April 12, 2013

A man preferred the wife he had before she started taking anti-depressants.

The old sarcasm and sense of the absurd aligned with his, and now it's gone, superseded by optimism.

47 comments:

carrie said...

I have a friend where it went the otherway. The friend's husband was on anti-anxiety medicine and wanted to stop it. The husband went off the medicine and my friend didn't like him when he was off the medicine--they had met when he was taking the medicine--so he is still on it.

C Stanley said...

The intersection of neurochemistry and personality is fascinating.i'm struggling with that, with a child who requires medication for a mental illness. I also struggle spiritually with the difficulties that the illness creates in the formation of his conscience.

Clyde said...

IANAD, but...

Either he should start on the same medication or she should stop taking it. Either both should be zombies or neither should.

traditionalguy said...

The level of unknowns in this ersatz "science" analysis is close to total.

But promotion of the masking of human personality behind drugged up states is the scandal of the last 40 years.

Drug pushers are drug pushers.

Query: Who makes the mega dollars from the so called balancing out of Rx anti depressants with Rx amphetamines of all brand names????

Bob Ellison said...

Leave her.

edutcher said...

It depends on how it affects her.

If she walks around the house smiling and saying things like, "It's great to be young and insane", I can see where it could get on one's nerves.

Mitchell the Bat said...

Happy wives are all alike; every unhappy wife is unhappy in her own way.

TML said...

I can see how this is a very legit question. If we marry people for who they are, and then they change, that could be very uncomfortable and confusing.

C Stanley said...

If only the AD would affect the woman's sex drive in the positive direction instead of negative, if she were cheerily trying to boff him three times a day, he'd probably be cool with the change.

C Stanley said...

TML- i agree and it remonds me of the movie (surprisingly good IMO) When a Man Loves a Woman about a woman recovering from alcoholism and almost blowing up her marriage. Even positive changes can easily upset an equilibrium.

Tim said...

I predict a lawsuit.

Tim said...

Mitchell the Bat said...

"Happy wives are all alike; every unhappy wife is unhappy in her own way."

Tolstoy called.

He wants his sentence back.

bagoh20 said...

Reason number 6,275 why you should avoid marriage. You never really know who your marrying. Sometimes they don't even know who you're marrying.

bagoh20 said...

I know it's not always necessary, but are there any unhappy wives who get laid regularly and well?

Broomhandle said...

Purely by chance, at my last three jobs there has been one co-worker who has been manic depressive/bi-polar/OCD. Always fun to see who walks in the door in the morning.

Tim said...

Dodger fans will need anti-depressants this morning: Dodgers lose Greinke to broken collarbone in brawl.

I feel so bad for them.

Ok, I lied.

I don't.

There.

I feel better now.

Tim said...

bagoh20 said...

"I know it's not always necessary, but are there any unhappy wives who get laid regularly and well?"

I am unqualified to answer this question, maybe uniquely so, as I have no personal experience with an unhappy wife who isn't "laid regularly and well," but my supposition is, "No."

Peter said...

Well, depression can be either endogenous or exogenous. And what if some antidepressants can make even the non-depressed feel better?

Would we be better off if all the sorrow of life could just be erased? For example, would you prefer to skip the grief you'd expect to experience when someone you care about dies?

If some super-Zoloft could just erase all the sorrow you might ever experience, would you choose to take it?

Nomennovum said...

I know it's not always necessary, but are there any unhappy wives who get laid regularly and well?

An unhappy wife sees to it that the rest of her family shares in her unhappiness -- especially the husband. So the answer is No.

Then again, it may depend on your definition of "regularly."

bagoh20 said...

I'm not qualified to answer either, but I have noticed that in relationships when things are a little rough, it's never when the woman is getting it regularly, and virtually every time she does, her issues all dissolve like magic. If you pick the wrong woman, that could be an exhausting maintenance schedule.

Tim said...

"If you pick the wrong woman, that could be an exhausting maintenance schedule."

Ok, I'm prepared to agree, but the downside to performing maintenance is what, exactly?

Inga said...

C Stanley, I thought about that film also, "When a Man Loves a Woman". Perhaps it was more her real personality to be more positive, cheerful all along and the SSRI simply allowed her to express it.

tim said...

And now the state will come and get his guns because his wife is on ads.

real life is now just like a conspiracy theory

EMD said...

virtually every time she does, her issues all dissolve like magic.

Except if she has anxieties about getting pregnant, even though it is near impossible for that to happen.

Not that I have any knowledge of such thing ...

AprilApple said...

Reminds me of the book Addition. Sometimes it's more fun to be nuts.

mccullough said...

The Days of Wine and Roses

Hulk Smash said...

SHE-HULK NOT SHE-HULK
ON PROWZAC
NOT BIG
NOT GREEN

PUNY HUMAN

SHIT

C Stanley said...

@ Inga- more often though the complaint that people have about their loved ones on SSRIs is that they are apathetic, not overly cheery. The people taking the drugs often dislike this too. That effect isn't part of a correction to normal, but an abnormal blunting of emotions.

I think philosophically it's highly debatable whether there is such a thing as core personality anyway, since that concept relies too heavily on tabula rasa theory.

Basically psychotropic drugs are crap, but for certain people there's not much in the way of better alternatives.

bagoh20 said...

"Ok, I'm prepared to agree, but the downside to performing maintenance is what, exactly?".

Run it into the ground, and then buy a new one.

bagoh20 said...

Another proven strategy is to leave the keys in it, and let someone steal it, then get a new one.

Inga said...

C Stanley, there is so much more we need to learn about the human brain. Best of luck to your child.

C Stanley said...

Indeed, and thank you, Inga.

tim in vermont said...

I used to be a very funny guy whom everybody liked to be around but on whom nobody could depend. If I were independently wealthy, stopping the meds would be a no-brainer.

Portia said...

You didn't say it was Slate (arrrrghhh) and Prudie (again, arrrrghhh).

Can't abide either.

elkh1 said...

Guess it's really the man who needs anti-depressants.

His "sarcasm and sense of the absurd" have depressed his wife. He needs a life.

elkh1 said...

Misery needs company.

She should leave the miserable twerp who is getting her down.

blackjellybean said...

I'm skeptical. I've been on Paxil for a few years now for anxiety. My husband is on Prozac for OCD. Being on drugs has not changed our personalities at all. It HAS allowed me to go about my life without panic attacks, and my husband to function without having to complete a zillion elaborate OCD rituals each day. Of course, being free of those burdens has made us much happier -- maybe that's what his wife is so "sunshine-y" about, and if so, good for her.

Martha said...

My sister-in-law is on an antidepressant that makes her sound cheerful but it is a hollow happy ...... no one real announces devastating news gleefully.

When I talk to her Iit is like talking to a robot or a computer generated program--she the person is absent.

Martha said...

it NOT lit

Darcy said...

I agree with traditionalguy.

My feeling is that they're grossly over-prescribed to people who are NOT in need of them. They are the new "depressed". What I mean is that it's normal - even possibly beneficial and necessary to go through periods of emotional pain and these drugs mask that, not to mention alter personalities.

I have experienced some of these medications. My mom and dad were dying and I was at once prescribed together Ambien, Xanax and Zoloft. Of coure, I breezed right through the funerals - but was that the aim/goal? I hope not.

Inga said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Inga said...

Trad guy, I've asked the same question about docs pushing statins on everybody, even people with borderline cholesteral issues. Instead they could be ordering more advanced lipid testing and alternative therapies.

victoria said...

Damn that optimism. Gets them every time.

He should be grateful.

Vicki from Pasadena

Mary Beth said...

I wonder if she liked him better before she started taking it.

Tibore said...

Didn't the sitcom Friends do a similar conceit, albeit reversed, with "Fun Bobby"? He was a blast until they sobered him up? Whoops!

Harold said...

"My sister-in-law is on an antidepressant that makes her sound cheerful but it is a hollow happy ...... no one real announces devastating news gleefully."

Ummm... It was once suggested when I was on active duty that I be appointed as the new Casusalty Assistance Call Officer for the command I was at. After everyone was done laughing, we started talking about serious candidates. Everyone present- including me- understood that my personality wouldn't meld well with telling people, "Oh, by the way, your loved one is dead." There's lots of things I can do- but being empathetic is not one of them.

jr565 said...

There was actually an episode of house I just saw that had this exact story. The woman's husband was the nicest guy ever. But he started having stroke like symptoms and went to the hospital. House started thinking his niceness was actually caused by an illness. And it turns out he a form of syphillis that changed his personality. At the end he was cured but the wife started wondering if was no longer the same guy.