tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post8498610101494936238..comments2024-03-29T00:04:32.434-05:00Comments on Althouse: "I like the soft roundedness I’ve found in women, the scratchy ridiculousness I’ve found in men, and the culinary generosity I’ve found in both."Ann Althousehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01630636239933008807noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-90729615378941850342013-04-28T09:15:02.900-05:002013-04-28T09:15:02.900-05:00Because you see, MayBee, she is a special snowflak...Because you see, MayBee, she is a special snowflake. She's just hipster posing.Æthelflædhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16332838962205821653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-17116825992723355242013-04-28T06:04:49.106-05:002013-04-28T06:04:49.106-05:00Why would being attracted to women as well as men ...Why would being attracted to women as well as men make a good excuse to not be monogamous?<br /><br />It isn't any different than being straight and being attracted to men other than your husband. <br /><br />So this chick is bisexual. She made her choice to marry a man. With that, other attractions become moot. How much does he want to hear about other people she might be attracted to?<br /><br />"What restaurant shall we go to?"<br />"I can't decide. I've always been promiscuous"MayBeehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11966319657113124861noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-78346804982451872082013-04-28T02:14:13.836-05:002013-04-28T02:14:13.836-05:00"they don't have any interest in the crap...<br />"<i>they don't have any interest in the crap that passes as 'gay culture'.</i>"<br /><br />Fair enough, but to paraphrase George Gilder: is it really any more crap than the rest of our culture these days?<br />Kirk Parkerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05921711310191924997noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-18007218904580030842013-04-27T22:50:31.483-05:002013-04-27T22:50:31.483-05:00Can't believe I used one of this months NYT li...Can't believe I used one of this months NYT links following that BS. women can be bi. Men can't. Jimhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05006327947962804096noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-25480126230282145042013-04-27T22:41:15.137-05:002013-04-27T22:41:15.137-05:00Another candidate for the Pit 'O Hell. Come on...Another candidate for the Pit 'O Hell. Come on down!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-71350558104057542332013-04-27T19:55:24.533-05:002013-04-27T19:55:24.533-05:00My wife admitted she was also attracted to women a...My wife admitted she was also attracted to women about a year or so into our marriage. She was quite worried that I would consider it a problem.<br /><br />On the contrary. Neither one of us was the jealous type, and it turned into some interesting play with other like minded women...Crunchy Froghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12817138913728820310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-52261895323745490562013-04-27T19:54:05.415-05:002013-04-27T19:54:05.415-05:00My wife admitted she was also attracted to women a...My wife admitted she was also attracted to women about a year or so into our marriage. She was quite worried that I would consider it a problem.<br /><br />On the contrary. Neither one of us was the jealous type, and it turned into some interesting play with other like minded women...Crunchy Froghttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12817138913728820310noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-36744662600322261472013-04-27T19:37:01.682-05:002013-04-27T19:37:01.682-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-60026458449288280822013-04-27T19:33:41.837-05:002013-04-27T19:33:41.837-05:00Good God, if you think being married to Wilson Die...Good God, if you think being married to Wilson Diehl would be difficult, imagine being married to n.n.!Palladianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01105490715666718993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-63251263592317147672013-04-27T19:31:28.093-05:002013-04-27T19:31:28.093-05:00I think a non-monogamous relationship undermines t...I think a non-monogamous relationship undermines the quality of intimacy between two people. It serves to confuse the commitment two people have made to each other. It has a similar effect to pornography, but also career, hobbies, etc. when they promote isolation.<br /><br />I think this problem can be more easily understood when described with set theory. Each partner is a set. They join together in a union. When this happens there is an intersection. The greater the intersection, the more compatible the union. The introduction of other sets reduces the relative intersection of the original union. With a decorrelation of the original union, the result is a progressive disunion, which will ultimately lead to a separation of the original sets.<br /><br />This is a simplified model of a relationship. It is effective to understand the dynamic, but it obfuscates the details of the relevant sets and multiplicity of intersections between them.<br /><br />A relationship, and, actually, an individual human being, is a systems problem, where not only are there multiple systems, but there are also a multiplicity of transitions, each exhibiting a chaotic behavior (i.e. bounded with random intermediate behavior).n.nhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04252447117532342957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-12233900527469282112013-04-27T18:53:20.929-05:002013-04-27T18:53:20.929-05:00Will Cate, I think that IS the NYT's standard....Will Cate, I think that IS the NYT's standard. We're pretty certain 'truth' is not part of their standard.<br /><br />Oooooooohhhhhhh, transgressiveness!Sam L.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00996809377798862214noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-66111611476021944742013-04-27T18:51:03.411-05:002013-04-27T18:51:03.411-05:00There was a study many years ago, even before the ...There was a study many years ago, even before the "sexual revolution" as I recall, that was about tracing sexual contacts in a syphilis case in New York. The journal, I think the NEJM, published a chart like epidemiologists use showing all the traced contacts, starting with the "index case." It was a big family with lots of contacts you would not expect including a bunch of female to female contacts. It was the first time I realized how common female bisexuality is.Michael Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18127450762129879267noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-33825207361170951052013-04-27T18:40:37.336-05:002013-04-27T18:40:37.336-05:00Acm,
In the case of a wife admitting this to a hu...Acm,<br /> In the case of a wife admitting this to a husband, I don't think it would threaten the marriage as much, because men seem to get off on female/ female sex. However, if a husband would come out to his wife as being attracted to other men, even though he is still attracted to her, hmmmm, I just think it would be a much bigger issue. <br /><br />Again I'll readily admit I could be wrong. I'm thinking of my own marriage, if my husband would've told me he was attracted to other men, I would have been devastated.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-62115129159701305582013-04-27T18:38:13.738-05:002013-04-27T18:38:13.738-05:00I wouldn't say my faith has helped me overcome...I wouldn't say my faith has helped me overcome my feelings--I and other religious folks who experience same-sex attraction never expect to quote pray away the gay unquote--but it has certainly contextualized those feelings for me, and given me a structure for sort-of understanding them and dealing with them. <br /><br />It's really not that different from being attracted to men who are not my husband, except that if I were to be single again someday, I would never consider a relationship with a woman but I would with a man. I Have Misplaced My Pantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16170206151454145154noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-22394354793356495172013-04-27T18:38:03.156-05:002013-04-27T18:38:03.156-05:00I had a friend who just liked sex, didn't matt...I had a friend who just liked sex, didn't matter who it was with, men or women. He was a very good-looking guy, who happened to be a hedonist. i don't know that he "identified" as anything.Æthelflædhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16332838962205821653noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-11213388701811158212013-04-27T18:31:40.439-05:002013-04-27T18:31:40.439-05:00Inga, I'm not sure what would be so different ...Inga, I'm not sure what would be so different about a married woman admitting she's bi, to an appropriate person like her husband? Surely Mr. Pants and Mr. Diehl get (on some level) that their wives are attracted to other people. As long as the wife is still attracted to the husband, and faithful, not insensitive about ogling, what difference would it make? Coming out as bi to ones husband strikes me as similar to coming out as one who likes blondes, or some other type that the husband is not---"Honey, when you are dead and I am old, I will probably take a lover who is different from you." Weird, maybe, but not at all like coming out as gay-gay. If a spouse came out as totally gay to the opposite sex spouse/beard, then he/she is saying "Not attracted to you, never was, thanks anyway" acmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18421205074958587060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-58789604418729106052013-04-27T18:30:18.083-05:002013-04-27T18:30:18.083-05:00OK, that was a cheap joke, but it needed to be mad...OK, that was a cheap joke, but it needed to be made. There are plenty of Democrats who are closet cases too.<br /><br />If I played my cards right, I could get an article published in the New York Times.Palladianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01105490715666718993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-11974449645425832512013-04-27T18:28:28.945-05:002013-04-27T18:28:28.945-05:00I call these types of men "Republicans"....I call these types of men "Republicans".Palladianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01105490715666718993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-47786650283083614772013-04-27T18:26:42.672-05:002013-04-27T18:26:42.672-05:00I've had sex with many men who were in relatio...I've had sex with many men who were in relationships with women (even married to them), and the closest that any of them ever came to describing themselves as bisexual was "I'm straight... well, maybe bi" or "I'm mostly straight". These guys clearly liked sex with women, but they also liked sex with men. I think the difference was that (to many of them) sex with men was something they liked to do, not what they <i>were</i>. I believe that this is a valid and common form of male sexuality, and shouldn't be mocked or overlooked as people desperately try to shoe-horn people into categories of orientation. There certainly are many people, including myself, who <i>are</i> gay. There are also, I'm sure, some people who <i>are</i> bisexual. But there are many people who <i>are</i> straight who also occasionally like to have sex with people of the same sex. That's not bisexuality.<br /><br />There's also a fair number of men who lead "straight" lives, with girlfriends or wives, who <i>are</i> gay, but have decided that living a straight life is easier for various reasons, or who feel like they can't live as a gay man because they don't have any interest in the crap that passes as "gay culture".Palladianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01105490715666718993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-71468730423707260072013-04-27T18:25:45.098-05:002013-04-27T18:25:45.098-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Palladianhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01105490715666718993noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-62954413514256513122013-04-27T18:18:57.701-05:002013-04-27T18:18:57.701-05:00Wow, thanks for being so honest Pants. I'm sho...Wow, thanks for being so honest Pants. I'm shocked to say the least. Maybe I'm a prude. Or I'm just one of those people in the studies that would not react to female on female porn. I can quite honestl say I've never experienced sexual feelings toward female, so the reality of true bisexuality is hard for me to grasp. So in your case your faith has helped you overcome these feelings?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-38652882316679332182013-04-27T18:18:11.997-05:002013-04-27T18:18:11.997-05:00Acm already covered what I was going to write. I d...Acm already covered what I was going to write. I don't see any new ideas in there. I've heard people talk like this since high school.Freeman Hunthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16202310075717963694noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-42073662619036228802013-04-27T18:11:49.034-05:002013-04-27T18:11:49.034-05:00So it appears that the study points to the suspici...So it appears that the study points to the suspicion I've had about bisexual people. <br /><br />But studies can be wrong too.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-41652803492197896962013-04-27T18:11:12.251-05:002013-04-27T18:11:12.251-05:00Ann, it's not at all original for bisexuals ma...Ann, it's not at all original for bisexuals married-to-men to insist upon inserting their stories into the gay rights discussion. The stereotype of bisexual as attention whore/martyr is actually way more familiar to me than the "it's a phase" or the archaic "they spread AIDS" (especially since we're talking about bi women). It's old, obnoxious, "OMG me too" ground she's covering, not a fresh new niche. <br /><br />I do get that "because, bisexual" is a joke, but it's an obnoxious one that plays on a dumb stereotype and that forces people to think about her sex life when it wouldn't otherwise come up. She doesn't say it's part of her banter with her guy, but her way of disclosing it when the matter (i.e. her totally real, hot, crushes) doesn't come up organically. It's dumb. acmhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18421205074958587060noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6329595.post-35769536022801057482013-04-27T18:11:07.363-05:002013-04-27T18:11:07.363-05:00Inga: I suppose, in some sense, I am bisexual, be...Inga: I suppose, in some sense, I am bisexual, because I had sex with males and females before my marriage (to a man) and I still have sexual thoughts about women cross my mind.<br /><br />I don't think about the bisexual label much in relation to myself, and I don't talk about my "orientation" not because I'm closeted or something, but because it's just not that relevant. I don't act on those feelings anymore--even to the extent of fantasy or in other private ways--because I believe my church's teachings on the sinfulness of acting on sexual feelings outside of the marriage relationship.<br /><br />This is more than I've talked about it in ages-it just doesn't come up. My husband knows about it but we don't really talk about it. A few close friends do, but only because we were talking about sexuality and religious beliefs. I Have Misplaced My Pantshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16170206151454145154noreply@blogger.com