February 27, 2016

"Put Yourself on a 20 Minute Timer to Make Awkward Social Events Easier."

From Lifehacker.

The idea is that when the timer on your phone alert sounds, people around you will think you have some kind of message and you'll have a way to make a graceful exit (with a simple white lie), and before the timer goes off, just knowing the timer is running will be some kind of comfort.

18 comments:

Laslo Spatula said...

When I am wanting to leave a social situation I just complain of painful menstrual cramps.

I am Laslo.

Terry said...

Works great at funerals!
For extra fun, when your phone goes off, answer it with a loud "What! That's not you in the coffin?"

Laslo Spatula said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bob Ellison said...

It could work for pub-crawling, too, though you'd probably want to set the timer at two minutes or so. But it might just induce chugging, so maybe not a good idea.

Laslo Spatula said...

Social Encounter.

Everyone's phone alerts all go off at about the same time.

Everyone makes their excuses and leaves.

No one wanted to be with anyone else, anyway.

We'll have to do this again sometime.

I'll call you.

Or maybe just text me.

I am Laslo.

MadisonMan said...

Why not just be a bit assertive, say "Excuse me" and leave?

Ipso Fatso said...

Flatulence works for me.

I am not Laslo

Terry said...

Better idea:
Set the alarm to play a recording of Slim Whitman's "The Song of the Old Waterwheel", and after that people will leave you alone because your such a goddam hillbilly.

Terry said...

Or set the alarm to play the theme song from the 1970s sitcom "Maude", and if someone says "Hey! Isn't that the theme song from 'Maude'?", you will have made a new friend and have someone interesting to talk to.

Laslo Spatula said...

The choice of "twenty minutes" is pretty intuitive.

In a Social Gathering I can only make it about twenty minutes before I stop the pretense of listening to the women and simply begin staring at their breasts.

If Yoga pants are involved maybe only ten minutes.

I am Laslo.

rehajm said...

MadisonMan said...
Why not just be a bit assertive, say "Excuse me" and leave?


My favorite is, 'You've grown tiresome. I'm going to go stand over there now.'

khematite@aol.com said...

In the old days, those lucky enough to have a secretary had the luxury of arranging for her (it was the old days, after all, so not her/him) to pop her head in your door twenty minutes into a meeting you wanted to get of and announce that you had an important call. So, hardly a new technique.

Roughcoat said...

I just ghost away. Walk out without notice, without saying anything to anyone. Or, maybe, "I've got to go the john, I'll be right back"; except I don't come back.

I decided this was okay when I realized that no one really cares about or notices your absence. That you really aren't that important to almost everyone.

coupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mr Wibble said...

If it's awkward then there will be a lull in the conversation, where you can just say, "It was a pleasure to speak with you. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to (mingle/make a phone call/get back to work)"

Ken B said...

If you hear a phone twenty minutes into sex ...

Shawn Levasseur said...

"If you hear a phone twenty minutes into sex ..."

For some people, that's called a "Wakeup Call"

Shawn Levasseur said...

"Flatulence works for me."

In some crowds, that's more of an ice-breaker to lighten the mood.