tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post8927081888898327535..comments2024-03-29T07:39:44.871-05:00Comments on Althouse: "Why I’m Happier in a Sexless Marriage."Ann Althousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01630636239933008807noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-27743901803602635732013-12-02T09:04:07.585-06:002013-12-02T09:04:07.585-06:00If he stays it works for both since it's not i...If he stays it works for both since it's not important enough of an issue for him to leave.<br />Not making a decision to leave is still a choice.Scuggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331341805101112855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-90817386617877119222013-11-27T13:26:51.312-06:002013-11-27T13:26:51.312-06:00"If it works for them and they are happy good..."If it works for them and they are happy good for them."<br /><br />You misunderstand. It need only work for her. The husband must put up with it or, if he chooses, leave.Trashhaulerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12738976179703348520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-44830384186601865072013-11-27T09:18:35.563-06:002013-11-27T09:18:35.563-06:00If it works for them and they are happy good for t...If it works for them and they are happy good for them. Over the next 50 years you will probably find societal acceptance of a variety of different lifestyles. Multiple partner and multiple couple marriages, communal living, adult/child, human/robot and human/animal are all relationships that will eventually become acceptable in society. People will look back at this period in time and wonder why there was any fuss about gay marriage. Scuggerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00331341805101112855noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-55509027366543126822013-11-27T00:50:47.358-06:002013-11-27T00:50:47.358-06:00A wife may decide if she does not want sex. Her h...A wife may decide if she does not want sex. Her husband is free to agree with her.Trashhaulerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12738976179703348520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-65759570857158656982013-11-26T15:26:31.826-06:002013-11-26T15:26:31.826-06:00How do we know he isn't getting sex elsewhere?...How do we know he isn't getting sex elsewhere? Would she be ok with it if he was?jr565https://www.blogger.com/profile/06250384040393259866noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-12699771492764597362013-11-26T15:24:40.969-06:002013-11-26T15:24:40.969-06:00Seems like B.S. to me. yet, perhaps the gap is fi...Seems like B.S. to me. yet, perhaps the gap is filled with blow jobs? We know from no lesser authority than Bill Clinton that blow jobs are not sex.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-2468751142124133672013-11-26T12:38:03.516-06:002013-11-26T12:38:03.516-06:00Another emasculated liberal girly man.Another emasculated liberal girly man.Alexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11205752419540502278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-48731614183283314932013-11-26T12:11:41.004-06:002013-11-26T12:11:41.004-06:00Of course this supposes that her description of th...<b>Of course this supposes that her description of the husband is true, which it may not be. But men with low sex drive do exist.</b><br /><br />I'm on the low end of the spectrum --- but I need it at least weekly. I'll do more if the wife wants it, which she tends to do more than I do, since it's definitely not unpleasant and I'd hope she'd return the favor if the situations are reversed.damikeschttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02133230009952160269noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-63248429316596002412013-11-26T11:37:41.103-06:002013-11-26T11:37:41.103-06:00She's lucky she married a 34-year-old guy with...She's lucky she married a 34-year-old guy with the sex drive of a 90-year-old man. <br /><br />But we'd all like to hear from the husband directly, just to verify. mcculloughhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03168402889404727565noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-22515662638389419192013-11-26T11:22:18.652-06:002013-11-26T11:22:18.652-06:00I think it's important for us to have an opini...I think it's important for us to have an opinion on other people's sex lives. Thank god some of those people have the decency to write about it in magazines.tim maguirehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07717622436074043099noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-86376354408622283962013-11-26T10:33:02.151-06:002013-11-26T10:33:02.151-06:00Sex is an emotional need.
People can have whate...Sex <i>is</i> an emotional need. <br /><br />People can have whatever marriage they agree on. But why promote it?NotWhoIUsedtoBehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14568355742926021406noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-5213924297093071252013-11-26T10:26:44.720-06:002013-11-26T10:26:44.720-06:00One of them is a beard. One of them is a beard. Known Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15029003649395214104noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-35806194701435435782013-11-26T10:26:06.091-06:002013-11-26T10:26:06.091-06:00Maybe she's frigid.Maybe she's frigid.Doughttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15741966714510339124noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-37326111948005652262013-11-26T10:18:32.858-06:002013-11-26T10:18:32.858-06:00Wouldn't it be more correct to call this an as...Wouldn't it be more correct to call this an asexual orientation. Unless one also calls atheism a religious orientation....Trashhaulerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12738976179703348520noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-13892956984659512652013-11-26T09:44:40.720-06:002013-11-26T09:44:40.720-06:00> I’m Happier in a Sexless Marriage.
Sounds li...> I’m Happier in a Sexless Marriage.<br /><br />Sounds like my ex.<br /><br />> What would I do if my husband wanted more sex? <br />> Well, then, he wouldn’t be my husband.<br /><br />Yup. That's (one reason) why she's my ex.art.the.nerdhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15217116501544593071noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-10063132894442245372013-11-26T09:43:54.125-06:002013-11-26T09:43:54.125-06:00"Those who restrain desire, do so because the..."Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained; and the restrainer or reason usurps its place & governs the unwilling."<br /><br />But who even tries to restrain sexual desire (for one's partner) in marriage? The opposite is what happens: People try to do what they think they should despite adequate desire. You can disparage others, saying they lack enough desire, but you should see that you don't know whether many proceed to perform acts where they lack sexual desire.<br /><br />They WANT to do these acts, but why do they want them if they haven't enough desire? Those are the people who seem the saddest, the most conventional. <br /><br />I think it's better to really have your authentic desire and yet not have sex than to not have authentic sexual desire and yet perform sex anyway. <br /><br />(Unless you're striving for pregnancy.)Ann Althousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01630636239933008807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-71928370828808666242013-11-26T09:39:36.408-06:002013-11-26T09:39:36.408-06:00She claims to be attractive. If so, he's gay....She claims to be attractive. If so, he's gay.<br /><br />She knows it too.Bill Rhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17900786056156238523noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-47905762794753305902013-11-26T09:38:45.231-06:002013-11-26T09:38:45.231-06:00How do people know whether they are doing what the...How do people know whether they are doing what they want to do?<br /><br />My assumption is that whatever people are doing, when they have the power to do other things, it's what they want to do.<br /><br />Now, if they somehow also think they should want to do something else, they should examine why they think that and if they want to change what they want then they can try, but they'll know what they want when they see what they are doing.<br /><br />If somebody else has an opinion about the way people should do something other than what they are doing, they need to examine both why they think that AND why they think it's their business. <br /><br />I assume that they are doing what THEY want to do which is to have opinions about what other people do.<br /><br />And what I'm doing is saying that, because I want to.Ann Althousehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01630636239933008807noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-62598945747987340362013-11-26T09:20:09.308-06:002013-11-26T09:20:09.308-06:00“Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs i...“Those who restrain desire, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained; and the restrainer or reason usurps its place & governs the unwilling.<br />“And being restrain'd it by degrees becomes passive till it is only the shadow of desire.”<br />William Blake, <i>The Marriage of Heaven and Hell</i>Michael McNeilhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14079419067976326138noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-32506689048878821862013-11-26T09:18:42.708-06:002013-11-26T09:18:42.708-06:00This isn't a sexual orientation. It's a li...<i>This isn't a sexual orientation. It's a lie</i><br /><br />Why does it have to be a lie? Me and my wife have been married for almost 30 years now. We had an extremely active sex life for the first 10 years of our marriage - deeply passionate, wonderfully caring, and varied in what we both felt comfortable with.<br /><br />Over time, we have both lost a lot of our drive, but not our love for each other. "Rarely" wold be the right word foe sex now, but our marriage is as strong as ever, we remain very loving and affectionate with each other, and we are both very comfortable and happy with our life together.<br /><br />There are many paths to a successful marriage, so what is wrong with being happy with little to no sex if that is what both partners want?AustinRothhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06257677817380704740noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-40574076979064058342013-11-26T09:17:46.416-06:002013-11-26T09:17:46.416-06:00I'm only going by this excerpt, but does the w...<i>I'm only going by this excerpt, but does the whole piece read as selfish as this "What would I do if my husband wanted more sex? Well, then, he wouldn’t be my husband..."?</i><br /><br />I think she's being pragmatic. If she wanted sex six times a year and he six times a week, compromise would be hopeless, intimacy destroyed and the marriage would collapse. Note that she explains just this in the same paragraph.Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04450897654318345683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-61555324988954060182013-11-26T09:14:29.882-06:002013-11-26T09:14:29.882-06:00A marriage is considered sexless if sex occurs six...A marriage is considered sexless if sex occurs six or fewer times a year.<br /><br />In this case, if it is genuinely a mutual decision, I'm happy for them--they found someone truly compatible in each other. The misery is when there a vastly differing expectations made worse when one party unilaterally decides to enforce theirs.<br /><br />Joehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04450897654318345683noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-69330291100759743932013-11-26T09:09:30.974-06:002013-11-26T09:09:30.974-06:00This isn't a sexual orientation. It's a l...This isn't a sexual orientation. It's a lie, and she's hoping that if she repeats it loudly and frequently, then it will become the truth.madAsHellhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01149940549262340795noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-27771160664945811852013-11-26T08:59:47.261-06:002013-11-26T08:59:47.261-06:00Well, I read the whole article (no offense, but it...Well, I read the whole article (no offense, but it seems that many of you didn't) and their "happy sexless marriage" seems to be the product of a union of two people with sex drives at the left-hand side of the distribution. It's good that they found each other. <br /><br />Of course this supposes that her description of the husband is true, which it may not be. But men with low sex drive do exist.Brianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06451017689625713209noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-17034759793912938492013-11-26T08:56:46.148-06:002013-11-26T08:56:46.148-06:00Maybe the husband prefers a sexless marriage to a ...Maybe the husband prefers a sexless marriage to a divorce which leaves him separated from his children and financially destroyed.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00135513067024894951noreply@blogger.com