May 30, 2017

"From the sex addict to the vicar, men open up about their manhood — every penis tells a story."

"Me and my penis: 100 men reveal all," in the Guardian, where if you scroll past the first screen you will be confronted with 100 small photographs of waist-to-knee male nakedness. It's tasteful in the sense that we're channeled into viewing these things in a clinical, critical way. These are photographs by from a book by Laura Dodsworth. (Here's her book, "Manhood.")
Does Dodsworth remember her subjects by their penis or by their face? “Face,” she says instantly. “The photographs took only about 10 seconds, then I spent 30 to 60 minutes interviewing them...."...

Did the project make her think differently about men? “Yes, there was a feeling of falling in love with men. It was really lovely.”...

What surprised her most? “A lot more men feel a sense of shame or anxiety about their size, or an aspect of their performance, than I would have thought. What really moved me is how much that shame and inadequacy had bled into different parts of their life.” She says many were teased as children about their penis and never recovered from it....

65 comments:

Kevin said...

The Penis Dialogues.

Kevin said...

What surprised her most? “A lot more men feel a sense of shame or anxiety about their size, or an aspect of their performance, than I would have thought.

Gee, and she called her book of penis pictures "Manhood". You'd think she'd spot the connection.

Ann Althouse said...

Note that the author/photographer had previously done a book about women and their breasts.

Laslo Spatula said...

Guess which picture is Anthony Weiner.

I am Laslo.

Virtually Unknown said...

Men just want to please women, we have been selected and bred for that the way Labradors have been bred to fetch.

Virtually Unknown said...

It's the source of the power of feminism.

Ann Althouse said...

"Men just want to please women, we have been selected and bred for that the way Labradors have been bred to fetch."

I only know one Labrador, and he has a way of getting something in his mouth and then running away with it and the more you command him to "bring it" the more he's into gloriously parading it elsewhere.

Laslo Spatula said...

"I only know one Labrador, and he has a way of getting something in his mouth and then running away with it and the more you command him to "bring it" the more he's into gloriously parading it elsewhere."

Chicks dig Bad Boys.

I am Laslo.

Glen Filthie said...

Women are more worried about a man's wallet - and their access to it - than his wiener. That is why they obsess about their breasts.

Virtually Unknown said...

Yeah, my dog does that now too. When he was younger, he loved to fetch, now he loves to run off with it too. Maybe it's because when young boys would come to visit, they would often make him fetch so much he would be exhausted through the next day.

Virtually Unknown said...

Once he even got "flaccid tail" from it. Google it, if you think I am just joking to continue the conceit.

Kevin said...

Note that the author/photographer had previously done a book about women and their breasts.

"Bare Reality: 100 Women, Their Breasts, Their Stories"

"Manhood: The Bare Reality"

Women get to be women, with breasts and stories. Men get to be penises.

traditionalguy said...

That must be the pick your style preference sheet for Trans-gender women going surgically male. Designer dicks for medical reasons. And we wonder why paying for free "health care" gets more and more expensive.

Virtually Unknown said...

Women who actually care about men should just shut up about this subject in mixed company, however sympathetic their views, because they will not get it right, as this lady demonstrates. They should just pretend the subject never crosses their minds. But she did manage to get a lot of nice pictures of men with big dicks into The Guardian for all to ooh and ah over!

Wilbur said...

As a possessor of an unusually large one (10+), I can tell you that roughly 1/3 of women love it, 1/3 are essentially uninterested in size, and 1/3 find it uncomfortably too big.

Except for exceptional circumstances, it's of no help getting a woman into the sack; how does one bring it up the matter without generating a universal "Ick" response?

I'm glad I possess this characteristic, but take no pride in it - I didn't create it or earn it.

Had I been gay, it would be a much more significant matter.

Caroline Walker said...

I am nostalgic for the religious view of man, an integrated whole, body and soul, personhood over the deconstructed objectification of mostly sex organs, which offers the illusion of sex positive equality and liberation but actually renders sex banal. #nihilism

AllenS said...

I feel cheated. My penis can't even talk.

Ralph L said...

Nothing but Johnsons--as far as the eye can see.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Well....if you must be completely introspective, penis gazing is much better than navel gazing. At least in MY opinion :-D


Is it time for Maria Muldaur again?

JAORE said...

The story of my penis is a repetitive plea, "Pick me! Pick MEEEEEEE!"

Fen said...

Men bring it on themselves. If you are constantly asking your partner if you are big enough, you're conditioning her to believe you must not be.

The problem with being too big is that women will enjoy it only for a little while. Weekend sex orgy? She's all in. But day after day after day? Too painful.

As others said upthread, women don't care as much about size as men think they do. The size of your bank account is the limiting factor.

Fen said...

"How does one bring it up-"

In college, my frat big sis went on a dare with a really obnoxious guy. He even smacked her on the ass when they got out of the car. And she didn't take that from anyone, very hot and very independent. She asked if that's how he was raised to treat women. He responded that it didn't matter because he had a really big dick that she wouldn't be able to resist taking a ride on.

Next day he was turned into the campus joke. When he walked into the cafeteria she shouted "How big is it?" to gales of laughter. I took it as a free lesson that when she told me she wanted a kind gentle respectful man, she meant it. Yes I was head over heals for her.

Guess what? A few years later I found out it was all a lie. A female room mate confirmed to me that she fucked him. Solely because he had a big cock and she wanted to try it.

That was the moment I stopped being Uncle Fen, the nice kind gentle guy that always got friendzoned. I cultivated my inner Bad Boy Jackass and had more women than I knew what to do with.

So thank you, Obnoxious Huge Dickman, thank you for teaching me that what women say they want and what they really want are two entirely different things. I think most men earn that eventually.

MaxedOutMama said...

Well, I did look. My lifetime sample size has been exceedingly small, so I did learn something.

However, my strong feeling is that Virtually Unknown is correct - women should not ever discuss men's dicks with men, and I really can't imagine why I'd ever be discussing penises with a woman.

Men who are worried about penis size with respect to women are just barking up the wrong tree.


Scott M said...

We need an "OH FFS" tag. Or maybe a WhatFreshHellIsThis :)

Virtually Unknown said...

The only thing a man has to do is ignore the culture in which he is immersed, ignore the fact that in books, if the hero's penis is mentioned, it's gonna be large, and if the villain, it's gonna be small. Just like Jezebel's little bit where they drew in penises of the mend in Disney cartoon movies. Ignore all of the penises in other movies, it would too transgressive for Hollywood to show the penis of an actor with a standard issue 5 1/2 inch unit. Ignore all of the jokes men make, that's easy. Ignore all of the jokes and comments that female acquaintances make, much harder, ignore lovers's stories about previous lovers, stuff like that.

If you can do that one simple thing, you are golden so man up!

tcrosse said...

I really can't imagine why I'd ever be discussing penises with a woman.

My 1970's feminist first wife and her friends spoke of little else. It was empowering, I guess.

FullMoon said...

Kinda sad that some men think most women are mainly attracted to big dicks or big bank accounts. Almost seems like an excuse for their failure.

n.n said...

The Guardian normalizes/promotes the objectification of women and men. They may be affiliated with humanitarian pornographers, female chauvinists who wear their genitalia on their head, and the abortion industry/Planned Parenthood corporation that profits from the debasement and recycling of human life.

sodal ye said...

Enthusiastically hetero male here, but admit to clicking through. Argh.

The take-away: The British are an exceedingly unattractive race.

Bill Peschel said...

There's a difference between being a "nice guy" and being a dweeb.

It shows up in decisions. If the woman asks, "Where do you want to eat tonight?" they want a decision, not "Whatever you want. I don't care."

They're especially aware of "I don't care." It says that you don't care about them.

It seems women are fine with men making the decisions, but reserve the right to object and suggest alternatives. Then you discuss it and move on.

The same principle works in bed, too.

Virtually Unknown said...

It boils down to the old joke. A women wants one man to fulfill her every need, a man wants every woman to fulfill his one need.

Etienne said...

Is it wrong to feel no shame about your size? I need to know if I'm abnormal. I mean I go to the Gym three times a week and everyone is naked in the dressing room, and no one gives a shit about their size.

I asked my wife once if she cares about size? She said she only cares about large size, as she doesn't like anything close to child-birth stretching.

OK, no threat from me. I have a racing penis, not a bus...

eddie willers said...

I read through this and was surprised circumcision was not discussed.

When and where I was born (1952/the South) circumcision was so the norm that when I saw my first uncut one, I thought something was wrong with the kid. Poor guy was my thought.

walter said...

Fen said...So thank you, Obnoxious Huge Dickman,
--
Ha! A dick move proves valuable.

"thank you for teaching me that what women say they want and what they really want are two entirely different things. I think most men earn that eventually."

I suspect you meant to type learn..but earn works too.

walter said...

Ok..read it...and saw it. Missing from the discussion is the "grower vs shower" element...
That manufactured Rufus is beastly...

Etienne said...

My mother was against circumcision. She thought the Jews were savages, and anyway, the Archbishop was against it, so that was that.

I'm personally against circumcision of both males and females. Mostly from the standpoint that it affects sexual enjoyment.

The head of the penis wasn't meant to be rubbing on underwear. It desensitizes it over the years.

You might have to masturbate forever to milk the bastard.

Robert Cook said...

Wilbur wins the "Humblebrag of the Week."

walter said...

Maybe instead of Wilbur, he should go by Mister Ed.

Virtually Unknown said...

Wilbur wins the "Humblebrag of the Week."

If I had a nickel for every 10 inch penis on the internet, I could be Bill Gates' neighbor. It's like all those guys who drive a golf ball 300 yards. The internet is swarming with them, but I never see any down at the course.

tcrosse said...

Short Arm inspection at Fort Dix.

Titus said...

My penis looks better than those. Also the backdrop is equally important. I have a very flat stomach, with a waxed pubes, which accentuates my hog. If you have a gut or fucked up legs or any fat or weird hair patterns your hog is doomed. Work on the frame of the penis men-the surroundings-stomach, ass, hair, etc. Now work it.

Also, there was a post on here about men shaving their pubes. This is practically a requirement at my gym and 65% of the men at my gym are straight and they all shave them, there are a few runway strips, and small staches around the cock, but most are fully shaved clean. And I am sorry but the balls have to be shaved. No one wants to suck hairy balls.

n.n said...

Etienne:

Male circumcision may have served as part of a health care protocol before the introduction of indoor plumbing. However, women would not have benefited from this procedure, so that tradition must have arose with other motives.

mockturtle said...

I've never heard of any woman complaining of someone having too large a penis. Circumference is probably more important than length. But as male attributes go, penis size is not high on the list of priorities.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Etienne said...
I need to know if I'm abnormal.


OMFG coupe are you abnormal.

Now about your schlong...

walter said...

"No one wants to suck hairy balls"
I sure don't....

Etienne said...

I forget the movie, a comedy if I recall...

"Who are you going to please with that!??"

"Me!"

urbane legend said...

Virtually Unknown said...
If I had a nickel for every 10 inch penis on the internet, I could be Bill Gates' neighbor. It's like all those guys who drive a golf ball 300 yards.

300 yards with their 10 inch . . . oh, wait, that's two different subjects.

eddie willers said...

When and where I was born (1952/the South)

What month? October 1952, Florida for me.

Virtually Unknown said...

I've never heard of any woman complaining of someone having too large a penis. Circumference is probably more important than length. But as male attributes go, penis size is not high on the list of priorities.

Yeah, it comes after wallet, for sure.

But anyway, let's read this comment the way a man would:

I've never heard of any woman complaining of someone having too large a penis

Size does matter fellas! Don't let anybody kid you, we like 'em big!

Circumference is probably more important than length.

The wrong guys are depressed and ashamed! It's not the guys with relatively short penises who should be upset, it's those fucking bastards with the skinny dicks that should go shoot themselves! What on earth Mock was trying to accomplish with that statement is utterly beyond me. I don't believe for a second it was to comfort men in any way. If I hear a woman talking this way at a party, and I have, I just assume she wants all the guys with regular, and God Forbid - smaller dicks to leave her alone and certainly not hit on her.

But as male attributes go, penis size is not high on the list of priorities

We will sacrifice sexual pleasure from a man for a guy who will stare down a thirty year mortgage, tuition bills, and see our children grown. The thing is that guys really really just want to please. women, and you are. saying that they simply will never be able to do it, and "that's ok!"

There are something like 30K people reading this blog, last I checked, thousands of them men with skinnier than average dicks, some of them quite scientifically certain of the fact and deeply depressed about it, seeing therapists, taking SRIs, depressed that they may never be able to actually please a woman, and the only way they are going to get a sex partner is to become a beast of burden.

Better to say nothing, as I said in my initial comment, because if you were think the world needs more serial killers, your comment was the way to go, if you were trying to make men feel better with that last bit, you might need to think a little harder.


mockturtle said...

Virtual unknown contends: Yeah, it comes after wallet, for sure.

That is very cynical as well as untrue. You must date the wrong women.

mockturtle said...

Here's a news flash, for you, Virtual: Women's lives do not revolve around sex. Sex is an enjoyable part of life, like eating good food, but it is not the basis of a sound relationship.

mockturtle said...

Any man can please any woman. Anxiety about genital proportions is counterproductive and unnecessary.

Virtually Unknown said...

Whatever. I was just telling you how a man hears your comments. They seem designed to produce anxiety, despite your protests, but as has been noted upthread, it's a man's responsibility to understand women and a woman's privilege to be oblivious.

It's a free internet, you can say whatever you like.

mockturtle said...

If you interpret my comments as anxiety-provoking, it could only be due to your own insecurity.

cubanbob said...

Question for the ladies: all else being the same what would you prefer the man to have, a big member or a black AMEX card?

mockturtle said...

All else are NOT the same, cubanbob. Personality? Confidence? Wit? Can-do attitude? There are a lot more important attributes than either of the two you mention. Sexy eyes are a plus, though...

Virtually Unknown said...

f you interpret my comments as anxiety-provoking, it could only be due to your own insecurity.

Oh, you are right, of course. You win. You know better about how men think than I do! You could just do what they would do on reddit, and say "small dick alert!" Same effect. I should go hang my head in shame now.

Circumference is probably more important than length. So CsubP > LsubP in evaluating the parameters of a man's manhood. Got it.

Sex is an enjoyable part of life, like eating good food, but it is not the basis of a sound relationship.

Sex is nice, but don't worry if you have a skinny dick, sex isn't everything!

It's easy to have confidence when women ooh and ah when you drop your shorts, and when you can laugh at the small dick jokes because you know you are not the target of them. When a woman says she likes confidence, she means she likes sexually attractive men. I seriously doubt you would recognize genuine wit.

My only point is my original one, if you really believe what you say you believe, you should just shut up about it, because you will never get it right. You should read the original article again, if you were of a mind to learn anything, which you are not, because clearly you already know everything about men.

Virtually Unknown said...

So much for commenting on this blog. I enjoyed it while it lasted.

Jon Ericson said...

Come Back!
This blog's post was about click bait. Come back again soon.
The regulars will check you out!

Virtually Unknown said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bad Lieutenant said...

VU, not sure what's wrong, but the Kama Sutra covers all this. If you have a smaller than average penis, you just need a girl with a smaller than average vagina. (I recommend ethnic Chinese - I couldn't get it in; but I'm sure they come in all shapes and sizes and ethnicities.) There are also sexual techniques to magnify the effect of your member on the female. You re also a better prospect to be permitted to do anal, and the girl can probably perform oral better on you.

As for whatever other stereotypes exist about small penised men, I wouldn't know and don't care. That's for you to reflect upon and justify or refute by your own example. (Are you a good tipper? 15-20%?)

Just remember:

"Who're you going to satisfy with that thing?"

"ME!"

(And you can generate just as many kids as some John Holmes mofo can.)

Bad Lieutenant said...

Also if you are adept with hands and tongue and maybe some toys, she may not even notice your member. Other guys have problems with stamina, getting erections, weight, medical conditions like phimosis or Peyronie's disease.


Anyway all this encouragement and support is taken back if you are a liberal fuck. Assuming not, don't worry about it. You probably exaggerate the problem anyway. Hemingway wrote about this in A Movable Feast when F. Scott Fitzgerald shared like concerns.

VU, you're OK.

Virtually Unknown said...

I was just yanking her chain.

Virtually Unknown said...

But thanks

Virtually Unknown said...

I meant it that women should just shut up about the issue if they want to be well thought of and not scare off potential guys though.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Oh good. It's true that if you said chicks with small tits were no good, you'd get your eyes torn out.

Nice one!