March 15, 2017

"Rep. Jessica Farrar (D-Houston) introduced the [Man's Right to Know Act], formally entitled 'An act relating to the regulation of men ’s health and safety; creating a civil penalty for unregulated masturbatory emissions'..."

"... to state legislature on Friday.... In this case, instances of 'unregulated emissions' by men, which warrant a $100 fine under the proposed health act, would be those outside of 'occasional masturbatory emissions inside health care and medical facilities,' which—thanks to modern preservation techniques—could reportedly prevent men from committing 'an act against an unborn child [and] failing to preserve the sanctity of life.'... [T] he act would also require that doctors greater involve themselves, and a wealth of explicit information (with pamp[h]lets), in men's personal medical decisions. Meanwhile, '[Patient consent] to an elective vasectomy or colonoscopy procedure, or a prescription of Viagra, is [considered] voluntary and informed only if at least 24 hours have passed since the initial health care consultation for the procedure or prescription.'"

Forbes reports, helpfully informing us that Farrar intends the act as "protest" and "satire."

If you think that legislators shouldn't introduce bills that would violate constitutional rights, then her response would obviously be that abortion bills that violate rights are introduced (and passed!) quite frequently, so if it's wrong, let's everyone stop.

48 comments:

Ken B said...

What a sexist you are Ann to not note the underlying premise: sperm is like a seed growing in the ground. You need that to make the analogy.

Chuck said...

I saw this story a couple of days ago, on an NPR webpage. All that raced through my mind were adjectives: witless; obscene; outrageous. "Non-sequitir" was a term that also occurred to me. Since when is it, that "masturbation" and various sterilization procedures ever became the subject of state statutes? Abortion is like none of those things. I don't recall Republicans ever legislating womens' masturbation, or tubal ligations, or (since Griswold) contraception.

The last thing that occurred to me was that this will propel this state representative to the same political success(es) that Texas state senator Wendy Davis found after her own reproductive stunt in the Texas legislature. Which is to say, none.

John said...

What if "it's" done in the privacy of your own office? Isn't there a right to privacy within the Constitution that would take precedent?

Josephbleau said...

We must act now to prevent all the hidden back alley masturbation. Really, satire? Only the simplest high school stupidity.

David Begley said...

"an elective ... colonoscopy procedure...."

What's that got to do with anything?

Ok, so it is a joke. Satire. But such foolishness makes politicians look even more foolish than they already are. Their approval ratings are low as it is.

In Nebraska a liberal state senator sued God in state court. Don't know how he served the Complaint. No sanctions. Nothing bad happened to him. Re-elected every time until term limits forced him out. And then he got elected after a waiting period. Sorry to say this guy graduated from Creighton Law School.

Etienne said...

I think the abortion should be encouraged, but only for religions that start with an "M".

jaed said...

You know, it's been hundreds of years since anyone thought that a sperm is an embryo and a child grows from a man's semen alone. Thanks to science, we now know a great deal about the importance of the ovum, about the genetic code as inherited from both parents, about nucleosynthesis and embryogenesis. We know better than to think a seminal emission is, or contains, an unborn child.

So let me ask: Why does this fool politician hate science?

sean said...

I'm not aware that liberal political theory protects the right to masturbate, but it does suggest that introducing legislation as satire stupid and wrong.

Fabi said...

Can the state auto-draft my bank account for the fines?

Kate said...

If she wants to give up on that pesky separation of church/state, some of these could become law. The Catholic Church already frowns upon ... loose sperm.

jaed said...

"an elective ... colonoscopy procedure...."

What's that got to do with anything?


It's supposed to be a brain-dead analog to the pre-abortion ultrasound. That would be the dating ultrasound that every abortion provider in the country, pretty much, requires as part of the standard procedure before performing an abortion, to confirm the pregnancy and the location, as well as the fetal age.

During most ultrasounds, the tech doing it asks whether you want to watch on the auxiliary screen. With pre-abortion ultrasounds, they usually don't ask and just keep the aux screen turned to the wall.

A few years ago, in a couple of states they introduced bills to require the tech to ask pregnant women whether they want to view the ultrasound—the theory being that if one said yes, and watched the ultrasound, and viewed the baby, they might decide not to abort after all. Immediately, this was distorted into "OMG they want to make women have an ultrasound [even though it's already standard procedure for medical reasons]!!! And OMG OMG early dating ultrasounds need to be done transvaginally [because you can't get a good picture through the abdomen until later in the pregnancy than abortions are usually done], so OMG OMG OMG they're insisting that women be PROBED!!! PROBED, I tell you!!!!!"

Thus does "requiring a colonoscopy for no conceivable reason" become equivalent, in the mind of fool politicians, to "requiring the tech to ask the patient whether she wants to watch the standard dating ultrasound or not".

antiphone said...

As you know it's so, so, so important not to loose sight of the real business of the American people and as apologists for fake news on squishy birther blogs we have an "obligation" to force Snoop Dog (looser drug addict!) to "apologize" for insulting the Tweeter in Chief. I've never been more cereal.

n.n said...

So, denying life unworthy is equivalent... congruent to wasteful emissions?

Farrar is in "good" company. Democrats need to repudiate their principled alignment with history's elective abortionists, clinical cannibals, and [class] diversitists.

SukieTawdry said...

Reminds me of the line in Legally Blond about masturbatory emissions as child abandonment.

n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Matthew Sablan said...

"I think the abortion should be encouraged, but only for religions that start with an "M"."

-- Poor Methodists.

Also: This was funny in the Legally Blonde musical because when the lead character said it, it was AFTER bringing up an actually interesting point, and this was being deliberately used to kick the hypothetical person in the case while they were rhetorically down.

If this person's idea of "insightful political satire" is "stolen from a musical about a blonde who realizes she's more than she gives herself credit for and is actually more than just a pretty girl," then, well, maybe she shouldn't do satire.

Achilles said...

This is how far the democrat party and progressives have fallen. This woman is just stupid and so are all of the people that voted for her and are not embarrassed.

Etienne said...

A story a few years ago, was about a pregnant girl (I think she was 12 and never menstruated before). To top it off, she had a birth defect, in that her vagina had no opening.

When doctors found she was pregnant, they found out she had been stabbed a few months earlier after giving oral sex to a man. The semen was in her stomach where she was stabbed, and survived all that abuse, and after she was stabbed, found its way down to her fallopian tube and fertilized an egg.

Sperm is some nasty stuff. It's definitely a bio-hazard.

So anyway, they did some plastic surgery and created a new birth canal for her.

Note: She really wanted an abortion, because she didn't have time, as a prostitute, to raise a kid. They told her she had more time to think about that, and anyway she could just drop the baby off at a fire department after it was born.

sojerofgod said...

A person can experience an event that is surreal to them.
A group of people can also agree to that.
A person cannot be surreal.
Much less cereal.
Except of course, if you are a fruit loop.
(Actually spelled Froot Loop, but to call you that would make me a LOOSER)
LOSER!
Dammit!
A "Looser" might be an equivalent term to the English slang "Tosser"
seeing as how being a tosser is the same as the subject of this post.

sojerofgod said...

I have a theory about the loser/looser problem that plagues us all these days.

When people type that work with a single "o" it somehow doesn't seem to have enough "bang" to it. I mean, under most circumstances it is a pejorative.
Example: "YOU F'ING LOSER!!!"
Not enough bang.
So why not spice it up like you REALLY mean it! Ad another O to it! make it a double!
" YOU F'ING LOOSER!!!"
See?
Oh hell lets really cut loose (ha)

" YOU F'ING LOOOSER!!!!"
better?

harrogate said...

But Bortions!

n.n said...

Hate Loves Abortion

Gahrie said...

her response would obviously be that abortion bills that violate rights are introduced (and passed!) quite frequently,

....and the obvious response is that those anti-abortion bills protect rights....the right of the baby to life.

The attempt to equate masturbation and abortion is deeply offensive, to both men and women.

Bob Boyd said...

Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted
Texas gets irate.

Let the rednecks spill theirs
On the dusty ground
The state will make them pay for
Each sperm that can't be found.

exhelodrvr1 said...

"I have a theory about the loser/looser problem that plagues us all these days."

Reminds me of Jethro Bodine and the "Double Naught Spy"

Bob Boyd said...

Every sperm is murdered
When you masturbate
We try to keep them swimming
In the Lone Star State.


Okies, Yanks and Coasties
Spill theirs anywhere,
But Texas says you'll you treat your
Jism with more care.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Why don't people take feminists seriously?

The analogy of sperm produced from masturbation to a fetus is stupid to the point of absurdity--it doesn't make sense to anyone who understands how babies are made. The actual analogy would be to unfertilized eggs "wasted" by menstruation...and of course absolutely no one is trying to regulate periods (in the sense of State rules).

But yeah, go on, equate fetuses to sperm. 'Cause the Left "fucking loves science," right?? Logic is sexist, anyway.

What a joke.

Jupiter said...

I don't think a Pussy Hat is going to work for Jessica Farr. Do they make Asshole Hats?

damikesc said...

Can the legislator point to any aspect of TX state law or Federal law that would make her bill legal?

Abortion has the whole equal rights and due process question.

No masturbation for men? That seems like it lead to an impeachment. Anybody willing to sacrifice anybody's rights for giggles is too unserious to be in office.

It's supposed to be a brain-dead analog to the pre-abortion ultrasound. That would be the dating ultrasound that every abortion provider in the country, pretty much, requires as part of the standard procedure before performing an abortion, to confirm the pregnancy and the location, as well as the fetal age.

Isn't it astonishing that the ones who decry that we need to keep abortion legal and "safe" seem to also want "doctors" to just root around women's wombs blindly and hope they hit the target?

Also, does the bill outlaw mental masturbation? Because the bill would violate itself if so.

bagoh20 said...

Once you identify the spooge stooge as a deplorable species among us, you naturally must marginalize and eventually outlaw them. We need to build a wall.

bagoh20 said...

I have a large barrel of sperm I've been saving, carefully waiting for my bagoh20 army to go to full term and emerge. You will all soon bow at my sticky feet.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Legislation by MadLibs.

exiledonmainstreet said...

antiphone, it really isn't wise to post comments when you are under the influence of drugs.

Perhaps someday, after rehab, you will be capable of writing a sensible sentence.

Jane the Actuary said...

So in addition to the stupidity of thinking that sperm and embryos are the same, she's wasting the legislature's time for a political stunt. I mean, it's not as if this is just something she did in her spare time; this requires that other people put in the work necessary to record this as a bill. Good one!

antiphone said...

antiphone, it really isn't wise to post comments when you are under the influence of drugs.

Perhaps someday, after rehab, you will be capable of writing a sensible sentence.


OK, if you really want to go the ad hominem route you might want to bring the level of insults up higher than the 9th grade, unless of course you're in the 8th grade in which case, bravo!

Earnest Prole said...

don't feed the legislative trolls

Lorenzo said...

Remember the good old days when Lefties fought to get the government out of our bedrooms?

Good times those were. Good times

Bob Loblaw said...

I guess the argument she's making is that a baby is the same thing as sperm.

It's a stupid argument.

Friedrich Engels' Barber said...

The bill can be paired with a "Convent Custody Bill," which will enable any Protestant clergyman over fifty years of age to search any nun whom he suspects of being in possession of treasonable papers or Jesuitical symbols.

Oso Negro said...

This blog is being Moby-swarmed. Sad.

exiledonmainstreet said...

antiphone, why should I waste my efforts on someone who isn't even coherent?

You're too stupid to take seriously.

MadisonMan said...

I thought this a stupid stunt a couple days ago when I first heard of it.

On reflection, I still think it's stupid. You get the Legislators you deserve, I guess.

jaydub said...

Sounds like this particular legislator has a bukkaki fixation. Maybe Laslo can help her.

Phil 3:14 said...

By the same logic, every period is illegal.

sunsong said...

lol

Fernandinande said...

Forbes reports, helpfully informing us that Farrar intends the act as "protest" and "satire."

Farrar: Don't quit your day job.

Bad Lieutenant said...

No, Ferny, please, let Rep. Farrar by all means quit her day job. If she does, I'll buy a ticket to see her at the Improv.

Paul said...

Apparently biology is one of the subjects Farrar didn't take in school.

Sperm is not a 'seed' that can grow by itself. Need that egg ya know.

But once that egg is fertilized by that sperm, you know, 'birds and bees', then it can grow.

Farrar needs to tax woman's periods since they can be know as when they 'do' it.

Men may masturbate or not, no way to know. So lets tax the women.