September 10, 2013

It takes big balls not to help with diaper changing and feeding and bathing the baby.

Or something like that —  according to a new and purportedly scientific study reported at BBC.com.

Be careful, ladies, about bragging to your friends about how much your man is helping with the baby. You may be unwittingly revealing that his testicles are small.

And, note, the scientists can't say which came first, the testicle size or the degree of helping with the baby. So getting the man to help might cause shrinkage of the testicles.

So men, asked to help, might beg off using a testicle-size-maintenance argument. 

27 comments:

YoungHegelian said...

"Chicks just don't know anything about shrinkage!"

66 said...

Along the same lines, it has recently been revealed that feckless forays into foreign policy lead to unbelievably small balls.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

If this study is not a shoo-in for James Taranto's recurring feature, "The Lonely Lives of Scientists," I don't know what is.

Inga said...

So, it would follow that women with large overies and higher levels of estrogen are better mothers? Eh. This study seems to be looking to prove something...like maybe excusing men from being poor fathers? I can just hear it "I can't help it if I'm an uninvolved father, I've got big balls".

Its that demon testosterone again.

Unknown said...

What ever the source of funding for that study was, it should be shamed as the shining example of waste it truly is.

And how about the poor schmuck that gets the joy of taking measurements? If this is the kind of job available, no wonder some people are dropping out of the workforce. Is this the plan for lowering unemployment?

surfed said...

Never minded changing my daughter. Ever. What I did mind was being told to in public. Swatted that down immediately. The only thing that caused cojone shrinkage was cold water (Costanza Effect) or knowing my life was in danger in which case my asshole puckered in sympathy. Which released the balls to deal with getting my life out of whatever stupidity I had placed it (surfing huge waves, mountain climbing, etc...).

BarrySanders20 said...

When the kids were tiny tots, helping the wife and allowing her to be better rested ensured that I would get more of the action that led to the tiny tots. Practice makes perfect was my mantra.

Never minded the changing or bathing. It was quite fun. Mama did the feeding though, on the boob through age 2 for all of 'em. Have no idea if my nuts shrunk from changing or bathing the kiddos, but they worked just fine until the trip to the uro left me shooting blanks. The very attractive young lady nurse shaving my nut sack sure was memorable. Maybe she should be the judge about shrinkage or expansion.

Hagar said...

I do not know about the testicles, but for me it took two toilets - one for the diapers and one to throw up in.
My ex-wives would just as soon I didn't mess with it unless absolutely necessary.

Meade said...

A godsend to those suffering from hypergonadism. Finally - a non-invasive treatment free of side effects plus the bonus of diaper rash reduction.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

If this study isn't a natural for James Taranto's "The Lonely Lives of Scientists" feature, I don't know what would be.

Kelly said...

My husband rarely if ever helped bathe, feed or diaper either of the kids. Or do the housework for that matter. He is always an early riser except when the girls were babies. He would wait for me to get up before he got out of bed. Frankly, I always thought it took to much effort to nag or argue over it.

It's worked out for him because the girls adores him. When they give speeches in class it's always about him.

Meade said...

Inga said...
"I can just hear it 'I can't help it if I'm an uninvolved father, I've got big balls'."

Just the contrary -- only men with already tiny testicles would worry about it: Can't, dear. You know what happened last time I changed a diaper. Once more and my balls will likely altogether disappear.

Broomhandle5000 said...

Mine are huge and I've changed more diapers than I can count.

Even among the most Cro-Magnon rednecks of my acquaintence changing a diaper is considered no big deal Because, among Cro-Magnon rednecks, the biggest sin is failing to do what is necessary to take care of your family. Which may explain their palpably rising contempt for African-Americam men.

damikesc said...

At the risk of giving out TMI, my testicles are abnormally large yet I help with my kids constantly.

Renee said...

"So getting the man to help might cause shrinkage of the testicles."

I've had past conversations, that available women should look for 'the dad' types, because they are more likely to be involved fathers.

But, who you look through the photographs of what men find attractive it is never 'the mom' type. I'm waiting for a photo spread with stretch marks from pregnancy showing or breasts that have bear the effects of breastfeeding a few children. Mine are not the same, my breasts 'matured' as my husband defined them.

Oh no we can't have that in men's magazines, all the women shown are so very nubile in appearance.

Those are not smaller testes, those are fully matured testes.

jimbino said...

Why do we keep promulgating nonsense about "bigger is better"? The size of brains, boobs, testicles, peckers, clits, caviar, shrimp and lobster has nothing to do with anything important.

Sunslut7 said...

Probably an estrogen vs testastrone matter. Too much estrogen the the testes wilts or so the myth maintains.*

Inga said...

As long as they still produce sperm that are long distance swimmers, who cares really? Probably not a woman. Men have too much testosterone for their own good.

;)

Rusty said...

I don't think that study is true.The best part of my day was taking care of my children. Mine own pair, for example. My testicles have been favorably compared to a rams. The girth of my erect member, I am told , is quite pleasant. My ejaculate is both copious and violent. The vast majority of my spermatozoa are swimmers.

g2loq said...

Obama is a very good father I observed

Illuninati said...

Inga said:
"Its that demon testosterone again."
and again:
"Men have too much testosterone for their own good."

One of the reasons I enjoy Inga's comments so much is because she provides a perfect window into the soul of the leftists. Here the lefts misandry is on full display. Adult men shrug off comments like this but young male children can be severely damaged by comments like this.

I suspect this cultural misandry is one reason why the inner cities in which the left holds complete sway, where young males have no positive male role models, are overflowing with young male criminals.

Inga said...

Good grief, I was kidding, Illuninati. So have rightists lost their sense of humor, or is testosterone sacred and must never be mentioned in a less than reverend way?

Inga said...

And I doubt any young males under the age of 16 read Althouse, but one never knows.

Rusty said...

There once was a man from Asizes.
With balls of varying sizes.
One was quite small.
Almost no ball at all.
But the other was large,
And won prizes.

Austin said...

(To the tune of the march in Bridge on the River Kwai)

Gordon, has only one big ball,
Kenny, has two but very small
Teddy's, are very similar
But Arnold has no balls at all

Michael Deloatch said...

No real man would let someone in a lab coat come within 10 feet of his gonads with calipers.

As I approach my 50th year I am just delighted the things are still there and working. I've never manipulated any pair but my own so I have no idea where I stand on the continuum, nor do I care.

As for those troglodytes who eschewed changing their kid's diapers. They will be sorry in senescent years when they don't know how to change their own Depends.

Illuninati said...

Inga said:
"Inga said...
Good grief, I was kidding, Illuninati. So have rightists lost their sense of humor"

Sorry I was traveling and didn't get to answer you sooner. When I was young I used to joke at other peoples expense who were working with me. After thinking about it I stopped because I realized that the people I was joking about might not appreciate the jokes but were not able to respond because they were technically subordinates.

When I was a young man the left leaning women I knew used to run around calling men "male chauvinist pigs" just because they were men. I don't know if they cared who they hurt, but I thought at the time that if they were ever in a position of power they could do a great deal of damage. Even then women may not have had so much formal power but they had tremendous social influence especially over children. Women still have considerable social power in addition to formal power, but the "jokes" which denigrate men continue. Many young boys are being raised in single parent homes without a positive male role model. The damage is evident especially evident in the inner cities where the left has succeeded in completely destroying the traditional families and most babies are born to single mothers.