December 4, 2013

#45 The Guy Who Finds Something Wrong With Every Other Person in the Restaurant.

My reaction to "The 44 Worst People in Every Restaurant."

20 comments:

ErnieG said...

If you run into an asshole first thing in the morning and everyone else is OK, then it's a good day. If you keep running into assholes all day, then you're the asshole.

Brando said...

Why is "sad solo diner" on the list of "worst"? Who is this solo diner hurting? They're not making loud noises or taking up any more than a two-top, and they're most likely to be done and paying their cheque faster than others who might sit and converse.

EDH said...

I dunno, I thought it was pretty funny.

"#45 The Guy Who Finds Something Wrong With Every Other Person in the Restaurant."

Wasn't it was a list of superlatives, a pantheon of doofuses?

"The 44 Worst People in Every Restaurant."

The Rejected Marriage Proposal
Okay, YOU could not be making everyone else more uncomfortable.


Best time I had in a restaurant was when a woman stormed out shortly after they ordered because her boyfriend didn't propose. He quickly left the money and followed after her. Then the Poo Poo Platter arrived at their empty table.

After a few minutes of watching the Sterno burn, we grabbed the platter of free food and devoured it like only a group of college-age males can.

The range of disgusted looks we got from women sitting at the same table as men giving us the thumbs up under the table was... priceless.

Matthew Sablan said...

It would've been wasted otherwise. Makes perfect sense to me. They were not coming back.

Brando said...

Many of those remind me of my rule to avoid group dinners out, because in almost every case:

1) One or many diners will rudely show up late (with some weak excuse like "parking" or "traffic" as if they never could anticipate that on a friday night in the city) making us all wait longer to get a table; and

2) Diners who fight over the cheque at the end, because someone is a communal-plate freeloader trying to get the bill split evenly or someone else is trying to do a full scale audit of the bill because someone's entree was two dollars more than everyone else's.

Exceptions can be made if the group is small enough, or we go during off-peak hours, or we're eating at a fixed price place (buffet, family style dining). Otherwise, best to skip the dinner and just meet for drinks after.

MadisonMan said...

The couple with the screaming kid who let the kid continue to scream.

The couple with the kid running around the restaurant that let the kid run around the restaurant.

The person who keeps getting up to go to the bathroom.

mrs. e said...

ErnieG, thanks for the reminder.

TosaGuy said...

Eating out is no longer special because we now do it so often, as a result, diners are no longer on their best behavior and subject themselves to trite observations on the internet.

Invite your friends over and eat out less.

Wilbur said...

This guy's had a pretty sheltered life if this is what he has to complain about.

And somebody probably paid this joker to write this crap.

David said...

Why isn't he #1?

David said...

"The Noise-Averse Old People
You do know you came to this restaurant of your own accord, right? And aren’t you supposed to actually hear less as you get older?"

I don't hear as well, but I heard that, and I can still dodder across the aisle and whisper "Fuck You" in your ear.

William said...

I'm the burger guy. There's no reason why a Thai restaurant shouldn't have burgers. They can use Thai spices or something and serve it with noodles instead of fries, but they should have a burger.

Smilin' Jack said...

"#45 The Guy Who Finds Something Wrong With Every Other Person in the Restaurant."

#46 The Woman Who Finds Something Wrong With The Guy Who Finds Something Wrong With Every Other Person in the Restaurant.

JoyD said...

Misogyny has been done to death. Why waste your reading time with this shallow talk? I skimmed a few entries, just enough to decide to exit.

elkh1 said...

Actually #45 is #1 if #1 is the worst-est.

tim maguire said...

Some of these, I'll give him. But he complains about the too quiet AND the too loud, the too casual AND the too dressed up....

Good lord, an empty room and a mirror (because he also complains about the too alone) is probably his ideal dining room.

heyboom said...

I was initially inclined to think these guys were being jerks, but at the end I think they were just being satirical. I thought it was pretty funny.

MadisonMan said...

#47: The guy who finds something wrong with the women who....

Freeman Hunt said...

The people who continually threaten their misbehaving children with consequences that never come to pass.

John Constantius said...

I'm with heyboom -- I went to this prepared to hate the writer but it was actually pretty funny/clever.