December 2, 2012

Man pretends to be gay and writes a book about it.

Gets criticized.
“I feel for the gay community of Nashville, and for every person who trusted [Timothy] Kurek enough to flirt with him, hang out with him, and confide in him about their lives,” wrote Amy Lieberman on the blog Feministing. “If I were in that community, I would feel so betrayed right now.”

In a Huffington Post blog post titled “Pretending To Be Gay Isn’t The Answer,” Emily Timbol, a religion blogger, expressed a similar opinion: “What's sad is that every interaction Timothy had during his year pretending was fake.”...

As for his original goal, to radically change who he was, Kurek says mission accomplished. He says he has conquered his prejudices of the LGBT community and is happy with the person he has become.

“If anybody had told me back then who I would be or what I would believe now,” Kurek said, “I would have thought they were completely insane.”

For example, Kurek now thinks homosexuality is completely acceptable.
So... he's a big old faker. He could be faking (or kidding himself) when he says he's not gay.

The book is "The Cross in the Closet," and he's writing a sequel... about his further journeys.... who knows where? His book is #9 on Amazon's gay & lesbian bestseller list.Once you're a successful memoir writer, you've got to have further vivid experiences. [ADDED: I predict: "The Cross Out of the Closet"... planned consciously/unconsciously all along.]

What did Norah Vincent do after "Self-Made Man: One Woman's Year Disguised as a Man"? I don't remember her receiving much criticism for her fakery, even though as a lesbian, she was sexually attracted to the women she met in the guise of a man. Her encore? "Voluntary Madness"!
At the conclusion of her celebrated first book — Self-Made Man... — Norah Vincent found herself emotionally drained and severely depressed.

Determined but uncertain about maintaining her own equilibrium, she boldly committed herself to three different facilities-a big-city hospital, a private clinic in the Midwest, and finally an upscale retreat in the South. Voluntary Madness is the chronicle of Vincent's journey through the world of the mentally ill as she struggles to find her own health and happiness.

40 comments:

Shouting Thomas said...

If you are a straight young white man, and you want to succeed in academia, the government or the arts, my advice to you is...

Pretend to be gay. And, don't ever let the cat out of the bag.

Contrary to Athouse's repeated, and hilarious, attempts to phrase "openly gay" as a courageous and defiant posture, "openly gay" will open all the doors to you, young man.

You will morph from the despised bottom feeder of the quota system into the beloved beneficiary of that quota system. You will be feted and praised!

Michael K said...

"Black like me" was a hugely influential book of the 1950s. I don't recall any criticism of the author. I know it influenced me very much.

Times have certainly changed.

Kevin said...

Yeah, Black Like Me is practically one of the four Gospels of the left. I can't see the difference with what this guy did.

Oso Negro said...

I am guessing he turns out gay.

chickelit said...

I travelled about southern England once in the 90's with three Germans, pretending to be a German and not an American. The treatment I got was eye opening.

Anonymous said...

jane goddall never had to fake it.

Kevin said...

Shouting: Most straight male college students can't afford the wardrobe to pull that off successfully.

That isn't even snark. The fact is that for most straight males even IF they had the money to pull it off, it would take a huge effort to study fashion and understand it well enough to come across as unquestionably gay. When I was in college I wouldn't have even known where to begin. Of course there's the internet now, I guess that helps. You don't have to rely on your local bookstore to carry French GQ or Italian Vogue anymore, it's just a few clicks.

ricpic said...

Don't betray the gay!!!

The gay is a delicate flower
That mustn't be betrayed,
Because if you do it will close up on you
Withholding its petals pink.

Strelnikov said...

One can only imagine the horror with which the Left would view the author of "Black Like Me" were it published today.

Strelnikov said...

Oh, wait, the Left LOVES "Black Like Me". Forgot.

Also, this guy is gay to the core. It's a long, hard (no pun intended) journey to the light sometimes.

Tim said...

Oso Negro said...

"I am guessing he turns out gay."

I think we can set the over/under on the announcement at the ides of March.

tiger said...

Meh.

Who cares?

Anyone remember Al Pacino in 'Cruising'?

I, too, think he will come out permanently.

Damon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sam L. said...

"Black Like Me", anyone? No, I don't think the left would like it if it were written today.

edutcher said...

Wonder how many episodes of "Will And Grace" he had to watch to be able to pass?

(now there's a word whose connotations Ann could explore)

dcm said...

You see no difference between Black Like Me and this? This guy seems to be a huckster trying to make a buck. What Griffin did was a big fucking deal. And, yes, it was dangerous. Five years before the murder of those three young men in Mississippi. Just because you don't like the left, don't disparage everything it reveres.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Gay people pretend to be straight all the time. Turn about is fair play!

edutcher said...

Is that pretend or is the swishing pretend?

MadisonMan said...

I know it's a small sample size, but I'm struck that those quoted as being critical of his "experiment" are scoldy women.

What do men think?

It gets a big old 'meh' from me. Good for him for a getting a view into another person's life. And for selling the experience as a book.

Don't those blaming women know that everyone is lying all the time?

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

So, if you can pretend to be gay... you can also pretend to be straight.

Thats why the critics dont like this particular case of simulation... its too close to what its claimed a detriment to gays.

They fear the reverse simulation is precisely what is going on all too often.

Amexpat said...

How did he fly under the Gaydar?

Ann Althouse said...

"Contrary to Athouse's repeated, and hilarious, attempts to phrase "openly gay" as a courageous and defiant posture, "openly gay" will open all the doors to you, young man."

Quote a few of the things that I've written that you think you are describing there. I don't think you can. I think you are bullshitting about things you feel you've read elsewhere, not anything I've written.

Seriously, I challenge you do go into the archive -- you've got the tag "homosexuality" to help you -- and pull out what you are referring to.

Or take it back and apologize.

Kevin said...

Dcm: Yes you are quite correct that there was a vast difference between doing it for Black Like Me and doing it for this experiment. The former did risk a high degree of torture and murder; the latter risked his time and effort.

I guess I meant the end result, and the concept itself, are not different. At very least, not different enough to turn the former into a hero and the latter into a villain.

Ann Althouse said...

"I know it's a small sample size, but I'm struck that those quoted as being critical of his "experiment" are scoldy women. What do men think?"

Exactly. Maybe Dan Savage has opined. I'm going to check.

Chris Lopes said...

Pretending to be someone you are not, for the purposes of profit, is what members of the Screen Actors Guild do on a daily basis. In this case, the guy was also trying to find out about a segment of society he didn't know much about. That he is making money off of his discoveries (about the gay community and himself) should not invalidate what he has learned.

ndspinelli said...

A history lesson might be in order. This is the "Dark Month." S.A.D. can manifest itself w/ emotional, erratic behavior. The infamous Bloody Sunday was in December. Tread lightly or you might end up in the doghouse. Although we doghousers have a lot of fun, but it's not for everyone.

madAsHell said...

I travelled about southern England once in the 90's with three Germans, pretending to be a German and not an American. The treatment I got was eye opening.


Are you just going to leave us hanging???

Paco Wové said...

"I travelled about southern England once in the 90's with three Germans, pretending to be a German and not an American. The treatment I got was eye opening."

Did the natives continually not mention the war?

Anonymous said...

Perhaps she wore lederhosen, and kept asking where the beer gardens were.

Europe is a hothouse.

Anonymous said...

Hmm, do you suppose he took Political Science 201 at Butler University?

Anonymous said...

Hmm, do you suppose he took Political Science 201 at Butler University?

Shouting Thomas said...

Seriously, I challenge you do go into the archive...

A classic Althouse reply that ignores and avoids the substance of what I have to say, and gives me a homework assignment.

Thanks, schoolmarm!

Now, quit sidestepping the issue and respond to what I said.

Fr Martin Fox said...

The issue is lying. It's wrong.

I can see how an experiment like this can be eye-opening, but I was appalled to read he lied to his own family. Also, to the extent is family members' reactions are included in this book, that is pretty slimy.

His mother and father, certainly, didn't deserve to be treated like a hamster in a lab experiment. You don't lie to your parents about something like this. Nothing justifies that.

Lovernios said...

Kevin - "Black Like Me is practically one of the four Gospels of the left."

The other three: "Manchild in the Promised Land", Claude Brown; "The Autobiography of Malcom X"; and "Invisible Man", Ralph Ellison.

I read all four while participating in Project Upward Bound 1968-1970, perhaps the best program the left ever came up with.

Lovernios said...

RE: "People Get Ready" - great version by the Impressions. It was covered by many artists including, Vanilla Fudge, Curtis Mayfield, Areatha Franklin, Al Green, the Staple Singers and more.

Joe said...

For several years, I pretended to be religious. Right now, I'm pretending to not loathe my job.

Roux said...

There's a "gay and lesbian" bestseller list?

I thought the were just like the rest of us.

Unknown said...

I don't understand the criticism. These critics who are claiming that he lied to everyone about who he is--do they really think that we aren't all doing that all the time anyway? Or is it just that lying about one's sexual orientation is somehow beyond the pale, while lying about everything else is totally cool?

As for those people who are arguing that Black Like Me was so different: It was more dangerous, undoubtedly, but it wasn't otherwise different. He wrote a book and thus profited off of it, too. And gay activits are *constantly* telling us how dangerous it is to be gay, so if you believe that it is as dangerous to be gay now as it was to be black then, or that gays are just as oppressed now as blacks were back then--if you do really believe that, rather than just assert it to win MSNBC brownie points--then this is not really different.

Anonymous said...
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Methadras said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

As I've said before, and I'll say it again, this only proves that being a homosexual is fluid. Shocking isn't it that the homosexuals are all betrayed and mad about it. No ladies and gentlemen, they got fucked, by a hetero pretending to be one of them and showing the stupidity of it all. I wonder how long it took him to learn how to lisp.