Mr. McDonald’s old mustard-yellow jumpsuit and candy cane sleeves are out."Now he’s sporting a pair of 'manpris,' a red blazer and a bowtie.1. I don't really care what Ronald McDonald is wearing these days — couldn't even remember what his old getup was — but apparently some people do.
2. The old old comedy topic of clowns being scary is predictably recycled in the commentary about the new costume. I find that sad. Or creepy! And scary! I have coulrophobiaphobia — a fear of the fear of clowns. Look: Here's a whole Wikipedia article on the subject of coulrophobia, with citations to the relevant episodes of "The Simpsons" and "Seinfeld" and "Frasier" and the Stephen King book on the topic and the "internet meme" and the Alice Cooper song and the 2009 movie "Zombieland." Noted. A thousand times.
3. I almost clicked on the link on "manpris" — which my reader's mind pronounced as "man priss" — then I saw it was a portmanteau of "man" and "capris," obviously pronounced "man preeze," and I was spared the trouble of clicking, and I needed to be spared, because I'm experiencing internet lassitude — let's portmanteau that into lassitube — this morning. Is there anything new this morning — new and interesting? What if that question itself becomes horribly old and boring? Then you're suffering from lassitube, and even the coinage lassitube is unutterably dull.
4. Now, pull up your short or long pants and get to work.
5. Why are you still here? Why am I adding to this numbered list? I wanted you to know that I found it vaguely interesting — moderately anti-lassitubular — that I'd typo'd "The Washington Pose" as I wrote this