"And untrue though this may be, I see no flaws, imagined or otherwise, to ruin the mood. If that counts as 'reverse body dysmorphia,' then that might be what I’ve got.
I look pretty much the same as I did 20 years ago, sometimes even better as I spent most of my 30s either pregnant, covered in baby sick and/or sleep deprived to the point of madness.... Among my friends who are not lucky enough to suffer from reverse body dysmorphia I see two main tendencies: one is to surrender unconditionally, abandoning their former sense of style, gaining weight, wearing 'comfortable' clothes and relegating frivolities such as nail varnish and heels to a dim and distant past. The other is to panic and go for radical solutions that fool nobody, such as facelifts, often resulting in them looking like rather unsettling versions of Madonna.... Should this reverse dysmorphia become a disorder all of its own?... [W]hy on earth shouldn’t you be the best version of yourself and own that glorious self-image until they drag you out kicking and screaming?... As the poet T.S. Eliot summed up: 'Humankind cannot bear too much reality.'"
Writes Helena Frith Powell (at her own website).
I found that because — go to the link to see — it contains the phrase "body eumorphia," an unusual phrase that I'd arrived at independently after stumbling into the New York Post headline, "Sam Smith on finally having the 'opposite' of body dysmorphia: ' look fabulous.'"
Anyone trying to think of "the opposite of body dysmorphia" ought to independently coin the term "body eumorphia," so why is it such a rare term? Are people refraining from using it because they are afraid of stoking a new kind of delusion?
"Eumorphia" is not in the OED, but "eu-" is the opposite of "dys-'" and "dysmorphia" is in the OED, though it's quite recent. Meaning physical deformity, it's been around since the mid-19th century, but as a psychiatric term, it only goes back to 1994. That surprised me. Here's the oldest appearance in print:
1994 J. R. Marshall vii. 129 People with body dysmorphia do not consider their anxiety and concern to be inappropriate, and they do not experience the relief that is characteristic for socially phobic people when they are finally alone.
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Sam Smith looks fat and ugly. There is nothing wrong with that, but to think he looks fabulous?? He needs a mirror.
Judging by her profile picture, she is an attractive woman. She's absolutely right about the tendency of people unhappy with their look to wear "comfortable" (i.e., loose fitting) clothing being self-defeating. It looks slovenly and fools no one. Worse, looking slovenly encourages being slovenly. You can't be your best self if you don't make an effort to present yourself well.
Right, it's got to be a woman.
Thurber in "Let Your Mind Alone!" takes on the self-help genre.
Sounds like what women used to call "letting (oneself) go."
I hate to tell you this, Sam, but ...
Power of positive thinking.
She looks pretty good in the photo on her site.
Swedish and Italian parents; how the hell could she NOT look great?
"So why do I bother? Vanity, pure vanity. Because looking and feeling good are much more important to me now than they were when I was younger . . . My role models include Jane Seymour, Isabelle Huppert and Gillian Anderson"
Hey, by coincidence Isabelle Huppert is my role model too.
Anyway: Vanity. Looking good much more important now. Role models. A woman in her 50s.
"There is nothing wrong with that, but to think he looks fabulous?? He needs a mirror."
There used to be a show I loved called "The Critic" starring John Lovitz. There was a gag in it about a "fat ugly guy" who believed he was good looking, kept flirting with women, and his friends wanted to send him to have therapy to 'cure' him. If you don't get the joke, I can't help you.
Do those fancy face-creams she loves actually do anything? I'm lazy and cheap, so I just slather on some Clinique moisturizer after my shower. My face looks OK (I think). Otherwise, she's completely right about staying slim, attractive, and nicely dressed. I can't stand the way most women my age look: like complete slobs or overly botoxed automatons. My only quibble Although, what's this with "intermittent fasting"? What difference does it make what time you eat as long as you keep the calories down? Why torture yourself by starving yourself for hours or days on end? Plus, I like to eat dinner at a civilized hour (7-8 p.m.), not at retirement-community time in the middle of the afternoon. I prefer "intermittent snacking"--a slice of cheese or a few nuts every so often as the day wears on--and I'm a size 8, too (I'm 5'10").
This Sam Smith person (people?), who I've never heard of, repeatedly refers to "themselves" as "I" in the linked article. Shouldn't "they" be referring to "themselves" as "we"?
If he can't be bothered to play the game right, why should I?
@Charlotte Allen - intermittent fasting is helpful for those who are managing blood glucose or are on low carb diets. The goal is to ultimately get to the point where your body uses stored fat reserves as energy. In some cases it's nothing more than prolonging the overnight fast and pushing off to lunchtime. Once you do it enough and work through the hungry urges, you can go as long as 12 - 14 hours without food. I think a strict Keto diet incorporates a fasting regimen.
Intermittent fasting at least has you not eating during the times when you are fasting. You could easily compensate for that during your eating "window," but it might cause you to eat less, and I think it builds your habit of not eating and gets you used to refraining from eating — dealing with an irrational fear of getting hungry. For example, I generally avoid eating at the end of the day. I tend to cut myself off at 3 in the afternoon. There was a time when I would have worried that "going to bed hungry" would be troublesome, but I've learned it is absolutely not a problem. It doesn't interfere with sleep. So I eat mostly in the morning.
"Plus, I like to eat dinner at a civilized hour (7-8 p.m.), not at retirement-community time in the middle of the afternoon."
I think of it as a late lunch.
The ego perceives a vision of comfortable numbness through selfie inflation.
The only feminist oriented reading I found useful was a discussion of a study that women tend to feel they look bad when they look in a mirror and men tend to think they look good. Much of the cosmetic industry is based on convincing women they can change their look with make up. Looking around at age 17 at people in their 40's and 50's I saw that the men seemed to look much better than the woman. I intentionally cultivated the masculine attitude to my mirrors and have been happier as a result.
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