"We will hang up wanted posters of you everywhere you like to go. We will picket on public property as close to your house as we can every day. We will harrass the ever loving shit out of you all the time. Campus is OCCUPIED. State street is OCCUPIED. The Square is OCCUPIED. Vilas, Schenk's Corners, Atwood, Willy Street – Occupied, Occupied, Occupied, Occupied. "
I've suspected for years that cats are plotting against us, and that if they ever developed an effective inter-feline communication network, or opposable thumbs, we were in big trouble.
You could lovingly care for a cat for years, but if one morning you awoke and through some horrifying Kafkaesque metamorphosis you found yourself suddenly 3-inches tall, your cat would bat you around for fun until you were battered and broken, and then eat you.
If you think they have emotional attachments the way that dogs do, you obviously have a brain paracite.
I note before clicking that the link is to the sycophantic, power-worshiping, lewinsky-press NY Times, and so I avoid wasting my limited supply of patience on npr-bourgeois speculative bs about anthropomorphic cats.
(It's Sunday - a day of rest - lighten up! - Hell, no.)
Cats hiss and have fangs. I had one bite all the way through my thumb so that there were bloody fang marks on the underside of my thumb nail. In my opinion, they are nothing but snakes with legs and fur.
I was advised by Sister, when I found a tiny kitten in the shrubbery at work, to hold it as much as possible the first 24 hours and I'd have a loving cat. I did. Couldn't get to a vet for 4 days, at which time I was told the kitten had ringworm and not to touch it. Too late. I already had ringworm. I also had a loving cat. Cats are worth the risk.
By the way, I highly recommend Neil Gaiman's "A Dream of a Thousand Cats" from Vol. III of The Sandman to learn how cats were once the dominant race on planet Earth.
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16 comments:
"We will hang up wanted posters of you everywhere you like to go. We will picket on public property as close to your house as we can every day. We will harrass the ever loving shit out of you all the time. Campus is OCCUPIED. State street is OCCUPIED. The Square is OCCUPIED. Vilas, Schenk's Corners, Atwood, Willy Street – Occupied, Occupied, Occupied, Occupied. "
Cat lover?
Cats make women more extroverted? Is that possible?
I've suspected for years that cats are plotting against us, and that if they ever developed an effective inter-feline communication network, or opposable thumbs, we were in big trouble.
Toxo never occurred to me. What a brilliant plan.
It sounds like cats make men more masculine and women more feminine.
I thought dogs did that.
You could lovingly care for a cat for years, but if one morning you awoke and through some horrifying Kafkaesque metamorphosis you found yourself suddenly 3-inches tall, your cat would bat you around for fun until you were battered and broken, and then eat you.
If you think they have emotional attachments the way that dogs do, you obviously have a brain paracite.
I always thought women with cats were nuts, and I avoided them.
Who knew there was an explanation??
I note before clicking that the link is to the sycophantic, power-worshiping, lewinsky-press NY Times, and so I avoid wasting my limited supply of patience on npr-bourgeois speculative bs about anthropomorphic cats.
(It's Sunday - a day of rest - lighten up! - Hell, no.)
No one owns a cat.
So it's cats' fault that a parasite attacks them, and occasionally other species? How about if we just learn how to cure the problem?
My cat goes potty outside, so I'm safe.
That's what he told me.
"Pussy, pussy, pussy...
to screw, screw screw..."
Huh?
Cat (Icelandic)
This is obviously a hoax. Everyone knows crazy cat ladies are not outgoing or social.
"Women and cats do as they please. Men and dogs should get used to the idea."
That sign hangs in my kitchen at eye level. So I am used to that idea.
Cats hiss and have fangs. I had one bite all the way through my thumb so that there were bloody fang marks on the underside of my thumb nail. In my opinion, they are nothing but snakes with legs and fur.
meforAnd now we learn they are toxic. Snakes, I say again.
I was advised by Sister, when I found a tiny kitten in the shrubbery at work, to hold it as much as possible the first 24 hours and I'd have a loving cat. I did. Couldn't get to a vet for 4 days, at which time I was told the kitten had ringworm and not to touch it. Too late. I already had ringworm. I also had a loving cat. Cats are worth the risk.
By the way, I highly recommend Neil Gaiman's "A Dream of a Thousand Cats" from Vol. III of The Sandman to learn how cats were once the dominant race on planet Earth.
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