June 23, 2017

"Divorce and adultery were considered shameful, and the era was one of making do—the prevailing maxim was 'Cou he,' or 'Improvise together.'"

"People learned to be content with patched clothes, bland meals of leftovers, and serviceable if unromantic unions. But now, she said, economic progress had diversified people’s choices: 'Money buys options. Men with cash want upgrades in everything, wives included.' Turning her face away from me, the woman said quietly, almost to herself, 'Something I figured out recently is that, in my bones, I don’t respect him—not his character or treatment of others. I think that, deep down, he knows this.' I asked her why, in that case, she didn’t consider divorce, and she paused, brushing a finger across the rim of her sunglasses. 'You know, for a while, I also asked myself the same question,' she said. 'I realized it’s because I’ve sacrificed too much for this marriage. It’s like a house I’ve given my life to construct, but that effort is hardly felt by people on the outside. Then, one day, he decides he wants to kick me out because he feels like it—how can I let him?'"

From "China’s Mistress-Dispellers/How the economic boom and deep gender inequality have created a new industry," by Jiayang Fan in The New Yorker. In China, a mistress is called a "Little Third," and one can have a career as a "Mistress Dispeller."

And here's a quote from one mistress dispeller: "Marriage is like the process of learning to swim... It doesn’t matter how big or fancy your pool is, just like it doesn’t always matter how good your husband is. If you don’t know how to swim, you will drown in any case, and someone else who knows how to swim will get to enjoy the pool."

83 comments:

rhhardin said...

I can't figure out what it's about. The article is even less clear, as far as I got. I assume it's paid by the word.

Fen said...

We make men without chests and expect from them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honor and are surprised to find traitors in our midst - C.S. Lewis


"If it feels good, do it! As long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, what's the problem?" said the man who would soon become the last of his line.

Darrell said...

I'm lucky I married Karlie Kloss when I did.

Fen said...

"What it is about"

In China, adultery is so prevalent that there is a market for "mistress dispellers" - a kind of detective that sabotage affairs so the man will go back to his wife.

Otto said...

In 50 years China will be the most popular Christian nation in the world.

Darrell said...

Millions of men will never get a wife in China because all the girls have been aborted, and some men get more than one wife. Sad.

rcocean said...

Its interesting how things get interpreted in the USA regarding China and Chinese culture. For example, a magazine article years ago, stated that Chinese men were expected to have mistresses, the only big no-no was letting anyone know about it. IOW, the man was expected to be super discreet and the wives weren't supposed to be too curious.

Of course, maybe this is different, more of a fight against being divorced.

sean said...

Some of us still consider divorce and adultery shameful.

n.n said...

A step away from the modern life, including: noncommital polygamy (i.e. friendship with benefits), which, ironically, is where immature adults sleep in different houses. Progress is a notably circular affair with unqualified goals.

rcocean said...

"In 50 years China will be the most popular Christian nation in the world."

Given there's 1.2 Billion Chinese, and Christianity in the West is dying (or more accurately committing suicide) that probably correct.

D said...

Better not let Billy Bob into the country, or things will really get out of hand.

David Begley said...

What does that last quote mean?

Jupiter said...

"Some of us still consider divorce and adultery shameful."

There are many good reasons for avoiding divorce and adultery besides shame. But most of them begin from the ideas of the welfare of a family. If you see the welfare of your family as your primary goal, adultery is deeply hazardous, and divorce is simply abject failure.

eric said...

I suspect a lot of men cheat. And yes, it's shameful or everyone would admit to it.

I suspect porn doesn't help. How can a wife live up to that?

Then again, women are watching more porn, for some reason I can't fathom. Especially porn degrading to women.

Anyway, this probably is a western problem and not a Chinese problem. But what do I know.

One thing is for sure. With economic opportunity comes a better life for everyone, including women. If America ever takes the deep dive, economically speaking, women are screwed.

Otto said...

In 50 years Asians will dominate the evangelical church here in America.

Fen said...

Women don't understand the differences re men cheating. The best way to relate is to focus on sexual appetite. It's like favorite foods.

I love Lemon Ice Box pie. I will love it till my dying day and could (almost) have it every night. But... every so I often, I crave a slice of chocolate cake. Or strawberry shortcake. Or even vanilla ice cream. But I always come back to Lemon Ice Box Pie.

But that's just for physical affairs. If he is having an emotional affair - sharing his hopes and dreams - then you have a problem.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Fen said...

I love Lemon Ice Box pie. I will love it till my dying day and could (almost) have it every night. But... every so I often, I crave a slice of chocolate cake. Or strawberry shortcake. Or even vanilla ice cream. But I always come back to Lemon Ice Box Pie.

I'm not sure of the exact wording you used when you exchanged your wedding vows with a Lemon Ice Box pie, but I'm pretty sure the ones you exchanged with your wife included something along the lines of fidelity or forsaking all others.

Bay Area Guy said...

Marriage wasn't that complicated back then:

1. Life was short (life expectancy closer to 50 than 80 -- at least in US circa 1924).

2. You want sex? Get married.

2a. You want kids? Get married

3. You want to get married? Get a job and show the bride's father that you can support her.

4. You want love? Well, write some poetry, treat your wife nice, and grow into it.

5. You want nooky on the side? Well, if you've got money, it's not too hard to get a mistress. But beware wrecking your marital bonds.

Of course, this was all from the male perspective. Nobody really asked women whether this was a good informal set of societal rules for them. If they wanted kids, they needed to get married. If nobody wanted to marry them, well, they grew into "old maid' status and took care of their aging parents. Or they got jobs at the New York City Public Library as librarians.

Regardless of the unfairness of it, nobody has been able to duplicate the warm, loving, stable environment -- a committed marriage -- in order to raise kids. That's where the husband protects and provides, and the wife raises and nurtures.

Sounds old-fashioned, but the farther you depart from this ideal, the more human and societal pathologies you find.

I don't make these rules - like gravity, I just follow them.




Ignorance is Bliss said...

Fen said...

I love Lemon Ice Box pie. I will love it till my dying day and could (almost) have it every night. But... every so I often, I crave a slice of chocolate cake. Or strawberry shortcake. Or even vanilla ice cream.

The other ethnicities in your metaphor are obvious, but just for clarity, is the strawberry shortcake red-heads or native-american women?

mockturtle said...

I was faithful to my husband for the forty years we were married and the two years before we married. Was I ever tempted? Damn right, I was. Did I take my marriage vows seriously? Damn right, I did!

Anyone can fool around. It takes a man or woman of real character to resist temptation and remain faithful.

Friends of mine who were unfaithful were not happy in their adulterous affairs.

mockturtle said...

Bay Area Guy rightly observes:
Regardless of the unfairness of it, nobody has been able to duplicate the warm, loving, stable environment -- a committed marriage -- in order to raise kids. That's where the husband protects and provides, and the wife raises and nurtures.

Sounds old-fashioned, but the farther you depart from this ideal, the more human and societal pathologies you find.


So true!

richlb said...

The analogy that a successful marriage is like treading water seems about right.

Bad Lieutenant said...

is the strawberry shortcake red-heads


No, Iggy, that's ginger snaps.

Fen said...

Ignorance, both ;)

But honestly, I didn't mean to imply ethnicity, just delightful difference. But good catch, I see it now. Maybe it was subconscious.

Must say though, black women are the sexiest sultry creatures on earth. By an entire degree. Other women have given it their best but they aren't even in the same league. I don't know what's going on there but it's pure bliss.

Not that I would ever date a black woman, ya know. Because I must be a "racist"

Bob Loblaw said...

Men with cash want upgrades in everything, wives included.

Sure, sure, that's why it's always women filing for divorce.

In divorces, women suffer disproportionately. Yu’s view of a woman’s poor chance at remarriage is widely shared, but there are more concrete issues, arising from economic disparity within marriages.

That was a deliberate step the government took. In China there were so many middle aged women divorcing their husbands the government changed the law to reduce (well, pretty much eliminate) what used to be a fairly generous divorce settlement.

Fen said...

"What does last quote mean?"

A good marriage requires learned skills and it behooves you to train those skills, even if your spouse is substandard. One, it improves your quality of life. But also your spouse may evolve with you, or divorce/die and give you opportunity to find a better lifelong companion.

In my youth I was shy and didn't date much. I also had an unrealistic opinion of myself, holding out for tier 1 girls when I was tied 2. The result was retarded social skills. When I met my soul mate in college, I was inexperienced and had no game. She chose another.

I should have learned to swim. Even though my pools were small and dingy, I would have thrived when I met the blue sea.

Freeman Hunt said...

Anyone can fool around. It takes a man or woman of real character to resist temptation and remain faithful.

This. Mastery of self. Philandering evinces unattractive weakness.

That said, some of the advice the mistress dispeller gave clients in the article was good. I've known some women who were unhappy in their marriages, but when one observed how they treated their husbands it was no mystery as to why their marriages were unhappy. (I've also known people in unhappy marriages where this was not at all the case. So many ways there are for people to be unhappy!)

Earnest Prole said...

“In today’s world, a secondhand woman is like a secondhand car,” he said. “Once it’s been driven, it’s not worth a fraction of its original selling price.”

I guess she better up her game to her original purchaser.

Jupiter said...

"Anyone can fool around. It takes a man or woman of real character to resist temptation and remain faithful."

Oh, I don't know. What it takes is the ability to recognize that what we desire and what will give us satisfaction are often very different things. Or I suppose you could actually delude yourself into thinking that you would be happier cheating, but then remain faithful from a sense of duty. Boy, that would take some character!

Eleanor said...

About 40 years ago, Phil Donahue had a show about why men divorce their wives and marry younger women when they hit 50 or so. He had a whole panel of folks dissecting it. A woman stood up in the audience and said she knew why. A man who marries young has a wife who scrimps and saves with him and supports him through the years he's trying to become successful. At some point he's made it, and he wants to begin enjoying the benefits of his success, but she can't move past all of the scrimping and saving. So he marries a younger woman who's happy to help him spend his money. I took it in, and let my husband know when he was ready for his second wife, I was ready to be her. Today is our 44th anniversary, and I've been his second wife for about 15 years.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

I'm guessing that if China had more equitable divorce laws, you wouldn't see first wives paying to get their cheating husbands back.

eric said...

One thing I've never understood.

Most men I know will give lip service to how horrible cheating is. Yet at the same time, in private, they'll admit they'd enjoy cheating and will even give props to actors and such who cheat with hot ladies.

Most women I know are always disgusted with cheating. They hate it.

And yet, men are always cheating with other women.


I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

A good marriage requires learned skills and it behooves you to train those skills, even if your spouse is substandard. One, it improves your quality of life. But also your spouse may evolve with you, or divorce/die and give you opportunity to find a better lifelong companion.

My first husband declined to learn those skills. I spent the first 5 years praying, reading, and learning how to do everything in my own power to be a good wife; the next 5 years asking him to work with me to make our marriage work, and the last 5 years completely apathetic, having given up. I did divorce him a few years ago, and I hope he decided to go ahead and examine his own performance as a husband so that he can have a better quality relationship. He has been seriously dating a woman for year or so now, and judging from the tone and content of the text he accidentally sent me which he meant to send to her, he has learned a lot since he was married to me about showing affection and being playful. He never would have texted ME that way, heh. I'm glad he is somewhere that is working better for him.

I've also known people in unhappy marriages where this was not at all the case. So many ways there are for people to be unhappy!

Yes, I know some women who are awful wives yet cannot understand why their husbands are awful husbands, but I also know wives who are great wives and it gets them nowhere. And vice versa, of course. Which is why I get so annoyed sometimes with the judgeypants MARRIAGE IS FOR LIFE people. I think they have NO idea how soul crushing and life wasting it is to be locked into a prison of obligation to someone who is a terrible partner for you and who will never change.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

I took it in, and let my husband know when he was ready for his second wife, I was ready to be her. Today is our 44th anniversary, and I've been his second wife for about 15 years.

Congratulations, and very wise of you.

Earnest Prole said...

"No good marriage ever ended in divorce."

I wish I had said that, but I think it was Louis CK.

traditionalguy said...

There is a good reason God condemns adultery. Like he condemns conspirators to Murdering the innocent.It cannot be described as a human weakness that just happens to people. The damage done by it is far too cruel and drastic.

Of course, there may be the rare oops mistake, like a sudden unplanned killing, that we rate only only manslaughter. But adultery aforethought is an eternal evil worse than premeditated murder.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

But adultery aforethought is an eternal evil worse than premeditated murder.

Um, what?

Fen said...

"It takes someone of real character to resist temptation"

I once felt that way about obese people and damned them accordingly. But as I got older I realized we all have our own peculiar weakness for Screwtape to exploit. The least of mine is being girl crazy. The worst, a darkness inside me that has repelled the more perceptive people throughout my life. I've managed to rein it in, but it's still there waiting.

Someone made another good point about having the wisdom to discern the difference between desire and satisfaction. Unfortunately, I've always needed experience to teach me those lessons. LOL.

Ralph L said...

My late step-monster had un-diagnosed Munchausen's and Borderline Personality disorder, in other words, nuts. She went through most of my father's money and made him wait on her. I finally paid off the last $30,000 of her massive, secret credit card debt in 2015.
Her prescription pill abuse finally killed her in 2013.
Thankfully, my father doesn't remember her most of the time, but she can still rile me up.
My late mother and Dad's mother and aunts treated him like a prince, so my dad didn't know people like her existed.

David Begley said...

As good as the Althouse blog is, sometimes the comments are even better.

eric said...

Blogger I Have Misplaced My Pants said...
But adultery aforethought is an eternal evil worse than premeditated murder.

Um, what?

6/23/17, 5:04 PM


He really really really doesn't like adultery?

Earnest Prole said...

I've always needed experience to teach me those lessons. LOL.

Experience is a dear teacher, but fools will learn at no other. Don't blame me, blame Ben Franklin.

AlbertAnonymous said...

They should have pictures of the wives and pictures of the mistresses and then a readers poll...

Not sure what the fuss is all about. Isn't this an old story? Married guys leaving their wives for young Asian women?

mockturtle said...

Which is why I get so annoyed sometimes with the judgeypants MARRIAGE IS FOR LIFE people.

Pants, I think you're inclined to get annoyed at just about anyone who doesn't think like you do.

mockturtle said...

Most women I know are always disgusted with cheating. They hate it.

And yet, men are always cheating with other women.


Eric, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but most married women cheat, too. :-(

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Pants, I think you're inclined to get annoyed at just about anyone who doesn't think like you do.

I'm pretty crotchety, but not THAT crotchety. :)

Eric, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but most married women cheat, too. :-(

I don't think that's remotely true, actually.

Meade said...

Some wise advice from someone from my parents' generation: Someday you will likely experience desire for someone to whom you are not married. Practice restraint. Desire comes and goes and comes again. You may not always desire the person you chose to marry. But only by remaining faithful to your marriage can you experience the bliss of having both at once the person you desire and the person you have chosen.

Fen said...

Earnest, tis true I have no defense.

"pics of wives vs mistresses"

Why bother? We already know. Some Arab proverb about 1st wife being the true companion and the rest of the harem pleasurable ornaments.

mockturtle said...

Eric, I hate to be the bearer of bad news but most married women cheat, too. :-(

I don't think that's remotely true, actually.

Look it up.

AlbertAnonymous said...

Eleanor:

You made my day! That's a great frickin story. Good for you! I sooo love that you saw it and adjusted and made it work! And I bet you've been happy spending it with him....

Unknown said...

In 50 years China will be the most popular Christian nation in the world.

populous?

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Look it up.

Had a quick look at saw it's estimated to be 45%-55%, which I will admit was more than I thought it would be. I had in my head more like 25%. Maybe those numbers go up if you include "emotional affairs" or have gone up in recent years.

mockturtle said...

Had a quick look at saw it's estimated to be 45%-55%, which I will admit was more than I thought it would be. I had in my head more like 25%. Maybe those numbers go up if you include "emotional affairs" or have gone up in recent years.

Yes, it depends on which 'study' you're looking at. An ABC report said 'more than 50%', not that I trust the MSM with any real information. ;-)

I think since more women are working there is more exposure to temptation. Also, religious proscription has declined.

Earnest Prole said...

Earnest, tis true I have no defense.

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone ;)

Earnest Prole said...

Desire comes and goes and comes again.

That's what she said (rimshot).

MaxedOutMama said...

It's interesting how uniform human nature really is, isn't it?

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

I think since more women are working there is more exposure to temptation. Also, religious proscription has declined.

Plus social media/texting, plus less divorce stigma, plus less financial dependence on men, plus more equitable family courts*.

Not everyone agrees with this position, but I personally think that the good old days when 90% of people stayed married weren't necessarily the good old days. Yeah Grandma and Grandpa were married for 60 years and if they were good people and happy, that's awesome. If Grandma couldn't leave despite Grandpa's drunken rages because she would never see her kids again/her church would never talk to her again/she'd go straight to poverty--not really that awesome. If Grandpa was pressured to marry her because she was pregnant and he had to spend the rest of his life attached to someone he would not have chosen because of a youthful mistake--not really that awesome.

*Please don't yell at me about men's rights stuff. I know you guys get screwed in family court all the time. Trust me-I sign my husband's ex-wife's alimony checks. But family law in, say, 1960 wasn't justice either.

mockturtle said...

Plus social media/texting, plus less divorce stigma, plus less financial dependence on men, plus more equitable family courts*.

Yep. And the more it appears acceptable on TV, the more people will accept it as OK. Certainly, adultery isn't new or it wouldn't have appeared in the Ten Commandments [heh!]. But there seems to be less stigma, just as with teen pregnancy, with which I am personally familiar.

Jupiter said...

Our traditional moral structure was developed in harder times than the ones we live in, when it was very difficult for a single woman to raise children. The emphasis on the permanence of marriage was because of the welfare of children. Marriage wasn't supposed to make you "happy", it was supposed to make you productive. Consider the various meanings of "husband".

Perhaps we can afford to relax those strictures, now that we are all filthy rich. But remember, we have the emotions we have, and to a slightly lesser extent the customs, because of evolution. It isn't that other arrangements weren't tried. They did not prosper.

Ralph L said...

I remember some study found that c. half the marriages in mid-Victorian England were shotgun weddings. This was when without a 10 pound special license, you had to wait 3 Sundays to marry.

Jupiter said...

It could be, that the intense allegiance to family that is the moral norm in all societies, is the necessary precursor to the cooperative behavior that makes wealth possible. In that case, it could be -- could -- that family ties have outlived their usefulness, and we are now ready to move on into a world in which everyone may have all of their desires fulfilled. Or at least more of them. That seems to be the view underlying much of Progressive thought and policy. We will all be each others' family. "It Takes A Village". Says the cuckoo.

Jupiter said...

"c. half the marriages in mid-Victorian England were shotgun weddings".

I am assuming this would be based upon marriage and birth records. But the connotation of forced marriage does not necessarily follow. While bastardy had a strong stigma, being 6 or 7 months premature was not a problem. Not much point in getting married if one if you is infertile, now is there?

Inga said...

Wow, what a juicy thread.

Ralph L said...

Jupiter, the study just said the bride was pregnant. "Shotgun" was my contribution. Don't know how or if they counted miscarriages and stillbirths.
I wonder what the modern percentage of virgin brides (and grooms) is. Probably not very high in the West.

Earnest Prole said...

half the marriages in mid-Victorian England were shotgun weddings

Half the marriages in England a hundred years before that, and two hundred years before that, and three hundred years before that -- if you'll accept anecdotal evidence, I've seen the genealogy. It's likely been the norm rather than the exception in most cultures, and shotguns were (mostly) unnecessary.

n.n said...

So, this is why "=" excluded normalization of polygamy and other orientations. It's already a de facto standard in liberal societies. Abortion rites helps to reduce the burden of human rights for second, third, etc. friends with "benefits".

Ralph L said...

Half the marriages in England a hundred years before that, and two hundred years before that, and three hundred years before that
No, everyone was totally virtuous in those earlier mid-centuries. It was all because of the Prince Regent.

Bruce Hayden said...

Why the double standard on cheating? Paternity, in one word. In a world before easy and convenient DNA testing, one of the worst things that a woman could do to a man was to cuckold him - have another man sire children that she passes off as her husband's. The cheated on husband then spends his scarce resources on furthering the genes of another man. Not a good survival strategy. Women, esp in a marriage tend to know who the father of their kids are, and so most often don't expend their resources on furthering the genes of another woman, instead of their own.

Why do men like younger women? Because they tend to be more fertile ad healthy, and their youth makes them live long enough to raise their children much more likely. Plus the obvious - younger women are sexier and more beautiful. Males have evolved to be wired this way, and females have evolved to be sexier, etc when younger. Sounds weird? So is menopause - something that is rare outside humans. My theory is that these are all connected. I think that it may tie into the length of time that our young are dependent upon their parents,band esp their mothers. What good, from an evolutionary point of view, is having children that statistically wont be independent until after their mother is dead, thus greatly reducing their own chance of survival? Or, maybe to rephrase, possible on big evolutionary driving forces behind menopause was increasing the likelihood that she would live long enough to see her kids grow up to independence. And, my theory further suggests that maximizing sex appeal earlier in a woman's life, after puberty, may have the same drivers.

Bruce Hayden said...

The booming of (esp Evangelical Protestant) Christianity in China is interesting. Why now? There have been Christians in China for better than a millennium, but it never really was much more than a fringe cult in Confucian China. There are estimates that it could grow to hundreds of millions over the next decade or so. One theory is that Mao set up his communist theology in direct opposition to Confucianism, and did a decent job at discrediting China's traditional faith, creating a spiritual vacuum. Which provided an opening for other religions. The two choices really were Islam and Christianity. China is having serious problems with militant Islam right now (as is much of the rest of the non-Muslim world). The Chinese solution is a level of brutality that probably exceeds that of even the Russians. Islam is not going to conquer China through conversion as long as being Muslim is deadly to one's career in China. Islam has another problem for the ChiComs - it essentially preaches subordination to a Muslim state (idealistically, a Caliphate). Which puts it in direct opposition to the Chinese a Communist Party. Contrast this with Christianity, which teaches rendering under Caesar his due. It developed to coexist in parallel with a state government. Rome controlled this life, and the Christian God the next. Which makes it much less threatening to the Chinese govt, and it's right thinking citizens. Moreover, Islam is fundamentally fatalistic, which means that the Muslim world only competes well with the rest of the world through resort to violence. It is amazing uninnovative, at least when it comes to creating new technologies, products, etc. as a Trump would say: Losers. Chinese don't like being losers, both individually and collectively.

Why evangelicals, and not Roman Catholics, Orthodox etc? Partly, I think that it is because that is who is prostelizating the hardest. But maybe also because the older branches of Christianity had a love/hate relationship with wealth - with some clergy taking vows of poverty, while top clergy living opulent lives like kings. Some have pointed out that Calvinism, in particular, provides a religious justification for getting rich. And that would seem more attractive to the entrepreneur Chinese than feeling guilty and sinful from monetary success.

It should be interesting.

Bruce Hayden said...

"attitude re. women maximizing their sex appeal soon after puberty to maximize their survival chances is one reason your "kid" now identifies in her 20s as a "they"??"

Typically, failure to address arguments, but instead engaging in, essentially, ad hominem attacks, is usually indicia that you don't have a good counter argument. No doubt one can be made here, given that I am far from an expert here. Is your argument that men aren't more attracted sexually to younger women? That they shouldn't be? Or that there are more pausible reasons why that is the case?

Oh, and I don't think that that child of mine has any questions about their sexual identity, nor what pronouns to use.

But you do bring up an interesting problem - a number of our best and brightest women are delaying child rearing until they are beyond their best childbearing years through dedication to their education and careers. The men are doing the same, but their biological clocks are running more slowly, so the problem is not as noticeable there. Compounding that, those same best and brightest are also having fewer children than their less privileged brethren, even when they can. Still, this is getting a bit OT, and maybe we should save the evolutionary consequences of this for another night.

Fen said...

Interesting OT Bruce. I had a FB friend who is a semi-famous writer. But very liberal, she even self-identified as a SJW.

One day she confessed frustrated hat her emotion kept interferring with her reason. At first I was taken aback - I had never heard a woman confess this and didn't know how to respond.

But the more I thought about, the more I considered it was due to evolution. I'm somewhat hyper-sensitive as a male, but it's very easy for me ignore it, almost like flipping a switch. But for her, it was frustratingly difficult, even though she wanted to.

I wonder if it's because our brains developed differently? My paleo ancestor had to learn to suppress emotion. To ignore fear when the boar charged. To dispel anxiety while laying in ambush for a rival tribe's raiding party. But for the women, suppressing emotion had negative consequences. If she can ignore a starving baby's wail, she would be self-selecting out of the gene pool.


I think (?) there is a part of the brain that allows you to filter unwanted emotion, to push it back so it doesn't interfere with reasoned action. I'll wager that it's more developed in males than females.

Fen said...

That's another annoyance that all these post apocalyptic shows omit. Our memory of how women behaved before the pill is fading. We just assume they have always been reasonable and consistent. So how come the "patriarchy" waited so long to elevate them as equals?

Most the women I've known have been on the pill, not only as birth control, but also to reduce their symptoms during their periods, to flatten out the wild mood swings. In fact, many women I knew were on the pill solely for this reason - I think they were the minority that were cursed with more intense moods and pain than is normal.

Now, males distrust inconsistentcy. Doesn't matter how much of an Alpha you are or how good your leadership skills - if you have a public meltdown, the other males will never trust your judgement again. Because in their eyes, you could randomly lose it and have another bat shit crazy episode. "Go guard the rear, and hand over your weapon please. The boys are not comfortable with you being on point. Sorry but you understand, lives are at stake"

So what happens in a post-apocalyptic world where women can't get the pill and can no longer mask wild emotionally mood swings? From the male's perspective, it doesn't matter if she's a kickass zombie hunter, she goes batshit crazy 7 days a month and cannot be relied on. In fact, can we even trust her judgement enough to vote on critical decisions?

That's why I think women were regarded as inferior from the time humans began forming societies 5000 years ago - a significant number of them went off the rails so often that men just refused to trust them.

Unknown said...

TRUMPSKI NEWS: President Trump has been married THREE times, divorced TWO times. It is rumoured divorce was on the cards with Melania until Trump won the election. It is well known Trump was putting it about during all three marriages. When they surface, the pee pee tapes will be public confirmation.

Glen Filthie said...

No sympathy, for Ya ladies.

After seeing the empowered and liberated North American woman devolve into a clucky, bitchy slut... The Chinese are wise to women as expendable commodities.

Fen said...

Oh horror! I had NO idea Trump had 3 wives and played around. Please go dig up that Cunt Hillary so we can be subjects in her putrid fetid corrupt empire.

Fen said...

Did you know Hillary smells like a rotting corpse? Her detail routinely rotates out to vomit and refresh the vics rub applied just beneath their nostrils.

It's normally a white substance (like what Jodie Foster applied when portraying FBI agent), but for the campaign they had to contract with Johnson $ Johnson to make a flesh colored nasal rub.

In July of 2014, a camerman accidentally got within 6 inches of Hillary and literally passed out from the stench. The official line was heat exhaustion. But ER staff claim he told them "it's like something has crawled up inside her and died". The cameraman later drowned in his shower in a freak bathing accident.

Fen said...

CNN - In related news, Huma Aberdeen has just come out of surgery and is recovering splendidly due to an un-named specialist in oral trenchmouth.

Fen said...

NYTs - Democrats continue to press President Trump on Russian election hacking. But oddly, none have called for a return to paper ballots.

Fen said...

WaPo Corrections page H43.

An earlier story incorrectly claimed a camerman died in a freak bathing accident. But his death was ruled a suicide, gunshot to back of head. We apologize for the error.

Fen said...

MSNBC - Government sources close to the Italian Ambassador have divulged a scheme were the Italian government would hold American nationals prisoner. Once the American's family donated $5000 to the Clinton Foundation to secure an hour on Secretary Clinton's schedule, the Italian government would release the American, pending a $2500 reimbursement from the Clinton Foundation.

Fen said...

ABC - The Department of Homeland Security is asking the public be on the lookout for a dangerous terrorist lose in the United States. He is a Somali national, age 34, 5'6 weighing approximately 140 pounds. His race is undetermined.

Robert Lange said...

Interesting article. I thought China had a huge problem with its male-female ratio. Odd that in a country with such a huge number of available men, so many women would still go after one who's already taken.

mockturtle said...

Fen, some of what you write makes me cringe but this is so spot-on I need to quote it:

Now, males distrust inconsistency. Doesn't matter how much of an Alpha you are or how good your leadership skills - if you have a public meltdown, the other males will never trust your judgement again. Because in their eyes, you could randomly lose it and have another bat shit crazy episode. "Go guard the rear, and hand over your weapon please. The boys are not comfortable with you being on point. Sorry but you understand, lives are at stake"