April 28, 2016

The "meternity" leave.

It's maternity leave without having a baby — me... -ternity.
Women are bad at putting ourselves first. But when you have a child, you learn how to self-advocate to put the needs of your family first. A well-crafted “meternity” can give you the same skills — and taking one shouldn’t disqualify you from taking maternity leave later.

As for me, I did eventually give notice at my job and take a “meternity” of my own.... Ultimately, what I learned from my own “meternity” leave is that any pressure I felt to stay late at the office wasn’t coming from the parents on staff. It was coming from myself. Coming back to a new position, I realized I didn’t need an “excuse” to leave on time....
That's from Anna Davies, who has a book. Meanwhile, Arianna Huffington, who also has a book, is making herself about sleeping
“I want to rekindle our romance with sleep,” said Ms. Huffington, 65, in a lullaby voice as soothing as her floral perfume. “It’s a central part of life and a gateway to our dreams.”

66 comments:

sean said...

Wow, quite a shift from "leaning in." Mutabile semper est femina.

The Bergall said...

What is sad is that they believe their own gibberish...........

Big Mike said...

No. Just. No. Maternity leave is for mothers. If you want maternity leave, you need to go through the morning sickness and the sleepless nights feeding a colicky infant.

YoungHegelian said...

A well-crafted “meternity” can give you the same skills — and taking one shouldn’t disqualify you from taking maternity leave later.

I'm sorry to start out this thread channeling RH here, but as I grow from a middle aged curmudgeon to an old curmudgeon, it's starting to dawn on me that this wholesale drafting of women into the workforce thing may have been just a big mistake.

That a woman thought it would be okay to write something like this for the NY Post without fear that she'd be laughed out of town is frightening. Yes, when you work for someone else, especially at in a highly paid "professional" position, your employer basically owns your ass, & often it's a miserable situation. That's why the Marxists called it "wage slavery", you ninny!

Bruce Hayden said...

Sorry, it is really the other way around in many, if not most, cases, with women being the narcissistic, selfish, self-indulgent, sex in many relationships, Guy takes care of the gal, and she takes his resources, and gives them to her kids. To some extent, I think that is the way that life is supposed to be.

MadisonMan said...

I'm not sure how what the author discovered about herself required an extended hiatus from work.

From the article: Burnout syndrome is well-documented in both sexes, but recent research suggests that women may experience it at greater rates; researchers postulate that it’s because women (moms and non-moms alike) feel overloaded by the roles they have to take on at work and at home.

Of course women are hardest hit. They always are. They always are.

Hey women: Just do your as job expected, and for which you are paid (be grateful for that paycheck). Stop whining about feeling overloaded (sorry to add to your burden by telling you not to feel overloaded). Life is tough. There are no shortcuts.

campy said...

"Women are bad at putting ourselves first."

Hahahahahahahahaha.

traditionalguy said...

Dreamland. It's more than a popular Barbeque spot.

She wants to be 65 at age 25 . Planned non parenthood is a women's health issue .

Meanwhile Testosterone Don and Bob Knight play thr Male Card. They believe in working from 4:00 AM till midnight and won't touch drugs and alcohol.

The harder they work, the luckier they get.

Chuck said...

Me... Al Franken-leave...

wholelottasplainin' said...

Wanna great example of Batshit Leftnoid Cognitive Dissonance?:

Try arguing for "Meternity Leave" AND "Wage Equality for Wymyn".

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Taking leave for oneself is empowering. Refusing to take leave or breaks from continuous employment is empowering.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Part of providing economic security for women will be making sure they're able to take as much leave as they feel they need to take, and of course ensuring that their taking that leave does not in any way harm their career or lifetime earnings. We do this for parents now, of course, but that's too restrictive--it should be for parents and also for any woman who wants to take advantage of it. It's her right, and it's your duty to pay for it. Get to work! (No, not you sweetie, you take your leave whenever you need to.)

Quaestor said...

I like the psychology tag. Especially when paired with Ariana Huffenpuffington, or is that Stuffenuthinton?

Char Char Binks said...

That ought to close the pay gap.

Fernandinande said...

Women are bad at putting ourselves first.
False.

Two anagrams of "meternity" are "Mr. Yeti Net" and "vacation".

DanTheMan said...

>>"a sabbatical-like break that allows women and, to a lesser degree, men..."

Some are more equal than others.

Michael K said...

"The harder they work, the luckier they get."

Said no women's advocate ever.

Rhythm and Balls said...

Women are bad at putting ourselves first.

Apparently not due to lack of trying.

DanTheMan said...

If this comes to pass, expect a lot of new-found support for temporary gender expression.

Rick said...

For women who follow a “traditional” path, this pause often naturally comes in your late 20s or early 30s, when a wedding, pregnancy and babies means that your personal life takes center stage. But for those who end up on the “other” path, that socially mandated time and space for self-reflection may never come.

Another out of touch misogynist clueless about the issues facing women.

JCC said...

From my experience managing small to medium sized groups of mixed gender employees...

"I didn’t need an “excuse” to leave on time..."

Boy, that's the damned truth, referring to most female employees.

"...you learn how to self-advocate..."

I'd suggest that's a born-with skill.

"it was assumed co-workers without kids would stay behind to pick up the slack."

That's exactly what happens. You just figuring that out?

"...advocate what works for me..."

Cool, as long as you realize that neglecting work so you can - you know - 'be you' will have consequences for your career, especially when your peer group do not all make the same decision, and instead, they may concentrate on work instead of their psyche via margaritas with friends at 5 and long bubble baths. Or cheering for Hillary when she demanded equal pay for women.

Grow up, you fatuous ass.

Rick said...

YoungHegelian said...
That a woman thought it would be okay to write something like this for the NY Post


It's worse: she wrote an entire book on the subject.

StephenFearby said...

Maternity leave is primarily for the benefit of the child. One example, breast feeding.

buwaya said...

"Yes, when you work for someone else, especially at in a highly paid "professional" position, your employer basically owns your ass, & often it's a miserable situation."

Its not the employer, that I have seen, more often its the responsibility. It really is difficult to break off for a vacation if things will very likely fall apart without you; if things are set up to work with little margin this situation is not at all unusual. I have often ended up with several months accrued vacation.

Sebastian said...

Meternity: the reductio ad absurdum of feminism. Or: the naked display of its core. And I do appreciate AA posting things that against her own feminism-is-the theory-that party line.

robother said...

She needs to care for the big baby in the mirror.

hawkeyedjb said...

People think the law can give them more salary or more benefits. It can't. The law can force the employer to re-allocate between salary, maternity time, vacation time, sick time, personal time, or any other time. What the law can't do is make more money available, or make the employee more productive (which is the only source of More Money).

So, some people want a law to reduce salary and increase "Me-ternity" time. Go for it. Leave me out.

BN said...

I expected this to be about the women-going-their-own-way movement, i.e., "me for eternity."

Alas, she came back, so we're not that lucky.

On the other hand, she discovered a new position, so that might be fun trying out.

Paul Zrimsek said...

This must be one of the things they're planning to do with that secure financial support from the government.

As long as you've got a Woman Card, you may as well max it out.

DanTheMan said...

>>As long as you've got a Woman Card, you may as well max it out.

Unlimited credit line, and somebody else pays the bill every month. Maybe Jenner isn't so nuts after all...

Gahrie said...

it's starting to dawn on me that this wholesale drafting of women into the workforce thing may have been just a big mistake.

We managed to send most of them back home after WW I, but after WW II the game was up, unfortunately.

Yes, when you work for someone else, especially at in a highly paid "professional" position, your employer basically owns your ass, & often it's a miserable situation. That's why the Marxists called it "wage slavery", you ninny!
More importantly, it explains the "wage gap". While she's off on her meternity, her male co-workers are still putting in 10-12 hour days.

n.n said...

Meternity would be when female chauvinists sacrificed their children and relationships in order to purse wealth, pleasure, and leisure, and, apparently, indulge their inner narcissist.

Welcome to [in]equality. You're just not that special.

tim in vermont said...

Women are bad at putting ourselves first.

If by "bad" you mean not exactly 100% perfect, then sure.

tim in vermont said...

This must be one of the things they're planning to do with that secure financial support from the government.

This whole thing about having to put out to harness up a man to support them is so retrograde. The new thing is to use the government's monopoly on violence to force men to support them. That way they can get away with only putting out for "cute" guys without paying any kind of price for the fact that there are not enough of them to go around.

n.n said...

her male co-workers are still putting in 10-12 hour days

During maternity, before meternity, women also put in 10-12 hour days. The natural order delegated responsibility in accordance with the individual's sex and inside a well established frame of reference. Equal and complementary.

n.n said...

use the government's monopoly on violence to force men to support them
-- meternity

Steven Davis said...

What in the actual fuck? As someone that was RIFed two months ago, and until now. has not had more than 4 consecutive days off in over 15 years, I don't get it at all. I'm financially secure, but the last 8 weeks have been brutal. The less I do, the less I feel like doing, and at the rate I'm going, I might just die of ennui. Maybe I can contract myself as a temp for businesses that just can't seem to keep women doing their damn jobs.

Michael said...

Is there a number they would take to shut up and stay home? Not one or the other,but both? Because I would be in favor of coming up with the money to make that happen. If one of them, even one, complained the whole deal would be off.

I have tried, God knows I have tried, but they are for shit as hard workers. In forty years I have had maybe two.

tim in vermont said...

Women settled the issue of who should come first when they evolved a year round receptivity to sex, unlike all the other great apes, where the male is only overly solicitous of the female during short times. When she abandoned estrus, the female "tamed" the male.

It is funny that the phallus is popularly considered to be the symbol for power. The actual repository of power is the "cunt" as a poster called it yesterday as part of an attempted insult to some men.

tim in vermont said...

The lamentations of the women continue apace. Even though Conan is long dead.

Mark said...

Meternity sounds exactly like something Penelope Trunk would have advocated for.

Whatever happened to her? Haven't seen her linked from here in a long time.

eric said...

If you can read this

There’s something about saying “I need to go pick up my child” as a reason to leave the office on time that has far more gravitas than, say, “My best friend just got ghosted by her OkCupid date and needs a margarita” — but both sides are valid.

And not shake your head or laugh, then something is wrong with you.

Both sides are valid?!

Sure, same thing. Drinking with a friend and picking up kids. Equally valid.

Dude1394 said...

She took her own meternity leave. I wonder who metrnitied her bills?

Joe said...

"Women are bad at putting ourselves first."

Quite to the contrary.

MaxedOutMama said...

Well, um, first world problems?

MaxedOutMama said...

What's funniest about this is the author's idea that maternity leave is about "self-reflection". The first thing most new mothers find out is that they don't get time to take a decent shower.

holdfast said...

The lightweight trails ain't worth 78 cents on the dollar, or whatever made-up stat they are spouting this week.

If you want the real bucks, you gotta put in the real work.

madAsHell said...

“I want to rekindle our romance with sleep,”

Is this the new I-have-a-headache? Because, I know someone that needs a new excuse!!!

sghart3578 said...

Isn't that why you get vacation days?

Paul Zrimsek said...

For women: meternity.
For men: payternity.

jr565 said...

Maternity leave is one of the big reasons why women don't earn as much as men. If she wants to take a maternity leave and not have kids, it may be reflective of a lower salary for women in general. Since more women would be taking maternity leave than before this might lower the average salary even more. Then again, men might take advantage of this too.

aritai said...

When technology Uber-izes all effort, making everyone self-employed this problem will go away. Benefits apart from a negotiated price for some piecework will obsolete the use of benefits, save those you pay yourself. Will be good fun. D@mn those iPhones which started making all this possible a decade ago since they can manage all the data required for lifetime of project work. A very subversive act for Steve Jobs, who probably knew this was the end of capitalism and socialism as we knew it. Cab drivers never knew what hit them. Every cooperative business activity will look like a movie production where everything is a contract, optimized for revenue for investors who take the risk, the talent who might create the returns, their agents, and the help that set the lunch table. While minimizing taxes and making borders obsolete. Welcome to future, where everyone has the ability to have the same benefits. This is also when health as a benefit will sort itself out. Because it's either tax deductible for all, or a public good, freely available for all (with quality and progress frozen in amber, because no obscene profit to inventors means no invention, no more medical miracles). Then again this is a small price to pay for helping everyone die in the same pain, equality being so important, equality in death likely the last human right to be created. And if we-the-people start to value life over an earth returned to it’s natural, human free state, we might decide to pay individuals and teams that create and raise a child something to do it, including an agency that organizes and optimizes revenue for whomever is willing to sacrifice some fraction of their time, if any, to give birth and care for a youngster. The family unit becoming just another contract that can be securitized, bought and sold. Oh My.

David said...

"Women are bad at putting ourselves first."

Lost me right at the outset.

tim in vermont said...

sn't it kind of like what Meade is doing
only the baby he is caring for is Ann?


That kind of arrangement is what men live for, same as Labradors live to fetch ducks and sticks. Sure there are exceptions among men, but in the main...

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Her point of view is ridiculous on its face. "Me-time" is vacation--it's free time to do whatever you want. Willing to bet she already gets that. Maternity or paternity leave is not empty time; it is for the purpose of caring for a newborn. There is no free time there. She doesn't have kids so she has no idea what those of us who care for them actually do. All the time that she's not working is, by definition, her time. How does a professional working one full time job not have enough time to "put herself first?"

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

And, she's embarrassing, as a woman. A grown man could never/would never whine about needing more time for a social life and expect to maintain respect from anyone.

damikesc said...

Can't figure out why there is a "gender gap" in pay. Just BAFFLING.

As a hint, pushing out a baby isn't a vacation. Leaving work on time to take care of children isn't a vacation either. Unless you want your time off to be dedicated to the needs of a person incapable of putting you first in their heart, then you're just a lazy slug.

Sure, same thing. Drinking with a friend and picking up kids. Equally valid.

Thought that also. I guess she'd argue both are about abandonment, but the OK Cupid example is usually because the friend is a vapid idiot and anybody with an IQ above 10 would "abandon" her. To argue that drinking with buddies is the same as taking kids and home and taking care of them indicates that her desire to be child-free is welcome by society.

tim maguire said...

I love the idea of a Sabbatical. We'd all be better off if we could take one. Her problem is not that she wants "me time," but that she wants it without consequence. She wants everyone around her to pick up her slack while she's away, continue to pay her while she discovers herself, and then, when she's done, just step right back in without so much as a thank you.

Receptionist: How do you write women so well?
Melvin Udall: I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.


--Jack Nicholson, As Good As It Gets

tim maguire said...

Every time you think you've found the bottom of that navel and fully inventoried its contents, along comes a third-wave feminist to show you you're wrong.

Fortunately, I can hear fourth-wave feminism firing up out back. Initial reviews on this model are more positive.

damikesc said...

Every time you think you've found the bottom of that navel and fully inventoried its contents, along comes a third-wave feminist to show you you're wrong.

No joke. They demand equal pay but want TONS of perks that men don't get. They want to be able to take long sabbaticals, requiring others to carry the load, but then return and be at the same level as those who carried the load.

Todd said...

meternity leave

This is double-speak for "I quit my job". I guess she doesn't just say "I quit my job" cause that would not result in a published "article" on quitting one's job in order to hang out at home while so many others are without jobs cause of the current economic environment.

jeff said...

"Women are bad at putting ourselves first"

That's why there are no day spas for women, oh wait.

damikesc said...

That's why there are no day spas for women, oh wait.

Looking at the ownership of those spas, they might be bad at putting themselves first, they are quite successful at getting men to put them first.

Fred Drinkwater said...

"For women who follow a “traditional” path, this pause often naturally comes in your late 20s or early 30s, when a wedding, pregnancy and babies means that your personal life takes center stage. But for those who end up on the “other” path, that socially mandated time and space for self-reflection may never come."
HaHaHaHa Ha Ha Ha HA.
This twit not only has no kids of her own, obviously, but I doubt she had parents either. Only that extreme level of ignorance could have made it possible for her come up with that last bit "time and space for self-reflection" as a key element of marriage, pregnancy, and babies.
Oh, wait, I suppose I could be wrong. She might be a trust-fund baby. Or she might just be incurably stupid.

Fred Drinkwater said...

YoungHegelian said...
That a woman thought it would be okay to write something like this for the NY Post

Rick said: It's worse: she wrote an entire book on the subject.

It's worse: Anyone can write a book. She found a publisher and probably a market for her drivel.

Fred Drinkwater said...

I negotiated a 6-month unpaid leave from work once. The agreement to take me back was only verbal, so I bore the risk. As it happened, I did not go back, instead started free-lancing.
I was able to do this because I busted my ass to get a STEM degree, paid off my loan in 6 months, saved for 15 years, and married a sound woman.
Go thou and do likewise, my child...