When I die: I am going to be a gorilla and throw poo at Daddy!Via "‘See Ya Later, Suckas!’ The Obituary of a 5-Year-Old Boy in His Own Words" (NYT).
Burned or Buried: I want to be burned (like when Thor’s Mommy died) and made into a tree so I can live in it when I’m a gorilla
Big or Small Funeral: Funerals are sad: I want 5 bouncy houses (because I’m 5), Batman, and snow cones
July 16, 2018
"See ya later, suckas! - The Great Garrett Underpants."
Death notice for a 5-year-old — in his own words.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
15 comments:
That obit made me cry.
Puts a lot of things into perspective.
I call bullshit.
Maybe from an 8-10 year old. A 5 year old? No way
John Henry
I want to be burned and made into a tree so I can live in it when I’m a gorilla
I hope he took credit for that cosmology so someone can't steal it and base a self-help book on it.
Bell’s palsy
An ex-girlfiend had that and all the kids were afraid of her because resting bitchy face squared.
I'm with John Henry on this.
Even at five, kids will respond to "See you later alligator" with a snap, "After a while crocodile." But this precocious spunky little boy had acquired an admirable anti-Trumptard reply of "See ya later, suckas." Flags should be flown at half-mast to honor this patriotic progressive toddler who loved gorillas, his mom and dad, and superheroes, yet thoughtfully recognized Trump's deplorable followers as hoodwinked suckas. May his spirit live on through the modern progressive movement that favors funding for a cancer cure over profligate spending on armaments.
Trumpit
May his spirit live on through the modern progressive movement that favors funding for a cancer cure over profligate spending on armaments.
Do you have to politicize EVERYTHING?
John Henry - maybe a 5 year old who spends all his time with 8 year olds, and not other 5 year olds, which would make sense if he had a terminal illness and had an older brother or two ....?
i thought this was from Jim Acosta about getting kicked out of the press corps--
esp the part about "throwing poo at Daddy"
"May his spirit live on through the modern progressive movement that favors funding for a cancer cure over profligate spending on armaments."
"Do you have to politicize EVERYTHING?"
Some believe that the death of a five year old tells a life too short to have any real, lasting meaning. NOT in the case of The Great Garrett Underpants. His blithe spirit live on.
If you really believe in the afterlife, a happy "See ya later, suckas!" makes perfect sense.
Anyone who thinks a five-year-old couldn't have come up with this clearly doesn't know many five-year-olds - and if anybody thinks that an 8-year-old would dream of an afterlife that involves turning into a gorilla and throwing poo on Daddy, you don't know any 8-year-olds either. I don't know why some adults feel such a need to deny that there's such a thing as a sassy, imaginative, verbal little kid - especially when that's what MOST young children are like. Whatever the reason, it's especially rotten to sneer at the only accomplishment a dead child is ever going to have. Just stop.
Trumpit cares, because she hates.
Bouncy houses and snow cones...
I'm down with that.
(Time to update the will...)
Post a Comment