March 29, 2017

"Snappy Fishsuit; Acne Fountain; Sex Fruit; Loser; Fat Meat; Stud Duck; Ghoul Nipple; Number 16 Bus Shelter; Yeah Detroit; Tula Does The Hula In Hawaii; Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine The Hulk And The Flash Combined; and Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116."

Actual names cited by the lawyer for the Georgia Department of Health in a letter to the ACLU explaining that there is some power of the state to reject names that parents might want to impose on their babies. But the lawyer was also denying that the last name "Allah" was rejected because there was something substantively wrong with the name. The state says the problem is only that the last name on a birth certificate from the Office of Vital Records needs to be either the mother's last name, the father's last name, or some combination of the 2. If you want some other name, you should petition the court for a name change, and any problems with the name will be addressed at that point.

Here's the report in the NYT, which seems to be saying that the ACLU's argument is only based on a provision of the state statutory code that says birth certificates need a name "as designated by both parents." I'd like a link to the whole statutory provision. I guess the fight is over whether parents get to choose a last name as well as a first name at the birth certificate stage. An ACLU lawyer is quoted saying the parents "feel very strongly that they want all of their children to have the same last name." The parents — whose last names are Handy and Walk — already have 2 children with the last name Allah. (One of them is named Masterful Allah.)

Remember when Paul Kantner and Grace Slick named their baby God? False! Grace Slick just said the baby's name was "god" — "We spell it with a small g because we want her to be humble" — but that was just some fluffy blah blah of the time. The baby's name was China.

27 comments:

Pianoman said...

Anyone else remember the "5" character from Peanuts?

His full name was "555", but people called him 5 for short. He has two sisters named "3" and "4".

"Those are nice feminine names" -- Charlie Brown

No discussion of numbers as names would be complete without this: http://prisoner.gigacorp.net/beginner.html

"Be Seeing You!"

tcrosse said...

My name is Ro3ger. The 3 is silent.

YoungHegelian said...

Oh, cousin Ghoul Nipple will be very unhappy to hear about this. Growing up, we just called him "Goo".

Ann Althouse said...

In the 1960s, there was so much talk about the government taking away your name and giving you a number. It was the cliché paranoia of the time. The govt had to make a big deal about how SSNs were not to be used for identification.

YoungHegelian said...

The parents — whose last names are Handy and Walk — already have 2 children with the last name Allah. (One of them is named Masterful Allah.)

Those poor children! What must it be like to have two such whack jobs for parents!

SteveBrooklineMA said...

I remember 5 from Peanuts. And I knew a math grad student whose name in Chinese meant "field" and who had brothers "group" and "ring".

YoungHegelian said...

In the 1960s, there was so much talk about the government taking away your name and giving you a number

"Secret Agent Man,
Secret Agent Man,
They've giving you a number
An' takin' away yer name"

Take it away, JR!

robother said...

There is no God Slick? What can we believe in, if even the Jefferson Airplane lies?

EDH said...

Althouse said...
The baby's name was China.

Or, as Donald Trump would say...

"CHI - NA"

Geoff Matthews said...

In the Freakanomics chapter on names, two brothers were highlighted; Winner Lane and Loser Lane.
Winner became a deadbeat. Loser became a police detective. He doesn't go by his first name though.

I knew a guy named Happy.

And George Kastanza wanted to name his son Seven.

Carter Wood said...

I am not a number, I am a free man!

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

Why'd they leave out Moon Unit?

eddie willers said...

I went to school with three children from the Beach family: Rocky, Pebble and Sandy. Kinda cute, really.

At age 60, my father found out his name was Baby Boy Willers

Nels Nelson said...

California must have different laws on this, since when my daughter was born we gave her a unique last name. (Since then we've legally changed it to match mine.)

David Begley said...

What is wrong with people?

Ficta said...

The first few of those made me think of this:

Trochee Fixation

Balfegor said...

I read the heading wrong and my first thought was "what about poor Batman bin Suparman?"

exiledonmainstreet said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
exiledonmainstreet said...

exiledonmainstreet said...
My sorry-assed US representative, Gwen Moore, (but she hopefully will not be my representative for long!) has a son named Supreme Solar Allah. Supreme Solar Allah was caught and convicted of trying to slash the tires of vans the GOP had rented to take elderly voters to the polls back in 2004. Later, he was arrested in connection with the theft of a rare Stradivarius violin (which was recovered by police). One of the other persons arrested in connection with the theft was an idiot named Universal Knowledge Allah.

As moronic as Moore is, she did not name her son Supreme Solar Allah. His given name is Sowande Omokunde.

ALP said...

RE: naming kids after a god.

Working in business immigration, I come across many names from India. My favorite: Sivaramakrishna. Siva + Rama + Krishna.....those parents were not taking ANY chances and strung the names of some of the 3 most popular gods together.

I'd hate to be Sivaramakrishna and have the reputations of 3 gods to live up to.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Let's not leave out the Zappa chileren.....Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet, Diva.

Actually Diva is kind of a nice name as long as it isn't descriptive of her personality.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I see that Michelle beat me to it with Moon Unit.

YoungHegelian said...

Everybody says that Jesus was Jewish, but that's not true. I mean, if Jesus was Jewish, why'd he have an Hispanic name?

Answer me that, Mr. Smarty-Pants Biblical Studies PhD!!

exiledonmainstreet said...


Blogger YoungHegelian said...
Everybody says that Jesus was Jewish, but that's not true. I mean, if Jesus was Jewish, why'd he have an Hispanic name?

I know a Mexican guy named Jesus y Maria.

"Jesus and Mary, stop hitting your sister!"

Actually, come to think of it, I recall Irish moms screaming that at their kids all the time.

Richard said...

There was a former Providence basketball player named God Shammed. He also played one year for the Washington Wizards.

Paul Zrimsek said...

My imaginary kid, Bratty McBratface, got a kick out of this.

NorthOfTheOneOhOne said...

Dust Bunny Queen said...
Let's not leave out the Zappa chileren.....Moon Unit, Dweezil, Ahmet, Diva.

Dwezil's legal name wasn't Dwezil. The hospital wouldn't issue the Zappas a birth certificate with that name. His legal name was Ian Donald Calvin Euclid Zappa, named after various members of Frank's then current band. It was later legally changed to Dwezil upon five year old Dwezil's insistence.

3/29/17, 4:53 PM Delete