February 8, 2017

It's too late to rescue the man from the gator, but the fight to rescue his memory from the punchline goes on.

"Tommie Woodward yelled, 'Fuck that gator!' just before he was killed by one in Texas, and his death instantly became a national joke. For his family, grieving means having to rescue the person from the punchline."

Family, you are just reminding me of a punchline I had already forgotten. I had no memory anymore of your foolish son either.

The linked article — at Buzzfeed — is really long. I scrolled all the way down for you and snagged the last 2 paragraphs, which suggest why Buzzfeed decided to dive this deep:
Back at Burkart’s Marina, standing on the pier, near where his brother spent his final moments, Brian shares how a combination of fatalism and faith help him mourn. “Losing somebody ain’t easy, but what’s done is done,” he says. “Ain’t nothing I can do about it, can’t take it back.” He takes a deep breath. “Tommie just got to go home. I look forward to the day I get to go. One day I will get to see my brother again.”

For now, he will settle for the nights when he sees Tommie in his dreams. It doesn’t happen often, and there’s no hidden meaning, nothing to analyze. What Brian sees in his dreams and what it means is pretty overt. The same scenario plays out each time. Once Tommie appears, Brian stops whatever he’s doing. He then looks at his brother, smiles, and says, “Man, it’s good to see ya.”
There's a yearning for family and religion, and, sometimes, when you can't get it, you can nevertheless get some warmth from an ironic distance.

30 comments:

Once written, twice... said...

He would obviously been a Trump voter.

Martha said...

Fuck that Darwin Award!

David said...

Might it be that Victoria LeBlanc pushed him off the dock? Only Victoria knows for sure.

Curious George said...

"Once written, twice... said...
He would obviously been a Trump voter."

Doesn't matter. Trump carried Texas by over 800,000 votes.

Bob Boyd said...

Young guys take crazy chances, especially when they're drinking. I did a lot of dumb things I wouldn't do now. Who hasn't?
Some of us were lucky. Sometimes the luck runs out.

Curious George said...

"Once written, twice... said...
He would obviously been a Trump voter."

The gator would vote for Hillary.

Brando said...

But did he in fact get to fuck the gator? The article does not say!

Stephen Taylor said...

"...He would obviously been a Trump voter...."

This happened in my hometown, and I can assure you that he would have voted Trump. All his family and everyone in that neighborhood voted Trump as well. There is no doubt in my mind. The people in that neighborhood are Trump's people.

No, it's unlikely he fucked the gator, given that his remnants were found inside said gator's belly.

buwaya said...

I cannot comment on Alligators.
Crocodiles however voted for Duterte.

Brando said...

"No, it's unlikely he fucked the gator, given that his remnants were found inside said gator's belly."

Well, he might have fucked it first and then got eaten.

Anne in Rockwall, TX said...

His dream made me sad.

Wince said...

He even looks like Joe Dirt.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Thomas Golianopoulos seems to have a tungsten fetish. Tungsten is not the first element one thinks of as flammable - after all it is used in incandescent filaments and has the highest melting point of all metals - and I wonder about the value of tungsten in a pistol round. Fang Face is an extremely expensive load which in reviews appears to be nothing exceptional.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Maybe before the gator ate him, the gator ate him. IYKWIM, AITYD.

Bob Boyd said...

"When LeBlanc jumped into the water to save him, he yelled for her to return to land."

There's a lot of courage being described in that sentence.

gspencer said...

"Here, hold ma beer. I done got a bayou I gots to be crossing. In the water."

Maybe he read about Timothy Treadwell.

Heartless Aztec said...

Rule of thumb: in the South never ever swim in water that is opaque. Only swim in water that is crtstal gin clear such as a spring. As a person who has long lived with attendant alligators you'll have to trust me on this one.

Bob Boyd said...

"Rule of thumb: in the South never ever swim in water that is opaque."

And don't let your dog go in there either.

Brando said...

"Rule of thumb: in the South never ever swim in water that is opaque."

I'd extend that to the north too--water snakes and snapping turtles not to mention bacteria can make rivers and lakes risky. Though admittedly I swam in them all the time as a kid.

But not in Florida.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Bob Boyd said...
"When LeBlanc jumped into the water to save him, he yelled for her to return to land."

There's a lot of courage being described in that sentence.

2/8/17, 9:12 AM



Ya think?

Pretty people in blue states laugh...I wonder if Ann laughed at that part...but the black bloc may find they have woken the wrong dog some day.

Anonymous said...

People up north don't have deal with alligators so they think its funny. I can assure you there is "stupid" stuff going on up there.

BN said...

"Ha ha, what a dumbass!," we all say. "We are so much smarter than that southern redneck!"

The neutral universe cruelly takes note.

Wanna go for a drive?

Earnest Prole said...

You know you're reading a Darwin Award nomination when the story features a grown man named "Tommie."

Brando said...

"People up north don't have deal with alligators so they think its funny. I can assure you there is "stupid" stuff going on up there."

Living up north I can tell you there's nothing funny about someone getting eaten by a gator. But it is incredibly stupid to mess around with gators, including drunk swimming in the bayous at night when you've been warned there's a large one nearby. You can feel bad about someone while still being a bit judgy about it.

I feel bad for the guy's family going through this.

Clyde said...

Down here in Florida, anyone who's lived here for any length of time knows that you don't go swimming at night in lakes, ponds, creeks, lagoons, bayous or whatever. And you better look in the swimming pool before jumping in, too, if it isn't enclosed. Gators are serious business.

Brando said...

"Down here in Florida, anyone who's lived here for any length of time knows that you don't go swimming at night in lakes, ponds, creeks, lagoons, bayous or whatever. And you better look in the swimming pool before jumping in, too, if it isn't enclosed. Gators are serious business."

I was once canoing with a girlfriend at a park in FL, and another canoe came by with some guys in it and they asked if we'd seen any gators. When we said no, they dove right in the water, and I was thinking "that's a lot of faith in my being able to spot a gator around here".

Pools are better anyway--cleaner, you can see the bottom, and you can heat the water. And you just don't have much chance against a gator in its habitat.

K in Texas said...

Hi roadgeek, I used to live in the same area, and my office was a stone's throw from Adams' bayou. At work, everyone's first and second statements were "that was stupid" and "he must not have been from around here".

Josephbleau said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Josephbleau said...

"But de Gator considered me to be disrespectful", Justin Wilson, 1989. Det for truth I tell you that for now.

Josephbleau said...

Gaurreenteed.