March 11, 2014

"Between Two Ferns with Zach Galifianakis: President Barack Obama."

Watch it, here. It's a "Funny or Die" production, which you can tell Obama was advised to do to reach the young folks on the subject of HealthCare.gov, which he does pretty well. We watched at Meadhouse, which looked like this:



Dialogue:

MEADE: You can tell he's reading the lines.

ME: Yeah, well, he's a pretty good actor. You have to give him credit for that.

MEADE, perceiving that there are 2 men on the screen: Who?

ME, resisting adding "not Zach Galiwhatever, I have no idea if he's a good actor": Obama.

MEADE: Yeah, he's a big actor. That's what he is. An actor. [Referencing today's McGinniss obit:] The Selling of the President.

146 comments:

Tank said...

Con man has to be a good actor.

Sell it baby.

Tank said...

He's been training his acting skills all his life. He said so in his own book that someone wrote.

SteveR said...

Speaking of Jolly Sink

mccullough said...

Amusing. Can't wait for Hillary to be on there.

Nonapod said...

Maybe he'll do a voiceover for Archer next.

April Apple said...

Helping out the disadvantaged is all part of the act. It isn't real. It's all Hollywood, cult of personality, smoke and mirrors.

EDH said...

Two thoughts:

Obama will be pardoning lots of turkeys in January 2017.

ZG actually states my evolved position on same-sex marriage: for it, but opposed to same-sex divorce.

madAsHell said...

Are they still beating that dead horse?

How many extensions of the deadline will there be before they just give up? Obamacare is a big shit sandwich that no one wants to eat.

Our hostess should start a pool, and her readers could wager on the number of extensions before it is finally implemented. She could award prizes.

First place - One week in Madison.
Second place - Two weeks in Madison

RecChief said...

"What's it like being the last black president?"

hahahahaha. what a question

Ron said...

Ok, ok, we've had Classic Hollywood POTUS, and now Sixtes New Wave POTUS....it's the ladies turn....

Christina Hendricks, 2016

Couldn't be worse than the Hambone at 1600 Penn. Ave, and a damn sight better to look at.

tim maguire said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Scott M said...

Maybe he'll do a voiceover for Archer next.

No way. He's not 1/10th as cool as Burt Reynolds.

Fen said...

Why do people continually gush over him -

Same reason Althouse lets Crack spike every thread with his racist rants.

jacksonjay said...

So, Barry pretty much admits that he is pussy-whipped.

Do young uns believe Barry when he tells them they aren't invincible?

Was the reset button gag taped before the Ukraine affair?

Tank said...

tim maguire said...

Is he such a good actor? I've never seen evidence that he's a particularly good speaker, good actor, good at anything other than accepting honors he hasn't earned.


He has good timing telling jokes.

He fooled 50%+ into thinking he was qualified to be President.

tim maguire said...

Is he such a good actor? I've never seen evidence that he's a particularly good speaker, good actor, good at anything other than accepting honors he hasn't earned. Why do people continually gush over him, making up stories about how great a writer he is, how great a thinker he is, how great a [] he is?

Barack Obama is a thoroughly pedestrian man, boring really, whose one great talent is getting influential people excited about him (which says something about how we choose our influential people).

The two truest things I've ever heard said about Obama were, first by Obama himself, "I am a blank slate on which people write their hopes" and by Bill Clinton, "this guy should be getting my coffee."

EDH said...

Okay, it's a gag. But I see Obama once again reveal his sentiment that respect for the presidency means respect for me.

As if he were asleep for the treatment of presidents Johnson through Bush.

Personally, I liked GWB dodging the shoes better.

Bush: "So What If The Guy Threw a Shoe At Me?"

tim maguire said...

Woah! Tank! How'd you do that?

dreams said...

I think he is a sociopath like BJ and Hillery Clinton. I think a lot of politicians are sociopaths.

Tank said...

It's magic.

The site won't let me show how LOL.

Here it is.

The Crack Emcee said...

April Apple said...
Helping out the disadvantaged is all part of the act. It isn't real. It's all Hollywood, cult of personality, smoke and mirrors.

That's how I describe all your comments, too. And your brand of conservatism. If I'm wrong, it figures the desperate would be flocking to it, but we're not - we're rejecting it in droves.

This bit is funny, and you guys can be some of the worst sore losers I've ever seen in my life,...

tim maguire said...

Thanks, Tank. But I meant the part where you quoted me before I posted.

Ann Althouse said...

"But I meant the part where you quoted me before I posted."

Just as he was talking about Obama's "good timing." There's good timing, and there's great timing.

Brennan said...

This was funny, but only because of the ferns. Seriously though, Between Two Ferns is funny regardless of the guest.

Scott M said...

Just as he was talking about Obama's "good timing." There's good timing, and there's great timing.

Agreed wholeheartedly. People with great timing think funny.

jacksonjay said...

Cracked is right! The JFK, "Ask not..." brand of conservatism is pretty much impossible to sell today! The desperates, like Cracked, are indeed rejecting it!

Tank said...

tim maguire said...

Thanks, Tank. But I meant the part where you quoted me before I posted.


I did say it was magic.

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...
Cracked is right! The JFK, "Ask not..." brand of conservatism is pretty much impossible to sell today! The desperates, like Cracked, are indeed rejecting it!

After 400 years, haven't blacks done enough? Couldn't ask for anything before, remember?

And there were none of these complaints when the government was handing out home loans and tracts of land to whites. "Go West!" and get it - unless you were black.

That's how whites got richer than everybody else - pure racist policies - and nobody sees anything wrong with that, or feels a need to rectify the injustice, or the imbalance.

It's a very strange way to look at this country, where whites get everything and former slaves - the people openly denied everything by them - are moochers.

"Help" them? Better to harass us for the state whites put us in,...

The Crack Emcee said...

RecChief said...
"What's it like being the last black president?"

hahahahaha. what a question


In a racist country? Yeah, hilarious,...

Bob Boyd said...

If Obama really cared about young people he would have done a keg stand in pajamas.

jacksonjay said...

I hereby apologize for priming the Crack! Gees, it is the same old rant, every day!

BTW, most of the desperates are not black! Desperates is a good description!

Tank said...



jacksonjay said...

I hereby apologize for priming the Crack! Gees, it is the same old rant, every day!


Too late, you're going to hell.

eric said...

I was wondering the same thing.

Maybe Althouse did some magic to rearrange the comment section.

Clever.

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...
I hereby apologize for priming the Crack! Gees, it is the same old rant, every day!

BTW, most of the desperates are not black! Desperates is a good description!


But the rest of them didn't get held back by law.

jacksonjay said...


Would you settle for 40 acres and a mule?

madAsHell said...

Tank!!

Can we talk lottery numbers??

RecChief said...

what kind of person sees racism everywhere? It might reveal something about that person.

Clyde said...

"Between Two Ferns," huh? I'd have to rate the intelligence of the participants as Fern #1, Fern #2, Galifinakias (sp?), Obama.

It's not easy being green.

Clyde said...

Blogger RecChief said...
"What's it like being the last black president?"

hahahahaha. what a question


Not really. Why do you think black folks voted for him en masse? It's because they realized that if he's viewed by history as a screwup (and he will be), then it will be another 230 years before another black person will be elected, because he made them look bad.

RecChief said...

Clyde said...
Blogger RecChief said...
"What's it like being the last black president?"

hahahahaha. what a question

"Not really. Why do you think black folks voted for him en masse? It's because they realized that if he's viewed by history as a screwup (and he will be), then it will be another 230 years before another black person will be elected, because he made them look bad."

I think your analysis is spot on. I chose that quote for a specific reason.

Not sure how he will be a screwup with the left rewriting history, but it explains why so many people have closed ranks and feel they have to protect him, no matter what he does. A good argument for keeping "content of their character, and not the color of their skin" in mind when entering a voting booth.

Michael K said...

I watched it and Obama is pretty good at that sort of repartee. I'm pretty happy that he is so incompetent at governing. Imagine of he was another LBJ. We would really be in deep shit.

Oh, we are anyway.

RecChief said...

But the left doesn't have any problem going after a black man who worked his way up to head a business. Amazing that all the talk of Herman Cain's alleged sex crimes went away when he dropped out of the race, huh? I'm not sure I would voted for him, because we never got to see all his policies beyong the 9-9-9 plan, but at least he stood/stands for free enterprise.

The Crack Emcee said...

RecChief said...
what kind of person sees racism everywhere? It might reveal something about that person.


Yeah, unlike you, we're students of history.

You, on the other hand, are called ignorant.

The first one is the good one,...

Brando said...

If he was such a good actor more people would support him. These days any president can get half the country behind him simply by having a D or R after his name. It'll be interesting if we ever get a leader with solid and sustained majority support.

eric said...

""Not really. Why do you think black folks voted for him en masse? It's because they realized that if he's viewed by history as a screwup (and he will be), then it will be another 230 years before another black person will be elected, because he made them look bad."

If it turns out people learn it's stupid to vote for someone based on the color of their skin, then our current President has taught this country a valuable lesson.

On the other hand, if it turns out he convinces people that those with darker skin color are all as stupid as he is, then he will have done a great disservice to our nation as a whole.

Let's hope the first lesson is learned and not the second.

eric said...

"If he was such a good actor more people would support him. These days any president can get half the country behind him simply by having a D or R after his name. It'll be interesting if we ever get a leader with solid and sustained majority support."

I think this is absolutely incorrect.

If you have a D next to your name, probably. But an R? I think Republicans are more likely to abandon and be critical of a fellow Republican than Democrats are of their own.

Thus the constant stories of Republican infighting, and a lack of such stories about Democrats. Democrats are like lemmings, independent thought isn't their strong suit.

The Crack Emcee said...

I love how you guys pay no respect to history but think your analysis is correct.

Just getting into the office, with the likes of you guys around, means history will be kind.

Historians don't wear your blinders,...

Dr Weevil said...

"Student of history" Crack keeps calling others ignorant while insisting that (a) white Americans got rich from the Homestead Act, and (b) black Americans are poor because they were excluded from its benefits: "when the government was handing out home loans and tracts of land to whites. 'Go West!' and get it - unless you were black".

Neither of these assertions is true. This page, for instance, has a great deal of information on both topics: ctrl-F on "Kansas" to get an account of black homesteading, with pictures. The fact is that blacks were not excluded under the Homestead Act, though former Confederate soldiers were. And a huge percentage of homesteaders gave up and went back home, because free land isn't such a great deal when it's arid and in the middle of nowhere.

MadisonMa'am said...

Same white men and an occasional white woman being racists. Yawn.

AJ Lynch said...

It's good to see our nitiwit Presidnet has so much free time on his hands.

MikeDC said...

Of course Obama is an actor, but I find it exceedingly odd that he would do this show.

Generally speaking, Americans want their president to look Presidential. You can do that and be funny too, I think, but Obama fails at it and generally I was laughing at him, not with him.

damikesc said...

I bet Zach is tossing out that horrible SAG health care plan for the glory that is Obamacare.

Somebody should ask.

After 400 years, haven't blacks done enough?

No. Thanks for asking.

That's how whites got richer than everybody else - pure racist policies - and nobody sees anything wrong with that, or feels a need to rectify the injustice, or the imbalance.

Pretty much, yes. Your crying to the wrong people. The people who might give a shit left long ago.

Hint: You weren't a slave. Nobody here passed or managed the Homestead Act.

RecChief said...

"Yeah, unlike you, we're students of history."

hahahahahahahaha
he derisively laughed

RecChief said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chef Mojo said...

Funny or Die?

Well, it wasn't funny...

RecChief said...

"On the other hand, if it turns out he convinces people that those with darker skin color are all as stupid as he is, then he will have done a great disservice to our nation as a whole."

I agree, I think it is a mistake to think him stupid. He's obviously not, no matter what some people might say.

His problem is not because of the color of his skin, but the ideology that he is immersed in.

The Crack Emcee said...

Dr Weevil,

Neither of these assertions is true.


Bullshit. The vast majority of blacks were excluded.

Or are you going to suggest racism didn't exist here in 1945?

Dr Weevil said...

So Crack doesn't even have to grace to admit that blacks were not in fact legally excluded from the benefits of the Homestead Act, and that said benefits made very few whites rich.

Whatever - he's just another lying troll who refuses to argue honestly.

RecChief said...

"Whatever - he's just another lying troll who refuses to argue honestly."

I don't know about lying, but the rest seems true. He doesn't seem to want to change anyone's mind, given his style of "debate", nor does he seem open to the possibility that he could be wrong. And that, in general is why it is difficult to have a "discussion" about race in this country. Too often it comes down to a lecture, as in "Here white guy, that I know nothing about, let me tell you why you're evil" and if you don't fall into line, you're called "stupid", "moron", "racist" and worse.

Kansas City said...

I thought it was funny and President Obama did well (especialy for an amateur - altough he like all successful politicians is a good actor). What struck me is why would he do it? It almost certainly will make no discernable impact on Obamacare sign ups. It make the Preseident look small to the poin of embarassment. Why does he do that type of stuff?

lthough I have come to the point that Obama playing golf, doing fundraisers, making speeched, hobnobbing with Hollywood and doing this type of silliness is fine. It keeps him away from real duties and screwing things up even more.

The Crack Emcee said...

RecChief said...
"Whatever - he's just another lying troll who refuses to argue honestly."

I don't know about lying, but the rest seems true. He doesn't seem to want to change anyone's mind, given his style of "debate", nor does he seem open to the possibility that he could be wrong. And that, in general is why it is difficult to have a "discussion" about race in this country.


Because blacks have ALWAYS BEEN WRONG to whites.

Why you guys don't get that is a mystery. You are no different from whites throughout history. You are the reason for the marches, protests - al of it.

You are products of a racist system, still upholding it, no different than before,...

damikesc said...

Funny or Die?

Well, it wasn't funny...


Then their perfect streak continues...

He's obviously not, no matter what some people might say.

I'll argue that he is not nearly as bright as we've been sold.

Nobody can make as many completely idiotic decisions (and ones that are blatantly idiotic at the time he makes them) and still be called "smart".

jacksonjay said...


Just like Barry's beloved grandma. The one who raised him when his beloved mom didn't want him! The "typical white woman" that gave him the private school education!

Or maybe that evil white guys named William Lloyd Garrison or William Wilberforce or oh, never mind!

jacksonjay said...


That's some history, Cracked.

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...

That's some history, Cracked.


What? You think blacks came back from WWII to open arms?

You guys are loopy,...

The Crack Emcee said...

Really, if this is the "education" whites get, then I'm REALLY GLAD I'm black because I'd be embarrassed to be that ignorant.

I don't even know too many blacks who are,...

jacksonjay said...


Yep, you're right, WWII was the beginning of history!

jacksonjay said...

So, how did you get so "educated" in such a racist system, being so desperate and all? And, how did those of us with all this white privilege ended so damn stupid?

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...
So, how did you get so "educated" in such a racist system, being so desperate and all? And, how did those of us with all this white privilege ended so damn stupid?


Black families tell each generation what happened - the stuff whites leave out in school. Whites get Cripus Attacks and MLK, blacks get everything.

The Crack Emcee said...

Jacksonjay,

WATCH THIS

jacksonjay said...


I will watch it. I just wonder if I am smart enough to understand it, being all white, racist and uneducated!

You didn't learn about the Abolitionist Movement?

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...

I will watch it. I just wonder if I am smart enough to understand it, being all white, racist and uneducated!

You didn't learn about the Abolitionist Movement?

Of course I did. I told you, blacks get ALL OF IT. That's why, when whites try to conflate it all as the same (whites dying in the civil war, etc.) I know better.

The Crack Emcee said...

Whoo-hoo!!!!

I've got health insurance!!!!!!

damikesc said...

Whites get Cripus Attacks

Who in the blue hell is Cripus Attacks?

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay,

I will watch it. I just wonder if I am smart enough to understand it, being all white, racist and uneducated!


Come on, don't be that way. Being stupid is speaking from ignorance, which can be changed with education.

Plus, do you know what it's like to be here for me?

IT'S LIKE THIS.

The Crack Emcee said...

damikesc said...
Whites get Cripus Attacks

Who in the blue hell is Cripus Attacks?


The first person to die in the Revolutionary War.

Chef Mojo said...

Oh. You must mean Crispus Attucks.

jacksonjay said...

So Crack, we agree that if you want to educate and enlighten, you can't alienate the audience. Yeah, I did sense the RAGE!

Your video was good! Mostly agree! But, most white people today, will never feel like the oppressor! Insisting that we ARE racist and oppressive will not convince us.
Walk the halls of any high school in America. Black kids do not feel oppressed! They are learning about Benjamin Banneker, Fredrick Douglas, Sojourner Truth, WEB Du Bois, and Jackie Robinson. In Texas they learn about Estabanico and Juan Seguin.

If we all tone down the bullshit and try to talk to each other, ... maybe?

The Crack Emcee said...

Chef Mojo said...
Oh. You must mean Crispus Attucks.


Spell check. Sorry.

Dr Weevil said...

The first person to die in the Revolutionary War was Crispus Attucks. Is the double missprelling a Freudian slip? Someone who "Attacks" white people all the time and fantasizes about other blacks (maybe "Crips") beating or lynching whites might naturally turn "Crispus" into "Cripus" and "Attucks" into "Attacks".

By the way, "Crispus" is Latin for curly-haired. Whoever named him seems to have had a sense of humor.

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...
So Crack, we agree that if you want to educate and enlighten, you can't alienate the audience. Yeah, I did sense the RAGE!

I never said that. Blacks aren't worried about alienating whites - we're alienated already.

Your video was good! Mostly agree! But, most white people today, will never feel like the oppressor! Insisting that we ARE racist and oppressive will not convince us.


Tough - that's why it's called "the struggle" - white's fight it every step of the way.

"Walk the halls of any high school in America. Black kids do not feel oppressed! They are learning about Benjamin Banneker, Fredrick Douglas, Sojourner Truth, WEB Du Bois, and Jackie Robinson. In Texas they learn about Estabanico and Juan Seguin."


But slavery's still a mystery. That's where family steps in, filling in the "cracks" in the story. The Civil Rights Movement isn't about MLK and the other big names, but about the millions of little people who, like me, toiled alone or in isolated places, doing the work.

"If we all tone down the bullshit and try to talk to each other, ... maybe?"

Nope - it's always been this way. Whites are coming around, slowly, but it's always too slow, and with a LOT of fighting, and people getting killed.

Until whites change their attitude, it will be this way because blacks aren't stopping until justice comes to this land.

jacksonjay said...

Of course I did. I told you, blacks get ALL OF IT. That's why, when whites try to conflate it all as the same (whites dying in the civil war, etc.) I know better.

To deny the noble acts and deeds of whites throughout history is ignorance, Crack. Some whites are heroic and some whites are evil! That ain't conflating! Madelyn Dunham was a noble woman!

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...
Your video was good! Mostly agree! But, most white people today, will never feel like the oppressor! Insisting that we ARE racist and oppressive will not convince us.


Did you hear the white guy explaining how "colorblind" is twisted to enforce racism?

Larry Nelson said...



EDH said...
Personally, I liked GWB dodging the shoes better



That video clip of GWB has to be one of the great moments in presidential history (at least the way presidential moments are measured by today's standards...which means Hollywood standards).
GWB showed great reflex's at a moment's notice. GWB also threw out a pretty damn good first pitch.
BHO obviously hasn't played much baseball, bowling or umbrella, but he handles himself fairly well on the basketball court.

So BHO has practiced basketball quite a bit in the past, I just wonder where GWB practiced dodge the shoe in the past.

The great thing about athletics is that acting will expose you. That's why I find it funny that John Kerry, the ultimate phony poser, throws a football like a girl.

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay,

"To deny the noble acts and deeds of whites throughout history is ignorance, Crack. Some whites are heroic and some whites are evil! That ain't conflating! Madelyn Dunham was a noble woman!"

I didn't deny anything, but there's never been enough. And whites are fickle. 12 years after the Civil War they completely abandoned the blacks they freed and then started writing laws to keep blacks "in their place".

That's not noble.

CWJ said...

"Who in the blue hell is Cripus Attacks?"

In response to this question, The Crack Emcee replied,

"The first person to die in the Revolutionary War."

Four other colonists died in that one volley that day. Who's to say which one stopped breathing first? Crack, you're as wedded to your own mythology as anyone else.

The Crack Emcee said...

Right now, one of the best white spokesmen for anti-racism is a white guy - Tim Wise.

Y'all should study his shit - we blacks love him.

The Crack Emcee said...

CWJ said...
"Who in the blue hell is Cripus Attacks?"

In response to this question, The Crack Emcee replied,

"The first person to die in the Revolutionary War."

Four other colonists died in that one volley that day. Who's to say which one stopped breathing first? Crack, you're as wedded to your own mythology as anyone else.


You act like I wrote our history. You got a problem with the order of deaths? Write a book.

jacksonjay said...


Crack said:
Come on, don't be that way. Being stupid is speaking from ignorance, which can be changed with education.

I misunderstood this comment. I thought you were trying to be reasonable.


But slavery's still a mystery.

Crack, you're delusional! The whereabouts of the Malaysian airliner is a mystery. School kids get a very heavy dose of slavery! They understand slavery!

jacksonjay said...


Tim Wise, yeah don't think so! I have studied his shit! Not buying!

CWJ said...

Apparently I hit a nerve.

No Crack, just making an observation that we all have our myths. It's one reason why I'm slow to call anyone else dumb or ignorant.

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay,

"Crack, you're delusional! The whereabouts of the Malaysian airliner is a mystery. School kids get a very heavy dose of slavery! They understand slavery!"


Then why is 12 Years a Slave the first movie to kinda show it?

And are you seriously going to tell me what my own family is told in school? Black kids come home and say their teachers are idiots.

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...

Tim Wise, yeah don't think so! I have studied his shit! Not buying!


That's what they said about MLK when he was alive, too.

Whatev. Stay ignorant.

Larry Nelson said...

Jerry Ford had a reputation as a stumble bum, but in actuality, he may have been the most athletic of all presidents.
Teddy Roosevelt was known to be a rugged outdoorsman, so quit athletic by the standards of his day.
So in the movie "Air Force One", which president would be most likely to really perform the way Harrison Ford acted?
Which president is considered the most unathletic nerd? who would play that president?

Larry Nelson said...

OK, I admit it. I am trying to be a troll and hijack this thread onto a subject of actors, presidents and pop culture.

Larry Nelson said...

If Bill Clinton was the first black president, who would play him in a Hollywood movie?

If Barak Obama is the first female president, who would play him in a Hollywood movie?

Who is going to be the first gay president?

Will we ever have a transgender president?

Which party will the first polygamist president come from?

Larry Nelson said...

All of the above questions I posed are very serious considerations for progressive policy wonks. It's all about the facade.
It's all about the selling of the president. Quit different than in Richard Nixon's day.

jacksonjay said...


Keep struggling Crack! But beware, the hate is very corrosive!

CWJ said...

Larry, well done.

In order, Will Smith, Meryl Streep (Because its always Meryl Streep), Nathan Lane, Hillary Clinton, R.

CWJ said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
jacksonjay said...


I'm always confused by the timid, why don't you just go away!

The Crack Emcee said...

jacksonjay said...

Keep struggling Crack! But beware, the hate is very corrosive!

There's no hate (again - a white idea of civil rights work - isn't that weird?)

Doing the right thing is reframed as "hate"

No wonder MLK is dead.

Larry Nelson said...

CWJ,
Excellent job, you may be the casting director.



Supposedly, the first president who artificially colored his hair was Ronald Reagan.

Who will be the first president with paralyzed facial muscles from botox injections?

Who will be the first president with a nose job?

Who will be the first president with breast enhancement?

Who will be the first president with penile implants? (That may be important in some future reality)

Who will be the first president who markets and sells presidential urine?

These are all questions that would be important considerations in our future idiocracy.

CWJ said...

Larry, Same answers. Come on, we need some fresh questions.

EMD said...

Crack-

Any comment on Roots?

"It received unprecedented Nielsen ratings for the finale, which still holds a record as the third-highest-rated US television program"

The Crack Emcee said...

EMD said...
Crack-

Any comment on Roots?

"It received unprecedented Nielsen ratings for the finale, which still holds a record as the third-highest-rated US television program"


Yeah, but even 12 Years doesn't capture the realty. The sheer insanity of it. The massive mental illness and depravity. I've never seen anything that captures the world of slavery I read about in the original texts.

We've still got a long way to go on this one,...

damikesc said...

The first person to die in the Revolutionary War.

I've heard of CRISPUS attucks, not this Cripus Attacks fella you seem obsessed with.

I'd have assumed a typo or you being an idiot, but clearly, neither are an option.

You act like I wrote our history

Well, you invented Cripus Attacks out of thin air.

Larry Nelson said...

How about Meryl Streep
...complete with hair coloring, subtle nose job, not too much botox, tastefully done breast enhancement...
pretending to be a man with a new penile implant, who cross dress's as a woman to win the 2048 presidential election by taking the GLT(I forget what the other letter is)vote in a futuristic movie that is such a hit that she actually runs for office on the same platform in 2016?

The Crack Emcee said...

damikesc,

You invented Cripus Attacks out of thin air.


And you don't understand typing mistakes or automatic spell check corrections.

First one of the day:

Moron.

Birkel said...

Where's my one square mile?

RecChief said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cubanbob said...

I thought it was funny and President Obama did well (especialy for an amateur - altough he like all successful politicians is a good actor). What struck me is why would he do it? It almost certainly will make no discernable impact on Obamacare sign ups. It make the Preseident look small to the poin of embarassment. Why does he do that type of stuff?"

KC I agree. Everyone here who has ever bothered to read my posts knows I'm no fan of the president. That said I find it demeaning to the man and the office to do this kind of shtick. A president shouldn't have to appear on a show where the host asks such demeaning questions. He's the president of the USA, not some actor doing some PR stunt.

Birkel said...

cubanbob:
"He's the president of the USA, not some actor doing some PR stunt."

Me:
You missed the word "supposed to be" in at least one place.

oleh said...

In Russia fern fork you.

oleh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chickenlittle said...

C'mon, it's not like a POTUS ever did self deprecating televised humor: link

Marty Keller said...

My favorite Crack tell: addressing people as "you guys" as if there is some kind of monolithic groupthink among the Althousoisie wealthy, bored,or thick-skinned enough to waste time commenting on his stuff. Isn't the assumption that all people of a particular group have the exact same characteristics, you know, racist or something? The world we see outside reflects the one we've created inside. You guys.

RecChief said...

exactly what I was thinking Chickenlittle.

Annie said...

Crack, that was the democrat party who wrote laws to keep blacks in their place. The republicans passed civil rights laws and the democrats passed them right back out when they regained power. They passed Jim Crow and they formed the KKK. Up to a third of those lynched by said group, were white...for supporting/helping blacks.

Fast forward. Johnson wasn't lying when he said he would have blacks voting democrat for 200 years. His policies have destroyed the black family and are well on their way destroying society in general.

Instead of pointing the finger at whitey, throw off the democrat chains of government is daddy, and help heal the family unit. Fathers in the home = successful children.


The Crack Emcee said...

Annie,

Instead of pointing the finger at whitey, throw off the democrat chains of government is daddy, and help heal the family unit. Fathers in the home = successful children.


I like that:

"Don't listen to MLK and your friends and family, listen to me and the fools who antagonize you and yours!"

Try again.

BTW - explaining the history of the country (which I'm well aware of better than most here) and when most of you know NOTHING of black American history but the broad outlines, is a losing - and patronizing - strategy.

Until Republicans learn how to talk to black people without A) telling us what we already know, and B) sounding like you think we're idiots, the GOP ain't going anywhere with us.

Or, rather, we ain't going with them,...

The Crack Emcee said...

Oh, and Annie:

That white Republicans forget blacks got rid of overt racism - with the government - makes your insulting talk of "democrat chains" and "government is daddy" makes you sound like an idiot, and a racist, at the same time.

What? YOU know what blacks need better than blacks? Tell me, when was the last time YOU did anything that blacks want? But we're supposed to listen, to whites, like that would be a change from slavery - to whites?

You guys are silly in your ignorance of this relationship,...

damikesc said...

Crack, you are perfect and know far more than whites. You tel us this regularly.

You got BOTH names wrong. Unless you want to argue that "they all look the same to me", that wasnt a typo. That was you not knowing what the heck you are talking about.

The Crack Emcee said...

damikesc,

You got BOTH names wrong. Unless you want to argue that "they all look the same to me", that wasnt a typo. That was you not knowing what the heck you are talking about.


Like a white guy, believing what he wants in the face of an explanation, is anything new.

And you wonder why blacks hate you?

Wonder no more,...

The Crack Emcee said...

You know, I'm figuring out what the next stage of my life will be, and you guys are really going to hate it.

The evil white people I mean.

The rest of you - watch out - it's going to be fun!

chickenlittle said...

You know, I'm figuring out what the next stage of my life will be, and you guys are really going to hate it.

I'm cheered to read that life is a stage for you, Crack because you flat out suck as an actor.

damikesc said...

Like a white guy, believing what he wants in the face of an explanation, is anything new.

Hey, I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt in arguing that you invented somebody rather than being a moron who doesn't know what he's talking about.

I knew who Crispus Attucks was. You, CLEARLY, did not since you misspelled both of his names. One of his names is excusable. BOTH is a bit much.

And you wonder why blacks hate you?

So, ALL blacks hate me?

Intriguing.

I'm glad you have the power to speak for all of them.

Mighty self-absorbed, aren't ya?

Is there anything else all blacks think or feel? I mean, since you are the God of the black folk, I'm intrigued.

And isn't there something especially dehumanizing about claiming that an entire group believes the same thing?

I'd think so...but, hey, I'm a white guy. It's probably more moral and ethical to have lockstep conformity in thought.

You know, I'm figuring out what the next stage of my life will be, and you guys are really going to hate it.

Will it involve MORE terrible posting and crap music?

And you seem to confuse hatred for apathy.

The Crack Emcee said...

Say what you will. At least I've had a career, been called a genius, had thousands read my writings and buy my CDs and fucked more women than most of you have met.

What have you done?

The Crack Emcee said...

Oh yeah - you launch anonymous criticisms.


Big Men.

EMD said...

Yeah, but even 12 Years doesn't capture the realty. The sheer insanity of it. The massive mental illness and depravity. I've never seen anything that captures the world of slavery I read about in the original texts.

We've still got a long way to go on this one,...


Currently listening to The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass. There's a biopic I'd really like to see brought to life.

I suppose he was 'fortunate' enough to be in Maryland, where escape was more of a real possibility than those in the deep South. There was the persistent fear in the air he would end up there. Interesting to note he had to ride in the "Jim Crow" cars on the train in Massachusetts in the 1840s. Until he resisted, of course.

I think what you're missing in 12 Years is that it's a personal story. It's not inclusive of the scale or magnitude of the slave trade in any way. It's just one man's story that doesn't calculate the entirety of the insane operation. That's no fault of the filmmakers or Simon Northrup.

What we could use for cultural documentation is a sprawling miniseries (akin to North and South) told from the slave perspective (Roots was still mostly taken from one man's perspective.)

Rusty said...

The Crack Emcee said...
Say what you will. At least I've had a career, been called a genius, had thousands read my writings and buy my CDs and fucked more women than most of you have met.

What have you done?



You and every other internet loser.

The Crack Emcee said...

EMD,

"Currently listening to The Life and Times of Frederick Douglass. There's a biopic I'd really like to see brought to life."

Same here.

"I suppose he was 'fortunate' enough to be in Maryland, where escape was more of a real possibility than those in the deep South. There was the persistent fear in the air he would end up there. Interesting to note he had to ride in the "Jim Crow" cars on the train in Massachusetts in the 1840s. Until he resisted, of course."

Yep. Being "sold down the river" (isn't it strange, the sayings we still use, but get from slavery?) was the worst thing a slave could imagine.

"I think what you're missing in 12 Years is that it's a personal story. It's not inclusive of the scale or magnitude of the slave trade in any way. It's just one man's story that doesn't calculate the entirety of the insane operation. That's no fault of the filmmakers or Simon Northrup."

No, for me, it's the difference between watching a cowboy picture, of John Wayne's era, and "Deadwood". We still haven't gotten to "Deadwood" when this subject matter deserves it.

"What we could use for cultural documentation is a sprawling miniseries (akin to North and South) told from the slave perspective (Roots was still mostly taken from one man's perspective.)"

It's coming. I'm hearing of all kinds of projects in the works. Personally, I want Harriet Tubman's story to get the serious treatment it deserves. That's the "field negro" story no one can ignore.

It'll be a start for giving the black Americans in our ghettos their due,...

The Crack Emcee said...

Rusty ,

You and every other internet loser.


If you dick stays as limp as that comment, I know why white women seek black guys.

damikesc said...

EMD, to be technical, "Roots" wasn't real at all...if one goes by the plagiarism suit the author had to settle out of court. Ironically, Haley plagiarized the novel of a white guy.

As far as Crack's huge success, it has brought him to this: whining at commenters on a message board. I may not now what genius looks like...but I bet this is not how it looks.

The Crack Emcee said...

damikesc,

I may not now what genius looks like...but I bet this is not how it looks.

Then you don't know shit - look up Van Gogh and tell me an artist's life of genius is filled with riches.

Like I said, you're stupid.

Rusty said...

Mall ninja Crack. Proving my point with every post.

Go get em, killer.

chickenlittle said...

Crack said...Then you don't know shit - look up Van Gogh and tell me an artist's life of genius is filled with riches.

Don't be going all "Holyfielder than thou" on us, Crack.

damikesc said...

Then you don't know shit

...says the guy who invented the first person killed in the American Revolution.

look up Van Gogh and tell me an artist's life of genius is filled with riches.

Who's saying you have to be rich.

All we have here is you regaling us with:

1) How talented you are
2) How awesome you are with the ladies
3) How smart you are.

Funny thing is, anybody who is legitimately ANY of the three doesn't need to TELL others about their prowess.

People already know.

Does Hawking wheel around saying "Dude, I'm a fucking genius"? Nah...because everybody ALREADY knows and it's obvious when he communicates

Does anybody --- heck, let's say Usher --- have to tell people "You know, I have talent"? No, because people kind of notice it.

Does Derek Jeter have to brag about how many women he's nailed? Nah, people already know.

Keep espousing your awesomeness. None of US will buy it, but someday, YOU might do so.

*drops mic*

The Crack Emcee said...

damikesc,

People already know.


Online. Sure.

You're stupid.

Creative fearlessness and DIY certainty mark the greatest achievements of the Bay Area's music makers, regardless of genre and regardless of whether their moment has passed. The Broun Fellinis, back when the Crack Emcee was out in front,…

What's important is that the Crack Emcee is – and this is no joke – some kind of genius, with a gift that seemingly sparks randomly or maybe just when he feels like squeezing off a few rounds. Call him unpredictable, unwilling, or maybe, well, you know, but genius is genius, and you've got to respect it,…

Meet San Francisco's own Lewis Troy Dixon, a middle-aged rapper who happily smashes that last glass floor between hip-hopper and rock-gobbler. Not only does he readily acknowledge in his music that smoking 'base is lots of fun, but he also calls himself the Crack Emcee. And he holds his title with pride. He is crackhead, hear him roar.

But wait up -- don't go writing him off as a gimmick just yet. Dixon is a considerable musical talent,...


It seems the Crack Emcee, who first came to the Bay Area media's attention through his highly charged performances with the industrial band Consolidated, Michael Franti's old outfit the Beatnigs and SF jazz stalwarts the Broun Fellinis, is kicking up the goldust again. A recent communiqué with the critically acclaimed writer/rapper/producer revealed that he will soon add actor to that list. Look for Crack in a new Levi's commercial playing a schoolteacher in a "Malcolm X-inspired" spot. Now don't hold him responsible for single-handedly resurrecting the company or anything 'cause, with a deal to produce hip-hop and rock acts for rockabilly great Robert Gordon's Llist Records and a part ownership in 52TV (a streaming video site for independent artists), our friend CE has plenty else on his plate.,…

Now - come back and tell me you doubt it. The genius, the girls, or anything else.

But, even better, come back and show me YOURS.

I know what you're going to do:

Either try to change the subject or run away like a little bitch,..

The Crack Emcee said...

You guys are sociopaths.

The Crack Emcee said...

Here's a commercial I worked on.

What?

Birkel said...

The Crack Emcee is rotting on the inside.

I feel vaguely sad for him.

He's pathetic.

damikesc said...

Now - come back and tell me you doubt it. The genius, the girls, or anything else.

You're full of shit, Cracks. Sorry.

Want to know HOW I know?

Because MY opinion bugs you so.

But, even better, come back and show me YOURS.

I know what you're going to do:

Either try to change the subject or run away like a little bitch,..


Note the lack of shits given by me about your opinion. I have a hard time imagining anything that means LESS to me than the opinion of a hack without a discernible iota of writing ability or worthwhile intellect.

Contrast it with you and your pathetic whining.

"Genius".

The Crack Emcee said...

You. Have. Nothing.

And your little bitch, Birkel, too,...

damikesc said...

Speaking of nothing, ANOTHER crack post...

The Crack Emcee said...

damikesc said...
Speaking of nothing, ANOTHER crack post…


See? Changed the subject, just like I said,...

damikesc said...

*yawn*

You are such a bore. You can't change topics when the other party can't craft an idea into anything coherent enough to be labeled a topic.