June 28, 2013

"Bert and Ernie clearly love each other."

 But does Ernie suck Bert’s cock? I don't think so.



IN THE COMMENTS: Rabel said: "As I understand my puppets, that's Elmo's job."

ADDED: I remember when it was considered awful for Jerry Falwell to perceive Tinky Winky as gay.

59 comments:

MadisonMan said...

Doesn't make me want to buy the Magazine.

campy said...

Would anything make you buy a $6.99 magazine?

edutcher said...

The Lefties are such a class act.

Revenant said...

There isn't a good emoticon for "eye roll". I view this as a failure of ASCII.

EDH said...

I suspect only on Bert's birthday... if they're married.

Inga said...

But does Bert even have a penis?!

Palladian said...

Juvenile.

And it reinforces a troubling and disgusting deference to authority, as if rights spring forth from the whims of 9 random lawyers dressed in gowns.

Americans need to realize that rights, gay and otherwise, are not the State's to grant or remove. More often than not, the State is a threat to rights, as the existence of DOMA demonstrates.

The victory here is that we're one step closer to the ideal: removing the State from marriage altogether.

Note to so-called liberals: stop bowing to lawyers in gowns.

Note to social conservatives: if God is as great, and marriage is as ancient and sacred as you claim, then don't rely on the State to define it for you, and don't expect other people with different beliefs to live by your definitions.

Note to the Democrat and Republican parties: fuck both of you.

Rabel said...

"But does Ernie suck Bert’s cock? I don't think so."

As I understand my puppets, that's Elmo's job.

Methadras said...

So the left things that animated puppets that have been iconic for Children for decades are now homosexuals. Oh the implication was always there, but that is because adults made that implication. Not children. However, many of these children are grown now and have an affinity for the characters of Burt and Ernie because they are so cute. So this is another thing that the left can twist, taint, and exploit for their diabolical and nefarious purposes. Hopefully people will now abandon sesame street and stop watching. I wonder if Sesame street sanctioned this.

Methadras said...

Big Bird was not available for comment.

elkh1 said...

Hypersexed America. No more buddies: man-man relationship = gay, man-woman = rape (not rape-rape), woman-woman =?

Inga said...
But does Bert even have a penis?!

Immaterial, he can't take off his pants.

Mark said...

Muppets do not exist below the waste. Literally.

And second ... what kind of adult is willing to screw with toddlers by appropriating their cultural icon. I have a four year old who still adores Ernie ... who it should be noted has a far too positive attitude to be as in your face as this cover is.

Palladian said...

So the left things that animated puppets that have been iconic for Children for decades are now homosexuals. Oh the implication was always there...

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that almost every single one of them is unable to perform without a fist shoved up their ass.

Palladian said...

Muppets do not exist below the waste. Literally.

I know one Muppet who exists below the waste.

Scott M said...

Would anything make you buy a $6.99 magazine?

If OMNI came back, I would, in a heartbeat. Quicker.

To the subject at hand...must they co-opt everything?

ad hoc said...

I do think there is a religious definition of marriage as a sacrament and that exists independently of other unions that are accepted in society, such as common law marriage. To me, this is where gay marriage falls and I don't really care about it.

Bill, Republic of Texas said...

Palladian said...

I didn't follow the drama of the last two days so i guess your removal from Althouse was greatly exaggerated. Good.

EMD said...

Can't we for once de-sexualize something?

jacksonjay said...


Next thing you know, Cookie Monster will be a tranny!

Palladian said...

I didn't follow the drama of the last two days so i guess your removal from Althouse was greatly exaggerated. Good.

Hearsay.

edutcher said...

Palladian said...

So the left things that animated puppets that have been iconic for Children for decades are now homosexuals. Oh the implication was always there...

Maybe it has something to do with the fact that almost every single one of them is unable to perform without a fist shoved up their ass.


Now that's a joke with an intellectual zip to it.

Welcome back.

Revenant said...

Note to the Democrat and Republican parties: fuck both of you.

But wrap your junk first, because those two parties have been around the block a few times if you know what I mean.

Tim said...

Maybe they've been killed in a home invasion and the perps propped the bodies up to keep the prudes way.

Saint Croix said...

I think the idea we're supposed to get is "ha ha, your kids have been watching gay muppets, and you didn't even know it."

Also, "now our gay muppets will come out of the closet."

I believe what upset people the most about Brown v. Board was that it involved children. You could read that case as simply enforcing the equal protection clause, which bans racial discrimination.

But why start with children?

It's possible the Supreme Court (or Thurgood Marshall, who brought suit) wasn't just trying to enforce the law. They were trying to change the society. And the idea was that by racially integrating children at an early age, we could make racial bigotry disappear.

And it worked! But it was also like, "ha ha, we have your children now." And there was a white flight from the public schools. In fact, in many places the public schools are still suffering.

This is, I think, a fear of parents, that they will lose control of their children to state indoctrination.

So, for instance, Jerry Falwell was upset about the gay teletubbie. Other groups were upset about Heather Has Two Mommies.

So the New Yorker cover is poking fun at these fears. "Ha ha, your children belong to us."

Palladian said...

But wrap your junk first, because those two parties have been around the block a few times if you know what I mean.

Perhaps I should have said "Fuck each other". They seem to really like to do that.

Rialby said...

And this, this is why so many people have resisted normalizing gay marriage.

Because it never stops there. It's never about Bob and Don and whether they should be allowed to "marry" and raise their Bichons.

It's about forcing everyone, everywhere (except for those whom you fear like the Muhammedians) to tow the line. Every child in every public school will be forced to understand that they can "choose" to be gay or straight.

Just as 20 years ago, it was considered WRONG to call homosexuality inborn, so too will it be WRONG to dispute that it's something all children should be taught as a choice.

edutcher said...

Interesting point.

What does happen the first time a Moslem goes all jihad on some homosexual?

Which protected minority will be protected?

Remember what the Dinner Jacket said when asked about the treatment of homosexuals in Iran, "There are no homosexuals in Iran".

Jane said...

I'd say the chances are greater than 50/50 that Sesame Street will come up with a gay-married couple -- either a human couple, or with clues to the adults, if not the children, that Bert & Ernie are a Couple.

Muppets are not people. They do not have to be identified -- should not be identified -- as adult, child, married, single, etc. If you try to squeeze them into human categories you've got to ask yourselves whether they're adults (if they are, why don't they go to work every day?) or children (if so, where are their parents) first.

Clyde said...

They're muppets; they only do handjobs.

Quaestor said...

Paladian wrote:
I know one Muppet who exists below the waste.

Where would such humor be if not for the artifacts of spell-check?

But does Ernie suck Bert's cock?

Maybe he licks Frank's wrist...

Susan Stewart Rich said...

What a crude gimick. Cute, but pathetic.

Bob Ellison said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Youngblood said...

"So the left things that animated puppets that have been iconic for Children for decades are now homosexuals. Oh the implication was always there, but that is because adults made that implication. Not children."

I/m not so sure about that. When I was a boy (and I mean like 8 or 9, circa 1983), kids would perversely parody pretty much everything, like the "Happy Family" song:

I love you, you love me
Ho-mo-sex-you-al-eh-tee
Some may say we're just friends
But we're really lesbians

Also, the GI Joe theme song: "G.I. Joe / A real American homo!"

Also, the Transformers theme song: "Transvestites / More than meets the eye!"

That last one's not necessarily gay, but there's a point kids (or at least boys) hit where literally perverting... well... pretty much everything is inherently hilarious.

And yeah, when I was a kid, we all 'knew' that Bert and Ernie were gay.

Darrell said...

Obama and Ernie--

http://thelookingspoon.com/101-super-user/photos/photo.html?albumid=11&photoid=1286

Simon said...

edutcher said...
"Remember what the Dinner Jacket said when asked about the treatment of homosexuals in Iran, 'There are no homosexuals in Iran'"

And he wasn't lying. When Iran finds a homosexual, they get right on with it--and "it" isn't "respecting the exercise of their natural rights." You have countries that kill gays and rape victims, but, let's keep this straight, it's really conservative Americans who are the real enemies of gays and women. Yep. Nothing to see here.

Revenant said...

And this, this is why so many people have resisted normalizing gay marriage.

This? This is what worried you? You couldn't think of a sillier reason for resisting gay marriage?

Honestly, the "Bert and Ernie are gay, hurr hurr hurr" jokes predate the gay marriage movement by decades. You need to recalibrate your outrage detector, because it is clearly on too sensitive a setting.

Revenant said...

You have countries that kill gays and rape victims, but, let's keep this straight, it's really conservative Americans who are the real enemies of gays and women. Yep. Nothing to see here.

"Americans should worry about Iranians, not Americans" is a pretty fuckin' stupid argument.

Joan said...

Multiple comments from Palladian and Revenant = Awesome comment thread.

Also: stupid magazine cover. Did the Children's Television Workshop OK it? I'd love it if they filed a trademark infringement over it.

EMD said...

"Americans should worry about Iranians, not Americans" is a pretty fuckin' stupid argument.

Yeah, crazy shit like that would never happen here

Greg Hlatky said...

I'd make a comment, but someone might use it against me in 27 years.

Youngblood said...

" Did the Children's Television Workshop OK it?"

No. That's not how parody usually works.

"I'd love it if they filed a trademark infringement over it."

They won't. Trademark law wouldn't actually be relevant here and, as far as copyright goes, even an incompetent lawyer would be able to gin up a solid fair use/paraody defense.

Youngblood said...

"'Americans should worry about Iranians, not Americans' is a pretty fuckin' stupid argument."

I thought we were talking about Muppets here, not Americans.

I mean, Oscar the Grouch's Israeli cousin is apparently a little worried about Iranians.

No, seriously.

Rialby said...

Nice for you to mock without addressing my broader point. This is not about suggesting that two puppets living in the barrio fellate each other. This is about bullying pure and simple. This is about getting to the dissenting adults through the Obamayouth.

Whatever. Who cares.

Youngblood said...

"This is not about suggesting that two puppets living in the barrio fellate each other. This is about bullying pure and simple. This is about getting to the dissenting adults through the Obamayouth."

No, it isn't.

It's a cartoon riffing on the fairly common joke that Bert and Ernie are deeply closeted gays.

Paul Zrimsek said...

I see Statler and Waldorf in the TV picture, but who are the other seven people?

Rialby said...

I don't get it. Where's the context for the joke? Didd Scalia say something about how Elmo's voice likes buggering boys?

Why the cover? Please explain the 'joke'.

Revenant said...

Yeah, crazy shit like that would never happen here

We're a big country. Pick something crazy, its probably happening somewhere.

Is it happening here at a rate statistically different from zero? That'd be a "no". Anyone who thinks honor killing is a problem here can't do math. Hell, Christian Science faith healing kills more kids, and even THAT isn't a big problem anymore...

Youngblood said...

"Please explain the 'joke'."

I already did. A long-standing joke is that Bert and Ernie are secretly closeted gays. Like I said, kids were saying this at least as far back as when I was 8 or 9 (1983/1984). The New Yorker cover cartoon takes that and overlays it onto a serious event (the Supreme Court's DOMA decision) to create a humorous juxtaposition.

kentuckyliz said...

NAMBLA should adopt Mr. Rodgers for its mascot. He was way too nice to children...must be a pedo.

Youngblood said...

"[Mr. Rogers] was way too nice to children...must be a pedo."

As kids, we made plenty of jokes about Mr. Rogers being a pedophile. I mean, c'mon... the character name "Mr. McFeely" really lends itself to that kind of thing!

AprilApple said...

@ Palladian Note to so-called liberals: stop bowing to lawyers in gowns.

They can't.

AprilApple said...

This is the official Palladian kicks the shit out of it.. and I like... thread.

go.

Basta! said...

"But does Ernie suck Bert’s cock?"

C'mon, of course not. They're lesbians. I mean, look at their positioning --- a dyke cuddle if I ever saw one.

Plus, their hair

Quaestor said...

NAMBLA should adopt Mr. Rodgers for its mascot.

Huh? Fred Rogers looked nothing like Marlon Brando. He may have done a passable Vito Corleone (Can youse say make him an offer he can't refuse?) but that doesn't count. Nowadays they look similar, as do most corpses after nine or ten years. Hey! wait a minute... by NAMBLA did Liz mean that Man/Boy sex thing? Oh, shit.

Rialby said...

Do you think I am a fucking moron?

I get the Bert and Ernie are gay joke. But it's irrelevant to this week's events. Why not feature some other ACTUAL gay couple? What the fuck do two puppets who have been the subject of urban legend have to do with ACTUAL human homosexuals getting the right to marry bestowed on them by the SCOTUS?

Youngblood said...

"I get the Bert and Ernie are gay joke. Why not feature some other ACTUAL gay couple? What the fuck do two puppets who have been the subject of urban legend have to do with ACTUAL human homosexuals getting the right to marry bestowed on them by the SCOTUS?"

The editors of The New Yorker have a pretty long tradition of putting cartoons with humorous juxtapositions on the cover.

Examples: Santa Claus in the belly of a military helicopter escorted by special operators. A bearded and crazy-eyed Osama Bin Laden as a Salvation Army Santa. Monica Lewinsky as the Mona Lisa. King Kong splashing eager crowds during a summer heat wave with a massive super soaker. Mitt Romney debating an empty chair.

The answer to your question is that a cartoonist or illustrator pitched the idea and the editors thought that it would make a funny cover.

Youngblood said...

Oh, and I forgot:

"Do you think I am a fucking moron?"

No, I don't. I think that you're a zealot whose paranoia has led you to see an absurd juxtaposition as a nefarious plot to seduce the youth.

Also, given that you asked me to explain the joke and I responded in good faith and with no hostility, and yet you still got offended, I think that you're one of those hypersensitive assholes who goes around looking for excuses to get upset.

I don't know (or care) if you're an idiot though.

President-Mom-Jeans said...

I'm guessing Althouse made her son watch a lot of Sesame Street when he was a child.

Rialby said...

It's not a joke, so says the ARTIST who called it Moment of Joy and said of it, "it's amazing to witness how attitudes on gay rights have evolved in my lifetime. This is great for our kids, a moment we can all celebrate.".

Please apologize. It was not intended as a joke or a parody.