June 8, 2013

"The doctors told a story of a married man who got a transplant, and whose wife had a parrot."

"They told them the parrot had to go. The wife refused. The guy caught an avian infection and died after going home. I don't know if that was premeditated or not, but the story sent home the message. So, I had all my bird stuff taken down and cleaned up, and I avoided gardening and playing in my pond for a while...."

Also: "While we are on the subject of grossity and contact with it, I have a suggestion for dog owners...."

AND: Thanks to bagoh20 for the parrot story. Click on the link for the whole thing.

28 comments:

Scott said...

I saw the headline, I thought it was a joke, I couldn't see the punchline.

Oh.

Pogo said...

Bagoh's the man.

Pogo said...

I took care of a guy who kept passing out and no one knew why, and all tests were negative.

One clue: it only occurred in the bathroom.
And later it became clear it was while brushing his teeth.

We had him bag up their bathroom stuff: Everything.

He was brushing with his wife's Nitroglycerin paste (for chest pain).

Brush brush brush brush.
Thud.

Scott said...

RE Bagoh's comment: Municipal laws have made owning a dog in the city a pleasurable pursuit only for cropophiliacs.

Pogo said...

But it was in the Munchausen patients that I made the most disgusting discoveries.

What they would inject into themselves, mostly.

Shock is no longer possible, for me.

MathMom said...

The day my husband came home with his heart transplant, they said if we had cats or dogs, we should get rid of them, but if we have birds, we MUST get rid of them, and never be around birds for the rest of his life.

If we go to someone's house and there is a bird cage in it, we stay far away from it, and don't stay long.

Scott said...

I put an extra "r" in "coprophilia". My bad. I don't use the word often.

Aridog said...

I rather like the raw meat and bones diet for dogs, at least for big dogs. However, with my preferred breed, sometimes the result is incontinence. It seems to vary between dogs and pedigrees.

With "Dera" it is exactly like Bagoh20 suggests...meat, bone, gristle, and marrow completely devoured with subsequent little chaulky white turds that have no odor. "Dera" will chew a bone, however big, until it is gone to get the marrow...and over 8 odd years it has worn her teeth down quite a bit. A full lamb femur is gone in about 90 minutes...not a trace left.

Lem said...

Bags my man... You make Tweets look like an encyclopedia.

Mitchell the Bat said...

I eat scrambled eggs every morning.

The highlight of my dog's day used to be getting to lick the plate and then the omelette pan afterwards. Funny how I never seemed very good at cleaning my plate and there was always something left in the pan.

She hasn't forgotten even though it's been over a year. She still sits proper beside my chair at the breakfast table every morning, eyes on me constantly, hoping I'll have a change of heart and do the right thing and return her love.

It's times like that I need to remind myself that she's no longer crapping yellow-brown ooze into her long, flowing, well-furred Sheltie britches.

Lem said...

Nice story telling.

Lem said...

I meant that as a compliment to Bagoh's ability to say a lot as brief as possible and with humor.

I'm green with envy ;)

Sorun said...

I once came across a fresh wolf turd in northern Minnesota. It had the curlicue shape of a big dog turd, but looked to consist of nothing but wet fur. No brown stuff.

Bob Boyd said...

A woman gets a call from the hospital telling her that her husband has been in a terrible car accident.
A doctor comes on and says he has some good news and bad news. She asks for the bad news.
The doc tells her, " Your husband's injuries are extensive. He'll be in a body cast. You'll have to feed him, bathe him, even wipe his ass for him for weeks."
The wife gasps,"Oh my God! But what's the good news?"
The doc says, "I'm only kidding. He's dead."

ricpic said...

Having been informed that exposure to birds could be fatal and not removing birds, does that constitute criminal behavior?

EDH said...

I'm scared, Barry. Nothin' specifically, but on the other hand it's like everywhere I go...Barry, you know, we’ve got...a garbage disposal in our kitchen sink. You know how that feels when you have to reach down there into that ...and put your hand around looking for a spoon? Who knows what could be down there. There’s germs you can't even see. They grow there. Salmonella, yeast, cancer, even the common cold. Who knows? But, Barry, even without all of that, what if...and I'm just sayin' what if...what if that disposal came on while your hand was down there? And it goes around and around…Well, it's not just the garbage disposal. It’s everything. The mailman brings me unsolicited mail. The postage stamp could've been licked by somebody with AIDS. My mother's a threat to my life just by persistin' to go out there. Barry, did you know there's this terrible dust storm in California? It has these fungus spores in it, and these spores...get into people's lungs and their bloodstream...and it grows, and then it kills them. Strange air. Strange air, Barry. Oh, I hear my mother's key in the door.

El Pollo Raylan said...

Bagoh20's advice about the canine diet is fine but it's too hard to strictly monitor the eatings of a dog. Our dog is fond of rabbit poop as related here and I'm not about to intervene nor am I going to clean up after the rabbit. C'est la vie.

El Pollo Raylan said...

And there's absolutely no meat in rabbit poop to my knowledge.

bagoh20 said...

I'm deeply humbled and honored by the hat tip, Professor.

Sorun said...

I once came across a fresh wolf turd in northern Minnesota. It had the curlicue shape of a big dog turd, but consisted of only wet fur. No brown stuff. Very efficient digestion.

bagoh20 said...

" she's no longer crapping yellow-brown ooze into her long, flowing, well-furred Sheltie britches."

Is that a Gatsby quote? It's good enough to be.

Aridog said...

bagoh20 ... you deserve the hat tip. What you wrote and how you wrote it was perfect. Clear, concise, and meaningful.

It touched many of us...it touched me because I had a brother who faced something similar many years ago, where the survival rates were much less. He was given experimental drugs, at that time, against FDA regulations, and he survived much longer than anticipated. Never the less, the federal government arrested the surgical team who saved Jerry's life...only to have the charges dismissed, as they should have been.

You are going to survive to live out a normal life span and I'm delighted to know that. I am pleased that my brother (RIP)was part of the transplant pioneering that makes it possible.

bagoh20 said...

Thanks for that Aridog. I have often thought about the people who went through transplants early on in the experimental period when success meant just lasting a few extra weeks or months. We certainly never could have gotten to the miracles pulled off regularly every day now without them. I think about how different what they experienced was in knowing that hope was really not for them, but for those coming behind them. By contrast, in my case there were scary times, but I never really expected not to succeed once I got the new liver. I got noticeably better every day. I owe that to people like your brother.

Inga said...

Do transplanted people take on the personality of the human the organ came from? Baggie's liver must've belonged to a wonderful sweet kind woman who loved pink panties with tiny little rosebuds on them.

bagoh20 said...

Maybe you're right, Inga, because ever since the transplant, I have not been comfortable in any other underwear. Before, you never would have caught me in pink.

Teri said...

I have bird fanciers lung. My boyfriend has macaws and cockatoos. I started coughing badly in November. By January it was all I could do to walk down the hall. My doctors thought it was either bronchitis or pneumonia. It took a specialist to diagnosis it. It is an immune disease, where you lungs react to the dust from the feathers and can no longer convert air to oxygen. (And I was even affected by my down comforter at that point.)

You can't have the birds in the same space with you when you have this stuff. So I can understand why the doctors would want them to be removed from the house. I wouldn't consider this murder, as he did not have a disease caused by the birds, just a higher than normal risk. It would have been wise for them to heed the doctors warnings, but most people aren't aware of how bad this disease is.

Teri said...

I have bird fanciers lung. My boyfriend has macaws and cockatoos. I started coughing badly in November. By January it was all I could do to walk down the hall. My doctors thought it was either bronchitis or pneumonia. It took a specialist to diagnosis it. It is an immune disease, where you lungs react to the dust from the feathers and can no longer convert air to oxygen. (And I was even affected by my down comforter at that point.)

You can't have the birds in the same space with you when you have this stuff. So I can understand why the doctors would want them to be removed from the house. I wouldn't consider this murder, as he did not have a disease caused by the birds, just a higher than normal risk. It would have been wise for them to heed the doctors warnings, but most people aren't aware of how bad this disease is.

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