Said Curtis Sliwa, the Republican candidate for New York City mayor, in "POP QUIZ 8:00 A.M./We Asked Curtis Sliwa to Name All 16 of His Cats" (NY Magazine).
More impressive than the speed at which he scrolled through the directory was that he immediately repeated the feat, à la Matt Damon in Good Will Hunting riffing through the names of his 12 (made-up) brothers.
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My parents had 9 children (I'm number 8 and therefore self-protectively skeptical of family planning). It's easy to run through their names fast as I've done it a million times--so long as I do it in order. A little trickier to do it out of order. The Damon character's feat is much more impressive because he probably made up the names on the spot.
I named my first dog Ajax, and was planning to run dog names through the British WW2 cruiser fleet. Next was to be Agamemnon, then Achilles, then I'd figured I would be either homebound or I'd be dead. My daughter is now the dog person in the family, with her late dog Kipper, and her current labradoodle Zinnia. No imagination in todays youth, I mean Zinnia is as dark as a coal scuttle. She's much more lab than poodle, nothing flowery about her. Actually, Scuttle would have been a better name, or Bitumen, Anthracite, etc.
Da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da Catman!
(You all know how it goes) : )
I admired Curtis for the angels esp if you rode the NY subways in the Seventies. As for the other 'vigilante', here's how The History Channel remembers Bernhard Goetz: "On the New York City subway, Bernhard Goetz, a 37-year-old white male, shoots four young Black men after they surround him and ask for $5."
Considering who is the current mayor and who else is running for mayor at least Sliwa can remember what the job of the mayor is and rank the priority of what he would need to do as mayor. NYC needs a Guardian Angel and all things considered in terms of who is running it looks like it's him.
My wife and I have 8 cats (Ivy, Llewellyn, Bertrand, Cecil, Whitecat, Marlinspike, Cooper, and Moonshine). It's not as crazy as it seems - honest!
Sliwa doesn't have much formal education--expelled from a Jesuit high school before graduating from a public high school. Along the way in his early career he was night manager of a MacDonalds fast food joint.
I was going to say that he was "not dumb"--he's made a career for himself--and he can name 16 cats in a row. OTOH he's been married four times, so I'll reserve judgment on his "smarts".
So, the cats aren't real? Or did he just pick up 16 random cats from a shelter for the election campaign, and he just made up the names on the spot? (Unlike dogs, no one would expect a cat to come when called by its name, so no reporter's likely to see through the stunt even if they're in the same room with the stray cats.)
He’d be good as Mayor but there’s no way in hell he becomes Mayor.
Now ask Biden to name all of his grandchildren.
Guy must have a real rodent problem to tolerate that many cats.
TED
It's actualy not bad. Met a girl. She's
a bagger.
JOHN
No way, that's awesome. We should double
date, you, me Lori and, what's her name?
TED
White trash name. Guess.
JOHN
Uh, Mandy?
TED
Nope.
JOHN
Madison?
TED
Nope.
JOHN
Britney, Tiffany, Candice?
TED
Nope.
JOHN
Don't fuck with me on this. I know this
shit.
TED
I know you do, and I am not fucking with
you.
JOHN
Okay, Brandi, Heather, Channing, Breanna,
Amber, Sabrina, Melody, Dakota, Sierra,
Bambi, Crystal, Samantha, Autumn, Ruby,
Taylor, Tara, Tamra, Tami, Lauren,
Charlene, Chantel, Courtney, Misty,
Jenna, Krista, Mindy, Noelle, Shelby,
Trina, Reba, Cassandra, Nikki, Kelsey,
Shawna, Jolene, Earline, Claudine,
Savannah, Kasey, Dolly, Kendra, Carla,
Chloe, Devon, Emmylou, Becky?
TED
Nope.
JOHN
Okay, was it any one of those names with
a Lynn after it?
TED
Yep.
JOHN
Okay. Brandi-Lynn, Heather-Lynn--
TED
Tami-Lynn.
JOHN
Fuck!
Okay is a white trash name? When did that happen?
Tom Servaux: Marlinspike gives you away as a Wolf Hall reader.
That piece was nasty, insulting, condescending , contemptuous, bitchy, glib and dopey. Hi
Herding cats is it’s own reward and the group dynamic is entertaining in a way that simply having one or two cats is not. Sixteen is a large herd, extra large for a city dweller like Sliwa. Not as high as our highest cat population was briefly but almost double the current herd size. We now live on the edge of SoCal wilderness and have to limit their outdoor time to about an hour mid-morning. I can’t imagine managing a huge herd in a NYC apartment setting.
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