May 24, 2017

"Demanding that women smile is akin to suggesting that women are not entitled to be in charge of their own emotional life."

"But for women who live the greater part of their lives in the public eye, smiling is a kind of code for being not only engaged, but also being engaging. For a woman who was once a model, who ostensibly is practiced in the art of nonverbal communication, the willingness to forgo a grin seems less like an accident and more like the tiniest declaration of personal control and rebellion. She is here for you, but she is not going to perform for you."

Writes Robin Givhan, about Melania Trump, under a headline that struck me as comical juxtaposed with the photograph:



I'm not sure where the "control and containment" is supposed to be — maybe in the constricting leather skirt or maybe it's something she's extracting from the President who scampers at her heel — but from the waist up, I'm seeing a more freewheeling style, an eschewing of a fully controlled structure. I'm not criticizing this choice, I'm just saying this isn't the Jackie Kennedy choice of clothing as armor, but a stretchy sweater over something less than the most rigid undergarments. I see an amusing combo of loose and tight.

The headline is probably not written by Givhan. I'm just poking fun at WaPo there. I mainly wanted to show you that part about women smiling, which is a long-term feminist issue. It's sexist to tell women to smile,* so what do you do when you want to comment on Melania's unsmiling face? Givhan reads it as "the tiniest declaration of personal control and rebellion," which sounds as though she — in her own little way — is part of the female resistance against Trump.
____________________

* See "The Sexism of Telling Women to Smile: Your Stories," "Why you shouldn't tell a woman to smile," "Telling a woman to smile may seem like an innocent request, but there's a darker undertone," "It’s Important For Men to Understand That They Need To Stop Telling Women to Smile," "The Sexism Behind Telling Women to Smile," "Why We Should Stop Telling Women to Smile," "'Stop Telling Women To Smile' Goes National," "'Stop telling women to smile.'"

89 comments:

MikeR said...

My gosh. Someone snapped a picture of her and she isn't smiling. Isn't she happy with her life?
If someone had told me that the end of the world would come with every human being obsessing about Donald Trump I would not have believed them.

Sebastian said...

There's only so much she can do to control and contain. Though she does a good job of it.

For people in the public eye, the issue is not whether they do or don't or should or shouldn't smile. Since thousands of images are taken of these people, with an infinite variety of expressions, the issue is always the agenda of the people selecting the pictures to be publicized. And we all know what that agenda is.

Martha said...

Melania's resting bitch face is a lot more attractive than Michelle's resting bitch face.
Jackie O. did not ever slip her perfect mask.

YoungHegelian said...

Okay, so what clown out there doesn't think that men who want to show their best public face aren't told to smile, too?

I've been through all sorts of presentations on "Making Business Presentations" & they tell you to smile even in phone discussions because the other person can tell by habit from the sound of your voice if you're smiling or not while you're speaking.

Never once, & I've been in business since 1991, have I ever heard a presentation along the lines of "Okay, girls, show off those pearly whites. Guys, you're exempt, & can be your grumpy-ass true serves".

Never, ever. Not even close.

JaimeRoberto said...

Now you're just mansplaining, YoungHegelian.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

women are not entitled to be in charge of their own emotional life

This seems so obvious that I hesitate to even ask, but shouldn't it be 'their own emotional lives?'

Otto said...

That is one hot FLOTUS.

YoungHegelian said...

@JR,

Now you're just mansplaining, YoungHegelian.

Don't I fuckin' always, JR? It's in the by-laws of the men's organization I belong to, the LOPD (Loyal Order of Pompous Dicks).

BN said...

This wouldn't be the first time a woman let her breasts do the smiling for her.

Neither would it be the first time a man meant just that when he asked for her to smile.

traditionalguy said...

Maybe Melania is from the old school. A hundred years ago smiling in a photo was considered evidence of a person having a mental defect that took nothing serious.

But I suspect Melanie is the real professional at being photographed, and she corrects the Donald for being such an amateur at it. You will never see Melania in a silly grin over her Taco Salad Bowl.

Melania's style says she does not need anything, and that she knows you need her female mysteriousness...tight on the bottom and loose on the top.

Bob Ellison said...

Yeah, what YoungHegelian said. Men should smile. It's a good look, unless your smile makes you look like a clown assassin. If you look like Chris Hemsworth, you can write your ticket to the bedroom.

But both men and women judge women by their looks. A man goes, oh, great, she's pretty, or maybe, she's not so pretty, but she's doing OK, putting a good foot forward. Women tend to be soooooooo judgemental about other women's visual presentation. Why do they do that?

I think I don't want to know the answer.

tcrosse said...

Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge, (Kate to you) is seldom pictured without a big smile. It's part of the job. Her Majesty the Queen can produce a dazzling smile when appropriate, and that goes with the job, too.

YoungHegelian said...

Remember, that Melania comes from Slovakia, & is old enough to have some memories of the old Iron Curtain society of Communist Czechoslovakia. Her parents sure as hell do.

Eastern Europeans** by & large aren't big into smiling. Not at all. They think Americans & their smiles are grinning baboons. They think someone who's smiling at you has something up on you, & it's about to get sprung.

Eastern (& Northern) Europeans aren't big on talking to strangers, either. Americans are more affable with strangers, especially outside of New England. Hell, in the South where I was raised, if you couldn't start & maintain a conversation with a total stranger you were considered a social cripple.

**Yes, yes, the Czechs & Slovaks are Central Europeans, not Eastern. But, during the Soviet domination years, the nastier social mores of the Russians got imposed from above.

Inga said...

I'm glad Melania isn't just giving away her smiles for free. Maybe she didn't want this life of being First Lady and she has enough independence to protest in the little ways she can.

Fen said...

And note the bigotry of low expectations. Women need to be protected from this presumption (from males I assume) that they need smile. They can't handle it themselves

I once explained to a feminist that the whole patriarchy narrative was undermining her movement. Because if men really have been able to oppress women for 5000+ years straight, then we certainly aren't equals.

The remark reduced her to a shrieking child, which just underscored my point.

Inga said...

Melania is from Slovenia, that's in the old Yugoslavia.

Inga said...

Melanija Knavs was born in Novo Mesto in the southeast of Slovenia, which was then part of Yugoslavia,[5][6] on April 26, 1970.[7] She is a daughter of Amalija (née Ulčnik) and Viktor Knavs, who managed car and motorcycle dealerships for a state-owned vehicle manufacturer.[8][9] Her father was from the nearby town of Radeče.[8] Her mother came from the village of Raka,[10] and was a patternmaker at the children's clothing manufacturer "Jutranjka" in Sevnica.[8][11] When later working as a model, she changed the Slovene form of her last name Knavs to the German Knauss.[12]

She grew up in a modest apartment in a housing block in Sevnica, in Slovenia's Lower Sava Valley.[1] She has a sister[13] and an elder half-brother, whom she reportedly has never met,[14] from her father's previous relationship.[8][15]

Wiki

JaimeRoberto said...

Europeans, or at least Eastern Europeans, don't smile for pictures unless they are making fun of Americans.

Inga said...

"Eastern Europe includes the countries of Russia, the Czech Republic, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Moldova, Croatia, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Slovenia, Slovakia, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Belarus, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Albania, Kosovo and Macedonia."

YoungHegelian said...

@Inga,

Ooops, my mistake. Thanks for the correction!

But my point still stands even more: Yugoslavians weren't known for their chippy, happy-go-lucky ways, either.

A good study on Russian social nastiness is Dostoevsky's The Idiot. It isn't a new phenomenon.

Earnest Prole said...

I think "control and containment" is just the new way to say "lifts and separates."

Bruce Hayden said...

I would say this to the feminists, that the reason that women smile more than men is an evolutionary adaption. For the most part, smiling in humans indicates non-aggression. Women do it more than men because men tend to be bigger and more violence prone. Males see females smiling, and their aggression gets turned off. Which one s a survival mechanism. I think that women also smile more among each other than males do among themselves, but, again n, it is to, essentially signal non-aggression. Some women aren't that comfortable with "girl world", and don't try that hard to fit in. And the ones like that in my life, also don't utilize the public smiles that you see in so many women. I see Melania fitting in that category. No evidence - just gut feeling.

YoungHegelian said...

@Inga,

If you wish to keep your head on your shoulders I recommend you do not suggest to a Czech, an Hungarian, or a Pole, that he is in any way like unto a Bulgarian, Russian, or Belorussian.

Whatever a geography book wants to say is one thing. They, however, see themselves as very definitely facing West, not East.

A good rule-of-thumb: Roman Catholic or Protestant --- Central. Orthodox Catholic --- Eastern.

JaimeRoberto said...

@Inga, if you want to anger a Czech or Slovak (and probably some others on that list), call them Eastern European. Czechs will point out to you that Prague is further west than Vienna. I still call them Eastern European because in my mind anything east of the Iron Curtain is Eastern Europe, but those countries that were part of the Hapsburg Empire are more likely to think of themselves as Central Europeans. And who are we to deny them their chosen identities?

Unknown said...

Since when do strutting runway models smile?

tcrosse said...

"Eastern Europe includes the countries of Russia, the Czech Republic, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Moldova, Croatia, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Slovenia, Slovakia, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Belarus, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Albania, Kosovo and Macedonia."

With the collapse of the Iron Curtain, some of the former East Bloc countries prefer to think of themselves as being in Central Europe, as they were before WWII. Slovenia is right next to Italy, for heavens sake.

fivewheels said...

"Now you're just mansplaining, YoungHegelian."

"Don't I fuckin' always?"


Accused of this once, I could only say: "All my 'splainin' is mansplainin', baby."

Inga said...

Melania's family are most likely ethnic Germans who probably stayed in Slovenia after WW2 when most ethnic Germans were driven out of Eastern Europe.

Also, my family lived in Eastern Europe, Hungary and then Yugoslavia, from 1720 until 1945, I guess I won't knock my own head off.

Eastern Europe includes the countries of Russia, the Czech Republic, Poland, Hungary, Romania, Moldova, Croatia, Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Slovenia, Slovakia, Bulgaria, Ukraine, Belarus, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Albania, Kosovo and Macedonia. These countries are commonly grouped into the subregions of Eastern Europe, East Central Europe, the Baltics and the Balkans.

The Eastern Europe subregion includes Russia, Ukraine, Belarus, Romania and Moldova. Russia is the largest of all of the Eastern European countries, while Moldova is one of the smallest. It is so small that it is often thought to be part of Romania.
The East Central Europe subregion consists of the Czech Republic, Hungary, Poland, Croatia, Slovenia and Slovakia. The Czech Republic and Slovakia, now two separate independent countries, were both part of Czechoslovakia from just after World War II until 1993. Both Slovenia and Croatia gained independence from the former Yugoslavia in 1991.

The Baltics subregion comprises Lithuania, Latvia and Estonia, three northeastern European countries situated along the coast of the Baltic Sea. All three were part of the Soviet Union until Lithuania declared its formal independence in 1990, and Latvia and Estonia followed in 1991.

The Balkans subregion includes the countries of Bulgaria, Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Albania, Kosovo and Macedonia. Serbia, Montenegro, Bosnia and Herzegovina, Kosovo and Macedonia were also part of the former Yugoslavia.

https://www.reference.com/geography/countries-make-up-eastern-europe-f220b8cc461d2e4d

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

@YH

If you want your head on your shoulders don't suggest to a Bulgarian, Russian or Belorussian that he is in any way like a Bulgarian, Russian, or Belorussian.:))

YoungHegelian said...

@Bill,

Neighborly love across the border is definitely in short supply in them thar parts.

Bill Peschel said...

Life's too short at my age to be reading stories stuffed with nothing but the reporter's biases.

All you have to do is skim down the side of the Daily Mail website to see the wave of articles based solely on a woman's expression and how it reflects on the gossip being retailed about her.

I'm not going to spend the next eight years reading these stories, except to publicly mock the reporter writing them for their ignorance. That'll pass the time nicely.

Bill Peschel said...

I should add that the discussion here on Eastern Europe is far more interesting and informative than the pablum served up by the Democracy Dies Post, so some good comes out of it.

readering said...

I'm in the Central Europe camp. It was part of the Austrian Empire and almost the entire country lies west of Vienna.

readering said...

Regarding Althouse's observation on that photo, I'll just add, as my little brother used to put it as a small boy, Mrs. Trump has big fronts.

Ann Althouse said...

"This seems so obvious that I hesitate to even ask, but shouldn't it be 'their own emotional lives?'"

No!

This is a point of grammar that I have insisted upon 100 times as Meade has proofread for me.

Each individual only has one life. You keep the singular in that situation. I was taught that in school by an English teacher who used the example of "head" in sentences like: "I want all you students to use your head." If you were to say — he impressed on me — "I want all you students to use your heads," it would create the image that a person could have more than one head. Where each X has only one Y, you should keep a singular Y even when you have X in the plural.

This is a rule I've followed so many times on this blog, following what I was taught in high school, and perhaps the most important point is to take a position and be consistent, but my approach, used here by Givhan, is certainly not wrong. The only question is whether the other approach is even right.

readering said...

Typo at 6:49?

readering said...

Fixed!

Meade said...

"I want all you students to use your head."

Shouldn't it be: I want each of you students to use your head?

Ann Althouse said...

"I think "control and containment" is just the new way to say "lifts and separates.""

LOL.

rhhardin said...

It's a tits picture.

Ann Althouse said...

"Shouldn't it be: I want each of you students to use your head?"

It's probably possible to rewrite every sentence where there's a plural X but each X has a single Y so that you don't have a plural X to set up the problem, but where for one reason or another you don't want to do that, the rule to be followed — what I was taught as the traditional rule — is to use a singular Y. If that sticks out as awkward, rewrite. But if it looks better without the rewrite, you should feel assured that you're doing just fine following the rule that Althouse learned in high school.

Meade said...

I want both of you to lift and separate yourselves.

or

I want each of you to lift and separate yourself.

Inga said...

Eastern Europe consists of the various sub groups. Here is the sub group of Eastern Europe that could be called Central Europe, I suppose.

"The East Central Europe subregion consists of the Czech Republic, Hungary, Poland, Croatia, Slovenia and Slovakia. The Czech Republic and Slovakia, now two separate independent countries, were both part of Czechoslovakia from just after World War II until 1993. Both Slovenia and Croatia gained independence from the former Yugoslavia in 1991."

Ann Althouse said...

That's one thing about breasts: They're plural.

Meade said...

"But if it looks better without the rewrite, you should feel assured that you're doing just fine following the rule that Althouse learned in high school."

Since you graduated 1st in your class and I graduated 2nd or 3rd in mine (my memory isn't what it used to be), I shall defer.

tcrosse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
JaimeRoberto said...

On the other hand Metternich said that Asia begins at Landstrasse.

Despite the lack of smiles on Eastern Europe the women at least don't mind if you check then out. In fact some get upset if you don't. Springtime in Budapest is a sight to behold.

n.n said...

Is it politically correct to say "cheese"?

Okay, girls, show off those pearly whites. Guys, you're exempt

That's a myth manufactured by the female chauvinist movement, one of many, that they use to club men and babies, too. It's a progressive thing. Like stone age political strategy.

Otto said...

"they are plural". They sure are.

William said...

They're still searching for the right angle of attack on Melania. She's incapable of taking a bad photo, and she dresses with style and brio. Still, she's got that haute look and doesn't smile much. Compare that to Chelsea's big grin or Hillary's infectious giggle, and you can see why the Clintons are the home team. Naw, that won't work. It's just too bad that Dems are so committed to immigrants. They can't criticize Melania for looking foreign and other worldly. That's one of the reasons they're so desperate to impeach Trump. Have you seen Mrs. Pence? She slightly overweight and doesn't look like she'd be comfortable in couture clothing. It would be very heaven to stick the long knives into Mrs. Pence's plump flesh, but till then they've got nothing to work with except Melania's insufficient hand holding.

Bill R said...

To quote John Derbyshire - he was talking about Putin's girlfriend - "She is so hot, she scorches paint."

William said...

Noted: Melania is kind of Inga's paisan. Thus her praise of Melania should not be read as an attempt at independent judgment but rather as sticking up for a paisan.

jaed said...

Okay, so what clown out there doesn't think that men who want to show their best public face aren't told to smile, too? [...] I've been through all sorts of presentations on "Making Business Presentations" & they tell you to smile even in phone discussions

It's not about giving people helpful tips when coaching them, for heaven's sake. It's about total strangers walking up to women on the street and demanding that they smile. Immediately. (I've had this happen myself.)

I don't see the need to make a whole bundle of feminist theory about it, but it is rude and presumptuous to walk up to a strange woman (or man, though I haven't heard of this happening to men) and order her to change her facial expression so that you'll have a more pleasurable experience in life.

damikesc said...

Sorry, Robin, apparently you're unaware that women aren't the only ones with expectations on them for proper behavior.

I don't see the need to make a whole bundle of feminist theory about it, but it is rude and presumptuous to walk up to a strange woman (or man, though I haven't heard of this happening to men) and order her to change her facial expression so that you'll have a more pleasurable experience in life.

Then don't get upset when people assume you're a bitch. Only have first impressions to work with. I can look dour when I'm thinking about and I'm asked to not frown regularly. Know what I do?

I try to stop frowning. It's not exactly difficult.

mockturtle said...

I suspect that photo was taken in Italy. Women dress that way over there.

Mary Beth said...

Where are these strangers who go up to people and tell them to smile? I don't believe I've ever had that happen to me and it's not because I'm smiling all the time (although I prefer to be so that everyone will wonder what I'm up to.)

I have heard people ask someone who is looking down if they're okay.

Are these the same people who go up to pregnant women and pat them on the belly? Three pregnancies and I never had that happen to me either.

I'm not sure if I just live in a place where people don't push themselves onto others or if there's something about me that keeps strangers strangers.

mockturtle said...

This seems so obvious that I hesitate to even ask, but shouldn't it be 'their own emotional lives?'

I believe you are right, Misplaced. It should be either 'woman-life' or 'women-lives'.

Henry said...

There are a number of conjectures that occur to me in regards to the first lady:

First, Melania is a very shy, private person.

Second, she follows protocol. From NPR:

Despite the criticism, the first lady's attire was in keeping with the protocol of the countries she visited and the precedents set by foreign leaders who have visited them.

Vatican protocol dictates that women should wear long sleeves, formal black clothing and a black veil during private audiences with the pope....


At the Western Wall, the first family did follow Jewish religious custom. The men (President Trump and son-in-law Jared Kushner) went to the men's prayer plaza while the president's daughter Ivanka and the first lady went to the women's area, Israeli newspaper Haaretz reported.

Ivanka Trump, who converted to Judiaism, wore a hat at the Western Wall as it is customary for observant women to cover their hair.


Every once in a while, the people who say they do straight news get it right.

And isn't that last sentence interesting.

Henry said...

Also, that NPR story is worth the link, just for this picture

It's like a still from a Fellini movie.

D said...

A: "Just look at the crease in his pants, my god!!"
B: "You got to be joking. No one is looking at them"
A: "Them?? Are you sure you want to go with that pronoun?"
B: "Uh.... Wouldnt, uh, "crease" be plural when there are two legs, that is what Teacher said. I think."
A:
B: "I am trying to think of something else that comes in two..."
A: "Does staring at the picture help?"
B: "It cant hurt... Hey, why arent you smilin?"

Fernandinande said...

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...
"women are not entitled to be in charge of their own emotional life"
This seems so obvious that I hesitate to even ask, but shouldn't it be 'their own emotional lives?'


Of course: "Women returned to their homes", not "Women returned to their home".

"Women" is plural, and multiple people don't possess one life.

Sebastian said...

@Henry: "Also, that NPR story is worth the link, just for this picture. It's like a still from a Fellini movie.' Yeah, nailed it.

YoungHegelian said...

@jaed,

It's not about giving people helpful tips when coaching them, for heaven's sake. It's about total strangers walking up to women on the street and demanding that they smile. Immediately. (I've had this happen myself.)

I'm sorry, but that's just an asshole getting in someone else's face. Does an asshole's plan of attack follow gendered patterns? Sure, they do. What gets a man's goat is different from what get's a woman's.

Have I been told to smile? No. But, have I gone through some variant of the "Hey, buddy! You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?**" played out by every ethnic & racial stereotype available in this great country of ours. I've even lived to tell the tales.

**Recently, when my brother & I were visiting our aged mother in Alabama, I walked up to my brother at the hotel front desk (I'm 60, he's 65, & neither of us look especially menacing). I started in on the "Taxi Driver" routine of "Hey, you lookin' at me?" & my brother reciprocated. The poor desk clerk didn't know what to do, but she sure seemed relieved when we walked away together.

Virtually Unknown said...

Fine, don't smile. Plenty of fish.

Virtually Unknown said...

What really fries their onions is when a non-attractive man asks them to smile. Attractive men can say just about whatever they want.

SGT Ted said...

There's no end to women telling men what to do, every fucking minute of every fucking day.

But, don't tell women to smile; that's oppression.

Fuck these people.

Earnest Prole said...

It's like a still from a Fellini movie.

Yikes! I had no idea Melania painted her eyes like La Saraghina.

YoungHegelian said...

It coudda been worse!

What if the Donster had asked the Pope about the old Cheech & Chong "The Pope & the Mafia" routine?

Ya get it, Franky? "She's gotta hava bigga boobs. Verri, verri bigga boobs. Lika dis" (accompanying hand gestures). I remember when me & my buds first heard that years ago, stoned out of our gourds, we laughed so hard we pissed ourselves. C'mon, Franky, give it another chance...

Why, that could have exhausted the Vatican's supply of plenary indulgences right then & there.

Jupiter said...

"The only question is whether the other approach is even right."

Have it your way. Bob has a Fiat. Ted has a Volkswagen. Bob and Ted have a car.

jaed said...

"Hey, buddy! You lookin' at me? You lookin' at me?**"

OK, that seems equivalent. I don't think I've ever heard of a woman getting that treatment from a random passerby, either.

FIDO said...

What is the subtext of this 'why don't you smile'?

He is saying 'You seem to be intent on making me unwelcome and not interesting at all'.

If she responds in the multiple manners Feminists approve of, she is, in fact, confirming this. "I don't owe being nice to you."

Fair enough as far as it goes.

Socially, this is the equivalent of killing a goat and throwing it into a well. She can't go back to that well to drink.

Now, as long as the woman thinks that she lives in a land of endless wells, that is fine.

But if she constantly engages in RBF (resting bitch face), an atmosphere where there is a constant cloud of rebuffed people around her...don't you think that she is making a world of her own devising?

I keep trying to get my son to adopt a nice smile. Does that mean I am a sexist against men or I am trying to impose basic social skills? For a feminist, it is only an issue if I teach my daughters that.

Tim DeRoche said...

Althouse - For a very clever riff on the idea of Melania as a part of the resistance...
Fallopia's Uprising

A mash-up of feminist fantasy, modern-day fairytale, and Trump Derangement Syndrome.

YoungHegelian said...

@Tim,

Thanks for posting an instance of a lefty, feminist being, well, the very exemplar of a nasty, unfunny, mean-spirited bitch.

I mean, that woman was so mean & nasty that she makes rhhardin's musings on femininity seem pastel by comparison.

Fen said...

"so that you'll have a more pleasurable experience"

Quite an assumption. Especially coming from someone claiming they never heard a man on the receiving end of this.

It's happened to me a few times. I assumednthe annoying busybody was just trying to cheer me up.

I didn't feel victimized. I didn't feel objectified for someone else's pleasure. And I didn't feel a need to write a dissertation on marginalization.

I think I told them to fuck off. Not sure, as those incidents weren't traumatic enough to get tagged into memory.

Know why? Because I'm not a woman. Gods you people are the most spoiled creatures on the planet. Get over yourselves. No wonder men disregard you so readily.

Fen said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, but I need to get your statement. What was the cause of the fire?

"I'm still not sure. We were in the kitchen and I was trying to get her to laugh, and then-"

Ahh say no more. Fortunately, you were wise enough to get the Special Snowflake upgrade to your policy. We just need you to confirm she had a liberal arts degree. And if you can recall whether she practiced Social Justice Voodoo, that would be helpfull. Smile, you should be happy - we're going to get you into a brand new house in no time!

Fen said...

Okay I've been unnecessarily mean. Apologies, Im just sick of women turning every goddam thing into a feminist critique. While remaining ignorant that it's simply rude behavior that even us evil Neanderthal men experience too.

What was it last month? Oh yah, "manteruptions"... like men never talk over each other, and women never interupt. Sick of that shit.

veni vidi vici said...

See the photo of the Pope blessing Melania's rosary as it is in her hand, taken head-on to the Pope. If it wasn't entirely clear before, The Donald is quite obviously very much crazy about his wife. There's no disguising what he's expressing in the smile on his face as he's gazing at her: pride, and mad love.

Donald Trump may be the luckiest man alive. Charmed life on the guy no doubt.

Kirk Parker said...

Virtually,

"What really fries their onions is when a non-attractive man asks them to smile. Attractive men can say just about whatever they want."

Heck, attractive men can even grab them by the .... wait, what am I saying???

FIDO said...

Mary Beth

Some guys tell girls to smile to try to start a conversation. It is a soft sell pick up line.

Unfortunately it is a pretty poor one, since she frequently is NOT smiling because she is trying to put out the 'unfriendly vibes' to keep guys like the man away.

It is not an odious approach though. This is just women, in passive aggressive form, wanting once again to have any kind of social burden to be approached by any man who finds them marginally interesting or attractive.

They approach, the woman says no, he goes away. I would be complimented, but I can also see the drag.

Clyde said...

I haven't read the other comments yet, but does that picture look to anyone else like she is pulling him on an invisible leash? There's your "control and containment."

Bob said...

The term "brick shithouse" popped into my mind. Then I noticed Trump was in the picture too!

Virtually Unknown said...

A shorter list would be a list of the things a non hot guy is allowed to say to a woman without causing offense. Maybe Jezebel can come up with a list and accompanying GIFs.

Rusty said...

Blogger Virtually Unknown said...
"A shorter list would be a list of the things a non hot guy is allowed to say to a woman without causing offense."

You can say anything as long as you can make them laugh. It doesn't matter what you look like if you can be charming and witty without being greasy. So make her laugh and then ask her out.

ALP said...

Jeebus girls, get a grip on the smiling thing! I've got resting bitch face BAD. Whenever anyone (usually a man) tell me to smile, I simply stare at them and say "I am".

Today's women are utterly devoid of the witty comeback and completely unable to quickly see the humor in ANY situation.

Kirk Parker said...

Rusty,

"Hot guy" is not restricted to merely physically attractive/good looking.

#LyleLovett

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

Being a woman must be incredibly exhausting. So much to worry about, so little time.

Virtually Unknown said...

Making them laugh is my only move.

Rusty said...

Blogger Kirk Parker said...
Rusty,

"Hot guy" is not restricted to merely physically attractive/good looking.

#LyleLovett


And I, sir, am living proof of that.

mockturtle said...

V. O. laments: Making them laugh is my only move.

It's the only one you need. My husband was extremely handsome but it was his facile wit that won me over.