February 1, 2014

"The reason I’m leaving Congress."

By Henry Waxman.

An actual article by Henry Waxman, but it feels like a set-up for a joke.

Please tell the joke.

65 comments:

Bob Ellison said...

In Russia, Congress leaves you!

Fandor said...

"I've toed the party line, made my millions, so now it's time for the next hack in line to get his just desserts".

Bob Ellison said...

I got tired of Pelosi asking me to wax her board.

David said...

No more Congress. I have performance issues.

Cliff said...

Wax on. Wax off.

YoungHegelian said...

I announced this past week that I will be retiring after having the honor of serving my Los Angeles constituents in Congress for 40 years.

Nobody should be in a elected office for forty years!

If one wants a truly "diverse" governing class, than one way to move towards that goal is to rotate lots of different candidates in & out of that governing class.

I think liberals, of all people, are waaaay too tolerant of the political dynasties & dinosaurs among them.

elkh1 said...

"When my colleague Rep. Jan Schakowsky (D-Ill.) offered a simple amendment affirming that climate change is real, they voted against that, too."

We need Congress to affirm reality.

Has anyone offered a simple amendment affirming that the sun rises in the east is real yet?

Rob said...

For someone like me who flourishes in the adoring gaze of TV cameras, losing my committee chairmanship has been a form of Hell. You rubes have no idea how I've suffered.

Bob Ellison said...

You try sitting next to Paul Ryan after his work-out.

Bob Ellison said...

The axlotls are saved. My work here is done.

Revenant said...

I wish they would stop including his picture in stories about him.

chickenlittle said...

I wonder if he's posed for Madame Tussauds Hollywood yet...

Bob Ellison said...

After forty years, you get free lifetime churros at Del Taco, but if you go forty-one, it's just McRibs.

SteveR said...

"That kind of mindless denial of science is an embarrassment."

Hagar said...

The roof is going to fall in on us during the next session, and I am getting out while the getting is good.

Bob Boyd said...

A good Congressman nose when its time to go.

Browndog said...

My personal belief, is that they know what they did. The Democratics.

They see the Red Storm that is Obamacare on the horizon;which wasn't designed to appear long after their retirement, and the motes dug around their castles.

You have to break a lot of eggs--sometimes millions-- to make a marxist, utopian omelet. The problem with America, is the eggs are armed. 2 years of rage from watching your loved one die because they cannot get treatment (but, hey they're covered!) leads to an inevitable conclusion.

Yes, the one's bailing had a hand, and know what they've done. The rest--stupid, apathetic, or true believers that they are untouchable like Pelosi will ride it out.

Bob R said...

Henry Waxman is, of course, the joke. If you pass a law saying that "climate change is real" and the climate stays the same for a couple of years, who do you send to arrest the climate.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Now I can 'finally' get that nose job.

Browndog said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim said...

Here's one for you 19 for me, cause I'm the Waxman, yeah the Waxman.

Michael K said...

"Blogger Revenant said...
I wish they would stop including his picture in stories about him."

At least they could stop aiming the camera from below. Cyrano had better lines about his nose.

"In an aggressive tone: "Sir, if I had a nose like that, I would amputate it!"

Friendly: "When you drink from a cup your nose must get wet. Why don't you drink from a bowl?"

Descriptive: "Tis a rock! A peak! A cape! No, it's a peninsula!"

Curious: "What is that large container for? To hold your pens and ink?"

Gracious: "How kind you are. You love the little birds so much you have given them a perch to roost upon."

Truculent: "When you light your pipe and puff smoke from your nose the neighbors must think the chimney's afire."

Considerate: "Be careful when you bow your head or you might lose your balance and fall over."

Thoughtful: "Place an umbrella over your nose to keep its color from fading in the sun."

Arcane: "Sir, only the beast that Aristophanes calls the hippocampelephantocamelos could have had such a solid lump of flesh and bone below its forehead."

Cavalier: "A hook to hang your hat upon."

and more.

Bob Ellison said...

Funny you should ask. I once asked Larry Craig why he left the men's room, and he just looked at me funny. Kinda like you're looking.

Bob Ellison said...

The real question is: why did I come here in the first place?

Illuninati said...

Some of the things on Waxman's list seem laudable and are worth bragging about. But, I didn't see him bragging about the HIPPA laws on his resume. Why isn't he bragging about them? Criminalizing the normal flow of medical information is a major accomplishment.

rcocean said...

Waxman was always a tool of Big Hollywood, Big Media, and the big banks. He was also an insufferable left-wing prig - always sure he 100% correct and anyone who disagreed evil or stupid.

He won't be missed.

rcocean said...

I'll give this to Democrats, they don't let "Lookism" effect who they vote for. Next to Al Franken, Waxman has to be the ugliest Congressman/Senator.

gadfly said...

Everything happens for a reason. But sometimes the reason is that you are stupid and you make bad decisions.

SteveR said...

Good freakin' riddance. Miller and Moran too. Three stooges but obviously not the Three Stooges

Scott said...

I don't see the joke. I'm just glad Waxman is leaving.

Ron said...

He's lost the Mr. Miyagi vote, so it's.....wax off!

SteveR said...

Its going to be hard to top Jim. yeah the Waxman

madAsHell said...

Curious.
He ran un-opposed in 2008, and received over 250,000 votes. The most votes he received during his 40 year history.

Titus said...

We hate him.

The Ryan White law is pretty cool.

Henry said...

Wax off.

nonapod said...

Perhaps he's accepting a roll in the next Hobbit movie? The dude kinda looks like a creature constructed at Weta Workshop.

Browndog said...


The Ryan White law is pretty cool.


Yea. Pretty cool. Pretty cool that the government has to write more convoluted laws and regulations because fudge packers don't have enough self-control to keep their deadly disease from spreading throughout the rest of the population.

Next thing you know, we'll need another convoluted law that mandates first responders administer aid when someone collapses from a heart attack outside a firehouse while their family begs and screams for help.

For those curious, the Ryan White Law (new and improved) is here:

http://www.gpo.gov/fdsys/pkg/PLAW-111publ87/html/PLAW-111publ87.htm

The law that says a 1st responder is not required to come to the aid of someone who's death is imminent, is found somewhere in a union contract.

R. Chatt said...

It's time to grow up and get a real job.

traditionalguy said...

Waxman got away with it. That is an achievement of sorts.

He stayed on message through it all. He is a Hero' of the Peoples Republic.

rcocean said...

Actually Waxman IS the punchline.

The Godfather said...

Althouse, you already used the punch line in an earlier post: That's not funny.

FleetUSA said...

He neither knows how to change a light bulb nor cross the road.

Stuck in stupid.

Mark O said...

I have it.

Think of the set up to the Aristocrats.

John Burgess said...

Waxman is a self-telling joke.

John Burgess said...

Waxman is a self-telling joke.

AJ Lynch said...

I wish the MSM would feel it is informative and relevant to publish their retirement and pension info when these long-serving "public servants" call it quits.

dbp said...

The reason I'm leaving Congress--will not be found in the below article but after 40 years of BS, I just couldn't quit cold-turkey.

gk1 said...

This makes me think of that scene from "Network" where Peter Finch is "apologizing" for the previous night's outburst. "I guess I just ran out of bullshit".

Tyrone Slothrop said...

I used to think Waxman was the ugliest member of Congress, but I was mistaken. He's actually the ugliest human being.

EDH said...

After a battery of tests, science has determined Waxman's ultimate encore career: Human Blockhead.

It's settled science!

Irene said...

"The reason I'm leaving Congress" … is because I don't want to belong to any club that will accept me as a member.

Rich B said...

C'mon, guys. This is like shooting fish in a nostril.

FullMoon said...

Incumbent Democrats retiring leave the voters with a choice between a new Republican, or a NEW Democrat.
I think many people look forward to voting against "the incumbent" . When the incumbent is not on the ballot, that opportunity is removed.
This is how people like Sandra Fluke could actually be a contender.

Tarrou said...

Well according to the right-wing nuts at NPR, it's because he's in line for a committee chair, but the dems are due for a historic beating in the fall, so he won't get it.

Humperdink said...

Nostrile-Damus saw the future and it did not include a chairpersonship for the Waxperson.

Hammond X Gritzkofe said...

36 years too long.

Nobody gets my vote for more than two terms at any level of government: City, County, State, Federal.

zefal said...

Old congress leaches never die, we just fade into evil corporate boards, lobbying firms and living off the large pensions we voted for ourselves.

danoso said...

I'm leaving Congress to return to my home planet".

Unknown said...

The light bulbs I always used for my star chamber kleig lights are no longer available, so I must reluctantly retire.

Unknown said...

The light bulbs I always used for my star chamber kleig lights are no longer available, so I must reluctantly retire.

LarsPorsena said...

Goodbye Congress! Hello K Street!

Fen said...

Waxman, don't think that retiring changes anything. We won't forget to come for you.

Clyde said...

"Feeling the weight of impending mortality, I have decided that it is time to remove myself from public life and make penance for my sins in an effort to get right with God before the end comes."

Ha, fooled you!

Mr. D said...

chickenlittle said...
I wonder if he's posed for Madame Tussauds Hollywood yet...


My first thought.

Jim said...
Here's one for you 19 for me, cause I'm the Waxman, yeah the Waxman.


My second thought. Got here too late, I guess. Well played, both of you.

Jupiter said...


I have no interest at all in Henry Waxman's reasons, but for once I heartily agree with his decision. I just wish it was because he hasn't long to live.