June 24, 2017

The NYT takes on the problem of groups of non-gay women going to gay bars.

"How ‘Gay’ Should a Gay Bar Be?"
“They use the space to become ‘wild girls,’” said Chris McKenzie, a 35-year-old computer programmer in West Hollywood. “It’s not at all in concert with what the gay men are there for.”...

“They think of us as ‘fun’ and ‘free,’” said Vin Testa, a 27-year-old educator in Washington, D.C. “It seems like they’re coming in to find their next accessory, like a new handbag.”...

“The women always say they come to these bars to be left alone,” said Larry Kase, a comedy writer in West Hollywood. “But it seems like they want as much attention from gay men as possible.”...

Chadwick Moore, a 33-year-old freelance writer in New York, [said gay bars] have become a choice setting for first Tinder dates by straight couples. “I believe the women are thinking, ‘I’m going to take the guy somewhere where I’m the only one to look at,’” he said. “Also, ‘I can check out whether he’s “down with the cause.”’”

56 comments:

Ralph L said...

Someone's got to say it: Fag Hags.

Mary Beth said...

Lots of speculation as to why straight women go to gay bars. Instead of everyone trying to guess their motives, why didn't they interview some of those women?

It felt like the article was just an excuse to promote the reality TV show.

Gahrie said...

I can't wait for the article The Times writes about gay people going to non-gay bars, and how disruptive they are.

Ralph L said...

But it seems like they want as much attention from gay(=strikethrough) men as possible.”...
A relationship without the stress of sexual friction, sort of like college "bisexuals" and lipstick lesbians.

How does one code a strikethrough on blogger?

Bay Area Guy said...

First world problems: Fag hags coming to our bars and drinking wildly?! It's like goddamn Venezuela!

FullMoon said...

Mary Beth said...

Lots of speculation as to why straight women go to gay bars. Instead of everyone trying to guess their motives, why didn't they interview some of those women?

It felt like the article was just an excuse to promote the reality TV show.



"A blueprint for this approach was set by the Abbey, which opened in an area packed with gay bars in 1991. Mr. Cooley, the owner, who is also an executive producer of “What Happens at the Abbey,” a new E! channel reality series set there"

walter said...

Ralph L said...Someone's got to say it: Fag Hags.
--
Or..as the guy in article fears, Fag Bags.

Ralph L said...

“Obviously, queer individuals want to preserve a space where they don’t feel gawked at,” he said. “On the other hand, when gay men revert to sexist insults, like calling women ‘bitches,’ it contradicts the intention of safe queer spaces.”
Monumental crap.

Rae said...

Back in college we had LUGs - Lesbian Until Graduation.

But this all strikes me as very genderist. We aren't supposed to have any distinguishing characteristics. Become a part of the great, grey mean.

David Begley said...

Let's bring back Jim Crow.

clint said...

Always fun to flip the genders.

Imagine packs of straight guys going to the local lesbian bar.

Or taking a first date to one.

Kevin said...

I (straight male) used to go with women to gay bars all the time. The reasons were: 1. the dance music was better, 2. there was no distractions to just dancing, 3. no drunk assholes who drink to start fights. The women did list the reason of not being hit on by everyone as one of their main reasons, but for me, #3 was really big. All the straight dance clubs in the city I was in (Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill) were unsafe, with fights very very common and shootings and stabbings far too common. The gay clubs were absolutely safe. Never fights, never gangs, never shootings, unequivocally, perfectly safe. I guess gay men might find that ironic.

tcrosse said...

Straight or gay, their money is all the same color.

Lucien said...

Kevin, I call bullshit on you being a straight male (joke). "I could actually dance at the gay club!" You fuckin' homo.

More seriously, I assume you're black because straight white men don't dance. And if you say Baryshnikov I will raise you Nureyev, who was queer as a three dollar bill.

Steven said...

You know, we could solve the problems of gay bars being required to accommodate women and theaters being required to accommodate men who want to go to women-only screenings of Wonder Woman in one fell swoop.

Fernandinande said...

People should be judged by the color of their sexuality and the shape of their skin.

urbane legend said...

Kevin said...
Lucien said...

Are you gonna take that, Kevin? Hit him with your date's purse.

walter said...

I believe Titus has previously mentioned the gradual fade away of Gay bars. Maybe they should embrace any warm bodies willing to go there.

Ralph L said...

the city I was in (Raleigh-Durham-Chapel Hill)
Those used to be 3 distinct towns until the yankees took over. Soon they will go the way of Mecklenburg county (now the blue monstrosity of Charlotte) and the 3 towns that are now Eden NC (still redneck). The irony is that many of the people and their jobs fled the high taxation and regulation they now vote for.

But at least the cities can now legally drink and dance (NC protestants [98% in 1900] didn't used to, gay or straight).

David said...

Seems like the solidarity is breaking down everywhere. That tends to happen if you care for the cause but not for the people.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Mary Beth said...
Lots of speculation as to why straight women go to gay bars.

Much has been made of the supposed "Madonna/Whore complex" Feminist claim plagues modern American men. Very little is ever said about the "Gay BFF/Action Hero" complex American women regularly exhibit.

n.n said...

A drop of transgender on a rainbow spectrum.

Fernandinande said...

Martin Luther King walks into a gay bar, and the bartender says, "What'll ya have, pal?"

Dr. King replies, "I'll have a glass of my favorite, as usual."

The bartender says, "I'm new here, what's your favorite drink?"

Dr. King replies "Equali-tea!"

The bartender says "I'm sorry, but we dropped that the other day."

Dr. King replies "OK, I'll have a coke."

robother said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ALP said...

I grew up in a heavily Italian-American area of NY - way the hell upstate (think Buffalo/Rochester). Gay bars meant a blissful absence of the Guido* Come on: a phenomena that begins with a sudden cloud of aftershave in the air, followed by "how yoooo doin'?". To flirt with gay men, with both parties knowing that its all in good fun, is an ego boost for all involved. So there is an attention factor, but not in the sense we hope it goes anywhere. And the music was way, way, WAY better. I tried straight bars back in my party days and was always disappointed. The light shows sucked as well.

*Oh don't you judge me - I'm Italian American as well and will not refrain from making fun of my own culture.

The Vault Dweller said...

I'm sure this an unpopular opinion, but I don't think places of business, at least those that are designed as social gathering businesses, should be prohibited from discriminating against potential clientele. Sometimes men just want to hang out with men, sometimes women just want to hang out with women, and sometimes gay guys just want to hang out with other gay guys. I wouldn't even mind race or religion bars or clubs. I'm not saying this should apply to every business. I don't want to see a Christian only electric power company.

Mary Beth said...

"A blueprint for this approach was set by the Abbey, which opened in an area packed with gay bars in 1991. Mr. Cooley, the owner, who is also an executive producer of “What Happens at the Abbey,” a new E! channel reality series set there"

6/24/17, 2:38 PM


That's why I thought the article was an ad for a reality TV show.

Lucien said...

It's hard enough trying to run a bar without going out of business. Owners should feel under no obligation to take one for the team by turning away paying customers based on perceived sexual orientation -- especially if they tip well and order a lot of drinks. On the other hand, regulars (who tip well BIRM) should be given a fair hearing if they have complaints about breeder parvenus who stink the joint up.

walter said...

The ladies will be disappointed if the Mirth and Girth bears show up..

David said...

"I don't think I have ever heard an instance where straight men were described as celebrating their sexuality."

Even though they do so quite frequently? If you look for straight men doing this, you will have no trouble finding it.

FullMoon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Vault Dweller said...

FullMoon said..

"Seems to be a stereotype that all gays are fit, attractive, smart, stylish "

Bears of the world unite!

walter said...

If the bars are excluding the "fatties", could explain the $$ woes.
But if they can pimping out their fit male crowd to gals a la forbidden fruit, maybe they can extract enough $$ to counteract.

stever said...

This is pretty easy to figure out.

Birkel said...

For some definitions of the word problem.

Leora said...

Gee, I used to take guys I wanted to discourage to gay bars in the 70's.

southcentralpa said...

All I can imagine is some new-to-town young woman taking some guy to The Anvil and then realizing "Holy crap, I'M not this 'down with the cause'."

BADuBois said...

The NYT... always on the cutting edge of... something. I dunno.

Earnest Prole said...

What do straight women really want? Apparently a hot load of gay male sex, according to BuzzFeed, and they have the statistics to back it up.

Sam L. said...

First world problem, fer sherrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

Swede said...

Goddammit straight, white, women!

You fucked up the election and gay bars!

Time for some sitcoms to show what completely incompetent boobs you really are.

LordSomber said...

I've been dragged (no pun intended) to quite a few gay clubs back in the day, and they had the hottest chicks.

I didn't complain.

Birkel said...

Are there fewer comments now?

Ralph L said...

John McEnroe: Andy Warhol ruined my sex life
Just one look, that's all it took.
Mcenroe couldn't get into Studio 54, speaking of nearly gay clubs. His memoir might be worth reading if it's as forthright as the article suggests.

GRW3 said...

On. A personal basis, I'd be OK with gay bars blocking out hag tours. However, what's to say they don't get the same level of pleasure as a gay couple from a Christian baker.

Ralph L said...

I would think a few prominent blow ups of blow jobs and buggery would do the job.
That and let the guys hook up in the Ladies. HB2 2U!

George Grady said...

Is the NYT going to take on the problem of gay people going to non-gay bakeries and photographers?

Bad Lieutenant said...

"The NYT takes on the problem of groups of non-gay women going to gay bars."

Lovely Emerita,

There's a difference for you, between men and women. When a man talks about taking on a problem, that means he intends to solve it. When a woman says that, evidently she means talking about it.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Could this be the game: wirite about how straight women like to go out in groups to gay clubs, straight men read this and see that there are not many women at their favorite hangout, they go to gay clubs hoping to meet women, they get drunk and meet gay men instead. Well played, gay men, well played.

Matthew Blaine said...

Feminism means women use dating apps to amass conquests of strangers in their sexual history that would make the most decadent homosexual proud.

Josephbleau said...

The FireSign Theatre warned me years ago about the days when I could no longer tell the AC's from the DC's. "Edmud? but there's but one butt by that description!"

n.n said...

Feminism means women use dating apps to amass conquests of strangers...

and Planned Parenthood certificates of achievement. As well as posing as a womb bank or sperm depositor to normalize transgender/homosexual behaviors.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Women. They're the worst!
Golly it'd be nice if groups could associate with the people they want and exclude the people they don't want...sure seems like everybody would be happier. Like, just spitballing here, but maybe some gay bars could be for men only, and some could be for everyone, and then people could sort themselves and choose the place that's best for them at the time. Seems like that's a reasonable solution that could work in a free country...
Crazy talk, I know.

bgates said...

I don't want to see a Christian only electric power company.

Pity. John 1:5 would make a great ad slogan.

Lucien said...

I'd have figured Genesis 1:3.

JAORE said...

Shouldn't there be quotas (sorry GOALS) about straight/gay participation ratios?

You know:
Make Gay Bars Look More Like America!