friends and I became Pats fans back in about 1976 because they never won any games. Like ever. It's why we fell in love with them.
Of course the only team that has ever truly mattered in the history of our Universe is the Philadelphia Eagles. In fact, that might just have been what motivated The Big Bang to bang.
"It's impossible to say how the bastard first entered my brain, but once ensconced, he haunted me day and night. Reason there was none. Passion alone drove me. I hated the old man. He had never wronged me. He had yet to tweet me insult. For his gold I had no desire. I think was his hair! yes, it was this! He had the hair of a mad genius - a pale golden hair - with a comb-over it end all comb-overs. Whenever my eye fell upon it, my blood ran hot; and so by degrees - very gradually - I made up my mind to destroy the old man and thus rid myself of the hair forever."
You win the faux RW Service contest. I can hear it voiced by Hank Snow. North to Alaska, to find the Yukon gold!
"If the worst thing humanly imaginable happened—i.e., Donald Trump’s reëlection"
I sense hyperbole, etc. etc., but still: what is with progs? The economy didn't tank under Trump, we didn't get into crazy wars, he helped pass a modest tax cut and some criminal justice reform--something wrong with that? He followed the prog playbook on Covid--faucism to a fault. He was totally unprepared for the 2020 election assault, and became easy prey--good for progs. OK, he was lukewarm on global warming, he appointed some conservative judges, and he was nice to Israel but not Iran--progs should feel frustrated. But the "worst thing"?
Josephbleau said...
Not E.A. Poe?
Rusty's right. It's a paragraph stolen from A Tell-Tale Heart.
Love Robert Service though. Used to know a couple of his poems by heart.
Since the movie Everything Everywhere All at Once is all about Trump, as a comment above strongly argues by stating it axiomatically, then I must insist that Trump was caused by the 1968 television episodes of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Why? How? Because. Because TRUMP.
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