November 19, 2019

The NYT collects late-night TV-talk-show jokes about Trump's unannounced visit to Walter Reed hospital for what was said to be "phase 1" of his annual physical.

Here's the link to the NYT. I'll just put the jokes in the order that I think they're any good (and I'll leave it to you to determine if I've put this best to worst or worst to best):
“Press Secretary Stephanie Grisham later explained that Trump decided to get parts of his physical done early because he had a ‘free weekend in Washington.’ O.K., that’s the saddest thing I’ve ever heard. [Imitating Trump] ‘Hmm, let’s see, I’ve got the day off. I could spend it with my children — not really my thing. Uh, with my wife? No, she hates me. Uh, my friends? All in jail. Uh, tell you what: I’ll just go to the hospital and have them stick me with needles, just to feel something.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Phase 1 was this weekend, Phase 2 is next — was this a physical or a kitchen remodel?” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“But Trump said he’s feeling great. Today he was like, ‘I’m the picture of health. I do 10 steps a day, I drink eight glasses of Diet Coke, and I try to get a good seven to eight hours of tweeting.’” — JIMMY FALLON

“I am sincerely relieved to say that it looks like there’s nothing wrong with the president’s health. I might not be Trump’s biggest fan, but I don’t want him to leave the White House feet first. I want handcuffs first.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Now, because no one trusts this White House, everyone is wildly speculating about what actually happened. Did Trump have a heart problem or a stroke? And if he did have a stroke, how would you even be able to tell? Yeah. No, because the symptoms of a stroke are slurred speech, confusion and erratic behavior. For Trump, that’s a Tuesday!” — TREVOR NOAH

“Was it a health emergency or did he need to get a marble removed from his nose again? We don’t know.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Phase 1 of a physical? That sounded strange so we did some digging and discovered that his annual physical has five phases, so let’s take a look now at the five phases of Donald Trump’s annual physical. Phase 1: Measure his official height and negotiate his official weight. Phase 2: A complete strip, spackle, priming and repainting. Phase 3: His annual battery of paternity tests. Phase 4: Surgically remove his hand from a Nutella jar. And finally, Phase 5: Ask about getting breast implants — not the procedure, he just wants to play around with them.” — SETH MEYERS

“In fact, if Trump ever starts speaking normally, that’s when Melania should call 911. It’d be like, ‘Hello, ambulance? Something is wrong with my husband — he just finished a crossword puzzle. Please send help!’” — TREVOR NOAH

“Yes, Trump’s first part of his physical is going to be such a hit that next year, they’re coming out with a sequel: ‘Colonoscopy 2: 2 Blocked 2 Scope.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“I just had one. My doctor never said, ‘O.K., uh, drop your pants, uh, bend over, try to relax — I’ll be back in six months.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“He’s faster than a tweeting bullet. He’s able to bankrupt tall buildings in a single bound.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

103 comments:

Drago said...

Now do RBG.

Bay Area Guy said...

Hahaha - Hilarious! .......

Bay Area Guy said...

Not!

Iman said...

Not funny and what passes for talent is just another sign of decay and, like, the dumbing down of America.

Wince said...

Trump getting his opponents to take the bait.

"I'll show you how to get apples."

rcocean said...

A lot of hate, and not much humor. "If he had a stroke, how could you tell?" whack, whack. Pathetic.

To be funny it has to have some truth. Trump speaks for hours in his rallies, and destroys the media every press conference. Painting him as "dumb" never worked. Nor does the 'his family hates him, and he has no friends". That worked with Richard Nixon and no one else. Remember these current "late night talk show guys" aren't Johnny Carson. They aren't telling jokes to 5-10% of America. With 300 TV cable channels, their audience is 2% of the USA - and only includes those that hate Trump.

narayanan said...

well done indeed.

no politics at all -

Dave Begley said...

For humor to be effective, there has to be a bit of truth to it. Does Jimmy know that Trump's wife hates him? No. Pure speculation.

So much of what is broadcast today is speculation, feelings and opinion.

I don't care what the Fake News feels or thinks.

PM said...

At least nothing vile like the Melania SeeYouOnTuesday #metoo laughfest.
Also, "See you in six months" is a pretty funny line.

wendybar said...

What Drago said at 10:20 am. When are we ever going to see a live picture of her again??

Jeff said...

And these people get paid for this? Belches and farts are cleverer and funnier.

Michael K said...

I prefer the Alex Jones theory. More interesting and probably a grain of truth

YoungHegelian said...

It's really hard to do satire about something or someone that the comic really loathes. The pissiness just shines through & ruins the humor. A dig here or there at the object of loathing may be funny, but a steady diet just seems like an exercise in splenetic mania.

Infinite Monkeys said...

They left out the rumor speculating that he was poisoned.

None of those quotations are funny to me. They all sound so arrogant and hateful. There are jokes that make fun of Trump that I do find funny, but most of them are ones that he's told himself - which makes me wonder (I don't watch late night talk shows) do any of those hosts do any self-deprecating humor?

rcocean said...

If the Network Execs, or comedy central execs wanted better ratings, they'd appeal to the 45% of the USA that voted Trump. Or they'd get better jokes and comedians. But they can do whatever they want. They can harass women, protect their rapist buddies, put on low rated shows, etc. and it don't mattah. As long as Big Boss x likes Little Boss Y, they've got it made.

Anonymous said...

Fallon's was the only one that even elicited a grin.

rcocean said...

That's why talk of the "Free Market" is bullshit. These TV execs are protected from any kind of market forces. The only way they get fired is for enough big advertisers to demand they get canned, and that never happens. Jeff Zucker ran CNN into the ground rating wise, did he get fired? No.

stevew said...

Clearest evidence yet that they are not very good at the Comedy thing. Some of those jokes are mildly amusing, but totally predictable. We should expect and get more from the so-called professionals.

The Crack Emcee said...

I don't find any of the Late Night comics funny.

mccullough said...

I didn’t see them, just read them. Perhaps tone and timing improve them.

clint said...

Do people really not have two-phase annual physicals?

I have to go in one day to get blood drawn, then come back the next week for the full physical and to discuss the results of the blood tests.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

Mocking end of year doc visits.

Kinda sad. WE all go to the doc this time of year.
Well, if your a golden-colon prick named Steven Colbert - it's all hot tubs and little boys.

rcocean said...

"I just had one. My doctor never said, ‘O.K., uh, drop your pants, uh, bend over, try to relax — I’ll be back in six months.’”

How is this even classified as a "Joke"? Same with the "Remodel" joke.

Nonapod said...

Yeah, most of those are pretty lame.

But in fairness, I've always found the vast majority of late night monologues pretty lame and hacky, even those by the sainted Johnny Carson. The writers have to come up with so much material daily for a supposedly mainstream audience that there's no way it could generally be of a particularly good quality. They'll always go for the obvious, low hanging fruit.

cubanbob said...

The revenge Trump can get is if the Republicans win the trifecta next year is to unbundle cable and let the customer pick the channels they want.

rcocean said...

Of course, what's Funny is very subjective. I agree with Scott Adams that 30% have no sense of humor. OTOH, some peeps will laugh at ANYTHING. Every time my wife and i go to the movies we're astounded that the audience will laugh at the most tired, predicable jokes.

Someone farts: Gales of laughter
Some kid or Grandma says a dirty word: Gales of Laughter
Someone Trips: Gales of Laughter.

Drago said...

The Crack Emcee: "I don't find any of the Late Night comics funny."

Its impossible to be entertaining if virtue signalling alone is the objective.

Chris said...

I suppose if I hated trump those might pass for funny.

rcocean said...

"The revenge Trump can get is if the Republicans win the trifecta next year is to unbundle cable and let the customer pick the channels they want."

I agree. It doesn't happen because Disney and the "Entertainment" Industry has bribed some GOP Senators and Congressmen. It's all about the Greenbacks baby.

rcocean said...

To say all late night comedy is bad, is absurd. These jokes are really Lame. They are D+ jokes. Carson didn't always do A+ Comedy, but even on his worse night, he was better than this crap.

Char Char Binks, Esq. said...

"I agree with Scott Adams that 30% have no sense of humor. OTOH, some peeps will laugh at ANYTHING."

That's the same hand.

Nonapod said...

The only late night host who had particularly funny opening monlogues was Craig Ferguson, and usually it wasn't because of the written jokes but because of his extemporaneous reactions.

And while I find most late night opening monologues pretty awful, other sketches and bits can be better. Some of my favorites included those Conan O'Brien bits where they'd have cutout lips over still pictures, like this one riffing on the time that Zell Miller challenged Chris Mathews to a duel.

rehajm said...

Not comedy, therapy.

I laugh at the fact these people go home and cry themselves to sleep watching West Wing reruns.

William said...

I suppose if you really, truly hate Trump, then you might find some of those jokes amusing. What's annoying is how all the late night comics are on the same page when it comes to Trump or, for that matter, every other Republican. Doesn't anyone at the networks realize how one sided and biased this makes them look?

bleh said...

Trevor Noah is the worst. So bland and lamely unfunny. Horrible comedian. I have no clue how he ended up as a highly successful entertainer.

gahrie said...

Doesn't anyone at the networks realize how one sided and biased this makes them look?

Sure. They just don't care.

Lloyd W. Robertson said...

At Trump's age (turned 73 a few months ago) it's a good idea to get a physical even more often than once a year. Unfortunately, wherever he goes for medical attention, he has to get in line behind Bernie Sanders (78), Joe Biden (77), and Elizabeth Warren (70). Bob Mueller (75) used to be in line as well, but he's now living in a home where the media can never find him.

Bah dah boom.

richlb said...

I read the first and last joke. You better have listed them worst to best. Although I've had issues with your sense of humor in the past (notably your lack of understanding of satire).

Bruce Hayden said...

“I prefer the Alex Jones theory. More interesting and probably a grain of truth”

For those who missed it, the Jones theory is that there was an attempt to poison Trump with a time release, hard to detect, poison. His food taster got very sick, and they needed to do tests on the President that they couldn’t do in the WH clinic to test for the poison. In short, an unsuccessful assassination attempt. It was probably not the first attempt to poison Trump, and one Secret Service agent, acting as his food taster, may have died in a previous assassination attempt. The agent apparently collapsed after testing some food destined for the President, then later died from a massive stroke.

Is this likely? Is it likely that there have been, and continue to be, attempts on Trump’s life? Given the actions of the #Resistance, and so many on the Democrats side trying to overturn the 2016 election, it wouldn’t surprise me. Note that some of the statements by Obama CIA Director Brennan could be read as threats against Trump’s life. Moreover, contrary to their fantasy that the Russians, known for their skill in poisoning, tried to throw the election to Trump, he has clearly been far more detrimental to their interests than “Reset” Clinton ever would have been. The Chinese too, with his tariffs, and actions aimed at checking their territorial aspirations, would have ample motive for working towards regime change here.

eric said...

I'm guessing it losses something when it's written down rather than performed.

I didn't find any of them to be funny.

Francisco D said...

I don't find any of the Late Night comics funny.

Leno was the last one I would spend 5 minutes on. He never got nasty.

Johnny Carson was a liberal Democrat, but you never got the sense that he was shilling for his party.

chuck said...

Meh.

Susan said...

Do they still have food tasters?

Really? I had no idea that was still a thing.

There is nothing funny about that.

bagoh20 said...

Needs more cowbell, and a laugh track.

What's amazing is that they pay writers pretty well to come up with that stuff. Are any of them over 12 years old? It's just lame and weak.

bagoh20 said...

"Johnny Carson was a liberal Democrat...".
So pretty much a modern conservative.

Amadeus 48 said...

Did you hear the one about Nixon? He watched Patton six times until he had it down Pat!

Joke told by Bette Midler onstage in her act in 1973.

Folks, lame jokes about Republicans are not new. There are probably some about Dems, too, but the Donks are not funny. They are scary.

Oh yeah, Bob Hope in The Ghost Breakers (1940):

Richard Carlson: It's worse than horrible because a zombie has no will of his own. You see them sometimes walking around blindly with dead eyes, following orders, not knowing what they do, not caring.

Bob Hope: You mean like Democrats?

Kelly said...

I wouldn’t expect a late night comedian to ignore the Trump story as they have said they’re part of the resistance. What puzzles me is the NYT collecting the clips. Do they normally do round ups like this?

purplepenquin said...

It is really surreal seeing the same folks who used to joke about Hilary having a stroke are now clutching their pearls 'cause someone says that exact same thing about Trump. It is even more surreal seeing the same folks who used to joke about Obama's wife being a man are now offended when someone jokes about Trumps wife 'cause we don't really know if she hates him or not.


The script is the same as it always has been, just different actors now playing other roles.

Automatic_Wing said...

Has the NYT always considered late night comedian jokes to be newsworthy or this a new thing?

Known Unknown said...

"Did you hear the one about Nixon? He watched Patton six times until he had it down Pat!"

My favorite Nixon quip was his own when he said in a debate or speech -- "America can't stand Pat."

Drago said...

purplepenquin: "It is really surreal seeing the same folks who used to joke about Hilary having a stroke are now clutching their pearls 'cause someone says that exact same thing about Trump."

More pathetic purplepenguin lies.

Unexpectedly!

The Hillary jokes all dealt with the immediate, uniform defense mode you whackjobs leaped to in pretending she hadnt collapsed.

Hillary collapsed on camera.

But you idiots with you pretend jedi mind tricks thought you could convince us otherwise.

All followed by Bernies "no big deal" heart attack and RBG's no big deal pancreatic cancer emergency surgery.

The joke is on you...and is you.

rehajm said...

His food taster got very sick...

We can all hope he was a leftie deep stater! Bah dump bump.

Hard to fathom how I don’t have my own late night show...

Amadeus 48 said...

"Hard to fathom how I don’t have my own late night show..."

Time for a double feature:

The King of Comedy

followed by

Joker

You'll figure it out.

James K said...

The only late night host who had particularly funny opening monlogues was Craig Ferguson

Agreed. And he's out of a job, presumably because he didn't regularly do political (i.e. left wing) "humor."

Tank said...

Recently watched a Bill Burr special.

That was funny.

Watch it and compare to the above.

Churchy LaFemme: said...

But in fairness, I've always found the vast majority of late night monologues pretty lame and hacky, even those by the sainted Johnny Carson. The writers have to come up with so much material daily for a supposedly mainstream audience that there's no way it could generally be of a particularly good quality. They'll always go for the obvious, low hanging fruit.

But.. Carson excelled at riding out bad jokes. In fact I think he asked his staff to write some stinkers so he could react to the audience non-reaction to them.

rcocean said...

"It is really surreal seeing the same folks who used to joke about Hilary having a stroke"

I don't remember anyone here doing that. And who cares? This is how the left rolls. Any crappy behavior on their part is defended as "Well, conservatives or R's did that back in whenever". So if any conservative did something bad, then the Left is justified in responding in Kind - FOREVER. Ridiculous.

The Crack Emcee said...

Tank said...

"Recently watched a Bill Burr special.

That was funny.

Watch it and compare to the above."

There is no comparison: Bill Burr is funny.

rcocean said...

A hilarious example of this. Meet the Press. Liberal Democrat Chuck Todd responded to someone saying the Impeachment Inquiry was "partisan" with "So, the 1998 Impeachment wasn't partisan?". Astounding.

rcocean said...

I am sincerely relieved to say that it looks like there’s nothing wrong with the president’s health. I might not be Trump’s biggest fan, but I don’t want him to leave the White House feet first. I want handcuffs first.” — Colbert.

That's not funny -that's just left-wing crazy.

purplepenquin said...

Can always count on Drago to chime in with his That was totally different 'cause ours was TRUE!!1!" defense, along with more of his usual lies about what I have said and done in the past.

Despite what he keeps trying to paint me as, I ain't a Clinton supporter - at all. Nor did I ever "defend" her from the jokes about a stroke. Never said anything at all about Sanders & Ginsberg either. Saying I have is simply bullshit he has made up, totally on his own, with no truth what-so-ever to it.

Bruce Hayden said...

“Do they still have food tasters?”

“Really? I had no idea that was still a thing”

I didn’t either. Having to have food tasters is so (literally) Byzantine. But it shouldn’t surprise anyone. It has gotten fairly difficult to take out Presidents conventionally. The Secret Service are very good against conventional threats. Trump appears to usually be wearing some body armor, at least outside the WH. The SS have access to pretty much everything in our national arsenal, except for nuclear weaponry, large ships, and bombers. They apparently travel with a helicopter gunship, crew served (including M2 HMGs) and antitank weapons, and have armed fighter jets at least on call, and escorting AF-1, when possibly needed.

What is interesting though is that this level of protection is mostly hidden from the public eye. We can, through long experience, detect the SS right around the President. Outdoors, they are the ones with dark glasses, ear pieces, who are always looking away from their primary - though those dark glasses have supposedly gone very high tech in recent years. This low key side of Presidential protection shows up in not having the food tasters standing right by the President, sampling everything he eats, but rather having it prechecked, by, for example, a food taster, then delivered to the President by highly vetted and trusted people. One of the articles I read last night told of Trump meeting with Republican Senators, with him watching them eat, and not being able to join in, because food for him hadn’t been vetted and tested. Just part of the job, unfortunately. I think that the reason that this all is so well hidden is the anti aristocratic sentiments of so much of our populace throughout our history.

jrapdx said...

Let's see, latest Late Night Comedian score (per NYT compilation): 0 for 10. Reflects the decrepit state of what passes for TV entertainment. Sad indeed.

When I was a kid and acting up thinking I was being funny, Mom would say "yeah, you're a real 'commodian' alright".

Mom's term fits these late night boobs, real commodians to the core.

Bob Boyd said...

Since the inception of the format, late night talk show hosts have been slaves to the purely arbitrary notion that comedy has to be "funny".
I'm glad to see that's finally changing.

purplepenquin said...

I don't remember anyone here doing that.

Pretty sure there were posts, not just comments, about her "stroke". Might have been before your time.

This is how the left rolls. Any crappy behavior on their part is defended as "Well, conservatives or R's did that back in whenever". So if any conservative did something bad, then the Left is justified in responding in Kind - FOREVER

Just the "left", eh? Heh. Its funny you beleive as such. I see lots of folks all across the political & social spectrum also rolling that way - but I tend to see a lot of stuff that partisans (on all sides) tend to miss.

For the record - I said it was surreal to see this happening here&now. I ain't appalled, or angry, or offended. Ain't casting judgement at all, rather just appreciating the surrealness of it all.

My name goes here. said...

Amateur attempt 1

Trump was rushed to the hospital unexpectedly Sunday. The Washington Post is reporting that Trump just learned that After Bernie Sander's cardiac arrest that Bernie rose in the polls. Trump wanted to see if he could schedule a heart attack for Tuesday before the impeachment hearings begin.

The White House released a statement that this was phase 1 of his physical. Phase 2 cannot occur until Hillary Clinton lets him out of the apartment in her head where he as been living for the last 3 years rent free.

The exam was broken up because apparently they cannot do a proper chest X-ray while a person is tweeting. Trump said he would pencil them in in between Elizabeth Warren finding someone to not tax and Bernie Sanders evading her.

While he was at the Hospital Trump asked for tour. Of course they gave him one and in typical fashion he talked about all of the upgrades and improvements he would like to make to the place to make it really classy. He said he would like to do something nice and personally pay for upgrades to the Ruth Bader Ginsburg suite. They told they would love that but it is never unoccupied long enough to repaint.

Trump asked the cardiac doctor if he was a democrat, the physician replied "no, why are you asking?" Trump said "You made we walk up five flights of stairs - no elevators!- to get here, what are you trying to do, kill me?" The doctor apologized and said that the elevators have been down for remodels ever since Vice President Pence was here last week.


gilbar said...

“What Pelosi actually said:
‘The weak response to these hearings has been, 'Let the election decide.' That dangerous position would allow the general public to choose what happens in our country"

Iman said...

The Times knows that the Democrats look to comedians, who inform their policies and strategy.

Drago said...

Tough luck purple-y.

Your BS has been fully exposed.

The idea that everyone noticing the media immediately and passionately downplayed Hillary's public collapse and Bernie's actual heart attack and RBG's pancreatic cancer "non-emergency" emergency surgery is exactly equivalent to the lefties going into "airliner falls into a black hole" mode with Trump's visit to Walter Reed is moronic.

But then again, that sums you up nicely.

Drago said...

pp: "but I tend to see a lot of stuff that partisans (on all sides) tend to miss."

LOL

Gee, you are a regular "straight arrow", just like Vindman.

Just balls and strikes.....

Keep telling yourself that.

Francisco D said...

"Johnny Carson was a liberal Democrat...".
So pretty much a modern conservative.


Amazing how that happens.

JaimeRoberto said...

The joke about negotiating his weight made me chuckle.

Dr Weevil said...

Seventy-one comments and no one has suggested what seems to me the most likely explanation of the unscheduled physical:
Trump is perfectly healthy, but wanted political fence-sitters and waverers to see all the stupid jokes and vicious comments his sudden trip to the hospital would inspire. I suspect that every late-night unfunny joke implying a fantasy of painful and protracted death brings him another thousand confirmed voters, and every stupid sick-minded tweet another dozen. It all adds up.

Iman said...

"Recently watched a Bill Burr special.

That was funny.

Watch it and compare to the above."

I'd read that Burr's Netflix thing was soooo funny, so I watched it. He had some funny bits, but he wasn't funny enough to keep it on for more than 15 to 20 minutes.

Dave Chappelle's last one was far superior and was hilarious!

Michael said...

Idiots, all of them (the comics, not the commenters).

DarkHelmet said...

Well, no one of the jokes are funny, which is not surprising because none of those 'comedians' is funny. Their shows are embarrassingly bad.

Colbert gets extra points for not even really pretending to be funny, I guess.

People who watch these shows have too much time on their hands or severe insomnia or both.

tcrosse said...

Hillary Clinton figured her election was inevitable. She lost to a political neophyte who spent half as much money and got millions fewer votes. Comedy gold!

Roger Sweeny said...

When I was growing up in the fifties and sixties, TV seemed full of woman driver and mother-in-law jokes. Stupid insults that usually weren't funny. These are today's equivalent.

Jim at said...

I happened to catch a Carson rerun from 1992 last night. Elizabeth Taylor and Michael Douglas were the guests. Enjoyable and timeless.

I don't know how anybody can watch the shit that passes for late-night television these days.

Jim at said...

It is really surreal seeing the same folks who used to joke about Hilary having a stroke are now clutching their pearls 'cause someone says that exact same thing about Trump. It is even more surreal seeing the same folks who used to joke about Obama's wife being a man are now offended when someone jokes about Trumps wife 'cause we don't really know if she hates him or not. - PP

Really? Every, single, late-night comic was doing these jokes? I must've missed it.
Got links?

Iman said...

Two guys who could tell funny mother-in-law jokes: Henry Youngman and Rodney Dangerfield.

rcocean said...

Yep Bob Boyd. Its the latest hip trend in Comedy - Non-funny jokes.

Only the squares expect to laugh.

rcocean said...

Take my wife, please.

My wife asked me to take her somewhere she'd never been to. I said why not try the kitchen. Bada-bing.

Bilwick said...

Such diversity of opinion!

Charlie said...

Just imagine, they have to write jokes about him EVERY DAY!!

Gunner said...

Kitchen remodel joke is the only funny one.

Operaman said...

The unscheduled check-up is President Trump laying the groundwork for a possible resignation if he senses conviction in the Senate (extremely unlikely) or at the polls in 2020. If he resigns for medical reasons, he can declare victory and avoid further legal hassles and tarnishing of his brand.

Speculation? To be sure, but not a dumb move if you want to preserve an out that carries no stigma.

MadisonMan said...

Kitchen remodel joke is the only funny one.

Agreed. Because I've lived through one. It's also apolitical, mostly.

Maillard Reactionary said...

Somewhat agreed with Gunner, but it sounds forced, like a sitcom joke. (Cue laugh track.)

This is another demonstration--like we need one--that leftists are frequently very unpleasant people.

Which in turn is an example of the basis for the old expression "Misery loves company". They're determined to share it with the rest of us, good and hard.

Michael K said...

Pretty sure there were posts, not just comments, about her "stroke". Might have been before your time.

Hillary had a cavernous sinus thrombosis PP. That is damn serious and was commented on. Also, after she had to be thrown into her limo like a sack of potatoes there were comments about her health. Not rumors, just observations.

The Vault Dweller said...

Since Eric Swalwell may have farted on TV, but denies it, I hope all these hosts refer to Eric Swalwell as 'The suspected Leaker".

Maillard Reactionary said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Maillard Reactionary said...

That was no "leak", Vault Dweller. That was a stentorious, mephitic blast that caused maidens present to faint straight away, and brought tears to the eyes of strong men.

Nancy Reyes said...

The fact that late night comedians ridicule what could be a serious illness in a president shows the hatred of the elite and the lack of common sense on the part of the producers of these shows.

If Trump had dropped dead or actually had a health crisis, there are a lot of those on the right who would insist it was an attempt to murder him, and they would cite these jokes as proof.

Ingachuck'stoothlessARM said...

a sweeter Phase 1 :

Phase 1,
in which Doris gets her oats


2 Of Us

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cLQox8e9688

Fandor said...

"LATE NIGHT" died when it dawned on us there was the DEEP STATE writing the "jokes".
The joke has been on us, the American public, for 30 years or more.

Iman said...

Careful there, Slow Joe!

https://twitter.com/djhinkin/status/1196616126417063938/photo/1

pious agnostic said...

I can wholeheartedly recommend Lights Out with David Spade on Comedy Central. Funny, and not at all political. It's part of the deal.

fleg9bo said...

My wife asked me to take her somewhere she'd never been to. I said why not try the kitchen. Bada-bing.

My wife asked me if I thought she would look good in something long and flowing. I said "Yes" and threw her in the river. Bada-bang.

J. Farmer said...

Who was the idiot who came up with the idea that all late night shows should be weaker iterations of The Daily Show? How can I possibly know what to make of the news today without input from Jimmy Kimmel or Seth Myers?

Lance said...

Bay Area Guy said...
Not!

11/19/19, 10:25 AM

1988 called. She said, "Please come home, we miss you."

Lance said...

clint said...
Do people really not have two-phase annual physicals?

I have to go in one day to get blood drawn, then come back the next week for the full physical and to discuss the results of the blood tests.

11/19/19, 10:36 AM

Really good point. I hadn't thought about that, but it's true for me too. First appointment is for the tests, cardio, colonoscopy, blood tests, then you get the results and maybe some follow up tests.

Lance said...


These jokes are not that different than when the Bushes and Bill Clinton were president. I wonder if people in general have gotten more sensitive after 8 years of late night hosts taking it easy on Obama.