February 24, 2013

"Live-Snarking The Oscars."

Nikki Finke.

(Me, I'm not watching. I just completely do not care. I used to care, but I don't anymore. I value my time in a way that doesn't leave a place for going to the movies, let alone watching the awards show. I really don't care who wins anything at all.)

64 comments:

raf said...

I really don't care who wins anything at all.

Second the motion.

ampersand said...

Try to get this out of your head.

DADvocate said...

I forgot they were on tonight. I think the last time I watched was in the 70s.

Tibore said...

Oh, c'mon Professor? Where else can you get 4 hours of uninterrupted comedy GOLD out of someone's self importance? Only Election Night at the Democratic Headquarters comes close.

tiger said...

Yeah I basically agree Professor.

In fact I'm more interested in the technical awards than in the acting or movie ones.

Seriously who GAF what Heavy I mean 'Harvey' Weinstein has to say about anything.

Basta! said...

From the live snark on the Oscar's "interminable" opening:

"This is supposed to be an edgy song about “Boobs”. . . Ohmygawd, that’s really the Gay Men’s Chorus Of Los Angeles singing about tits. Can the Oscars go any lower?

Tibore said...

You all are too curmudgeonly. I for one dig the Oscars.

Sure, part of my enjoyment is to retail snark on what happens, but well... there's a part there that's not disrespectful towards it as well.

Tibore said...

@Basta!: Yeah, but it leads up to snark like "Man, even Denzel couldn't pull out of that dive!" I mean, when something's that bad, it's better than a train wreck!

garage mahal said...

Shirley Bassie singing Goldfinger was pretty incredible.

Tibore said...

For once, I gotta agree with Garage. Bassey knocked it out of the park. She old schooled her way to awesome tonight. Showed this generation's Autotuners what stage singing really is.

whoresoftheinternet said...

Is this one of those years they give a bunch of awards to black people for movies nobody saw, to make up for the fact that black people consistently under perform in the movie business as a whole?

Or is this one of those years where every other movie is about the Holocaust/Jewish lifestyles and we're supposed to feel guilty about it our something?

Or is this one of those "let's normalize the deviant" lifestyle movie years where child molesters, sodomites, trannies, murderers, rapists, terrorists, and drug dealers are held up as "victims" of an unjust evil society run by Evil Whitey?

Or are these a once every decade kind of thing?

Revenant said...

The only movie I saw last year was The Avengers.

garage mahal said...

*Bassey

whoresoftheinternet said...

lol. Garbage pail the liar returns!

Tell us all again, Garbage, about how being a communist does not in anyway entail believing in overthrowing the government.

We're waiting, liar.

Lem said...

Did Ben Affleck just back stab the presenter?

whoresoftheinternet said...

@Revnant:

Yah, I think Avengers was the only one I saw, too.

But here's a question: WTF with the Hulk? Getting banner angry was THE plan Loki had and was the focal point of 2/3 of the movie. Then, all of sudden, for no explained reason, Banner can control the Hulk?

Seriously---a throwaway line about how the fall out of the plane caused a concussion that gave him control over his hulk-side and a short scene showing him being in control of his hulk powers would have done a lot.

Absolutely took me out of the movie.

jr565 said...

Garage mahal wrote:

Shirley Bassie singing Goldfinger was pretty incredible.

I have to agree. While the Goldfinger song is not one of my favorite James Bond songs, she sang the hell out of the song.
I had to look upher age just to see how old she was.

Lem said...

Chicago?

Wasn't that movie from some years ago?... and Isn't it racist to say Chicago on television anymore?

Lem said...

Jennifer Hudson singing has improved.

WestVirginiaRebel said...

The musical numbers are pretty good.

JAL said...

Well we are so totally not watching the Oscars but I just fell onto the channel a minute ago to see Hugh Jackman singing. So I stopped. A really nice -- actually fabulous full cast Les Miserables piece. Ann Hathaway was lovely, as were several others. Voice and all. Russell Crowe was there too.

Standing ovation from the OScars crowd.

Serendipitous catch worth pausing for.

Now on to something on Amazon Prime for the rest of the evening.

jr565 said...

I'm noticing that the singers are the Stars of this show.

heyboom said...

My wife and I couldn't care less about the Oscars either, but we do love going to the movies. And I mean LOVE going to the movies.

Titus said...

Seth McFarlane tour de force.

tits.

Almost Ali said...

Why does Anne Hathaway always remind me of the horrors of an egg salad sandwich?

And how long will Les Mis go on? From here to eternity?

Alex said...

I'm sorry but Anne Whoreaway's bug eyes are just too distracting.

Alex said...

I hope Jennifer Lawrence wins.

MadisonMan said...

If I'd known Shirley Bassey was going to sing, I would have watched. At least I'll be able to see her performance on Youtube.

That's my favorite Bond Song.

Brent said...

1) garage - you are right! bassey was awesome.

2) actually have enjoyed most of Seth's humor until:

3) he made that oh so brave joke about the mythyical "Christian Right".

Here's one for you Seth: Christopher Dorner shot the wrong guy. It was supposed to have been that fucker Seth McFarland. Too bad he failed.

The Godfather said...

The number one reason that I'm glad I watched part of the Oscars tonight: I found there was one thing on which I agree with Garage Mahal: Shirley Bassey. This is good. Perhaps next year Garage will be right about two things.

jr565 said...

This oscars should be called The Grammy's. because its all about music, not about movies.

jr565 said...

Anne Hathaway should not have won for Les Miz. She was barely in the movie, and while her voice was perfecly fine it wasn't a groundbreaking performance at all.

kcom said...

Been there. Done that. Got over it a long time ago.

kcom said...

Been there. Done that. Got over it a long time ago.

William said...

I didn't watch. You Tube has made watching it obsolete. I'm sure that there were a few good moments and a few more worth mocking, but you can catch up with these later on You Tube.....I suppose there are still some people alive who enjoy the show. Animal Channel should run a Puppy Award Show for counterprogramming during the commercials and tech awards.

dreams said...

I want my home state girl Jennifer Lawrence to win best actress.

Leland said...

I saw Avengers and Acts of Valor in theaters. I waited for Skyfall to make Blu-Ray, and I'm glad I did. I loved the first two Daniel Craig Bond movies, but this one was horrible.

Titus said...

There were no politics!

parky said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Lem said...

Sequestration of the Oscars Best Picture.

Lem said...

There were no politics!

Spoken too soon.

Quayle said...

There it is. The final marriage of Hollywood and Washington DC. Fakers, sleazebags, backstabbers all of them.

Chip Ahoy said...

Did I just see now michelle obama? My Ninja reflexes shut it off!

If that is her there, then that proves they simply are not serious about governing, AT ALL and the whole Argo thing is pure contrived spoon-fed political bullshit.

Chip Ahoy said...

Fuck all these incredibly arrogant bastards. I'm off to see Zero Dark Thirty or whatever that is. Buy a few extra tickets and pass 'em out to bums with extra cash for candy and coke and beer and crap. There's my vote.

Almost Ali said...

Say good night, Gracie.

Patrick said...

TL; DW

Chip S. said...

Putting Michelle O on at the last minute was a smart move. Now everyone will talk about that instead of Seth MacFarlane.

Chip S. said...

I was hoping that Daniel Day-Lewis would pull a silver-bladed axe out of his jacket.

JAL said...

Well st least she didn't spen a million of our dollars and fly out there.

Sheesh.

whoresoftheinternet said...

lol! Wait, the first Klingon appeared?! That's hilarious. Not enough trannies at the show, they brought on one more, eh?

Enjoy the decline, tranny-lovers!

Icepick said...

I can't believe I'm writing this, but I actually enjoyed Seth Macfarland as the host. Perhaps it's because he pulled a line out of the Johnny Carson playbook when he said, "I would argue that the actor who really got inside Abraham Lincoln's head was John Wilkes Booth."

Darrell said...

So you expect me to believe that Michelle Obama and the Showrunners DIDN"T know the contents of the envelope? They--and the White House handlers-- would take a chance that Django Unchained--or some other potential embarassment to the administration wouldn't be there?

Bullshit. They knew in advance AND against the rules that it was Argo. As rigged as the last election.

Craig said...

Jack showed up. Where was Clint?

edutcher said...

Putting Moochelle on completes the irrelevance of the Oscars.

I may be wrong, but I don't think anybody's cared about them since about 1970.

Ann Althouse said...

I value my time in a way that doesn't leave a place for going to the movies

Going out to the movies is more than just seeing a picture.

It's about a walk in the night air (if the weather's good).

Eating out at a different place.

A chance to get a little smoochy.

but it does help if there's a picture worth seeing, even if it's just for fun.

kentuckyliz said...

I watched the end of the show. Barbra Streisand sang Memories and they had the tributes--that was nice.

Seth McFarlane cracked wise, my fave being "as if tonight isn't gay enough yet, next we have...."

The best actress fell on the stairs on her way up to the stage. Hilarious.

Daniel Day Lewis cracked wise. His presenter was Meryl Streep, and he said he was grateful to her for agreeing to switch roles--he was supposed to do Margaret Thatcher and Meryl was supposed to do Lincoln. Very funnily done. Even Meryl was cracking up.

Lots of Seth McFarlane hate out there, but also lots of love especially among the younger ones. I think a young actress arty friend of mine about had an orgasm.

Alas, he's happily married so she pines with unrequited love like in the 1920s.

Ironclad said...

I thought Michelle handled her part well enough and I am not a fan. But I was very disturbed by all of the people in uniform around her in the scene. Aides? Military guard? Court? It was midnight for goodness sake and those people were getting paid to be props?

So much for government spending wisely.

AprilApple said...

Watch rich self-congratulatory self-absorbed a-holes back slab each other and hand eath other golden stautes all while they worship their sacred golden cow, the Obama family? No thanks. I'd rather chew on glass.

jr565 said...

I can't stand the degree to which the Obama's try to insert themselves into various entertainment vehicles. Is starting to get unseemly, the same way that Beyonce is being overexposed.
the Obama's are not all that entertaining or funny or witty, and they certainly aren't doing a good job with the economy.

Yet they always appear where celebrities will fawn all over them.

Craig said...

Eatswood deserved a lifetime achievement award for his empty chair monologue.

Rusty said...

They're about movies or something, right?

Widmerpool said...

Oh well, I've seen all the nominees and have to say I thought The Master was the best movie I've seen this year.

Jim said...

I'm with Ann. Why would anyone want to watch Hollywood pukes polishing their already well-buffed asses?

Leland said...

Going out to the movies is more than just seeing a picture.

I agree with this, but then there are other ways to get those things. It seems the Professor, based on her daily pictures, accomplishes this; or by picture did you mean the views she takes in?

Either way, it is good to have an excuse to get out the house, but there are better excuses than Argo. For example, Les Miserables is much better performed by a live musical troop than seen on film.

Freeman Hunt said...

We're very much into movies around here. Movies currently supply our livelihood.

We didn't watch the Oscars.